[Locked] Should I go for it?
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So here's my question. There's a girl who evidently wants me, however she's got a kid and lives with here ex-fiance who happens to be the father of that child... I'm not so sure if her personality is exactly what I'm looking for (or even that close to it... I don't mind it, I just don't love it so much). The positive side, dating after a long dry spell, sex (probably, it's not the pinnacle of importance for me, but it has been almost a year), stability (people with children who aren't wildly irresponsible tend to stay in relationships), and the convenience of having a girlfriend. The negative side, LIVING with ex-fiance, CHILD, and the potential problems that could arise from working with her and daging her... If you were me, what would you choose? (By the way I do freight and am a former soldier, plus I frequently get into bar fights, so fighting isn't a concern of mine, just the pain in the ass of dealing with him is my concern)
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I don't think it ever hurts to try. I really hate giving advice but I think that if you think she's nice enough and you won't get insecure that she's living with her ex, then I think you should try and see what happens. I personally wouldn't try though, I'm not very good with those situations. Anyways, tell me what you end up doing. ~
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um... you would live with her ex-fiance? O_o
If you're just looking for sex and nothing more, go ahead, but if you want a nice relationship, you need to find someone else, or find a place to live
If you're just looking for sex and nothing more, go ahead, but if you want a nice relationship, you need to find someone else, or find a place to live
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Tsujoi wrote...
Don't do it.I'd have to agree, don't do it. Although if you really like her then you should follow your heart.
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Lelouch24 wrote...
um... you would live with her ex-fiance? O_oIf you're just looking for sex and nothing more, go ahead, but if you want a nice relationship, you need to find someone else, or find a place to live
I wouldn't be, but she sure as hell isn't moving into my apartment, even if she didn't have a kid. No room in my apartment and my roommate sure as hell wouldn't want a kid ruining around.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
I don't know...I'm getting this nagging feeling that she still likes the guy, in a sense. I wouldn't risk it, if it were me.
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artcellrox wrote...
I don't know...I'm getting this nagging feeling that she still likes the guy, in a sense. I wouldn't risk it, if it were me.Hmmmm... part of me wants to go for it and steal whatever part of her heart he still Hilda'sholds away from him, however starting a relationship based off of winning in some imaginary game honestly makes me feel like an asshole. The fact that once I "win" I'll be bored with it and essentially toss her aside like a spoiled child growing bored with a toy makes me sound like a monster so I'll avoid it... I've gotten my fill of dishing out soul-crushings and I don't want to do it out of habit, that makes me sound even worse.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Then don't do it even more. You're better off bar-hopping and finding a girl that's similar to you.
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artcellrox wrote...
Then don't do it even more. You're better off bar-hopping and finding a girl that's similar to you.To the bar!!! If you're ever in Tampa I'll gladly invite anyone on here and be their wingman.
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Waaaaayyyyyyy too complicated of a situation for you to involve yourself in. When someone becomes a parent, they renounce their ability to date and have flings normally. Just don't bother getting involved until the other guy establishes a stable residence elsewhere. It's hard enough getting involved with someone who has a child and the father is playing an active role -- it's another thing entirely if they're still living together. Oh.. the implications.
For now, just don't.
For now, just don't.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
yeah, as lolli said. i wouldn't get into it.. she lives with the father, despite what she says and how they act, they're probably still either banging, or he has some part of it. No point getting into it, you yourself said you don't like her that much. there, no point getting into it. you wouldn't get much sex, even if you did, it probably would get interrupted or something.
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Sprite wrote...
Can you even/willing to support the child?Can I, yes, do I want to, no. I'll never be able to go to college if I'm stuck supporting a family, especially if fun the child isn't mine.
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Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Can you even/willing to support the child?Can I, yes, do I want to, no. I'll never be able to go to college if I'm stuck supporting a family, especially if fun the child isn't mine.
You just confirmed that you can't support the child. If you want to go to college, why give that up so you can work minimum wage jobs where you get fired every 3-6 months, building up stress which will definitely harm the relationship? Even if there is no guarantee that you'll get a job after college, there is a guarantee that you'll never get anything higher than a stressful minimum wage job if you don't.
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Sprite wrote...
Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Can you even/willing to support the child?Can I, yes, do I want to, no. I'll never be able to go to college if I'm stuck supporting a family, especially if fun the child isn't mine.
You just confirmed that you can't support the child. If you want to go to college, why give that up so you can work minimum wage jobs where you get fired every 3-6 months, building up stress which will definitely harm the relationship? Even if there is no guarantee that you'll get a job after college, there is a guarantee that you'll never get anything higher than a stressful minimum wage job if you don't.
Post #2, I already chose not to anyway, everything else is just affirmation that I made the right choice.
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Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Can you even/willing to support the child?Can I, yes, do I want to, no. I'll never be able to go to college if I'm stuck supporting a family, especially if fun the child isn't mine.
You just confirmed that you can't support the child. If you want to go to college, why give that up so you can work minimum wage jobs where you get fired every 3-6 months, building up stress which will definitely harm the relationship? Even if there is no guarantee that you'll get a job after college, there is a guarantee that you'll never get anything higher than a stressful minimum wage job if you don't.
Post #2, I already chose not to anyway, everything else is just affirmation that I made the right choice.
I know that, I'm just driving it even further into the ground.
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Sprite wrote...
Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Yukito-kun wrote...
Sprite wrote...
Can you even/willing to support the child?Can I, yes, do I want to, no. I'll never be able to go to college if I'm stuck supporting a family, especially if fun the child isn't mine.
You just confirmed that you can't support the child. If you want to go to college, why give that up so you can work minimum wage jobs where you get fired every 3-6 months, building up stress which will definitely harm the relationship? Even if there is no guarantee that you'll get a job after college, there is a guarantee that you'll never get anything higher than a stressful minimum wage job if you don't.
Post #2, I already chose not to anyway, everything else is just affirmation that I made the right choice.
I know that, I'm just driving it even further into the ground.
I appreciate the sentiment, however when I make a choice I tend to stick with it. It's not worth it so I'm passing up the opportunity for the potential of something better later on.