[Locked] New GF, New Fetish?

So I have a girlfriend and she and I have been dating for about 2 months.
But she has this fetish that I have never really worked with before.
BDSM, she loves the tying up, gagging, slapping on ass and face, and being called things I have never said to a woman before (Bitch, Slut, etc.)
She loves these things becuase of the trust and care of the DOM and SUB, and it gives her pleasure on another scale than that of normal sex.

While me personally I am all about passion, sure I can be little rough, but typically I like looking into her face, kissing and junk. Sex means alot to me and I only have done it very few women, because it is a trust thing with me as well.

Anyways, I did research learned a few basic ties and such, tied her up during three of our sessions, on the last session I did it with, for some reason I fell into a deep depression afterwards, I felt terrible, like I lost control and just didn't feel right afterwards. She has always told me to only do what I was comfortable with but I decided to keep pushing myself to better please her, for me its doing 100% at everything I do, even in sex.

Should I keep trying? I mean the only time i've made her Climax was when we have had regular sex. Orgasms are a constant thing with her because I am kinda big (8") and she is pretty tight.
But do y'all think I should? I mean I have completely and utterly satisfied her several times within a 4-5 hour time span with only regular sex, (10 min break after every session for cuddles and sandwiches) should I really push myself past my comfort zone to meet her inner desires, or satisfy her to the point she cannot walk for an hour or two with regular sex?

I really do care about her and she cares a whole hell of a lot about me. She's even willing to put up with me being in the Navy and after this Command that I'm in I don't know where I am going, but she plans on staying with me for a long, long time.

I think this is a lot for only two months. I applaud her for being honest to you about her interests from the get-go, but I wonder if you two have truly developed the sense of trust and strong communication that is necessary to have fulfilling experiences with BDSM. However, I'll go ahead and give you some advice.

First off, she is right when she says that you shouldn't push yourself past your comfort zone. I told this to my boyfriend a lot as well, and so we progressed into these sorts of things much slower. By the time we were doing some of the things that I truly liked, he was comfortable enough to take some enjoyment in them as well. But initially he was a vanilla guy who was happy with his basic fantasies, and was often concerned about "hurting me" rather then understanding that this is what I wanted.

You have to detach yourself from thinking that what happens in the bedroom is a direct reflection of what happens outside of it. What you're doing and calling her during sex, you KNOW you would never call her those things in a serious circumstance. She is interested in being humiliated sexually, but outside of sex you and she both know that you respect her 100% as an equal in the relationship. So, don't feel bad at all! If anything, you should be pleased that you're doing your best to satisfy her.

You can take a step back and reel things in a little bit, and go at things a step at a time. However, you shouldn't use your current feelings as motivation to completely withdraw from BDSM. This is obviously something that means a great deal to her, so you shouldn't think that "Well, I satisfy her in other ways, so I don't need to work at this, too." For a lot of people into BDSM, it isn't about climaxing or physical sensation so much as the emotional satisfaction they get out of the role playing scenerio.

It is important for a gentlemen to fulfill the fetish needs of his girlfriend.

And also, it is great news if she openly reveals you her dirty little secret .. that means that she is willing to trust you and let this relationship progress even further.

Don't mess this up, and besides, a little roughening won't hurt your dear partner.

TIP!!!!
Women who reveal their sexual fetish secrets to their partner is one of man's greatest achievements ... the door to endless possibilities is open for you.

I know how you feel. When I was younger, I once shared feelings with a very special person to me. That person, much like your lover wanted more of a dominance that I wasn't quite comfortable with sharing. After all, to me a lover was(and still is), the most precious union/experience, etc you could possibly have. It'll be difficult, but for me I was able to become a Switch(both Dom/sub personalities), and I actually now think that's what we should be anyway. Equally deferring to, and taking the lead with our prospective partner depending on the situation, mood, etc.

It's a difficult transition, and I'll be honest: I still lean mostly submissive, but I can be aggressive and feisty and I can enjoy it. I'm sure you can to :).

This is some amazing advice guys thanks so much.
She isn't displeased with Vanilla though, she loves all sex, but she does like the BDSM stuff a lil more than the rest.
She gets most of her pleasure from pleasing me, is what she told me, thats why she loves fallatio so much.
I don't know still about calling her a slut or whore, I think the farthest I'll ever let myself go is maybe Bitch, I was raised to kinda be a gentleman, I open doors for her, I always pull her chair out for her at restraunts and I just do all the old fashioned things. It's mainly just not in my nature to say things like that to a female.

And yes we have been together for a short time, but she is extremely comfortable with me, she and I just click and we have known that since I first started tlking to her in July. We really just love being around eachother.

Well I think the best medicine is to just talk to her about it and maybe gradually try and get into it. That's the short version anyway.

It's a wonderful thing that she trusts you, but if you're not happy with the way things are make it known or the relationship will suffer down the road. Sometimes putting on a brave face does more harm than good in the long run. If she doesn't know or notice how uncomfortable you seem to be with the idea, she eventually will. When she sites one of two possibilities could come to be, either she blames herself for not noticing sooner or she resents you for nit being honest with her. Make your thoughts known and work out a solution with her instead of with us. She's the one you need to be having this conversion with.

She knows, I was just wondering what other people would do, I assumed that any normal guy would jump on this at the drop of a hat.
But she has made it quite known to me that she is happy with whatever sex we have as long as its with me.

Which I have actually taken a liking to the "We could get caught" sex.
Parking Garages, the bathroom at her parents house, in my shipmates room... Etc.
And of course the remote control wireless vibrator. She and I love that thing a whole hell of a lot, makes any bland evening very very interesting. She slips it in, we go to some boring dinner party, or club.
And then I cum tease her for 3 or 4 hours.

You lucky bastard.

I agree. "We could get caught" sex is fucking amazing. As for the remote control wireless vibrator, I am going to get one someday! SOMEDAY!

Hell yeah I love the excitment from it, I plan on her birthday (this week) taking her out to a park or a wooded area and surprising her.

Oh and Road Head btw.... Is fucking amazing!



Also can I ask y'all a queation, (mainly for females) Is it ok if I hit her Cervix and push it up into her stomach, I mean she says it hurts, I am mainly asking if I need to not put it all the way in anymore?

If she says it hurts, that is enough. Personally, I've experienced this too, and it is NOT a pleasurable feeling. Consistent pressure put on the cervix can cause problems involving infection and/or bruising which can cause the pain to become consistent and need medical attention. So, be careful.

Alright I will be extra careful from now on. Thanks alot!

I'm the passionate, romantic type too. I'd have a hard time doing that torture, whips and chains, stuff. Plus, you don't know when you've gone too far until you've done it, then it's too late. Tuff call.

That's why there is a safe word, you may not stop when she says stop or no but as soon as she yells BANANAS! I think anyone would stop.

Yeah we have safe words, Yellow is "Slow Down" and Red is "STOP".

She is coming down tomorrow to see me, I figured we go on a nice date, (After Cuddle Time, I have 0200-0700 watch tonight and will need a short nap.) Then I would suprise her with some premade knots tied to the Headboard and Foot of my bed. She always gets super wet the second she see's rope :P Wish me luck, cause we should at least go for 2-3 hours, then cuddles a snack and some more sex maybe after we watch a Disney Movie, or start that series "Gravity Falls" Together.

Also , she has always wanted a Collar. So I YouTubed that shit and made her one out of rope myself. It took me a while, but I managed to do it.

You don't need luck if you have rope, also Disney movie after BDSM that's funny as all hell.

So I gave her the Collar, and she instantly was wet with anticipation.
I had planned to get at least 3 hours of sleep before she got here, but she surprised me by showing up at 0745, I was baffled, but even with only around 5 hours accumulated sleep throughout the two days before I was still able to focus on our Sex Date. 8 Times in one day was plenty for me and her combined, the lastgo around I was literally falling asleep as she was riding me, so we stopped and took a hot shower and we cooked dinner (Chicken, peas and carrots, topped with homemade biscuits.) and we watched The Borrower Arrietty.

We just laid in bed and ate junk food and cuddled until around 0130, and she had to leave for home, then I hurried up and went to sleep cause I needed to be up at 0545 for a few things I had to do for work.

Anyways, I don't know. I guess I just like keeping y'all updated with some of this wild shit that we do. She really enjoyed the rope and I kinda got into it too. But I made her climax with regular sex, which so far has been the only way I have been able to make her climax.

This sound good to y'all?

It's starting to feel like this is a bragging thread, and you just want to tell the internet about your crazy sex.

I'm not sure there's more of a point anymore.

You are probably right, I kinda just look towards you guys to tell me whether or not I am doing everything right. How do I take this thread down though?