It would be out of pity and not love
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there is this girl/special friend that I pretended to have a relationship with 3 years ago,coz I still haven't had a girlfriend since birth,She liked the idea of helping me out knowing what it's like to have one(calling each other 'baby' and stuff),but after a month I ended it coz I sensed something was wrong,she began taking it seriously,after 3 long years,we met again and confessed her feelings for me,I don't want to break a heart coz I had mine broken 8 times!,it took me a whole day to make a decision and finally I made a closure between us,little did I know that she had a heart problem(it's out of rhythm!)
but if we got to together and I don't love her I know she will go all the way for me ASAP(It was before knowing her condition),
WHICH I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN COZ SHE IS A DEAR FRIEND BUT HARD TO RESIST NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!
so we parted ways again,both agreed not to have any communications until the day she is all healed up,emotionally and physically,
Did I do the right thing or am i nominated for douchebag of the year?
but if we got to together and I don't love her I know she will go all the way for me ASAP(It was before knowing her condition),
WHICH I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN COZ SHE IS A DEAR FRIEND BUT HARD TO RESIST NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!
so we parted ways again,both agreed not to have any communications until the day she is all healed up,emotionally and physically,
Did I do the right thing or am i nominated for douchebag of the year?
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....dafuq.
I did not understand if you DO NOT like her, or you just decided to stay away from her because of her problem o.O
I did not understand if you DO NOT like her, or you just decided to stay away from her because of her problem o.O
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I'm more or less similar to Federico here. Do you not love her, or are you afraid of her condition? I'd like to try and figure it out, but your post is messy. Your capitalization is mostly off and the caps at the end of the sentence are unneeded. You could just use italics instead.
-1
Are you a fag?
-If yes, good for you. Now go look for gay guys instead (and no I'm a straight dude).
-If no, you are a faggot. Grow some balls and man up.
Do you like her?
-If yes, now grow some fucking balls again and go and flirt with her again.
-If no, you are a douchebag. A girl (not including incest) is either a 'girlfriend material' or a friend. There is nothing in between. So choose fag.
-If yes, good for you. Now go look for gay guys instead (and no I'm a straight dude).
-If no, you are a faggot. Grow some balls and man up.
Do you like her?
-If yes, now grow some fucking balls again and go and flirt with her again.
-If no, you are a douchebag. A girl (not including incest) is either a 'girlfriend material' or a friend. There is nothing in between. So choose fag.
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Guys, seriously, chill the fuck out on his grammar. English isn't everyone's first language. And tone down the assholery, yeah? This isn't IB.
Anyways, from the sounds of it, you were afraid to start a relationship with her, because of her heart problem. So, instead of going for it, you thought it best to stay apart till she was better. Truth is, though, that in some cases, conditions like that don't just "go away". Sometimes, they're there to stay.
You choose what you felt might've been better for both of you, either because of a lack of maturity, or a lack of knowledge, or both. Or something else, whatever it may be. Whatever the case, you've made your choice, so stick with it. There really is no "right" answer for something like this, and if you felt it better to stay out of a romantic relationship with her, let it be, and move on till you think you're ready to handle something like this, if at all.
Anyways, from the sounds of it, you were afraid to start a relationship with her, because of her heart problem. So, instead of going for it, you thought it best to stay apart till she was better. Truth is, though, that in some cases, conditions like that don't just "go away". Sometimes, they're there to stay.
You choose what you felt might've been better for both of you, either because of a lack of maturity, or a lack of knowledge, or both. Or something else, whatever it may be. Whatever the case, you've made your choice, so stick with it. There really is no "right" answer for something like this, and if you felt it better to stay out of a romantic relationship with her, let it be, and move on till you think you're ready to handle something like this, if at all.
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Lughost
the Lugoat
Not too clear on the way you feel for this girl.
Do you like her? Do you love her? If not do you think you could come to love her? Do you want to be with her? Are you afraid of being in/getting into a relationship since you've had your heart broken so many times? Are you afraid to date her because of her condition? Did the decision leave you feeling dirty/guilty/bad? Do you feel as if you've wronged her or yourself?
Seems to me that you thought this was the best decision for the both of you, and one that you thought long and hard on. Stand by the decision you've made, but if you feel that you want to be with her some time down the road before "the day she is all healed up,emotionally and physically" then don't hesitate to contact her.
Do you like her? Do you love her? If not do you think you could come to love her? Do you want to be with her? Are you afraid of being in/getting into a relationship since you've had your heart broken so many times? Are you afraid to date her because of her condition? Did the decision leave you feeling dirty/guilty/bad? Do you feel as if you've wronged her or yourself?
Seems to me that you thought this was the best decision for the both of you, and one that you thought long and hard on. Stand by the decision you've made, but if you feel that you want to be with her some time down the road before "the day she is all healed up,emotionally and physically" then don't hesitate to contact her.
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If you don't love her, don't be in a relationship with her. You would be considered a douchebag of the year in my book if you were to go out with her just because she loved you and she had a heart condition. Every good girl a guy who is faithful, devoted, and loving towards her. She shouldn't be the exception just because she has a heart condition. So don't feel bad. You did what you felt was necessary. Maybe one day, you'll look back and might want to talk to her again and from there you can start something new and awesome. For now though, forget bout your heart breaks, her heart condition, and the fact you don't want to hurt anyone. No one goes through life not hurting anyone. Your eventually going to get over the past and her heart condition might never go away. Just remember she's still a lady and like all ladies should be treated equally.
P.S: I also have something similar called heart arrhythmia. If that is her condition, I hope it goes away for her in the future. Mine is predicted to never go away, but the medicines I'm on guarantee I'll be on this earth for awhile. If that's the case for her where she's taking meds,dont count on the condition going away anytime soon..
P.S: I also have something similar called heart arrhythmia. If that is her condition, I hope it goes away for her in the future. Mine is predicted to never go away, but the medicines I'm on guarantee I'll be on this earth for awhile. If that's the case for her where she's taking meds,dont count on the condition going away anytime soon..
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Alex~kun wrote...
Guys, seriously, chill the fuck out on his grammar. English isn't everyone's first language. And tone down the assholery, yeah? This isn't IB.I wasn't talking about grammar, english is not my first language either and I don't bitch about grammar since I kind of understood what he wrote, I really didn't understand what his true feelings are for the girl :/
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Federico wrote...
Alex~kun wrote...
Guys, seriously, chill the fuck out on his grammar. English isn't everyone's first language. And tone down the assholery, yeah? This isn't IB.I wasn't talking about grammar, english is not my first language either and I don't bitch about grammar since I kind of understood what he wrote, I really didn't understand what his true feelings are for the girl :/
My apologies, then.
I was not completely sure what you were referring to, so I presumed you meant his grammar. My bad.
To be fair, I had a hard time getting it to for a second. I had to re-read it a few times to make sure, so it's not like I don't know where you're coming either.
Anyways, sorry.
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Um....Sounds like you are probably distressed but...I kinda feel really bad to say this but I might have to go with your own description of "Douchebag of the year". Leading on somebody isn't cool. And not taking a relationship seriously isn't either.
If you didn't really like her why did you start dating? You said so there but...I find that a flimsy reason to do so. Either way, in that situation I suppose that is the best you could probably do. Closure and trying to be friends. It may work for you, not sure though.
If it were a different situation where you liked her, I don't think her heart condition would matter as much although it might cause a lot of worry. And create some sense of urgency to get it fixed. In general, health problems are things you usually can get through if you like a person enough. The only real time it might be a serious problem is if it is a terminal illness. There really is a no win situation if it is. You go date her for the remaining time and she passes on eventually leaving you sad. Or you don't date her and not only did you hurt a person emotionally but they may not get another chance.
Anyway I'm rambling at this point. Sorry to hear that, next time don't go out with somebody if you aren't serious about being in a relationship. I don't think it is something to joke about.
If you didn't really like her why did you start dating? You said so there but...I find that a flimsy reason to do so. Either way, in that situation I suppose that is the best you could probably do. Closure and trying to be friends. It may work for you, not sure though.
If it were a different situation where you liked her, I don't think her heart condition would matter as much although it might cause a lot of worry. And create some sense of urgency to get it fixed. In general, health problems are things you usually can get through if you like a person enough. The only real time it might be a serious problem is if it is a terminal illness. There really is a no win situation if it is. You go date her for the remaining time and she passes on eventually leaving you sad. Or you don't date her and not only did you hurt a person emotionally but they may not get another chance.
Anyway I'm rambling at this point. Sorry to hear that, next time don't go out with somebody if you aren't serious about being in a relationship. I don't think it is something to joke about.
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I'm with the others. I don't really understand your feelings for this girl.
Cause if you love her, be with her.
If you don't love her, don't pretend to love her or date her out of pity. Its just wrong.
Cause if you love her, be with her.
If you don't love her, don't pretend to love her or date her out of pity. Its just wrong.
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Alex~kun wrote...
Federico wrote...
Alex~kun wrote...
Guys, seriously, chill the fuck out on his grammar. English isn't everyone's first language. And tone down the assholery, yeah? This isn't IB.I wasn't talking about grammar, english is not my first language either and I don't bitch about grammar since I kind of understood what he wrote, I really didn't understand what his true feelings are for the girl :/
My apologies, then.
I was not completely sure what you were referring to, so I presumed you meant his grammar. My bad.
To be fair, I had a hard time getting it to for a second. I had to re-read it a few times to make sure, so it's not like I don't know where you're coming either.
Anyways, sorry.
Sorry guys if my grammar is a bit off, English is not my native language but I try my best.
It's just so hard to describe your feelings in words!
Thank you all for your opinions ^_^
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セナリオ wrote...
next time don't go out with somebody if you aren't serious about being in a relationship. I don't think it is something to joke about.I WILL remember this. Thank you.
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wow it sounds like what my ex bf's problem that led him to cheat. Anyway, if you don't have any feelings for her, don't go for it. You just did the right thing. You wouldn't want to be in a relationship that's raised out of pity. That's just harsh and mean. If you really want this girl, go back and say something. Having a relationship means stepping up and showing your real self to this person.