Losing the Loved Ones

Hi, GoodDay here. First of all, I would like to say that I am sorry for kind of ruining your joyous moment right now as you are reading this, but something came up on my mind that I need help with.

In my life, I have never lost any loved ones in my life. Well I have, but I was too young to know what death or relationships falling apart is. But as we all know, death is among us 24/7 and we can die suddenly and unexpectedly.

So the question is, How do you deal with the great loss of your loved ones? What do you think is the best way to cope with these depressing situations?

Keep your family and friends close, mourn when necessary, and understand that you had a good time and that you loved them while that time lasted.

So... basically let it be?

I've had people close to me die before, and I have never cried over any of them. Why? Well, I just am not as emotional as some. Death is inevitable, and I doubt the person who died would want me to get all broken up over it.

I'll bet you will have a different reaction, and that's fine. Let your feelings out as need be, never bottle them up. Someone will listen, and when it comes, you need to talk of it. That's all there is to it really.

If you have any sort of belief in an after life, you can take comfort in the fact that death is not final goodbye but instead a "see you later"

HOWEVER, not everyone has that belief. So I would surmise you would have to take comfort in the people who are still with you for as long the time you have left with them permits.

I've been there. My grandma died in August last year of cancer.
I was at her bedside while she was neardeath it was kind of disturbing to see
my grandma, A women so full of life now laying there ready to die. My life was not going good then I was living on my own in a 1 bedroom apartment I was jobless looking for work and finding nothing and my rent was $725.00 plus cable and my cellphone. I literally starved for weeks on end, I lost like 40 pounds in the span of 1 month because of it, and every now and then my mom would invite me back home for dinner. And for my grandma to pass on the way she did was very devastating to me I thought there was nothing good that would ever happen in my life again. I then began to drink and get drunk when ever I could afford it. I was a wreck but after I got a call from my mom one day in october of that year, she asked me if I wanted to move in with my grandpa in Kelowna (My Birthplace) and at that time I didn't think twice and said yes, I was starving and was weak as hell my mom even noticed I was malnourished so I didn't hesitate on my answer. Whew! Sorry I kind of unloaded alot of emotion in text form but those are my true words and I am doing quite well now. I have all my friends there for support a roof over my head and food. I would like to thankyou GoodDay for making this thread, I was intending on unloading my life story in the lemons and writing section but I never had a good reason to do so. But thanx for posting this.

I just miss them and live on with my life. It what they would have wanted for me.

I feel that the important thing is to remember what they stood for (the good things they stood for).

I've lost two aunts, and a close friend of mine. When they first passed, i mourned for a very short time, then moved on. That is what i think they would have wanted.

I know of at least one way a secular person can cope with death: I once heard from a musician called George Hrab, who also had to cope with a death, that at least you could take comfort in the fact that they won't have to miss you, the way you do them.

Positive spin, no self delusion, you don't breach your intellectual integrity, and you might feel a bit better as a result.

Bury self in work until numb enough to carry on.

I have lost one friend, wasn't very close, but died at the age of 5 i think;

I wasn't crying at the church or anywhere at all, but i did know that it was a saddening thing, but i wasn't sad thou i wasn't like "oh he died whatever" either.

They invented alcohol for this.

Never had a family member die before so I don't know how I'll take that. A good friend of mine died last year and it didn't really have much of an impact on me so I imagine I'll handle any other loss just fine.

As I mentioned in my post I used alcohol after my grandma's death its not the best choice to cope with the loss of a loved one.but luckly its all behind me now.

I have lost someone who is dearest to me in all my bloody life and I am still grieving.

How do I deal with it? How else can anyone deal with such? You do nothing, coz you cant do anything anyway

I know this topic has come up before. What I said previously and is still my feelings on the matter is that I'm pretty accepting of death as something that will happen. I'll miss the person sure but I probably won't be sobbing at their funeral.

Yeah I kinda of agree. Tears dont easily come out of my eyes

really its all in how you approach it.. as you said death is something that is just apart of life.

How you cope with it can be a very difficult thing... myself personally being all the fucked up things i see in our world i tend to celebrate those who have passed. not the fact that there gone, but in the fact that they no longer have to live with the fucked up things in our world/society. Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

but then again i find myself very hard pressed to get really attached to anyone.

Hmm kinda interesting...

I've lost some people and pets before...

I lost my great grandpa to lung cancer when I was really young and I dont remember HIM very well, but I do remember that he was one of the first people that ever taught me anything, He taught me to ride a horse by myself...

I lost a "good friend of the family" more recently, he was around all the while I was really young, a more closer friend of my uncle's and I got to know him more one summer when we hung out at his place and did some heavy drugs... he made some awesome tattoos too... But a while ago he went missing, and later they found his body in a field, and everyone thinks he was beaten and killed by cops... This is in mexico BTW...

...

Ive lost a lot of pets throughout the years, but the one that hit me the hardest was the one I had the most memories with, he was a plain white old "house dog" he was with me for as long as I can remember, like during when my great grandpa was around, and one day my grandma told me he was hit by a car and killed... I think I didnt eat for three days since I felt so fucked up...

So yeah I've had some heavy losses, and am sure other people have had some as well...