What to do when your relationship is strained?
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So I've been dating this woman for about eight months now. We've had sex about three times a week for the last month, which is decreased by about since the previous seven months it was once a day, 6 times a week. I am working more hours at my job now, since my salary increased from 2100 to 2350, but not so many that it should strain our relationship.
She tells me that I'm making her lonely, but I'm only gone like 2 extra hours of the day, and I still try to spend at least 4-5 hours with her and her alone. I take her out on dates to the movies quite often too, and sometimes to a family restaurant in town. We have fun conversations and make fun of each other during the evenings that we don't, and about 3 days a week, we make love.
So the main point is that my girlfriend say's she's lonely and my work is apparently the cause, so, what should I do about it? A swift reply would be much appreciated, since I have to cook us dinner in a while.
She tells me that I'm making her lonely, but I'm only gone like 2 extra hours of the day, and I still try to spend at least 4-5 hours with her and her alone. I take her out on dates to the movies quite often too, and sometimes to a family restaurant in town. We have fun conversations and make fun of each other during the evenings that we don't, and about 3 days a week, we make love.
So the main point is that my girlfriend say's she's lonely and my work is apparently the cause, so, what should I do about it? A swift reply would be much appreciated, since I have to cook us dinner in a while.
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Sgt.broski
Where's the futa Jacob
I don't think this is SD but I'll be happy to answer your question.
OT: I personally think that if she's lonely countinue what you're doing but the time that you do spend with her, make sure it's always happy and showing alot of affection so she doesn't NTR you because no man can live with a cheating wife unless he doesn't love her or his cheating himself.
Make the best time you have with her so she knows you love her and is working very hard to keep a roof over you guys head.
OT: I personally think that if she's lonely countinue what you're doing but the time that you do spend with her, make sure it's always happy and showing alot of affection so she doesn't NTR you because no man can live with a cheating wife unless he doesn't love her or his cheating himself.
Make the best time you have with her so she knows you love her and is working very hard to keep a roof over you guys head.
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623
FAKKU QA
I'm gonna be blunt--those two only know romance from manga if you can't tell. My take on the situation is that your girlfriend is actually a little clingy. If she's complaining about loneliness over a couple hours a day when you're getting a raise for it, she should respect that, especially if you're in an adult relationship. And if you're spending 4-5 hours a day with her (not sure if that's what you meant), that is more than enough time for a relationship that is only 8 months old. Not to mention you said you take her out often. Many couples only go out once a week or every other week. So I believe the issue is your gf is clingy.
It's difficult to address this problem since you don't want to invalidate her feelings, but you'll have to just talk to her about it. Obviously don't tell her she's clingy, but tell her you're doing your best and the extra hours are helping with your job advancement. She should definitely respect that. At only 8 months, she shouldn't be playing any "job more important than me" cards. That's about all I got.
It's difficult to address this problem since you don't want to invalidate her feelings, but you'll have to just talk to her about it. Obviously don't tell her she's clingy, but tell her you're doing your best and the extra hours are helping with your job advancement. She should definitely respect that. At only 8 months, she shouldn't be playing any "job more important than me" cards. That's about all I got.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
>once a day 6 times a week
>my bitch hasn't fuck me in a week... Once a week if I'm lucky
Cry me a river.
>my bitch hasn't fuck me in a week... Once a week if I'm lucky
Cry me a river.
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623 wrote...
If she's complaining about loneliness over a couple hours a day when you're getting a raise for it, she should respect that, especially if you're in an adult relationship. And if you're spending 4-5 hours a day with her (not sure if that's what you meant), that is more than enough time for a relationship that is only 8 months old. Not to mention you said you take her out often.I agree with this. You're not at fault here, your girlfriend is. It sounds like you've gone above and beyond to meet her (frankly, excessive) need and desire for attention. Rather then you trying to solve the "problem" here, she should be striving for more independence. It isn't normal for someone to be completely and utterly unable to amuse themselves for a few hours without the presence of their significant other. She needs to have things outside of you that make her happy, and goals or hobbies that she focuses on that aren't attached to the relationship. It's okay to enjoy a great deal of time together, but not if it completely consumes her.
Try to word it sensitively though, because there's no REALLY good way to tell someone that you need space without making them panic. However, this is absolutely something that needs to get resolved ASAP. Communicate as honestly and effectively as you can. Best of luck, OP.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
All I'm going to say is, if she pulls the 'it's me or the job' out on you. Keep the job. A good job is way more worth it, As harsh as that sounds.
As 623 said, it sounds like she is a bit clingy. Definitely sounds like it's time to have a chat with her, and I'd also mention how the extra hours will help towards you getting a good house and will help you prepare for a future... if you can word that better than me (I'm a bit tired, so my reply isn't going to be great, but the gist should work, if you get it) Basically, don't mention so much that it's for her, unless you're serious. Just mention how the extra money will help you save up for a decent house deposit, and give you more money to play around with. Whether it be more dates/ spoiling your partner or just hobbies or something.
But yes, have a serious talk to her. If you're serious, say it's for her (in a sense. Don't say it in a way that makes her want to spend all of your money (it can sometimes happen) say it in a way that makes it sound like you're preparing for a future with her)
Hopefully that helps a little.
As 623 said, it sounds like she is a bit clingy. Definitely sounds like it's time to have a chat with her, and I'd also mention how the extra hours will help towards you getting a good house and will help you prepare for a future... if you can word that better than me (I'm a bit tired, so my reply isn't going to be great, but the gist should work, if you get it) Basically, don't mention so much that it's for her, unless you're serious. Just mention how the extra money will help you save up for a decent house deposit, and give you more money to play around with. Whether it be more dates/ spoiling your partner or just hobbies or something.
But yes, have a serious talk to her. If you're serious, say it's for her (in a sense. Don't say it in a way that makes her want to spend all of your money (it can sometimes happen) say it in a way that makes it sound like you're preparing for a future with her)
Hopefully that helps a little.
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She's dependent on you, to an unfair degree. You're spending more than adequate time with her, you're truly making an effort to show her you love her, are interested in her, desire her. It sounds like she got used to the amount of time you were together, and is now pouting because she's not being waited on as much as before.
Honestly, you are doing everything right. You're having sex regularly, you spend one-on-one time, you show her there's a spark by taking her out. The fact she's whining at you is unfair on her part - it may be indicative of underlying issues. I'd suggest a sit-down and ask her what's really going on that she feels the need to have more of your attention, when you're already giving her most or all of your free time.
Under no circumstance should anyone ever be told to leave or lessen their workload, especially in this tentative time in our lives. If you were working 80 hours a week, were a doctor on call, or something extreme and truly time-consuming, her concerns may be warranted, but as that is not the case, there is obviously something going on on her part.
Honestly, you are doing everything right. You're having sex regularly, you spend one-on-one time, you show her there's a spark by taking her out. The fact she's whining at you is unfair on her part - it may be indicative of underlying issues. I'd suggest a sit-down and ask her what's really going on that she feels the need to have more of your attention, when you're already giving her most or all of your free time.
Under no circumstance should anyone ever be told to leave or lessen their workload, especially in this tentative time in our lives. If you were working 80 hours a week, were a doctor on call, or something extreme and truly time-consuming, her concerns may be warranted, but as that is not the case, there is obviously something going on on her part.
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I dated a girl who was like that: I'd spend a lot of time with her, but when I wanted to have "me" time she'd call me out and pull the "I'm lonely/you're neglecting me" line. Unfortunately for me, things for us went south quickly and we ended up breaking it off.
However, the problem I found in my situation was my lack of communication. I was too quick to appease her situation without seeking a compromise. I'd keep telling her, "Sure, I'll continue to see you as much as you want." Don't do this. By doing this, I made myself a doormat, and she continued to manipulate me in order to keep herself happy.
With regard to that, be vocal about your situation. Let her know that this job is good for you, and indirectly to her, financially. She should respect that and understand that your job is occupying most of your time. You're being a good partner to her, from what I can tell. If she overlooks that, then she's not respecting you in the relationship.
However, the problem I found in my situation was my lack of communication. I was too quick to appease her situation without seeking a compromise. I'd keep telling her, "Sure, I'll continue to see you as much as you want." Don't do this. By doing this, I made myself a doormat, and she continued to manipulate me in order to keep herself happy.
With regard to that, be vocal about your situation. Let her know that this job is good for you, and indirectly to her, financially. She should respect that and understand that your job is occupying most of your time. You're being a good partner to her, from what I can tell. If she overlooks that, then she's not respecting you in the relationship.