Marriage/Love before meeting.
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I was just curious to see what some other opinions about this was.
Have you ever fallen in love with someone long distance, before ever meeting them or anything?
Do you think it's possible to be in love with someone without ever seeing them before?
I personally think you can fall in love with someone without meeting/seeing them first hand, I'm also a big believer in loving someones personality.
I don't think you should jump into a marriage with someone you haven't met before though, that's a huge commitment, and even if you feel and know you are in love with them, I think you should experience living with them before moving onto that big step.
What are your thoughts on "rushed marriages" or jumping into a marriage without meeting the person irl.
Have you ever fallen in love with someone long distance, before ever meeting them or anything?
Do you think it's possible to be in love with someone without ever seeing them before?
I personally think you can fall in love with someone without meeting/seeing them first hand, I'm also a big believer in loving someones personality.
I don't think you should jump into a marriage with someone you haven't met before though, that's a huge commitment, and even if you feel and know you are in love with them, I think you should experience living with them before moving onto that big step.
What are your thoughts on "rushed marriages" or jumping into a marriage without meeting the person irl.
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I have once or twice and I know its possible for people to do so using myself and others as an example.
As far as marriages are concerned, I do agree that its a big step and that it should be held off till both have lived with each other. I have seen marriages before where both live in seperate households, but it got to the poin t where they moved in together anyways because why be married and live away from each other?
Now jumping into the marriage without meeting them prior I don't really agree with and its not something I would personally do unless SERIOUSLY convinced that it was somehow the right course of action. Even then, I'd still be skeptical. But why should that stop other people from doing it? Its their life.
As far as marriages are concerned, I do agree that its a big step and that it should be held off till both have lived with each other. I have seen marriages before where both live in seperate households, but it got to the poin t where they moved in together anyways because why be married and live away from each other?
Now jumping into the marriage without meeting them prior I don't really agree with and its not something I would personally do unless SERIOUSLY convinced that it was somehow the right course of action. Even then, I'd still be skeptical. But why should that stop other people from doing it? Its their life.
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Maeve wrote...
I have once or twice and I know its possible for people to do so using myself and others as an example.As far as marriages are concerned, I do agree that its a big step and that it should be held off till both have lived with each other. I have seen marriages before where both live in seperate households, but it got to the poin t where they moved in together anyways because why be married and live away from each other?
Now jumping into the marriage without meeting them prior I don't really agree with and its not something I would personally do unless SERIOUSLY convinced that it was somehow the right course of action. Even then, I'd still be skeptical. But why should that stop other people from doing it? Its their life.
Oh no, I do agree with that, my manager and her fiance have never lived together the whole 5 years they've been together and just moved into a house, and it seems to be working out. They've atleast been around each other more than once, and know how each other acts.
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it either, even if I firmly believed they were the one. I'm not saying people who do it are dumb, not at all, sometimes it does work out perfectly in the end, I just don't think it's a good idea either, and wanted to know if others agreed.
:)
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It's a tricky tight rope to walk. When you're online, there are no boundaries and concepts of shame, so you can completely be yourself. Or, you can be a manipulative sociopath.
Of course you can fall in love without meeting someone - you're still talking. There's nothing to do but talk. You can open up. You can be emotionally vulnerable. As far as relationships go... it takes a huge amount of trust. They could be leading a double life. Because you can't see them, you have no idea if they are who they say they are, if you're really their only one. It's a huge matter of faith. Even then, the statistical probabilities, as far as LDRs go, have it in favor that it won't work out.
LDRs only work if the result is being together physically. Even then, it's highly inadvisable that the long-distance part carry on for very long. You pine. You hurt. You feel lonelier than if you weren't in love with anyone at all. It's extremely common to stray, just to cover the ache.
As far as marriage goes... I don't support it unless you've been together for a -very- long time. At least 5 years. At least LIVING TOGETHER for 5 years. The longer you live together, and the more seasons of life you go through together, the better. Marriage is a for-better-or-worse commitment - you need to be absolutely sure you can honor it. The best way to be certain, is to actually do it before you make the promise.
Of course you can fall in love without meeting someone - you're still talking. There's nothing to do but talk. You can open up. You can be emotionally vulnerable. As far as relationships go... it takes a huge amount of trust. They could be leading a double life. Because you can't see them, you have no idea if they are who they say they are, if you're really their only one. It's a huge matter of faith. Even then, the statistical probabilities, as far as LDRs go, have it in favor that it won't work out.
LDRs only work if the result is being together physically. Even then, it's highly inadvisable that the long-distance part carry on for very long. You pine. You hurt. You feel lonelier than if you weren't in love with anyone at all. It's extremely common to stray, just to cover the ache.
As far as marriage goes... I don't support it unless you've been together for a -very- long time. At least 5 years. At least LIVING TOGETHER for 5 years. The longer you live together, and the more seasons of life you go through together, the better. Marriage is a for-better-or-worse commitment - you need to be absolutely sure you can honor it. The best way to be certain, is to actually do it before you make the promise.
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Lollikittie wrote...
It's a tricky tight rope to walk. When you're online, there are no boundaries and concepts of shame, so you can completely be yourself. Or, you can be a manipulative sociopath.Of course you can fall in love without meeting someone - you're still talking. There's nothing to do but talk. You can open up. You can be emotionally vulnerable. As far as relationships go... it takes a huge amount of trust. They could be leading a double life. Because you can't see them, you have no idea if they are who they say they are, if you're really their only one. It's a huge matter of faith. Even then, the statistical probabilities, as far as LDRs go, have it in favor that it won't work out.
LDRs only work if the result is being together physically. Even then, it's highly inadvisable that the long-distance part carry on for very long. You pine. You hurt. You feel lonelier than if you weren't in love with anyone at all. It's extremely common to stray, just to cover the ache.
As far as marriage goes... I don't support it unless you've been together for a -very- long time. At least 5 years. At least LIVING TOGETHER for 5 years. The longer you live together, and the more seasons of life you go through together, the better. Marriage is a for-better-or-worse commitment - you need to be absolutely sure you can honor it. The best way to be certain, is to actually do it before you make the promise.
I completely agree with the LDR thing, I was in an off and on long distance relationship, but I knew him pretty well before we got together, and we had originally met in person and spent time together, oh but what a change in personality, he was completely two faced. So I don't trust LDR's anymore, but for some it does work out.
"You feel lonelier than if you weren't in love with anyone at all." Tis the truth.
As for marriage, I do agree, it's best if you live with your partner for a few years atleast before marriage, so that you two really get to know each other from the frontline basically. There's nothing worse than being with someone, rushing into marriage and living with them, and then realizing that they're a slob, or a liar, for example.
Marriage has been made to seem like so little now a days, people should think more before jumping into a commitment so big.
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Never had that experience, but I do think it's entirely possible. Besides, there are a lot cases (mostly im fagbook) where one have never met each other, yet they already in relationship. Hell, my neighbor (woman, 29 yrs old) got married to a man from Holland (41 yrs old, rich businessman) she met in facebook.
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zeroniv_legend wrote...
Never had that experience, but I do think it's entirely possible. Besides, there are a lot cases (mostly im fagbook) where one have never met each other, yet they already in relationship. Hell, my neighbor (woman, 29 yrs old) got married to a man from Holland (41 yrs old, rich businessman) she met in facebook.Why do you not think it's possible?
Also I know what you mean, and I think that kind of stuff is ridiculous, marrying someone you've never met, like really :/.
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SkelliDrops wrote...
zeroniv_legend wrote...
Never had that experience, but I do think it's entirely possible. Besides, there are a lot cases (mostly im fagbook) where one have never met each other, yet they already in relationship. Hell, my neighbor (woman, 29 yrs old) got married to a man from Holland (41 yrs old, rich businessman) she met in facebook.Why do you not think it's possible?
Also I know what you mean, and I think that kind of stuff is ridiculous, marrying someone you've never met, like really :/.
Simple. Because it happened.
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Being someone who originally met her fiance online (lol 4chan), I can definitely say that one can fall in love at a distance. But like Loli said, being apart for too long is extremely tolling, especially when one person starts to fade away. It's tough. It really is. My fiance and I went through some tough times when we were still 2k miles apart from each other...lots of arguments and just generally feeling depressed. We both knew that being physically together would have prevented/solved the problems, so we just worked things out and looked forward to my flight date.
Marriage though, is another story.
I have an aunt who married a guy from Vietnam after knowing him online for a few years. Personally, I think the guy is just out to screw her over and leave once he gets a green card and moves in with her in California. But anyways, her wedding date was a week after she flew to Vietnam, and she said the post-marital sex was really weird and awkward. (They were both virgins but still. :/ ) She's been more stressed than ever after flying back to Cali, and honestly I can't see this working out. At all. Marriage is a serious thing and needs an adult mindset to really understand the implications of it all.
Marriage though, is another story.
I have an aunt who married a guy from Vietnam after knowing him online for a few years. Personally, I think the guy is just out to screw her over and leave once he gets a green card and moves in with her in California. But anyways, her wedding date was a week after she flew to Vietnam, and she said the post-marital sex was really weird and awkward. (They were both virgins but still. :/ ) She's been more stressed than ever after flying back to Cali, and honestly I can't see this working out. At all. Marriage is a serious thing and needs an adult mindset to really understand the implications of it all.
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hiirana wrote...
Being someone who originally met her fiance online (lol 4chan), I can definitely say that one can fall in love at a distance. But like Loli said, being apart for too long is extremely tolling, especially when one person starts to fade away. It's tough. It really is. My fiance and I went through some tough times when we were still 2k miles apart from each other...lots of arguments and just generally feeling depressed. We both knew that being physically together would have prevented/solved the problems, so we just worked things out and looked forward to my flight date. Marriage though, is another story.
I have an aunt who married a guy from Vietnam after knowing him online for a few years. Personally, I think the guy is just out to screw her over and leave once he gets a green card and moves in with her in California. But anyways, her wedding date was a week after she flew to Vietnam, and she said the post-marital sex was really weird and awkward. (They were both virgins but still. :/ ) She's been more stressed than ever after flying back to Cali, and honestly I can't see this working out. At all. Marriage is a serious thing and needs an adult mindset to really understand the implications of it all.
Yeah it is possible to love someone far, it's happened to me, we didn't let things get to serious and now we're best of friends still, but I know the feeling.
Glad to hear things work out for you ^^ congrats on your engagement <3~
See now that is why marriage from a far is bad, that is a big reason, some people will go through long term "commitments" LD just to get into a different country, it's horrible :/. I hope things work out for the best for your aunt.
That's also not touching on the fact that she went to a different country to meet someone, what is something had happened (getting stuck there, threatened,or worse :/). I mean it could work like that both ways, but it's a scary thing.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
Aye I have fallen for people long-distance in the past. The problem is first impressions when you first meet them; will they still feel the same after meeting you? A majority of those I've met face to face didn't feel the same for me afterwards, which has really done a number on my confidence.
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Gravity cat wrote...
Aye I have fallen for people long-distance in the past. The problem is first impressions when you first meet them; will they still feel the same after meeting you? A majority of those I've met face to face didn't feel the same for me afterwards, which has really done a number on my confidence.Yeah that's a big worry when it comes to first meetings and such, that's why I've never taken anything super long distance far, because it's too scary.
Don't let that do anything to your confidence.
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I don't believe you can love someone you have not met in person. My friends have proven this to me on many cases. I believe "love" shouldn't be used until there is a meeting. I have lost friends because I am such a big believer that it cannot happen and each time I have been right and my ex-friend always apologized. Long distance is just tricky in general. Marriage is just a crazy thought. Something I think takes a lot of time to get to that point and definitely have to have time to see if the two can live together.
However, I do believe LDRs can work if the two met first... but, it really depends on the people.
However, I do believe LDRs can work if the two met first... but, it really depends on the people.
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Gravity cat wrote...
Aye I have fallen for people long-distance in the past. The problem is first impressions when you first meet them; will they still feel the same after meeting you? A majority of those I've met face to face didn't feel the same for me afterwards, which has really done a number on my confidence.Babe, I'll still think you're awesome. Besides, if things are awkward, I'll just get you drunk x3
thenhavesexwithyourunconsciousbody. megusta.
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
Lollikittie wrote...
thenhavesexwithyourunconsciousbody. megusta.Awwww but I wanna be awake when you take advantage of my intoxicated self <: