[Locked] When NTR happens to you

So I've a good run with my friend. We said no attachments but of corse I'm the one who gets attached. I have to go on a church retreat this weekend so there is no way to stop her from going and fucking this "jock". I said i didn't care who it was, so long as she knew she was safe. Heres the twist--she has a huge BDSM fantasy and loves rough stuff. Im have a good package down there so Im not to worried that he'll be bigger than me, but there is always that chance that he has that 1-3 inches on me. I was depressed when she told me about this, but then I became furious at her. I still am. Today is the day i leave and the day she goes and get some. 1 thing i don't understand is--how can i want to fuck the shit of Jayden James and not care that she has been fucked by 50+ guys, and said friend goes and has sex with 1 guy and suddenly i want to cry, but slice her head off. Bonus of this is i get to talk to a girl i like about my problems, there is still hope. Also i don't have a religious preference, don't think there is a god and Christianity is a crazy--but this retreat is starting to look fun rather than hell.


Main question for all is-- How do i become rough in the sack? Cause i know me and this girl will still be fucking, she'll just never know about how i feel.

It's quite obvious that you have feelings for the girl. That to you her past does not outweigh your feelings for her. That you want her to, now, only acknowledge you and open to you. But at this moment she doesn't, or from your perspective, doesn't have the same feelings for you. It frustrates you that your the only one who goes that far emotionally.

It sounds like you told her, that it was okay, because you were afraid that if you told her no that she would choose against you. That if you let her, she'd come back to you regardless, but as you thought more about it, you feared that since she may only see your relationship with her as something sexual. That she may find more satisfaction from him and have no need for you anymore and that scares you.

Though this is what I derived out of context, there may be more factors involved but from what I read this is the conclusion I come to.

You have no reason to be mad at her. You have a no-strings-attached relationship, so if you're going to be "furious" over pretty much NOTHING then don't even continue to have sex with her. You sound immature as hell worrying about your size and what you can do to compete with her other lovers. If you're that childish, then you shouldn't be in the type of casual relationship that requires you to be mature enough to forsake your emotional reactions in order to have a fulfilling physical relationship. Get over yourself. The fact that you say you want to "chop her head off" is really concerning. What the fuck is wrong with you? It isn't even NTR. This girl isn't your possession nor should she be treated as if she is.

Emotional attachment is different than lust.

As over-the-top I think Dia's reactions are sometimes (not hatin' on ya, Dia. I still think you're awesome beside the point ('~')b), I have to say that I agree word for word with her post here. This isn't even NTR. It's just you being immature about the whole situation. Get over it.

Though to actually answer your actual question; I don't know, exactly. It's just something "built into you". I would say maybe letting go of that worry that you might hurt her, and just going for it. Though, keep in mind the safety of your partner always comes first, so... yeah.

Stop right there. This is your first blunder. I don't care what kind of relationship you have: a friendship-with-benefits is still a kind of relationship, and all relationships NEED COMMUNICATION!

Now, with that out of the way, I agree with Dia as well. You two are just fuck buddies. You have no monopoly her, so you have absolutely neither reason nor right to get jealous of anyone else she sleeps with. That is rule #1 in regular booty calls like these: don't ever get attached to the the person; just have sex with the body (partially exaggerating here; this statement does not mean you treat her like a complete toy, unless that's what she likes in bed).

I completely agree with what Dia said, and my final piece of advice is this: get out. Now. You obviously cannot handle no-strings-attached, is what this whole experience should teach you.

Agree with everyone..As the saying goes "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen".

Cause that's exactly what you are right now - someone who is incapable of handling the pressure of being in a sexual only relationship.

I started laughing when you started to talk about being gifted with your package.

Thanks..? I dont remember ever making this. Plus i havnt been on fakku in 2 weeks so this shocking. Thanks for the support i guess?

And who ever did make this is an asshole a d its New-password time!!

That is very amusing, because the two of you have exactly the same typing style and sentence structure. Also, I doubt a stranger would put up something like this asking for advice with this much detail attached. The fact that you're trying to recant your admission in the face of harsh criticism just proves that you're too immature to be engaging in sexual acts at all.

Everything that needed to be said, has been said. Your first mistake was participating in the new "Age of Reality" to begin with, it's not for the faint of heart. You'll either: A:Get an STD, B: Get the girl pregnant and end up being a teenage dad(and your prospects aren't any better than your teenage mom counterpart.) Or C: Like in this scenario, you screwed your own heart.

Casual relationships never develop, in fact they aren't even relationships to begin with. Hence why "she'll never know how you feel." The only feeling invoked is physical, and it'll only last for one night, or for as many nights as the two parties "do it."

Problem is, as you fatally learned: It's bound to end, leaving you with absolutely nothing. Now, the same is true for a romantic relationship at times as well. But here's the difference: At least you have fond memories with the person you loved.

With your casual lay? Uh...who was she again? Now, hopefully you'll get over this. Hopefully you'll find someone you'll love and this time you won't do something as retarded as ask her for a casual 'relationship'.

I have been NTRed once and one of my friends in college suffered a similar experience. It hurts like hell and take some good time to fully recover and consider a relationship once again.

Friends with benefits or sex friends is not a relationship at all and many fail to distinguish them. And having a GF / BF while also having a friend with benefits does not work or last long. If you want to go to the next step you must go for it and talk if she thinks the same way. But if you like things the way they are then there's no reason to be angry

Having a big size dosent mean your good at it... no offence ya but if your really good at it.. I don;t think she would go off with another guy.. sorry...

Never going to happen. Both of them are slave to my penises.

I'm laughing so hard right now lol

sounds like someone has gotten emotionally attached

I'm so glad someone said this before I did. I was beginning to worry that I'd have to type out a huge paragraph about how this guy is fucking psycho.

Normal people, when they get attached, get sad and kind of jealous when they're attached. It's not her fucking fault you got attached. It's not her fucking fault you haven't even told her how you feel. You agreed to this. If you feel something more, man the fuck up and say something. But this homicidal rage you feel is fucking scary as shit and you need to get some help. That shit is a red flag and you know it.

It's the difference between love and lust, simple as that

Look at the dates, people. Some slack-jawed idiot necro'd this from last October.

The neg rep in the OP was a huge hint.