Girlfriend is always quiet on phone or IM, need advice on it
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people of Fakku, i figure i would ask you all on this one. we've been going out for a month and a half now and when were on the phone she does not talk very much. she talks on AIM more but 90% of the time i am the person who starts the conversation. She likes listening to me i can tell but sometimes i want to talk to her but have her be the chatty one. it's driving me nuts that if i stop taking then there is a quiet pause! How the hell do i get her over her quietness?!
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
And your complaining about her not talking... i wish i had your girl, mine never shuts up. She probably still in the awkward stage of the relationship. Give it time and you wish she would go back.
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Well, my advice for you is that to try to talk to her about her subjects and stuff she knows. For example, ask about how she is doing in something, like sports or whatever. Try to talk about topics she knows about, so she can tell you. After that, it should be better I think. Hope this helps.
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Yukinari wrote...
people of Fakku, i figure i would ask you all on this one. we've been going out for a month and a half now and when were on the phone she does not talk very much. she talks on AIM more but 90% of the time i am the person who starts the conversation. She likes listening to me i can tell but sometimes i want to talk to her but have her be the chatty one. it's driving me nuts that if i stop taking then there is a quiet pause! How the hell do i get her over her quietness?!Does she talk in person as well?
Quiet pauses might not necessarily be a bad thing.
Anyway just talk about general stuff like weather or food or etc.She has to be interested in something that she would like to share.
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Try asking questions so she'll have to answer. One of these days you'll hit on a question that she is interested about, and maybe she'll open up then.
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Nekohime wrote...
Try asking questions so she'll have to answer. One of these days you'll hit on a question that she is interested about, and maybe she'll open up then.Completely agree. Ask questions. She will have to say something then. You just might get into a topic she really loves.
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
From personal experience, the more time you spend together in real life, the harder it is to talk on the phone.
Basically, because you are only able to concentrate what it is like to be with them in person and the phone just doesn't compare due to lack of intimacy.
IM is easier because you aren't hearing their voice with it. The somewhat impersonality is why she is more comfortable with it.
It's really not that she's shy or anything with the phone, it's that she is distracted with those thoughts.
Basically, because you are only able to concentrate what it is like to be with them in person and the phone just doesn't compare due to lack of intimacy.
IM is easier because you aren't hearing their voice with it. The somewhat impersonality is why she is more comfortable with it.
It's really not that she's shy or anything with the phone, it's that she is distracted with those thoughts.
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Yukinari wrote...
well you see she does talk much more in person and i do the questions thing but if it were not for that then we would probably be a silent couple. sometimes ill call her because i just wanted to talk to her, you know hear her voice and ill also want her to do the same but it feels more like she calls me because she feels obliged to being my girlfriend... that is if she calls. she would rather aim but using aim is not getting us closer. my basic issue is, why do i always have to be the conversation starter?!Oh if she's more talkative in person, then it's probably because she's not very comfortable using the phone and/or IM. I, for example, hate talking on phones to the point that I let even people I know go to voicemail because I'm uncomfortable with answering. If that's the case, you just have to wait for her to get comfortable with the medium.
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nevermind...we fucking broke up... : l i feel like i wasted a lot of time liking this girl... and now my head is all fucked up...
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Yukinari wrote...
nevermind...we fucking broke up... : l i feel like i wasted a lot of time liking this girl... and now my head is all fucked up...err you wanna share what happened?It sounded like it was going well except for a few kinks and all
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Argentine wrote...
Yukinari wrote...
nevermind...we fucking broke up... : l i feel like i wasted a lot of time liking this girl... and now my head is all fucked up...err you wanna share what happened?It sounded like it was going well except for a few kinks and all
A "few kinks and all" is my kind of relationship!
OH wait. You meant kinks as in troubles, not kinks as in "oh yeah baby tie me up and whip me." XD
Anyway, yeah...what happened?
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she told me that something was missing and that we would be better off as friends. she also told me that its not my fault but if were better off as friends then how is it that it was nothing i did? she wants to still be friends no matter what but right now im not hearing that. ohh what the fuck!!... i tried to see if i could get us to go somewere so we could have fun and i could better express my feelings for her before any of this happened and now i find myself pissed, sad, depressed and confused because its like she told me to keep my feelings to myself...
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Yah, basically she mind-fucked you and now you are dead inside. Thats awesome. Too bad she didnt find your relationship exciting or anything. Might just be better if you were friends. You never really got that major topic starter did you >.>
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Yukinari wrote...
she told me that something was missing and that we would be better off as friends. she also told me that its not my fault but if were better off as friends then how is it that it was nothing i did? she wants to still be friends no matter what but right now im not hearing that. ohh what the fuck!!... i tried to see if i could get us to go somewere so we could have fun and i could better express my feelings for her before any of this happened and now i find myself pissed, sad, depressed and confused because its like she told me to keep my feelings to myself...I been there too. Weirdly enough my relationship with her change me.
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animefreak_usa wrote...
Yukinari wrote...
she told me that something was missing and that we would be better off as friends. she also told me that its not my fault but if were better off as friends then how is it that it was nothing i did? she wants to still be friends no matter what but right now im not hearing that. ohh what the fuck!!... i tried to see if i could get us to go somewere so we could have fun and i could better express my feelings for her before any of this happened and now i find myself pissed, sad, depressed and confused because its like she told me to keep my feelings to myself...I been there too. Weirdly enough my relationship with her change me.
how so?
