IRL s/m relationship : plausible?

Well, yeah just asking something randomly. But just to the fact that it's a kinda relationship anyways so i post it here.

So... my term of a s/m relationship goes into the topic of "submissive" and "dominant" kind of thing. You guys is being one of em in bed right now, but what about extreme kinda stuff? like, chains hand cuffs, floggers etc.etc. and with the dominant telling you around or, you, as the dominant, commands your submissive?

Have you ever been in one of those stuff? Have you ever seen one? What's your view on the subject?

We get it.

I personally haven't been in one, nor do I see the appeal of being chained up and tortured sexually. But that kind of stuff does get people off. Whatever floats their goat, really.

Yes they're plausible. and yes people are in them both online and offline. If you're curious about it, I suggest looking for a Gorean or two and talking to them about their relationships.

Its not uncommon to play around a bit, using props, outfits, role-playing etc. Yes I have, I was surprised by her wanting spankings, our comfort levels grew from there after I learned how much she liked it, because at first I was hesitant.

"Somewhere between 15% and more than 50% of women are masochistic and the trait merges with a woman's traditional desire to be "swept off her feet," implying submission to symbolic acts of domination by a partner. Among men, the incidence of masochism seems to range from about 10% to 25%, again depending on definition and subject to measuring difficulties. Kinsey estimated that about 10% of all heterosexual couples engage in sadomasochistic games and it may be more common among homosexuals than heterosexuals. Many couples play switch games, alternating dominant and submissive roles."

"Sadists are less common than masochists and, presumably, experience no difficulty finding masochistic partners, though estimates of incidence are hard to find. Five to fifteen percent of men and about 3% of women seem reasonable figures for the trait of being sexually excited by the idea of physically abusing a partner."

http://www.sexandphilosophy.co.uk/oth_sexuality.htm#sec1011

feel free to play around, its not that uncommon =)

I was in one for almost two years. It was awesome. I had a lot of fun.

It's on my wishlist. But the equipment is expensive D:

Well. I like controlling, she like being the sub. I'm a sadist since i like.. drinking her blood. She doesn't care unless i leave a mark where it can be seen. I like rope play... i don't think she into it has much but she like the fact she not in control... rope is kinda rough even though it oiled silk. Cuffs and restraints.

I had this relationship with other people. Some like it.. some don't. Real S&M couples do exist.. most need the relationship to be purely non sex based. I not one of them. I like sex during or after bondage play.

It's not easy being freaky.

the most ive done something is bite someone really hard.

someone has invited me to tie him to a cross and beat the shit outta him in public but thats a we'll see.

Oh god, I wish I could meet a girl who would do that to me!

All the girls I've met are submissive, or find the idea of raping a guy to be "too hardcore" ._.

Unfortunately, I'm plagued with a Jewish background where the only domination they do to me is "financial" domination... That, or it's some weird Christian with a typical Jew&Israel-fetish, who finds sex as a whole repulsive... I'll never understand people like that! (And I'm tired of the Holocaust-pity, thank you very much!)

As for what I want IRL, if possible, I would probably try everything ranging from masochism, to nazi chic, hypnosis, to even drugs (when possible legally!)

I wonder what it's like being chained up and flogged? I certainly wish to try it out!

Luckily for me at least, I actually hear certain recreational drugs and hallucinogens in Canada are actually legal! When I find "the one", I hope to look into it someday...

There is nothing sexier in my opinion than suddenly getting knocked out and waking up helpless and disoriented, at her mercy! =w=

Though, I suppose if you want the full story, spanking is actually one of the things I don't like...

A man of my own kind. The statistics above are somewhat a pity; I haven't found a single girl interested both in me and in D/s stuff. I broke my interest in it to this girl who I have been seeing for a few months now, and she just looked at me funny and called me 'weird'. It's a hard thing, because you can't really force someone to be dominant (what a contradiction!). What's more, the number of girls who are into the 'harder' stuff (drugs, hypnosis, &c.) is probably in the single-digit percent at best.

Aah~, has anyone found a way to get a girl into this kind of stuff? I'm going to a big new school next year, so let's hope.

I would say it is. Of course it is a small subset of people...

I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be interested in trying sometime in my life, though I'm no sadist, I don't like hurting anybody. I don't have a very bad opinion of it. Nana to Kaoru is probably why my opinion of it isn't so bad. Amazume Ryuta makes some good manga, his art took a bit to get used to. You don't normally see ppl's bone structure in manga.

My husband and I have a kinky relationship, and since we are both switches we get to enjoy the best of both worlds.

The most important thing I feel the need to stress with this kind of thing is SAFETY! If you haven't researched the risks, and know how to deal with anything that might happen, emotionally or physically, you need to put that kind of play on hold until you do. The potential for injury is always present in BDSM, even something as simple as a silk tie getting too tight can cause nerve damage to wrists or ankle, so keep these kinds of things in mind when considering new types of play.

It is both parties job to pay attention to whats happening, and when they need to stop, remember tops need to safe-word too from time to time, sometimes they end up in a place they don't want to be just like bottoms do. Communication during this type of thing is incredibly important and vital, just because you have to stop a scene doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong either, sometimes things just don't work out and you need to try again once you get each other in order or shelve the whole thing.
Always start slow with BDSM, you don't want to overwhelm your mind or body with too much at once, and please, please, please, don't ever let anyone do something you haven't negotiated for or talked about. Never negotiate something in the heat of the moment, always do that in a neutral area, and on equal terms.

About the community, ignore anyone who says they are a "true" anything, the idea that submission and domination or even just BDSM in general has to be a certain way for it to be legitimate is bullshit. I have had people tell me I'm doing it wrong because I don't demand being called by a title or revive tributes or let my sub make requests, that I'm doing it wrong, but it works for us, so they can so suck an egg.


As for the things I enjoy?
When I top I'm into shit like orgasm denial, mild CBT, pegging, face sitting, humiliation, bondage, rope work, sensory deprivation, impact play, sensation play, and a few other odds and ends.

When I bottom, I enjoy pet play, cock worship, spankings, bondage, humiliation, suspension, sensation play, and a few other odds and ends.
But this list is always expanding as I learn new things, and it definitely keeps things exciting.


I hope my post has been helpful =3

... cognitive behavioural therapy?

Lol no, Cock and Ball Torture =3

... I think, once I go steady with a girl, I'll stick to classic teasing, punishment and spanking. :|

I promise I'm not that evil, I don't use things like kalis teeth, sounds (don't look that up if you are squeamish btw), or do any impact play with the testicles. I like to induce discomfort, and mild pain, but I would never make my bottom worry they were in fear of actual injury. Though there are guys who are into that lol

Call me a weirdo but after looking them up Kali's Teeth sound like an excellent idea, so long as the girl and I were close enough and it wasn't for a month or something stupid. On the other hand, some of the other things made on that site are genuinely disturbing: there's a ring of some sort which includes a metal tube to be inserted almost all the way down the urethra. Can't say that sounds extremely comfortable or hygenic...

I agree, I'm pretty leery of any kind of urethral play, since it's such a delicate area, but to each his own.