Pregnant women

Anyone know if it really is common for pregnant women to hate their partners?
My relationship with my 25-week pregnant wife has been very rocky. It's good at the moment, but only just got over a series of very ugly arguements. She thinks I'm immature, and I think she's incapable of showing any respect (and she likes to play the "I'm 6 years older than you" card too). She acts like a tumblr feminist. I'd like to think its all a result of the hormones. It wasn't like this before the pregnancy. But she was pregnant when we moved in together, so it could be that too, or a combination.
All the arguing has made it very difficult, but I still love her.

Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone thinks it'll get easier after my daughter is born. Yeah, having a baby will be difficult (my first, her 4th), but if it is her hormones, will that calm down? After PND anyway, which I will do what I can to help her through.

Sorry but gets a little harder for at least a bit. Pregnancy usually can cause some mood swings (never been pregnant but around a lot of them). Also even when the baby comes it could be better and she may not snap, but with a young child you get sleepless nights. Sleepless nights can mean grumpiness which can lead to some more rockiness. If you really love her you put up with it for the time and eventually that feeling you two had to make a kid will come back. But if you are annoyed with her having first kid you may want to wait some time to make the second.

A guess, for what it can count as.


She's anxious and you don't fit her expectation ?

Never think of a couple problem as if you were out of cause -- since it's a bilateral relationship, it's impossible. Since that, it's up to you whether or not you concentrate your attention on who would be "more" guilty or what. Let me say I think it's a very bad mindset and that can crumble further or even definitely your relation.

As for the age gap, you've put up with it until now, take that trial or definitely withdraw. There is no magic and even the whole hormonal matter won't change back to some idyllical previous situation : you're both going to have that baby, and she will never disappear from your lives, should she die someday (the later the better and if possible after a very happy life).

The way you're speaking sounds as if you were out of cause + denying the irrevocable changes within your lives : you moved together (which means adapation) and you're going to have a new born (which mean adaptation). No offense but believing your life will/would return to some "normal because previous" state is "quite" immature. Get a hold of yourself ! It is not some video game as the Sims and what else where you can let aside your game when you're tired. It's real life.

It is not unfeasible. Just become aware of the situation, more than you presently seem to, and fulfill your duty. She probably did not choose you thinking you're a useless one -- or are you saying she just made the biggest mistake of her life ? Must be hard for you then. You're a man ? So act fittingly.


As for the pregnancy, just think her hormons get completely extreme -- she can as well cry of hapiness for trivial things as also get fep up like hell for trivial matters. Moreover pregnant women are often tired and that make them anxious like hell again. She needs your support, and her other children as well since she's tired. But be careful with her mother instinct : right now it is over stimulated, and it can give you some hard time to take the father role as she may "fight" you to protect her offspring.


Becoming a father is a big trial ; but you love her, her children, and the family you're becoming ; so it's just a trial and not the end of the world. (All of) You have the time of your life to learn from each other and get happy.

I don't remember using the word "normal", if I did that's not what I meant. I don't expect things to be the same again. This child was a decision, and I know how different it makes things.
And I didn't mean for it to sound like she's the only cause. I do know I've made mistakes. But she would say things like only I need to change, not her, not at all.
I do my best to take care of her emotionally. I need to be taken care of too though. My new job has been very stressful and it's been even harder to relax at home.
Like I said though, right now it is better. It's just hard to know if it's temporary.

She feels better right now because she recently was baptized at a Mormon church. I, myself, am strictly atheist but I respect her beliefs and she was happy that I was there for her at the baptism. Her baptism, I think, washed away her negative feelings. Will they come back?

Sleepless nights I can stand. I think.
The stress of taking care of a baby, I know, is more than I could imagine. I can't say anything can fully prepare me, but I feel ready.

Thanks for your input, guys. I know there is no normal to get back to, I just want things to get better. I know they will, because we will have something wonderful to share very soon. We do right now, every time we feel our daughter kick and every time we acquire a new item we need to take care of her (new clothes, crib, car seat, etc.).

No one here think she would be more perfect or out of cause than you. She acts this way probably because she wants or tries to keep control of the situation thus she (somehow like you) searches some "culprit" to blame.

It is not only your trial but also hers as well.

If you both have the resolution to walk together, you will go through lot of moments sometime hard and sometime sweet.




That's the good spirit :-)

Second time she wanted to slit my throat while sleeping. First time THANK GOD I WAS IN HAJISTAND. She still yelled at me during the calls. Women are naturally nuts. just the hormones make them irrationally crazier. Just agree and nod.

I know that pregnant women have a lot of hormones in their body that they're dealing with, in addition to the stress and panic at the thought that they'll soon be pushing out a human from their... nether-regions.

However in my personal experience I've only seen my pregnant friends get into small (frequent) but small arguments. Usually over silly things like "You told me you'd bring home peanut butter and you forgot... why did you forget?!" (true story)

But I'd say if those arguments are ugly you might want to take another look at the relationship and what issues are there, especially before the birth of your child. You should also let her know "Hey, I know you're going through a lot and I couldn't even begin to understand what it's like to have a living human inside me, but could you try and work with me here?"

Because honestly it's hard for you too, you're facing fatherhood and it's definitely easier if your partner and you get along. I couldn't ever see myself saying ugly things to my spouse pregnant, sure I might have emotional episodes, but I would never ever want to say anything hurtful because I just... I dunno... I love him too much and hurting him would hurt me more than it would him.

Your credibility as a decent person in my eyes just went down the toilet when I read that...

Seriously? She's probably thinking of what is best for the kid and future family. Maybe you (and she, for striking out a little) need to do some self reflection on the kind of parental example you want to provide said future child.

If these arguements start up again you will need to find out where all the anger's coming from. If it's just the hormones then luckily for you it's a temporary thing.

GOD I WISHED

Usually it is then, lel

It's probably related to you moving in together either a) all together. Or b) when she was pregnant.
Generally when you move in together, you start to find things about your partner that piss you off, that you never noticed before. This is probably also mixed in with her hormones, making the issues she's finding about 5x worse.

I'd have a talk to her when she's calm (if that's possible) see what it is that making her angry, and then fix it. No point pissing her off more, and starting arguments/ getting you killed.

If she thinks you're immature, she would have given you about 7 different reasons by now, so tell us exactly what she said makes you immature. Odds are, it probably is, and you should invest in looking into it.
Otherwise, she's being crazy, and you should just not do it around her.

Basically; It's not common for them to hate their partners, but it is common for them to get pretty hormonal and want to slap them silly sometimes.
In your case, bad timing, by the sounds of it. That and a bit of whinging about her 'not showing any respect' Grow up, son.
Give her some TLD (tender love & Dick) and she'll probably be happy.