Judging other's by their appearance...
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Damoz wrote...
I personally don't like stereotyping people, i know i am probably guilty of it it but still. I prefer to read a book before i judge it because face value never gives the right impression.That said, people in general will always have preconceptions on what people should be like. This often leads to misunderstanding people and just general stupidity. For instance, i had a friend a while ago and he like to wear leather, has a mohawk and beard. Most people are scared of him because he looks "scary". But once you get to know him he is a nice guy who does beautiful landscape art and has a huge taste in music. But if you didn't they all thought he was a metal head anarchist who spends his time beating people up at night.
This along with the media coming along and telling everyone what they should like to be "trendy" leading to mainstream people having no personality at all when they are around others. When it really comes down to it we are part of a society that like to think that everybody was made out of perfect clean cast's for easy rendering.
EZ-2789 wrote...
So when you first meet someone, you categorize them into one of these roles based on the little information you receive at the beginning. It makes it easier for us to organize the people we meet on the fly.I agree with this also though, quite often people tend to do this because it make's life easier when you meeting new people.
I completely agree. For the most part, we do this subconsciously. The assignment of these preconceptions and mental roles to people we meet is usually done in a split second, without much conscious effort or thought; we see, and our mind reacts, whether we want it to or not. When we first pick up a book and look at the cover right before we start reading it, we subconsciously make an assumption of what the book might be about based on that image. The more we read, though, the more we learn that our first impression, regardless of how close it was, was not entirely accurate.
And this isn't something that some people do and some don't, it's a natural instinct. Many animals in the wild learn to survive by judging new surroundings immediately; hesitation could be the difference between life and death. But for us it's different because the chances that the person we just met might be a serial killer, or a rapist, etc., are relatively low.
For us, the issue then is getting to know the people we meet so that we can break them out of these one-dimensional images we've constructed of them in our minds. It's not wrong to judge someone right off the bat if you don't let that first impression be the sole guide for your actions and instead take the time to construct a better, more accurate image of them through further interactions. It's only wrong to judge when you let these preconceived notions and them alone completely rule how you treat someone else.
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Damoz
~Not A User~
EZ-2789 wrote...
Damoz wrote...
I personally don't like stereotyping people, i know i am probably guilty of it it but still. I prefer to read a book before i judge it because face value never gives the right impression.That said, people in general will always have preconceptions on what people should be like. This often leads to misunderstanding people and just general stupidity. For instance, i had a friend a while ago and he like to wear leather, has a mohawk and beard. Most people are scared of him because he looks "scary". But once you get to know him he is a nice guy who does beautiful landscape art and has a huge taste in music. But if you didn't they all thought he was a metal head anarchist who spends his time beating people up at night.
This along with the media coming along and telling everyone what they should like to be "trendy" leading to mainstream people having no personality at all when they are around others. When it really comes down to it we are part of a society that like to think that everybody was made out of perfect clean cast's for easy rendering.
EZ-2789 wrote...
So when you first meet someone, you categorize them into one of these roles based on the little information you receive at the beginning. It makes it easier for us to organize the people we meet on the fly.I agree with this also though, quite often people tend to do this because it make's life easier when you meeting new people.
I completely agree. For the most part, we do this subconsciously. The assignment of these preconceptions and mental roles to people we meet is usually done in a split second, without much conscious effort or thought; we see, and our mind reacts, whether we want it to or not. When we first pick up a book and look at the cover right before we start reading it, we subconsciously make an assumption of what the book might be about based on that image. The more we read, though, the more we learn that our first impression, regardless of how close it was, was not entirely accurate.
And this isn't something that some people do and some don't, it's a natural instinct. Many animals in the wild learn to survive by judging new surroundings immediately; hesitation could be the difference between life and death. But for us it's different because the chances that the person we just met might be a serial killer, or a rapist, etc., are relatively low.
For us, the issue then is getting to know the people we meet so that we can break them out of these one-dimensional images we've constructed of them in our minds. It's not wrong to judge someone right off the bat if you don't let that first impression be the sole guide for your actions and instead take the time to construct a better, more accurate image of them through further interactions. It's only wrong to judge when you let these preconceived notions and them alone completely rule how you treat someone else.
Well said. I like net forums because it is mainly free of this problem. But i do hope people are one day able to evolve past it and not be controlled by preconceptions.
P.S to tired to write suitable paragraph right now. lol
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Well you can tell alot of thing from a person's apperance so it's hard to judge by anything thing else but with things like liking anime you usally can't tell from outward apperences.
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Judging by appearance is not always a bad thing. I take into account other people's background (from what I can see) so that 1) I don't offend people, and 2) I can make connections more easily if I talk about things these folks most likely know or have interest in. Of course, I'm not always right, but I'm flexible and adjust my thinking based on the responses I get.
I avoid saying "Oh I wouldn't have guessed you were into this", but if I do it's always meant as a positive expression comparable to "Oh you have a broad range of interests, that's cool". Usually then people start talking about what they're into or I ask them more questions.
Anyway how does your wife feel about people's assumption that she's not into anime/manga/video games? If she wants to cut down on the "Oh I wouldn't have guessed" remarks, maybe she can mention that she likes anime to people she meet, put anime things on her desk or in her car, use anime-themed cell phone accessories...
I avoid saying "Oh I wouldn't have guessed you were into this", but if I do it's always meant as a positive expression comparable to "Oh you have a broad range of interests, that's cool". Usually then people start talking about what they're into or I ask them more questions.
Anyway how does your wife feel about people's assumption that she's not into anime/manga/video games? If she wants to cut down on the "Oh I wouldn't have guessed" remarks, maybe she can mention that she likes anime to people she meet, put anime things on her desk or in her car, use anime-themed cell phone accessories...
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ToyManC
Forgot my safe word
I think we judge people on appearance due to habit, more than from a conscious choice. When we are young, we usually lack the maturity and logic necessary to look beyond our initial perceptions, and so we tend to place people into positive or negative classifications. Take high school for example, where it is almost instinctive for kids to form groupings based on popularity. These habits follow us into adulthood, and some people never look beyond them while others become more adaptable.
We are also human, so we will always find ourselves looking at people and judging their levels of attractiveness, based on our own standards of what is beautiful. This, in itself, is not a bad thing as it is part of how we eventually decide who we pursue as possible marriage partners. It's when we don't allow ourselves to look beyond the physical that we miss the opportunity to meet some really great people. As a person who is overweight, I find there are many who treat me as if I must be lazy (a far from accurate assessment!)
The best thing to do, when confronted with those that misjudge us, is give them the opportunity to get to know us for who we are, but try to get to know them as well. But we have to accept that there are just some people, who's opinions and perceptions can't be changed. We can't force people to change, but simply try to give them a wider viewpoint.
We are also human, so we will always find ourselves looking at people and judging their levels of attractiveness, based on our own standards of what is beautiful. This, in itself, is not a bad thing as it is part of how we eventually decide who we pursue as possible marriage partners. It's when we don't allow ourselves to look beyond the physical that we miss the opportunity to meet some really great people. As a person who is overweight, I find there are many who treat me as if I must be lazy (a far from accurate assessment!)
The best thing to do, when confronted with those that misjudge us, is give them the opportunity to get to know us for who we are, but try to get to know them as well. But we have to accept that there are just some people, who's opinions and perceptions can't be changed. We can't force people to change, but simply try to give them a wider viewpoint.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
I find everyone does it subconsciously depending on how you dress, act or just look in general.
example: If I'm walking through town in my normal attire (Addidas trackpants, tshirt with a hood and my skates) People would think I'm a bogan, and they'd automatically assume I've got no interest in games (aside from cod) and drive a commodore and swear my tits off.
As for your question of what people who watch anime look like? You'd think: Glasses, pony tail, reserved, either a little on the larger side or really skinny. but, as it turns out, stereotypes aren't always true. As I said, I look like your typical bogan (currently wearing a wife beater ) and I like cars, can talk about cars like any bogan (but most likely with more knowledge.. not going 'AWW I GOT A FULLY SIK SUBWOOFA IN ME CAR, BRAH' actually being like 'I've got myself a nice alpine type s 12" running off a rockford power1000. A little overkill, but it'll do nicely. The car is only tiny after all ;D') but I watch anime often, and love my games. Otaku in disguise?
example: If I'm walking through town in my normal attire (Addidas trackpants, tshirt with a hood and my skates) People would think I'm a bogan, and they'd automatically assume I've got no interest in games (aside from cod) and drive a commodore and swear my tits off.
As for your question of what people who watch anime look like? You'd think: Glasses, pony tail, reserved, either a little on the larger side or really skinny. but, as it turns out, stereotypes aren't always true. As I said, I look like your typical bogan (currently wearing a wife beater ) and I like cars, can talk about cars like any bogan (but most likely with more knowledge.. not going 'AWW I GOT A FULLY SIK SUBWOOFA IN ME CAR, BRAH' actually being like 'I've got myself a nice alpine type s 12" running off a rockford power1000. A little overkill, but it'll do nicely. The car is only tiny after all ;D') but I watch anime often, and love my games. Otaku in disguise?
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Not judging someone based on their appearance is impossible. Even on the internet; as long as there's a name, there's a basis for judgement.
Of course, after you get to know someone, it's not really possible to see them any other way. That's who they are, and they look like the kind of person they are. If someone doesn't look like they read manga, and you get to know them and find out that they do in fact read manga, then they'll look like the kind of person to read manga.
Of course, after you get to know someone, it's not really possible to see them any other way. That's who they are, and they look like the kind of person they are. If someone doesn't look like they read manga, and you get to know them and find out that they do in fact read manga, then they'll look like the kind of person to read manga.
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Koyori wrote...
It's very human to assume that people who look like X should do Y if most people you know who does Y look like X.It's this inclusion process that allows human beings to identify patterns and understand possible futures, but sadly, it also leads to people being assholes to one another.
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We simply don't have a choice. We relate images in person to what we know to be true in our head. Whether or not we have had enough experience to have an unbiased opinion is left to be said. It's just how things are. I'm not saying it's right or ideal, but it's definitely normal.
I've made a lot of friends with a lot of strange people, I don't really assume anymore.
I've made a lot of friends with a lot of strange people, I don't really assume anymore.
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Lollikittie wrote...
We simply don't have a choice. We relate images in person to what we know to be true in our head. Whether or not we have had enough experience to have an unbiased opinion is left to be said. It's just how things are. I'm not saying it's right or ideal, but it's definitely normal. I've made a lot of friends with a lot of strange people, I don't really assume anymore.
I found out im really bad at trying to judge people from outer looks. You say we can't choose but that might not be right. If you were to view people for their positives apperances details then the choice would be more controlled.
I like to keep a more neutral opinion because this way when i get to know them better it just makes things easier, and it even clarifies how they are dressed or specific anatomy features.
Does anyone think the idea "you can tell a lot from a person's shoe's" is true? cause if it is then society doomed to people staring at each others feet.
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wn23 wrote...
Judging by appearance is not always a bad thing. I take into account other people's background (from what I can see) so that 1) I don't offend people, and 2) I can make connections more easily if I talk about things these folks most likely know or have interest in. Of course, I'm not always right, but I'm flexible and adjust my thinking based on the responses I get. I avoid saying "Oh I wouldn't have guessed you were into this", but if I do it's always meant as a positive expression comparable to "Oh you have a broad range of interests, that's cool". Usually then people start talking about what they're into or I ask them more questions.
Anyway how does your wife feel about people's assumption that she's not into anime/manga/video games? If she wants to cut down on the "Oh I wouldn't have guessed" remarks, maybe she can mention that she likes anime to people she meet, put anime things on her desk or in her car, use anime-themed cell phone accessories...
She seems pretty indifferent about it most of the time, mainly because she usually doesn't care what strangers think about her, unless she's interested in being their friend or something. The only time it bothers her is when someone says it somewhat rudely.
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Stereotypes are a good answer to questions like these. When people think of comic book/manga fans they automatically think of overweight, glasses-wearing, basement dwelling guys who don't have a life. Nobody expects a girl to like comics. These stereotypes can potentially destroy a person's way of perceiving the world as what he sees through his eyes are always skewered, and stereotypes are not easily destroyed.
When people meet new people, they automatically run their eyes all over the person. They look at his hairstyle, his dress sense, what phone he uses etc. According to what they perceive they group you into one of several groups, and it is up to these grouping decisions that a person decides whether someone is worth knowing and so on.
On the other hand, I am automatically cautious against everyone I see. Mind you this is not because of stereotypes, rather it comes from past experience/trauma. Now judgement based on trauma/past experience has a 50/50 chance of hitting the mark and once you DO hit the mark, it stays that way. Stereotypes may be hard to uproot but it is not entirely impossible. Past experience on the other hand stays with you for life. Some people argue that stereotypes and past experience/trauma are one and the same. Usually they overlook one crucial element; that is stereotypes are based on gossip and second-hand information while past experience is from a first-hand source. There is also another fact that is overlooked, that is the fact that stereotypes are spawned from other peoples' past experience.
Judging a book by its cover is simply a way of life for many people.
When people meet new people, they automatically run their eyes all over the person. They look at his hairstyle, his dress sense, what phone he uses etc. According to what they perceive they group you into one of several groups, and it is up to these grouping decisions that a person decides whether someone is worth knowing and so on.
On the other hand, I am automatically cautious against everyone I see. Mind you this is not because of stereotypes, rather it comes from past experience/trauma. Now judgement based on trauma/past experience has a 50/50 chance of hitting the mark and once you DO hit the mark, it stays that way. Stereotypes may be hard to uproot but it is not entirely impossible. Past experience on the other hand stays with you for life. Some people argue that stereotypes and past experience/trauma are one and the same. Usually they overlook one crucial element; that is stereotypes are based on gossip and second-hand information while past experience is from a first-hand source. There is also another fact that is overlooked, that is the fact that stereotypes are spawned from other peoples' past experience.
Judging a book by its cover is simply a way of life for many people.
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I remember reading this research study a while ago that says people can accurately judge to an extant a person's personality by their appearance. I believe this ties in directly with social cues that body language provides as a large percentage of communication is done non-verbally. I do not think it is wrong to speculate about a person by appearance but it is wrong to treat them differently based on appearance alone.
Besides, there are logical sequitur details you can gain from appearances. A few examples: if someone wears jewelry then you can guess that that person places value in non-functional items and is self-conscious about appearances and luxury. Yellow teeth would mean that someone is not as concerned with hygiene and bags under the eyes indicate late nights and a lack of sleep.
If your wife's communication signals maturity and people associate animated drawn tv shows with children like Americans are accustomed to then that would put them off.
It's necessary to judge a book by the cover sometimes. When you're in a library surrounded by thousands of books you don't have time to open each one of them to get a more knowledgeable view, so you look at the title and the cover. The same thing happens with people. We see so many people that it's useful to gleam some information off appearances because social interaction takes time.
Besides, there are logical sequitur details you can gain from appearances. A few examples: if someone wears jewelry then you can guess that that person places value in non-functional items and is self-conscious about appearances and luxury. Yellow teeth would mean that someone is not as concerned with hygiene and bags under the eyes indicate late nights and a lack of sleep.
If your wife's communication signals maturity and people associate animated drawn tv shows with children like Americans are accustomed to then that would put them off.
It's necessary to judge a book by the cover sometimes. When you're in a library surrounded by thousands of books you don't have time to open each one of them to get a more knowledgeable view, so you look at the title and the cover. The same thing happens with people. We see so many people that it's useful to gleam some information off appearances because social interaction takes time.
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I deal with judgement like that everyday. I find it offensive how people quickly come to conclusions about judging others just by their hobbies or appearance or their intelligents. I explained this to my fellow friends and peers and they understand judgement a little bit and that it shouldn't be easily used.
I hope your guys's peers understand that as well.. if not then it's up to us to open their eyes.
It's not basic nature to judge somebody by their looks... it's been taught long before 2000 years.
It is basic nature to communicate and accept each other though.
**I edited my statement.
I hope your guys's peers understand that as well.. if not then it's up to us to open their eyes.
It's not basic nature to judge somebody by their looks... it's been taught long before 2000 years.
It is basic nature to communicate and accept each other though.
**I edited my statement.
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Daedalus_ wrote...
I remember reading this research study a while ago that says people can accurately judge to an extant a person's personality by their appearance. I believe this ties in directly with social cues that body language provides as a large percentage of communication is done non-verbally. I do not think it is wrong to speculate about a person by appearance but it is wrong to treat them differently based on appearance alone.Besides, there are logical sequitur details you can gain from appearances. A few examples: if someone wears jewelry then you can guess that that person places value in non-functional items and is self-conscious about appearances and luxury. Yellow teeth would mean that someone is not as concerned with hygiene and bags under the eyes indicate late nights and a lack of sleep.
If your wife's communication signals maturity and people associate animated drawn tv shows with children like Americans are accustomed to then that would put them off.
It's necessary to judge a book by the cover sometimes. When you're in a library surrounded by thousands of books you don't have time to open each one of them to get a more knowledgeable view, so you look at the title and the cover. The same thing happens with people. We see so many people that it's useful to gleam some information off appearances because social interaction takes time.
That's kind of interesting. As for the vibe my wife puts out in public, she usually is very quiet, says very little, and sometimes comes off as a bit standoffish, but she's been getting better with other people. When she's comfortable, she's very lively and bubbly and is always smiling and giggling.
So I guess when around people she doesn't know, they probably take her to be a very serious person, maybe.
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The reason why people have this idiotic ability to judge others by appearance is because they wanna have that what normal people cannot obtain and that is status.
People who judge other people alot are idiotic figures who are less worth than the average joe.
People who judge other people alot are idiotic figures who are less worth than the average joe.
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I sometimes judge people by appearances, but i prefer to actually get to know someone before i make assumptions. I meet a lot of people online and it gives me a chance to actually know them without judging their appearance.
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Legendary_Dollci wrote...
The reason why people have this idiotic ability to judge others by appearance is because they wanna have that what normal people cannot obtain and that is status.People who judge other people alot are idiotic figures who are less worth than the average joe.
I judge people based on appearance all the time, so I guess that makes me an idiot in your eyes.
However, I act absolutely no differently to anyone based on my first judging. Am I still an idiot?
Appearance can tell you so many things about a person that you can almost guess the kind of people they interact with and what you should say to them. And I don't mean clothes, specifically. I mean the way they walk, the way they talk, their "normal" face, and how their eyes move or widen/narrow in a normal setting.
Based on these observations, I know the things I probably shouldn't say to said person, something they might be interested in, what tone I should speak to them with, and how to possibly further our acquaintanceship into friendship if I chose to.
However, considering I never approach people and my introverted nature causes me to subtly push them into never speaking to me again, I guess I'd say they -should- have observed my sinisterly blank face and downcast dark eyes to come to the conclusion that I'm probably not the best person to "pal around" with.
In conclusion, judging based on appearance can come in handy when you only act on your judgement if the response is slight. Basically, don't go up to someone you think is probably an asshole, and call them an asshole. Instead, if you feel so inclined, -prove- to yourself that they're an asshole if you've already started a conversation with them.
Occasionally a look into the past will remind you of people you should have trusted your gut about and avoided them completely to be in a different place than you are today. As an avid reader, I never judge a book by its cover, but I'll surely put the book back if I don't like the plot summary on the inside of the cover page.
Also, I have no bloody idea what the end of your first sentence means. If normal people cannot obtain status, then we are all normal, have always been normal since the beginning of time, and always will be. So I'll just assume I misinterpreted it.
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Kensouke wrote...
Legendary_Dollci wrote...
The reason why people have this idiotic ability to judge others by appearance is because they wanna have that what normal people cannot obtain and that is status.People who judge other people alot are idiotic figures who are less worth than the average joe.
I judge people based on appearance all the time, so I guess that makes me an idiot in your eyes.
However, I act absolutely no differently to anyone based on my first judging. Am I still an idiot?
Appearance can tell you so many things about a person that you can almost guess the kind of people they interact with and what you should say to them. And I don't mean clothes, specifically. I mean the way they walk, the way they talk, their "normal" face, and how their eyes move or widen/narrow in a normal setting.
Based on these observations, I know the things I probably shouldn't say to said person, something they might be interested in, what tone I should speak to them with, and how to possibly further our acquaintanceship into friendship if I chose to.
However, considering I never approach people and my introverted nature causes me to subtly push them into never speaking to me again, I guess I'd say they -should- have observed my sinisterly blank face and downcast dark eyes to come to the conclusion that I'm probably not the best person to "pal around" with.
In conclusion, judging based on appearance can come in handy when you only act on your judgement if the response is slight. Basically, don't go up to someone you think is probably an asshole, and call them an asshole. Instead, if you feel so inclined, -prove- to yourself that they're an asshole if you've already started a conversation with them.
Occasionally a look into the past will remind of you people you should have trusted your gut about and avoided them completely to be in a different place than you are today. As an avid reader, I never judge a book by its cover, but I'll surely put the book back if I don't like the plot summary on the inside of the cover page.
Also, I have no bloody idea what the end of your first sentence means. If normal people cannot obtain status, then we are all normal, have always been normal since the beginning of time, and always will be. So I'll just assume I misinterpreted it.
I see your perspective there..... however I am still convinced that judging people by their appearance is still idiotic because the person you judge on will later change your mind... I am only saying I never judge a person by their appearance because it does not describe their character and who they are.