how much is too much...aka the chasing amy problem
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how much experience (of the sexual variety) is too much? let's say you are in love with a girl/guy and it comes out that they have quite the vast sexual history in comparison to yours, and probably in comparison to most people....is there something from someone's past that you just could never get over to the point where it would change your view of that person or even break up over?
examples.....
if they've been with a member of the same sex before?
if they've had an affair with someone who was married?
if they've taken on multiple people at once during sex?
if they are a virgin but have sucked countless and countless dicks before they met wonderful you?
and would you even want to know? some people think that talking about ex boyfriends or past sexual experiences with your significant other is a horrible idea and such information should not be divulged or asked about at any point in the relationship.
so do people draw these lines, and if so, where? or are you in the "don't want to know" crowd?
examples.....
if they've been with a member of the same sex before?
if they've had an affair with someone who was married?
if they've taken on multiple people at once during sex?
if they are a virgin but have sucked countless and countless dicks before they met wonderful you?
and would you even want to know? some people think that talking about ex boyfriends or past sexual experiences with your significant other is a horrible idea and such information should not be divulged or asked about at any point in the relationship.
so do people draw these lines, and if so, where? or are you in the "don't want to know" crowd?
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The past is the past.
As long as she didn't get herpes or anything else from doing that stuff I couldn't careless.
As long as she didn't get herpes or anything else from doing that stuff I couldn't careless.
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I think for many people they feel uncomfortable if your histories are not comparable. If you've both had sex before, then you're probably not going to have a big deal. But if one of you has had sex before but the person has did anything and everything imaginable, it might be awkward. The same is probably true for virgins having sex with someone who has only been with one or two other people - the lack of experience compared with someone who has been around the block before can make things awkward.
If you experiences are at least near each other, there shouldn't be a problem. However, you can't hold it against someone if they are uncomfortable being with someone who has gone above and beyond anything they ever done.
If you experiences are at least near each other, there shouldn't be a problem. However, you can't hold it against someone if they are uncomfortable being with someone who has gone above and beyond anything they ever done.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
Some thing should be known, most shouldn't... been a while since i was single and i don't need to know how many times you screwed. Unless it a family or friend, we shouldn't know. As long you can pass the aids test... it all good.
But that being said, i knew my wife since high school, i knew the other man and most of the girls she slept with before me and don't care, and she knew of the guys and gals i did it with ... for the most part, doesn't bother her.
As long she/he is with you, that what counts.
But that being said, i knew my wife since high school, i knew the other man and most of the girls she slept with before me and don't care, and she knew of the guys and gals i did it with ... for the most part, doesn't bother her.
As long she/he is with you, that what counts.
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My GENERAL response to your proposed situations would be:
if they've been with a member of the same sex before?
No big deal so long as they're really bisexual and not, like, trying to suppress their true nature which is lesbian or transexual. Figure yourself out before you try to be with someone else.
if they've had an affair with someone who was married?
Dumb mistake but they happen. Hope you're over it before you try to go out with me.
if they've taken on multiple people at once during sex?
Eh, how drunk were you? If it was a regular occurrence you hope to continue experiencing, then no, probably not going to work out with me. I'm the possessive type. No sharesies, thanks.
if they are a virgin but have sucked countless and countless dicks before they met wonderful you?
Hypocritical, really, but I guess it's good she has some kind of values? "Countless and countless" dicks (this reminds me of Clerks...) is still pretty slutty so I'd be iffy about hitting that.
and would you even want to know?
Absolutely. In spite of what people say about the past being the past, your tendencies show what kind of a person you are. What you do shapes who you are. I'd want to know everything I could to judge whether or not I'm really compatible with her. If I'm with someone I want to know everything about them that I can. It frankly amazes me how many people are with people they know next to nothing about.
As I said before, these are generalities. The way people react differs from person to person, so the way I'd react to someone would be different as well. I'm not very partial to people who think nothing of sleeping around with whomever, whenever, be they female OR male, so that'd be a definite consideration. When it comes down to it, though, you follow your heart before your head. Love breaks a lot of rules but it isn't the only thing you need to keep a relationship going.
if they've been with a member of the same sex before?
No big deal so long as they're really bisexual and not, like, trying to suppress their true nature which is lesbian or transexual. Figure yourself out before you try to be with someone else.
if they've had an affair with someone who was married?
Dumb mistake but they happen. Hope you're over it before you try to go out with me.
if they've taken on multiple people at once during sex?
Eh, how drunk were you? If it was a regular occurrence you hope to continue experiencing, then no, probably not going to work out with me. I'm the possessive type. No sharesies, thanks.
if they are a virgin but have sucked countless and countless dicks before they met wonderful you?
Hypocritical, really, but I guess it's good she has some kind of values? "Countless and countless" dicks (this reminds me of Clerks...) is still pretty slutty so I'd be iffy about hitting that.
and would you even want to know?
Absolutely. In spite of what people say about the past being the past, your tendencies show what kind of a person you are. What you do shapes who you are. I'd want to know everything I could to judge whether or not I'm really compatible with her. If I'm with someone I want to know everything about them that I can. It frankly amazes me how many people are with people they know next to nothing about.
As I said before, these are generalities. The way people react differs from person to person, so the way I'd react to someone would be different as well. I'm not very partial to people who think nothing of sleeping around with whomever, whenever, be they female OR male, so that'd be a definite consideration. When it comes down to it, though, you follow your heart before your head. Love breaks a lot of rules but it isn't the only thing you need to keep a relationship going.
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Honestly, I don't care, as long as, like was mentioned above, my partner does not have any communicable diseases.
I want my partners to be able to tell me about their previous experiences, so I know what they are interested in, what they like, and what they don't like, but I always try to make sure not to judge their experiences or lack thereof. I also want my partners to be able to not judge me on my sexual experiences, which, frankly, look like a kink checklist. XD If they can't deal with that, we are probably incompatible and I drop them faster than a hot potato.
I want my partners to be able to tell me about their previous experiences, so I know what they are interested in, what they like, and what they don't like, but I always try to make sure not to judge their experiences or lack thereof. I also want my partners to be able to not judge me on my sexual experiences, which, frankly, look like a kink checklist. XD If they can't deal with that, we are probably incompatible and I drop them faster than a hot potato.
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Past is the past so long as there are no bugs, STDs/STIs, or stalking/still-in-love-with exes around.
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luinthoron
High Priest of Loli
Have to agree with the majority here. As long as she honestly wants to be with me and only me now, it doesn't matter what she has or hasn't done in the past.
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gizgal wrote...
Past is the past so long as there are no bugs, STDs/STIs, or stalking/still-in-love-with exes around.Oh yeah, that too. X_X
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One of the other execs I work together with very closely once used to be a sort of entertainment manager for a russian oligarch (the contemporary owner of the NJ Nets).
During this stint, he had drunken intercourse with so many women, including unprotected sex (and protected sex where the condom tore) with scores of prostitutes, that he used to have a panick-AIDS-test every week.
Nowadays, he's settled down, but (or so he confided) dares not sleep with his girlfriend, for fear of being diseased and the tests being false negatives and thus him running the risk of infecting her.
THAT is too much.
During this stint, he had drunken intercourse with so many women, including unprotected sex (and protected sex where the condom tore) with scores of prostitutes, that he used to have a panick-AIDS-test every week.
Nowadays, he's settled down, but (or so he confided) dares not sleep with his girlfriend, for fear of being diseased and the tests being false negatives and thus him running the risk of infecting her.
THAT is too much.
