Where's a good place to start?

I've had a lot of bad luck over the years meeting and talking to girls.

Most were preoccupied with other men (or making them jealous when around me) or simply flirting with me to pass the time.

I've tried meeting websites like OkCupid, but it just seems like there's nobody out there who cares or has similar interests to mine, or people just think I have issues.

It just seems like everybody has an Agenda and that Agenda involves the big bucks or a handsome guy, neither of which fit me.

The last time I met with a girl, she wanted to drink alcohol... not even talk to a man.

I was just.... ugh...

(If you can't tell already I'm very conservative, but at the same time I have weird tastes in women if you can believe it, i.e. Cosplay/Latex Fetish/Vanilla FemSub).

So I ask you, wise people of Fakku, where does a lonely guy start looking for unique women who aren't always looking for the perfect guy?

You are not alone my good friend. Most people have this issue, because most of us in this world are trying to find our significant other's or just someone who cares for us.

From what you've said, you may want to try these few things:

-Lower your standards: even if you don’t have high standards to begin with, from what you’ve already experienced you haven’t been attracting the right women or meeting the right women. It’s sad to say that there are quite a few women who are shallow, but this isn’t everyone. Think about what you want in a woman and just keep yourself open to all choices in life.

- Change where you go to meet people: you may not be in the best of locations to meet people that you wish to meet. Try making small talk with people in the bookstore or at a videogame store, or even try going to an anime/videogame/comic convention. Even if you don’t meet a girl that has your same interests doesn’t mean that they can’t come to appreciate you.

To sum things up, make sure you think about the type of woman you want and then stay open to all possibilities. When you think of your ideal partner, just keep in mind the things that you cannot live with. These will be you “deal breakers”. When you do so, don’t come up with 50 of them, only make about 3 or 5 and these have to be things that you cannot live with under any circumstance such as drinking alcohol (if you don’t drink and your partner does), a vain person (they only care about themselves and nothing else), they are not of the same religion (if you are religious).

Most people can come to learn and accept your hobbies if they are the right person. My boyfriend has no clue about anime or about the otkau culture, but he still accepts me for who I am and has even made the effort to learn about it when he can. So don’t set your sites too narrow.

Also I recommend you just getting out there and making new friends, when you start to meet new people regardless if it is a new guy or girl, you can potentially meet a nice girl along the way through your encounters in life. So enjoy life and the friends that you make along the way and if you keep working on things you may end up with a girl.

Enjoying life and having fun along the way with a bit of luck and hope thrown in creates possibilities for the future. Like my mother always says, "If you try too hard, you won't get what you want. It's when you aren't looking that things can come your way without you realizing it."

I see a BIG lack in what you've stated : what about what may want your ideal woman ? Do you think you really can match her own standards ?

It does not mean you should "change" who you are or would be -- rather to find which women you can challenge and which you can't.

Start low then work your way up till you find the right one. By low I mean the most ugly chick you see

First of all, you're not coming across as a guy who is confident in themselves and you pretty much said that you would rather just accept any woman who would "settle" for you. Can be seen as a major turnoff.

Secondly, you might want to lower your standards a bit. You're so fixated on finding a woman who's into the same stuff you are that you're hurting your own cause. There's nothing stopping you sharing those interests with a girl once you've reeled her in and if she doesn't like the stuff you're interested in then she's not the one.


From a fellow man who isn't into gold-diggers, I'd say there's no rush to find the "perfect" woman. I didn't rush it, and I eventually found her. (just wished she lived closer. Boo.)

Start locally first. Your friends might know someone you might like, so just arrange to go out with your friends and your friends' friends. Maybe to a festival or some event, or just somewhere you like to hang out. If you do find a girl, you'll get on with her like a house on fire. If not, no loss.

I firmly believe there is no such thing as the perfect man or woman.

With that said if you are looking for a relationship you need to just go out. Go to places you like to go and approach a female or something (just don't do it in a Ted Bundy way). Going to places you like gives you common ground and also lead to having other things in common. Just so you know there isn't just one location you can go and all the single girls are there. You still need to work at it I suppose.

I know your pain my friend but in my opinion there is no exact place to meet the right girl just keep your eyes open and spark up as much conversation as you can with chicks around you. recently Ive coming out of my shell and it has been showing results. just a few weeks ago i had a relly good on the spot date with a girl who has no intrest in games or anime and we spent most of the night drinking beers and playing house of the dead it went really well and im no good with girls so that was a big step forward for me. what im trying to say is be open and talkative to girls around you. you never know what might happen, you might start a really good converation that goes on for hours and you might end the night with getting a phone number or better if you know what i mean.

I understand where you're coming from. I wish I had a good answer of where to actually go or how to go about finding that special girl asap, but I don't have that kind of answer.

My best suggestion is to not look for her. Such a girl - with the characteristics and interests you seek - will not be walking around with a "Here I am." sign. She'll be accidentally stumbled upon when you least expect it. Best I can offer for advice is to not worry about it and stop looking. The best things in life will come easier and more naturally when you let it happen on its own, rather than force (or work hard for) the matter.

my recommendation is to give up.

I don't really like to say «where» you should look. I'd rather say «with whom». I think the easiest and best way to meet people is to talk to friends.

Arrange group hangouts, not on Google+, and try to meet your friends' friends. If they like you, it will come up naturally as opposed to being in an awkward date. If they don't like you, you'll just have a fun time with friends. Also, it is much easier to have one of your friends set you up than going on dating websites.