Need some advice
0
Im a (community) college student, 20 years old, had girlfriends before, had sex before, etc etc etc. But recently I've met someone who is on my mind almost to the point of me being obsessed. I'm not attracted to her sexually as much as I have been with past girlfriends. It's just that when we first met, there was a weird moment where our eyes met and things got....I'm not sure how to explain it. Things got brighter, time seemed to slow WAY down, and it felt like there was a reason for us meeting. Since then, I have seen her around the campus and every time she looks at me with those hypnotic eyes.
On a good day, I'm pretty bad at holding a conversation due to my inability to glide from one topic to another. If its a text or a forum chat, I'm fine. But in a real conversation, I feel like I'm always at a loss for words.
I desperately want to talk to this girl, to get to know her, and to become her friend. Getting in a relationship with this girl is not the reason I want to talk with her.
Does anyone have some advice (other than "man up" or "grow some balls and just talk to her", cuz trust me my friends said it) on conversing with people so you don't look like an awkward introvert?
On a good day, I'm pretty bad at holding a conversation due to my inability to glide from one topic to another. If its a text or a forum chat, I'm fine. But in a real conversation, I feel like I'm always at a loss for words.
I desperately want to talk to this girl, to get to know her, and to become her friend. Getting in a relationship with this girl is not the reason I want to talk with her.
Does anyone have some advice (other than "man up" or "grow some balls and just talk to her", cuz trust me my friends said it) on conversing with people so you don't look like an awkward introvert?
0
animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
There no good way on hitting on a conversation without the awkward feelings and mood. It's part of that type of relationships. Try small talking her one day and see how the mood gets. Ask her what she reading or if you know what classes she taking or are in one of those classes ask how the teacher/ work/ is it easy. 9 out of 10 times you get positive reactions. But yeah you have to take a leap and talk. Talking to someone new is weird anyways.
0
Be bold! You're a man (I'm sure you know that, but realize the significance of it). Freaky is right in his idea to initiate conversation, all you need is the push to do it. Stand tall, have confidence and just do it. You can do it! Best of luck.
Edit: I know you said no rah-rah advice, but a little bit of manly encouragement and some confidence building can be helpful.
Also, use being an introvert to your advantage. Being introverted makes you more in touch with yourself, more introducing introspective (goddamned swype correct) and typically it makes you have a better philosophical opinion than most bring that you can objectively watch from the sidelines and observe without prejudice. Girls dig that stuff man.
Edit: I know you said no rah-rah advice, but a little bit of manly encouragement and some confidence building can be helpful.
Also, use being an introvert to your advantage. Being introverted makes you more in touch with yourself, more introducing introspective (goddamned swype correct) and typically it makes you have a better philosophical opinion than most bring that you can objectively watch from the sidelines and observe without prejudice. Girls dig that stuff man.
0
Well I'm sure you're highly exaggerating that first moment because if things got bright you need to go to the hospital, if things slowed down then you have superpowers and I demand to know how you got them. On the subject of the girl however your best bet is to talk to her in short bursts in the beginning, you know simple questions. From there invite her out for lunch or something and then ask her a few questions that allow her to lead the conversation, like where she grew up and how it was and stuff like that.
0
You should just be chill and start with a small chat and then work your way up. I was in that situation but you dont know why you fall for her non-sexually. The problem with this is you dont know the person and why you like her. You should do some analysis of yourself and about her why you are having feelings, it might turned out good or bad.
0
I will give you some advice since I have been in similar situations.
- Don't think too much on what to talk about, it will make encounters more ackward and you might feel you made a fool out of yourself. Instead, try going with the flow.
- A small, simple topic is a good idea. The start of a conversation is always the hard part, studies can be a good topic to start but I prefer involving food (invite her to a quick snack or soft drink) to break some ice and warm up the ambiance.
- The change of topics is not as hard as many think. I suggest you listen more and talk less. You will have questions to ask her about the topic and she may change the topics naturally (as many women do marvelously). It will help you know her and be able to talk about more topics and you can lead as well. when you reach this point, lead and let her lead (keep the balance).
- since you're not attracted to her sexually like with the other girls. I suggest to notice the small details. in college women usually wear things because of a special occasion or are in a mood for the day. conversations may arise from that as well
- Don't think too much on what to talk about, it will make encounters more ackward and you might feel you made a fool out of yourself. Instead, try going with the flow.
- A small, simple topic is a good idea. The start of a conversation is always the hard part, studies can be a good topic to start but I prefer involving food (invite her to a quick snack or soft drink) to break some ice and warm up the ambiance.
- The change of topics is not as hard as many think. I suggest you listen more and talk less. You will have questions to ask her about the topic and she may change the topics naturally (as many women do marvelously). It will help you know her and be able to talk about more topics and you can lead as well. when you reach this point, lead and let her lead (keep the balance).
- since you're not attracted to her sexually like with the other girls. I suggest to notice the small details. in college women usually wear things because of a special occasion or are in a mood for the day. conversations may arise from that as well