Abuse in the work place, help.
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Ok, my girlfriend has a job working in a shop and for a while now she has been suffering abuse from some of her customers, most of them being about rude about her being deaf. This abuse consists of: Rudely staring at her outer ear implants, laughing or scowling at her. Yelling at her loudly and sarcastically, when she is packing their bags at least one of the customers has said "Just because you are deaf doesn't mean you can be let off for packing so damn slowly, idiot" Even though these customers usually have a lot of items. Insults such as "Ah so, you're one of those twats who's stolen our jobs and money just to get benefits for your apparent incapability of doing anything, because of your deafness? To hell with you!" She has already filed multiple complaints and has gotten three of the customers banned, she is afraid to say anything to her boss due to the fact that he is annoyed because she has filed so many complaints. I was wondering if there are any foundations or charities or causes or whatever that deal with this kind of a matter that can help (UK based ones only, please) And if you know any could you please leave there details below. Thank you.
(If this is in the wrong forum, please move it.)
(If this is in the wrong forum, please move it.)
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First of all, I would like to express my sympathy for your girlfriend's plight. I will not pretend to fully understand her situation as empathy will only get me "that" far as I do not share the same condition as her.
As for why people always pick on her, there are a great variety of reasons like jealousy or even something as simple as a low self-esteem. They may pick on her because they are feel inferior and try to look for someone who is in their eyes "more inferior".
The first and most obvious solution I can offer is to simply leave that job. We can't change people, but we can change our environment. From what I can see her job as customer service requires high levels of interaction (most notably verbal communication). I would suggest that she find a job that minimizes interaction such as IT or data entry. Psychology is also a great career path. Particularly in the field of micro-expressions.
The second solution is easy to put in words but difficult in practice. It is to change how she responds to the abuse. The discrimination against people with disabilities will always be there, no matter which country. Force against force does not work all the time. After all, she filed complaints against those customers and it did not deter them. My method for dealing with bullies usually involves acting the "confused guy", the "erratic guy" or the "psychotherapist". Of course what works for me may not work her.
People like them often target people who they know that their abuse will affect those people in question. What I would suggest her to do is to be much more assertive. Politely DEMANDING a public apology works wonders. When they realize that their actions tend to backfire when it comes to this individual, they will leave her alone.
Of course for simplicity sake, I would strongly recommend the first option of finding an alternative employment.
As for why people always pick on her, there are a great variety of reasons like jealousy or even something as simple as a low self-esteem. They may pick on her because they are feel inferior and try to look for someone who is in their eyes "more inferior".
The first and most obvious solution I can offer is to simply leave that job. We can't change people, but we can change our environment. From what I can see her job as customer service requires high levels of interaction (most notably verbal communication). I would suggest that she find a job that minimizes interaction such as IT or data entry. Psychology is also a great career path. Particularly in the field of micro-expressions.
The second solution is easy to put in words but difficult in practice. It is to change how she responds to the abuse. The discrimination against people with disabilities will always be there, no matter which country. Force against force does not work all the time. After all, she filed complaints against those customers and it did not deter them. My method for dealing with bullies usually involves acting the "confused guy", the "erratic guy" or the "psychotherapist". Of course what works for me may not work her.
People like them often target people who they know that their abuse will affect those people in question. What I would suggest her to do is to be much more assertive. Politely DEMANDING a public apology works wonders. When they realize that their actions tend to backfire when it comes to this individual, they will leave her alone.
Of course for simplicity sake, I would strongly recommend the first option of finding an alternative employment.
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I agree with Kagezuchi. the easiest way is to find a different job. she will have the same problems with any job dealing with the public. for every decent, respectful customer, there are five moronic assholes.
i do my best at every job and am alway polite to customers, but every single job i've had in the service industry there was at least once i came very near to physicaly assulting some idiot.
i do my best at every job and am alway polite to customers, but every single job i've had in the service industry there was at least once i came very near to physicaly assulting some idiot.
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Quitting her job is an option, but I think she should keep on with the complaints. If her boss doesn't like it, tough titty. Systems have reasons for existing. She has a right to file any number of complaints she wants, as long as there are an equal (if not greater than) number of reasons for her complaints. This shit shouldn't be allowed to happen, but if she doesn't complain and lets the assholes trample all over her, then the people are getting away with it, and nothing changes.
I don't know of any organizations that could help, especially in the UK, but I'm sure they exist. In this day and age, people with similar difficulties band together a lot, and there tend to be a lot of governmental agencies that strive for human rights for all people, not just "normal" people.
Some quick Googling found this: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/DG_10011138
"The Equality and Human Rights Commission is a non-departmental public body which works to eliminate discrimination, reduce inequality, protect human rights and to build good relations. It has responsibility for the roles previously undertaken by the Equal Opportunities Commission, the Commission for Racial Equality, and the Disability Rights Commission."
I'm not certain, but it may be helpful to contact them and tell them about the situation. It seems like there is a focus on discrimination between employees and employers, but I'm sure it's not that uncommon for customers to harass employees with disabilities, so hopefully someone will be able to help or at least give some advice.
I don't know of any organizations that could help, especially in the UK, but I'm sure they exist. In this day and age, people with similar difficulties band together a lot, and there tend to be a lot of governmental agencies that strive for human rights for all people, not just "normal" people.
Some quick Googling found this: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/DG_10011138
"The Equality and Human Rights Commission is a non-departmental public body which works to eliminate discrimination, reduce inequality, protect human rights and to build good relations. It has responsibility for the roles previously undertaken by the Equal Opportunities Commission, the Commission for Racial Equality, and the Disability Rights Commission."
I'm not certain, but it may be helpful to contact them and tell them about the situation. It seems like there is a focus on discrimination between employees and employers, but I'm sure it's not that uncommon for customers to harass employees with disabilities, so hopefully someone will be able to help or at least give some advice.
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I honestly have no new advice to give you other than whats already been given. I find it hard to believe that this world can be so filled with assholes such as that. If anything, have your girlfriend talk to the customer, asking them politely, but in an assurtive manner for them to stop or appologize. Another is if that doesn't work, she'll probably have to find a new job or a new department.
