Zeros Hentai Scripts
0
Hello word, I thought I might upload some of my works to get some critic about it.
I named the topic hentai scripts, because I am currently working on a Hentai shortie, but I might as well upload single illustrations.
The current project is going to be very short; I am restraining myself, because I tend to make things too long and loose interest before it's finished...
The story is quite unoriginal and stupid, but I don't mind, because I see this as a drawing practice:
Some highschool girlie (supposed to be kawaii) has terrible problems with hick-ups. A classmate jokes around and tells her, that drinking his sperm will cure her. Instead of stabbing him to death, she actually starts giving him a blowjob. Of course this didn't help, so they end up having sex. The next day (saturday) she calls him and asks for his help again...Lovey-dovey end.
I can upload sketches of the first pages right now and some more tomorrow:
I would appreciate all sorts of critics!
EDIT: The pages are read from right to left, but due to imagebams sorting-system you ´click the left pic first.
I named the topic hentai scripts, because I am currently working on a Hentai shortie, but I might as well upload single illustrations.
The current project is going to be very short; I am restraining myself, because I tend to make things too long and loose interest before it's finished...
The story is quite unoriginal and stupid, but I don't mind, because I see this as a drawing practice:
Some highschool girlie (supposed to be kawaii) has terrible problems with hick-ups. A classmate jokes around and tells her, that drinking his sperm will cure her. Instead of stabbing him to death, she actually starts giving him a blowjob. Of course this didn't help, so they end up having sex. The next day (saturday) she calls him and asks for his help again...Lovey-dovey end.
I can upload sketches of the first pages right now and some more tomorrow:
I would appreciate all sorts of critics!
EDIT: The pages are read from right to left, but due to imagebams sorting-system you ´click the left pic first.
0
is it read from left to right or right to left. this is something you should point out so it wont cause any confusion.
the layout on page 2 is kind of random
the layout on page 2 is kind of random
0
SeriousSAM wrote...
is it read from left to right or right to left. this is something you should point out so it wont cause any confusion.the layout on page 2 is kind of random
First: I've just editet my post, thanks for the hint.
Second: What exactly do you mean by random? Can't you see the reading- direction? Does the layout not appeal to you?
0
gizgal wrote...
Nice! Wish I could make such well-made storyboards for hentai. ;-;You think it's well-made? Thank you :3
0
Maeve wrote...
I kinda lost the pace of them dialogue too, but I'm sure thats just me.I like it though.
I think a good manga is built so everyone can follow the dialogues naturally, without having to think of it. Therefore I think it's not just you. I think I have to rebuild it, but I'm trying to finish the script first.
0
BTW, if you finish this one-shot.
You should ask a mod to upload it to the galleries!
user-created works are always welcome!
You should ask a mod to upload it to the galleries!
user-created works are always welcome!
0
Moar stuff now:
Page 3 left, page 4 right, read the page itself from right to left.
This took me some time, because I redid the faces several times. It's quite amusing to see her face vary so much, because I cannot keep it constant... Actually I am trying to do her very shoujo-like, but I cannot keep the proportions, especially in smaller illus.
Anyways, enjoy, and please crit me!
Page 3 left, page 4 right, read the page itself from right to left.
This took me some time, because I redid the faces several times. It's quite amusing to see her face vary so much, because I cannot keep it constant... Actually I am trying to do her very shoujo-like, but I cannot keep the proportions, especially in smaller illus.
Anyways, enjoy, and please crit me!
0
変態 wrote...
BTW, if you finish this one-shot.You should ask a mod to upload it to the galleries!
user-created works are always welcome!
Could you name some? I am interested in seeing what others did :)
0
SeriousSAM wrote...
why did the reading style change from left-to-right on pages 1,2 to right-to-left on page 3,4Brainfart, perhaps? Everything is read from right to left, I dunno why I couldn't write this in the first post.
0
Rei means Zero wrote...
Could you name some? I am interested in seeing what others did :)So far, I only know one. This.
0
Now it's even three pics, omg! Here are page 5, 6 and 7. Seven is a bit too rough right now, but well. The flow is like always too slow, I must find a way to make this more exciting!
Critics like always appreciated :> This is the sketch phase, so I'd really like some comments on perspective and anatomy, pwease.
Critics like always appreciated :> This is the sketch phase, so I'd really like some comments on perspective and anatomy, pwease.
