R.I.P My best friend, Scott.

This is kind of a pointless post, but I just want to vent/honor his memory by talking about him. Last night, I found my nearly a brother best friend and roommate dead in his room from a gunshot to the head. He committed suicide. His suicide note was addressed to me. In the note, he told me that he had been severely depressed for years, and he had extreme self hatred for being gay, due to religion, his late parents who abused him because of that, and constantly being thrashed throughout the years for it. He couldn't take it anymore, and shot himself. He thanked me in the note for everything i did for him, and all the good times we had together. He had a tough life, and his parents were killed in an accident when he was 14, which he was happy about. He felt guilty about that until the end. Scott did a lot for me. He, a 23 year old, was nice enough to take in a 17 year old clinically insane bipolar mess like me, and treated me like family from the second I moved in. Other than my mom, Scott was one of the reasons I survived my nervous breakdown; I owed him my life. He helped me through all the tough times I had, he even helped me graduate from college. To be honest, I can't help but feel like it was my fault. He was so depressed, and I never noticed anything at all. I know in my gut that I had nothing to do with his death, but I still feel guilty about it. I only lived with him for two years, but he was like a brother to me. When I found him, my mind just blanked. I was in physical shock, shaking and vomiting. I felt dead for hours. I couldn't even speak for a few hours. After a straight day of crying and getting drunk on scotch, my friends on Skype, especially catfish, got me out of it. I just ate about an hour ago for the first time since I found him. I'm still horribly depressed, but I've accepted all of this thanks to them. In the end, I hope he found peace. Scott was halfway through writing a sci-fi novel, and I've decided to finish it for him. Knowing Scott, that's what he'd want. Goodbye Scott Wells. I'm gonna miss you, you ass.

Scott Wells, 1987-2010.

Dude, my condolence to you friend...

There's nothing pointless about venting about a person who was family. My condolences man.

Yeah, i guess not. I was drunk when i posted, so yeah.

Sorry for the loss, my condolence to you friend.

Sorry for your loss, i had friends kill themselves because of their fear of their homosexuality inbeded by the church, myself included. It sucks.

My condolences to you. Finishing that book is a fine way to honor his memory.

My condolences, man!
It's hard to be so close to someone so important to you and lose them, let alone find them dead yourself.
I am sorry for your loss... :( but know that you did all you could for him and it seems he really appreciated you.

Firstly my condolences man to losing your friend. Secondly your friend's and idiot for killing himself over depression. Didn't he give away his stuff towards the end of his life? Wasn't he nicer than usual? Man you gotta look for those signs of someone that's gonna commit suicide. If I had a friend do that I'd spit on his grave and call him a fucking faggot for doing it in the first place then get drunk off my ass and cry. Besides can't forgive him for listening to peer pressure anyway. He should've just kept on living just to piss off the church anyway.

I feel this is a bit cruel considering that OP is pretty much grieving right now, feels bad for not seeing the signs of suicide, and this isn't going to help him feel any better. :|

Sorry for your loss. My condolence to you sir.

Mod Note: Although I am sorry to hear about the loss of your close friend, I am not sure if this topic should belong in the Serious Discussions section.

However, out of respect, I will leave this thread open for a couple more days before locking it.

I hope you understand where I am coming from and I apologize for the inconvenience caused.

True, but homey needs to face facts of life. I know I wouldn't be able to post, much less be on my computer, if I found out one of my friends died and I've known most of them for at least 10yrs not with the newer ones being at 2. Of course watching a lot of tv and being a psych major you tend to observe things. But rereading my post should show symphony, anger, stupidity, and partial sadness just for the thought.

his last letter/suicide not was addressed to you and told you how much he loved you as a friend, why would you believe for a second that you are somehow at fault for any of this? No one expects someone they care about to kill themselves.

Live the rest of your life for them. Part of it at least.

Well my condolence to you my friend,and good luck on finishing the book. ^_^

Thanks guys. Means alot to read all this, especially Warr's post. Thanks man. Oh and raven: Dick move man. Thanks, but still, you crossed the line by calling him an idiot. other than that, thanks everyone.

Im not for suicide and its something I greatly disapprove of but I imagine it was pretty hard for him to go through what he went through. Im sure hes happier where he is now, hes gonna want that book finished too, hope you make him proud.
My Condolences as well, no one should ever go what you went through. Live life to the fullest man.

My condolences bro. If that letter was addressed at you and thanked for it, that is because you where one person who actually liven up his life. He didnt blame you for anything. Again, my respects man.