How to be a little more dominant? (Female)

My fiance and I are interested in me trying out a little femdom play...mostly just orgasm denial and the kind of talk that goes with it.

Now here's the problem. I am completely and wholeheartedly submissive in every kind of way. It's my true nature, and I love knowing that my fiance has complete and total control over me. I love it when he ties me up and uses me for his pleasure.

So how in the hell do I turn that all around and become a little more dominant without laughing in the process? I've tried the whole "you're being a bad boy" kind of talk...and burst out laughing merely seconds later.

If any of you can give me some links to guides on male orgasm denial, and just general femdom stuff, that'd be great!

I'd like to avoid the stuff that goes into "female superiority" though....that's just too far for our tastes, and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to pull that off. Thanks!

Well, my gf is pretty dominant by herself, so I can give you some insight on that :P

Be the one leading the pace of action, for instance if she is giving me an handjob sometimes she just goes like: "don't you dare cumming right now or you will be doing this alone for at least one whole month!"

It's just an example and works fine for me regarding orgasm "denial", few days ago she made me orgasm incredibly hard without making me ejaculate, we were going at it, she was top and I told her I was about to cum and she just said :"oh, don't you dare cum right now, I won't forgive you that!", so I just stopped and kept it in, even though I still orgasmed :P (was one of the strongest I've ever had in my whole life, actually XD)

Hope I helped in some way :P

You don't always have to be talking, but if you're having trouble with it you can always just say what you just did, say what you’re doing, and say what you’re going to do.



This post might be able to help you out, along with the blog as a whole.

http://delvingintodeviance.com/2012/07/28/advice-for-a-vanilla-woman-whose-boyfriend-wants-her-to-dominate-him/

Read manga. Like Kaichou no Iinari Look at the first couple comments lol.

I'm right there with you. The whole 'you're being such a ba- ... hur hur -snort-'.

._. The only thing I know is that I hate weak, submissive guys. Do you? If you do, maybe you could draw on that? And basically, punish him for being a terrible dom?

Just be more aggressive.
Slap him around a bit, mark him up (like digging your nails into him), bite him hard, let him know that he's your bitch right now.

You kinda have to have that aura of dominance about you and have that look as well. But if you're as submissive as you say, that may be difficult.
Why not just do to him what you like having done to yourself? That may be a good way to start.

Well....I don't particularly hate weak guys, but I'm not exactly fond of them either. Had a few ex-boyfriends that weren't very good at putting their foot down, and I got irritated with it.

Simply put, I love a man who can be gentle, but not one who will be my little bitch and do everything I want. I want him to put me in my place now and then ;3;

Oh, and my man is FAR from a terrible dom.




How is this an aura of dominance from me? ;_;

I guess I'm just worried that my self-proclaimed semi-moe appearance and my short height are just two strikes against me.....third strike would be my complete submission to him, lol.



^ Definitely the easiest course of action.

I was thinking that I'd dress up (corset, garter, panties, stockings, heels?), tie him to our futon in the living room (or rather, the frame), while I'd sit on a bar stool and tease him with my feet for a bit since he has a foot fetish...something else....and then when we fuck, I'll top and just stop before he cums. Rinse repeat until he's begging me to let him cum?

I don't know :v

As excellent as that strategy is on paper... no offence girl, but I think that's going to be easier said than done for you. XD

oh god I know ;_;
It's just so hard to be "mean" to him and to NOT give him whatever he wants, when he wants it...am I just in love or am I an enabler? lol

Mmmm... both. Thankfully, I'm now led to believe your man can be cooperative during sex too. So here's to hoping that whatever he wants entails you to drive him crazy while he's helpless.

Also, I would like to add this: trust yourself.

Yes, it can be difficult at the beginning, but if you trust yourself and believe your little "acting" (if I can call it like it) he'll sense it and both of you can enjoy it. Also, don't forget about your own pleasure and don't try too hard, you can go little by little. Asking here is a great step and looking forward on the internet about sexual domination is a great way to, again, gain confidence by knowing what you're doing. And don't think that you're alone in your case.

-man i sounded like a... psychologue or something?-

Looks don't play that huge of a part here. When I say aura I'm referring to not being nice and giving cheerful expressions. If you're trying to dom you need to be agressive. Act it, feel it, be it.

Why, it just means she wants to have more fun :P