I can't get a reading on this girl
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I sit next to this beautiful/ hot girl in my Japanese 101 class and now I'm sort of tutoring her. And I kinda sorta have a crush on her...
We had talked before, in the hallways, in class before sensei(and she is japanese, not just being a wiabou) arrived, and even prepared test scores. Recently she's been slacking and talking to me during class, which I thought was cool for her grade-wise because we're both decent at Japanese. Then she started showing me funny things her friends have sent her via facebook or textmessage or whatever on her phone (I'm pretty bad with technology). Next thing I know, she's asking if I can help her study and she asks for my number.
We then meet up the next day and proceed to study for 5 hours straight!!! She even invited me into her dormroom for tea and offered me food. All good host things, so I thought nothing of it at the time. But the 5 hours flew by and it seemed like no time at all, and the next day in class she asked if we could do it again.
We scheduled for thursday, but I got called into work so I reschedueled for saturday and invited another friend who had missed quite a few classes. It went great (she baked for us) and eventually my friend had to go, and I walked him to his car (typical thing for me and him, I smoke and talk to him out there). She invited me back to help me with a Creative Writing project even though she had told me she had to be somewhere in 30 minutes. She liked my project (so she says) and we scheduled ANOTHER study session tomorrow (with all of us) at 7amish with me hanging out with for like an hour before my friend shows up.
I feel that she's being far to accommodating for my schedule (which revolves around the bus system). This could be because she (fingers crossed) she's sort of into me. Or, it could be because she really needs my brain (I'm one of the best in the class). I'm tryin not to get my hopes up because I probably won't have any classes with her next semester, so no reason to hang out with her. A little info about me, I can talk to just about anyone but I too shy to hang out with people (like scheduling something that is not academically beneficial or monetarily etc.) Sorry this is so damn long, I really need an outside opinion on this, so any thoughts at all are appreciated.
We had talked before, in the hallways, in class before sensei(and she is japanese, not just being a wiabou) arrived, and even prepared test scores. Recently she's been slacking and talking to me during class, which I thought was cool for her grade-wise because we're both decent at Japanese. Then she started showing me funny things her friends have sent her via facebook or textmessage or whatever on her phone (I'm pretty bad with technology). Next thing I know, she's asking if I can help her study and she asks for my number.
We then meet up the next day and proceed to study for 5 hours straight!!! She even invited me into her dormroom for tea and offered me food. All good host things, so I thought nothing of it at the time. But the 5 hours flew by and it seemed like no time at all, and the next day in class she asked if we could do it again.
We scheduled for thursday, but I got called into work so I reschedueled for saturday and invited another friend who had missed quite a few classes. It went great (she baked for us) and eventually my friend had to go, and I walked him to his car (typical thing for me and him, I smoke and talk to him out there). She invited me back to help me with a Creative Writing project even though she had told me she had to be somewhere in 30 minutes. She liked my project (so she says) and we scheduled ANOTHER study session tomorrow (with all of us) at 7amish with me hanging out with for like an hour before my friend shows up.
I feel that she's being far to accommodating for my schedule (which revolves around the bus system). This could be because she (fingers crossed) she's sort of into me. Or, it could be because she really needs my brain (I'm one of the best in the class). I'm tryin not to get my hopes up because I probably won't have any classes with her next semester, so no reason to hang out with her. A little info about me, I can talk to just about anyone but I too shy to hang out with people (like scheduling something that is not academically beneficial or monetarily etc.) Sorry this is so damn long, I really need an outside opinion on this, so any thoughts at all are appreciated.
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ToyManC
Forgot my safe word
My suggestion is to try inviting her over to your place to study. If she agrees, then she probably has some interest in you, beyond studying. To invite you to her place is one thing, because she has all the power in her own environment, but if she accepts your invitation then it shows she is probably willing to see you under different circumstances.
If she accepts, take it slow, for you don't want to frighten her off or put out the wrong signals. Be as good a host as she was, but try to find some to show your regard for her without putting any pressure on her, like providing some special treat or beverage.
If she accepts, take it slow, for you don't want to frighten her off or put out the wrong signals. Be as good a host as she was, but try to find some to show your regard for her without putting any pressure on her, like providing some special treat or beverage.
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...even if I still live with my parents?...I know that I'm too old for that but the economy sucks, and I couldn't picture living with any of my friends. Do you think it would be an alright idea even if I'm a bit of a loser in that regard?
other than that it's a perfect suggestion, one I wouldn't have thought of as a test. Thanks
other than that it's a perfect suggestion, one I wouldn't have thought of as a test. Thanks
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ToyManC
Forgot my safe word
It is not so unusual for students to still live with their parents, and it would give her a view of your home life as well, unless you are unsure you want to share that at this stage.
If your grades are so good that she looks to you for help, then she will know that you should have good prospects once you graduate.
If inviting her home bothers you, then suggest studying somewhere like a local cafe where you can establish a more intimate (date-like) atmosphere.
If your grades are so good that she looks to you for help, then she will know that you should have good prospects once you graduate.
If inviting her home bothers you, then suggest studying somewhere like a local cafe where you can establish a more intimate (date-like) atmosphere.
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the thing about the grades...she was actually doing better than me until the last test. (and technically the one before that because she admitted she copied off of my notes I put under the desk) but she's been asking questions that go back to the beginning of the class... well anyway tomorrows the final, and she's taking Japanese at another school next semester so tomorrow is the last legitimate excuse to hang out with her.
I'm sort of wondering if it would be too forward to hang out in situations that have nothing to do with Japanese. But, like I said before, I find it hard to ask even a new friend to hang out without offering so sort of benefit... I'm akwardish and sort of shy
I'm sort of wondering if it would be too forward to hang out in situations that have nothing to do with Japanese. But, like I said before, I find it hard to ask even a new friend to hang out without offering so sort of benefit... I'm akwardish and sort of shy
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Being accommodating to your time doesn't sound too odd to me since that is just basic consideration (plus if you are tutoring her that seems a logical thing to do even more so.) What I do find odd is that she is Japanese and doesn't speak the language yet o-o, all of my friends who are Japanese were pretty much taught as a kid to speak the language so I guess it is kinda odd for me.
I personally think you might be reading into it a bit much but that is just me. Studying together =/= being interested romantically.
日本語をよã勉強ã—ã¦ãã ã•ã„ã。 å›ã¯æ‹æ„›ã«ã¤ã„ã¦ä½•ã¨ã‹ãªã‚‹ã‚ˆã€‚ <--- Have fun translating that. Also, I make no claims to it being perfect, I'm a pretty average student in Japanese but it is fun. Mistakes are part of the learning experience.
I personally think you might be reading into it a bit much but that is just me. Studying together =/= being interested romantically.
日本語をよã勉強ã—ã¦ãã ã•ã„ã。 å›ã¯æ‹æ„›ã«ã¤ã„ã¦ä½•ã¨ã‹ãªã‚‹ã‚ˆã€‚ <--- Have fun translating that. Also, I make no claims to it being perfect, I'm a pretty average student in Japanese but it is fun. Mistakes are part of the learning experience.
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The girl wasn't japanese, my Japanese teacher is from japan, I called her Sensei but didn't want to seem like a weeaboo or something like that (she insists we call her sensei and it stuck.) The part about study =/= romantic is completely true and I going to have to continue to act like I'm not interested and neither is she. All in the interest of saving face of course.
As for the translating, I said I was the best in my class, but that's not saying much, lol. And its still my first semester.
The most complicated sentence I can make is useless. Ano nakigoe ha yuube boku no inu ja na katta desu. Ashita watshitachi ha sanji ni gorai nihongo oh benkyoushimasu.
If I did that right the two sentences should say; As for that noise last night, my dog it was not. Tomorrow as for we, for about 3 hours japanese will study. thats a literal translation right?
As for the translating, I said I was the best in my class, but that's not saying much, lol. And its still my first semester.
The most complicated sentence I can make is useless. Ano nakigoe ha yuube boku no inu ja na katta desu. Ashita watshitachi ha sanji ni gorai nihongo oh benkyoushimasu.
If I did that right the two sentences should say; As for that noise last night, my dog it was not. Tomorrow as for we, for about 3 hours japanese will study. thats a literal translation right?
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An update, didn't ask her out, didn't really do much but study. I guess Yanari had a fair point (I hope I read the katakana right) I'm going to see if I can keep the study group together next semester, if only for the purpose of grades
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COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
...even if I still live with my parents?...I know that I'm too old for that but the economy sucks, and I couldn't picture living with any of my friends. Do you think it would be an alright idea even if I'm a bit of a loser in that regard?other than that it's a perfect suggestion, one I wouldn't have thought of as a test. Thanks
If that's too embarrassing for you to show right away, then offer up an option to do something non-academic elsewhere. Coffee/snack at a cafe, go to local attraction/exhibit/show, etc.
Ask if she's up for it, then if you wanna gauge her feelings on you in regards to the type of rendezvous you'll be having, end your planning with: "So, then, it's a date?" (even end it on a bit of a silly/nervous note if you don't want to sound super serious about the fact YOU want it to be a date, if that makes sense?).
Could work. :)
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might try that somewhere down the line, pretty smooth with the "so then, it's a date?" Right now I'm going to see if she'll talk to me over the Christmas break at all. That seems like a pretty good test, right? Too see if I could be more than someone to help them with their japanese. I think baby steps are where it should be...or I could just be being cowardly
one other semi relative not I might not have mentioned, is that she's really really really hot, and I, sadly, am rather fat, but maybe a six on looks. My personalities not bad though (if I don't say so myself). It's quite intimidating to talk to her about herself, what with the gorgeousness and all. any tips in that area?
one other semi relative not I might not have mentioned, is that she's really really really hot, and I, sadly, am rather fat, but maybe a six on looks. My personalities not bad though (if I don't say so myself). It's quite intimidating to talk to her about herself, what with the gorgeousness and all. any tips in that area?
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COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
one other semi relative not I might not have mentioned, is that she's really really really hot, and I, sadly, am rather fat, but maybe a six on looks. My personalities not bad though (if I don't say so myself). It's quite intimidating to talk to her about herself, what with the gorgeousness and all. any tips in that area?
You might be surprised to learn that a lot of really hot girls actually DON'T get asked out at all, because people assume they're out of their league or they are already taken. Best mode of operation is to just treat her like she is a regular person, and not focus so much on her being "hot". Even if you don't match her in attractiveness, I'm sure you still have a lot to offer, and you need to go about things with that confidence behind you.
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日本語をよã勉強ã—ã¦ãã ã•ã„ã。 å›ã¯æ‹æ„›ã«ã¤ã„ã¦ä½•ã¨ã‹ãªã‚‹ã‚ˆã€‚ <--- Have fun translating that. Also, I make no claims to it being perfect, I'm a pretty average student in Japanese but it is fun. Mistakes are part of the learning experience.[/quote]
all I got out of that was "japan" direct object marker, Often, and I can read the last part but it's a verb i don't know or a conjugation I don't know. It's not the conjugation for to want to do something is it? like tabetai desu?
all I got out of that was "japan" direct object marker, Often, and I can read the last part but it's a verb i don't know or a conjugation I don't know. It's not the conjugation for to want to do something is it? like tabetai desu?
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HappyDia01 wrote...
[quote="COOKIES4LIFE"]one other semi related detail I might not have mentioned, is that she's really really really hot, and I, sadly, am rather fat, but maybe a six on looks. My personalities not bad though (if I don't say so myself). It's quite intimidating to talk to her about herself, what with the gorgeousness and all. any tips in that area?
You might be surprised to learn that a lot of really hot girls actually DON'T get asked out at all, because people assume they're out of their league or they are already taken. Best mode of operation is to just treat her like she is a regular person, and not focus so much on her being "hot". Even if you don't match her in attractiveness, I'm sure you still have a lot to offer, and you need to go about things with that confidence behind you. [/quote
Thanks for the advice and ego boost. I'm probably going to ask her if she wants to see the hobbit, unless that seems too nerdy... LOTR and what not is almost mainstream now, right?
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COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
Thanks for the advice and ego boost. I'm probably going to ask her if she wants to see the hobbit, unless that seems too nerdy... LOTR and what not is almost mainstream now, right?
Ermmm... Not exactly. I would ask her what movies she is interested in seeing, and then go with whatever she suggests. Perhaps Rise of the Guardians or Wreck-It Ralph?
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HappyDia01 wrote...
COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
Thanks for the advice and ego boost. I'm probably going to ask her if she wants to see the hobbit, unless that seems too nerdy... LOTR and what not is almost mainstream now, right?
Ermmm... Not exactly. I would ask her what movies she is interested in seeing, and then go with whatever she suggests. Perhaps Rise of the Guardians or Wreck-It Ralph?
both seem light and comical, that's what i should be going for. Gotta keep in mind that it's potentially a first date, and the hobbit might not exactly be first date material.. any thoughts on how females interpret group first dates? I have a feeling it could be seen as cowardly..
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COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
You might be surprised to learn that a lot of really hot girls actually DON'T get asked out at all, because people assume they're out of their league or they are already taken.
Huh..in my experience they were all taken lololol. Not that I think I'm aiming that high(I probably am aiming too high). I might find it a bit difficult to find a girl who would be my friend, much less one that likes me/will put up with me for various reasons, all of which I don't feel like disclosing.
Besides that I usually take an indifferent stance on how some women look when I am around any friends/family. I don't exclaim "she's cute!" or "she's hot" very often, I can make a passing comment I guess agreeing with other people who say such things but I don't feel like I mean it half the time. Not because they aren't good looking, its just that I often feel that not really knowing the person really just hinders any sort of attraction because I guess personality is important.
Its when they are good looking and I know them that it becomes a problem because I'm shy and stuff =/ I'm better than I was four years ago with actually talking. But still, having such a trait isn't really good for me as a guy I think seeing as the expectations of most people remain true.
But back to the original topic, I've found that most women who are attractive are taken. And I usually find out either by asking, them being over talkative about it, or by hearing it from somewhere else...I take mental notes of many things I hear ok? Hopefully that works out in my favor in any future relationship lol jokingly of course. Passing by ?! you wanted to do/get _____ thing for the holidays? Well ok!
And derp...I wrote a long post again.
日本語をよã勉強ã—ã¦ãã ã•ã„ã。 å›ã¯æ‹æ„›ã«ã¤ã„ã¦ä½•ã¨ã‹ãªã‚‹ã‚ˆã€‚
ã«ã»ã‚“ã” を よã ã¹ã‚“ãょã†ã€€ã—ã¦ã€€ãã ã•ã„ã。 ãã¿ã€€ã¯ã€€ã‚Œã‚“ã‚ã„ ã«ã€€ã¤ã„ã¦ã€€ãªã‚“ ã¨ã€€ã‹ã€€ãªã‚‹ã€€ã‚ˆã€‚
Please study japanese language well ok? With regards(concerning) romance/love I'm sure it'll work out.
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623
FAKKU QA
セナリオ wrote...
And I usually find out either by asking, them being over talkative about it, or by hearing it from somewhere else...I take mental notes of many things I hear ok? Hopefully that works out in my favor in any future relationship lol jokingly of course. Passing by ?! you wanted to do/get _____ thing for the holidays? Well ok!I take a lot of mental notes too of things they either say or I overhear (I overhear a lot of things). It might seem a tiny bit creepy to be logging info about someone, but, in the long run, it really helps in saving face or knowing what to say to that person.
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COOKIES4LIFE wrote...
both seem light and comical, that's what i should be going for. Gotta keep in mind that it's potentially a first date, and the hobbit might not exactly be first date material.. any thoughts on how females interpret group first dates? I have a feeling it could be seen as cowardly..
I think it isn't necessarily horrible, but it is going to kill the date vibe really quickly no matter what. In this situation, it'd be better to just man up and invite her for a date alone. You already have a little slack with going to the movies - there is no real need to talk there and it'll ease the mood a bit - so you really only have to focus on conversation during dinner, and you have an automatic topic by discussing what you both liked about the movie you just saw. Another tip, don't talk about class that much on your date! You want to have her start viewing you as an entity that doesn't just exist for the sole purpose of Japanese lessons, and begin to explore what both of you like outside of that. First dates are really like interviews. You want to learn more about each other in order to see if you have enough similar interests to form a relationship on. So, having other people is a distraction, and it'll make her think of you less as a potential boyfriend and more as a friend.
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gotta scrap this one, turns out she was not interested. I sent her a text asking what she was doing during the holidays, and she said nothing, what about me. I said I was hosting a Mondu New years party and that she was invited if she was free. She hasn't reponded in 6 hours, so I'm assuming it's a "No, and I don't even wanna think about it you creep, you don't even deserve an answer"
I only invited her outta common courtesy to be honest. you can't talk about a party your hosting if you don't invite the person you're talking to about it. Honestly its whatevs. she was hot and smart, but most importantly, not interested.
I only invited her outta common courtesy to be honest. you can't talk about a party your hosting if you don't invite the person you're talking to about it. Honestly its whatevs. she was hot and smart, but most importantly, not interested.