The Holy Bible Needs A Fucking Update

Even as an ex-christian, I can't deny that the Holy Bible is the greatest collection of books ever written. I'm agnostic atm, but I believe these were God's words (or alien's, it really doesn't matter anymore). The problem is that humans had to interpret those words. When we learn something for the first time (like a new word to add to our vocabulary), the best way we keep it in our mind is by associating it with what we can relate to (ex. To me, being a liberal means preparing for the future). The books of the bible were written by mortals who had no knowledge outside of their daily routines.

The main conflict they had to fight against was nature (and crazy ass niggers in power). As civilization started to get modernized, our perception of what was written in the Bible became hella confusing. So many contradictions and not enough solid answers drove some people away. Others (like me) played it safe and just leaned on the fence waiting for definite answers to the confusion. Yet, Christianity managed to survive and is still going strong. I guess ignorance really is blissful for people.

Rather, its not just ignorance, but fear also plays a big role. I've gone back to church for up to 2 weeks, and all it really is are a bunch of people praising God openly. I was bored to tears, not because I hate church, but because people are missing the point of going to church. Instead of trying to be a better person, they're just trying to lift up their spirits and live with their sinful ways. What they should be doing is confessing their sins openly (or to a pastor). I can't help but get the impression that people only go to church because they're afraid of hell (and people who aren't afraid of hell). IMO, if people can't confess their sins in a specific manner, then they have no right to go to church.

Now, even though the title says the Bible needs an update, I'm pretty sure it will never happen. Why? Because there are scriptures that clearly state nothing in the bible should be added (Not sure if it is only referring to Revelations or the whole compilation of books though):



Ironically, the bible doesn't say anything about omitting books, or editing scriptures (at least I don't think it does, I could be wrong). The dead sea scrolls is proof of this matter. Well, without further ado, here are some things I think should be changed for the modern society:

What should be a sin

-Pedophilia should be a sin (It kinda is already though, since a child isn't old enough to give consent to sex. Rape is already a sin)
-Slavery should be a sin (Prison doesn't count)
-Drug Abuse should be a sin
-Divorce

What shouldn't be a sin

-Homosexuality
-Fornication
-Divorce

I put divorce in both categories because the nature of divorce in the bible needed more elaboration. This website explains it better than I could regarding the matter.

Now for shits and giggles, here are my Sins:

-I worship money (I put money before God)
-I say God's name in vain
-I tempt God
-I masturbate on Sunday
-When I was 6, I dared my cousin to strip naked in the woods and masturbate (I still can't believe she did that shit, lol)
-During my adolescence (13 - 16), I watched child pornography.
-I pirate (steal) music and games
-I call myself the antichrist (With good reason of course)
-I say "Hail Satan" to people when I want to be left alone

I don't mind going to hell for those sins. I am after all jesus' masochistic bitch. For those about to reply to this thread, don't judge me without first judging yourself. Oh, and I'm already aware that the Catholic Pope already changed their doctrine to include some of the things I mentioned as sins. This thread is aimed at Christianity.

Christian bible is missing 100 more books. Anything that didn't follow the emperor ideal of what he new found faith... half hearted at best was removed and called heresy. As society changed and a new regime came to power the teachings of Jesus were suppressed and replaced with the political faith of Emperor Constantine, and accordingly the Gnosis went underground to ensure its survival. What we have in today's religious movements are not the original forms of Judaism and Christianity,but apostate faiths masquerading in their place. The Bible itself has been tampered with tosuch an extent that only through much critical study can we restore just some of its inner meaning. The Institute upholds the original inner teachings of Jesus as part of a continuum of wisdom which spans from Pagan to so-called Christian sources.

...I was raised Christian, and while I'm not very devout anymore, I was always taught in Catholic school that the Bible was merely meant to be read in context. Never out. And this was told to me by a NUN.

Clearly, the problem with the Bible is that people love to (and have for many many generations) taken its teachings literally and without context of their era, writers, place of origin and moral standards of the time.

If the bible were to finally be considered more of a guideline and book of hyperbolic examples, we'd have far fewer bible-thumpers on our hands.

The bible is a premise and example as to how you should live your life, even atheists can learn something from it,and again sin is the knowing of going against god by doing wrong, Any or all those things that you mentioned just to annoy religionfags probably aren't sins unless you truthfully can say you intend to rebel against god or believe it is bad. Also the bible literally does not view some of the things you mentioned as sin, for one example divorce is allowed both in the old testament and new even Jesus said such a harmful connection should not be allowed if not allowing love to prevail.As for the other points, much of the bible asks not to judge those who do participate in such events only to know it could be harmful and allow harboring of other sins and the only reason the church(Catholicism for this matter at least as all others should burn in the depths of hell for eternity for fallacy and failure to evangelize the Word) doesn't openly agree with these topics is because the need to maintain stability within our comment but it does often bring out outreach and allow it's practioners to decide how to take it. As for gizgal's comment on in and out of context, the Magisterium and the various heads of the church use many ways to source reason out of the bible, literal and moral criticism probably leads to the most deviation from the bible's lesson anyways, so in now way should you ever just read it in context, take it to mind the true meaning of the words.
Summary: The bible does not have to guide you to what is sin and what is not, it is there to help you distinguish what is and what is not and how to lean to what is, also the preachers and church help as well but with human inference that cannot often comprehend everyone in Divine Mystery, often it is misconstrued.Passages in the Bible cannot conflict, all share a part in God's Revelation.You can confess in a matter but people often forget or choose not to hold it in importance(sacrament of confession and in a way communion but you'll
probably not be interested in that).Bibles and the Church DO mention the omitting of books, both in notes in most bibles and through
various meetings mainly Vatican council two.pedophilia is a sin, it is presented in the form as marriage in young age and may lead you to think the bible should be updated but I hope you understand why you need to take the change in times and real reason behind bible in mind

Cites and reference
"(Sacred Scripture) must be read and interpreted in the light of the same Spirit in which it was written...it must be read within the living tradition of the church...context,sense,and criticism of works in bible must be used, while the times do change the message may never contradict or change, fully understand through analysis of faith and through knowledge given by God"
"Fundamentalists provide various fallacies to our teachings, to truly convey the message of our Lord we must balance and come upon a literalist sense...who is to take into account meaning of the author"
2nd Vatican Council
(ugh 2% left in IPad I'll edit later,god damn it didn't read OT like a dumbass XD hope I provided some coherent thought though)

I never took the Holy Bible into a part of my life, i had a few Bible study lessons, but then just gave up, found it very contradicting to both the USA's laws and the words of god, i am an atheist though i only like 1 phrase from the bible. and some examples below



-PSST, THE QUOTE'S FROM A GAME-

Example to my statement: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice for all."

We pledge to flag symbolizing god
Contradiction: God's Commandments states we cannot have an idol or symbol representing him. This was emphasized in a story i believe.
Another one would be the US not favoring any certain religion in it's Deceleration of Independence, the government shall not force a religion onto people and as well as the government

Feel free to correct me, just don't blow up and WRTE LIEK A FVE YAER OLLDD in caps

Hm why not read the bible for the large amount of gore in it :3 the historical books and psalms often provide some "fun" and the rite of circumcision is lul.

I was raised in a Christian household and ended up as an agnostic, but I have a vastly different perspective of the bible than you do, OP.

The bible is a book written by men, for men. Try reading the Old Testament sometime. Not just skimming it, but actually sitting down and reading the entire thing, starting with Genesis and ending with Malachi. (I did.) According to the regulations laid down in the Pentateuch AKA Torah, if you're a woman and you give birth to a girl, you're ritually unclean for longer than if you had given birth to a boy. You're also unclean if you're menstruating. If you're a man, you can't enter into God's presence if you're not intact down there (because God won't deign to let you near him if you don't have your junk in order, apparently). You can help yourself to a female captive of war if it tickles your fancy. The list goes on.

I'm not the type of person who can try to pick the mold off bread and eat what's left. If I find mold on a slice of bread, the whole thing goes straight into the garbage can. These arbitrary, chauvinistic, and nonsensical threads run through the whole of the bible, right up to where Paul wrote, I permit not a woman to teach or have authority over a man. There are parts of the bible that are nice and worth practicing, but calling it a divine revelation or the word of God, when it's so clearly written by men with an agenda, is a serious misappropriation. Many other religious texts have their good parts. The bible isn't unique or special in that regard.

Even if I was inclined to be religious, I'd never throw my lot in with a "holy scripture" that's openly hostile and demeaning to me just because of the accident of my biological sex.

And that's my $0.02.

This is one of the best worded arguments I've seen against biblical legitimacy.

And this. One of the largest reasons that the Bible clearly isn't divinely written: it's pretty clear that there is a TON of patriarchal influence in its words. And that a lot of those words don't work today.

Interestingly enough, there were a few "updates" to the Bible a few years ago, which was allegedly designed to make the Bible seem as "fair" as it could be. Such as changing the term "man" to "mankind" whenever possible, amongst other things. None of these things made a huge impact on the Bible, so nobody really made a huge fuss about it.

I believe the main problem with the Bible is how people -say- it should be interpreted. Novice Christians will tell you that if you follow what the Bible says -exactly-, then you'll have an instant access pass to Heaven. However, a more "experienced" Christian, having read that they should:

-Take people to the front of a village and stone them to death for misdeeds.
-Try to secretly rape a woman, and only have to marry her if you get caught by her father.
-Kill disobedient children.
-Completely shun and ban women from being out in public while on their periods (I can't say I disagree.)
-Kill entire groups of people for worshiping a different god.

And so on. After reading all of these things, or the various other laughably ridiculous things God has done or told others to do, someone who is determined to be Christian will probably tell you that you're supposed to fit the Bible into your lifestyle or whatever. A.K.A. Saying this and that and all of these are metaphors meant to teach greater lessons. While people who have read the Bible from the beginning all the way to the end, and are capable of -any- rational/logical thought, are usually Atheists.

I mean, sure the original Bible was said to be really hard to translate, but I doubt you could translate a peaceful feast into a massive massacre. Until people can honestly tell themselves how much of the Bible they think is worth listening to or giving their attention, I doubt there's going to be a more serious update anytime soon.

Also, when you consider what you'd say should and shouldn't be a sin in the Bible, mostly comes from the fact that you were born in this age. Saying pedophilia should be a sin in the Bible wouldn't make sense simply because man is beast, and beasts mate when they are able. Which is why as long as the person in question had functioning reproductive organs, it didn't really matter how old they were. It's just social mores and such over the years that even cause people to think that having relations with a 12 year old is the worst thing in the universe, even though these days it seems like you either screw them or let them screw each other.

I mean, I find the Bible in general to be a bunch of bullspit regardless. Then I find myself thinking that if all of these tales are indeed true, then God is an angry 6 year old who always has to get his way, or will send people to kill your family in front of you. (Or send you snakes and scorpions when you ask for food and water.) A lot of people say that the Bible isn't meant to be literal because it's told by many different men, but they were all allegedly following the word of God, which happens to be the most important thing, which would make it more or less completely valid based on that logic.(Allegedly.)

Drug abuse is no where near the same as rape and murder.

As is lying and fistfuck.

The Bible is never "updated" or changed, it's been the same for the last 1900+ years. people make new translations of it so that it uses more modern language, but the version they translate from (the original Hebrew version) never changes. If you want a true translation, read something like the "youngs literal transation", but if you want something easy to understand, read the New international version.



do you seriously think that the revelation quote is from a game (I'm curious which game it's in)?, The bible is almost 2000 years old! obviously the game quoted the bible. also, in the pledge of allegiance, we pledge to the flag of the united states of america, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God. um... the flag represents the USA, not God. The only thing it says about God is that our nation is under God.


I'll admit that there are alot of controversies in interpreting the bible, but most of these are minor. I believe that we have guilt when we sin, and that this guilt lets us know what's a sin and what's not. other stuff like baptism is not very important; I think that if it was important there would be very clear, detailed instructions about it. The bible is not flawed, and I believe that God protected His word during translations

Dude, the bible? fucking schizos.

You don't have to be the Bible to make a statement about life, death, and rebirth.

"The only thing it says about God is that our nation is under God." Yes. And some of us don't believe in a God, or a different God. The pledge is quite biased.

The Bible talks about a virgin giving birth, and how God has killed 2,476,633 people in the Bible, while Satan has killed 10, among other things. I realize that most of these stories are supposedly meant to be bullshit, and we're supposed to just take the morals(?) from them, but the execution? Even a newborn babe can tell it's bullshit.

The Bible? Oh yeah, always a hot topic. The Judeo-Christian, Islamic holy books are great centerpieces for a book library, but like always their content is questionable.

The inconsistencies and violence are glaringly obscene, and this is taught to our children in a safe place. Same place they drill our kids to think the Quran in the breeding book for terrorism, when the book is the calmer of the 3. Anyone that's actually read any from cover to cover know the deal.

Devout followers of all the religions love to find ('create') tie-ins between the three, but they all seem to be a bit scant. Keep in mind that these are all three completely different faiths, with different morale. Jewish Yahweh hates mankind and only loves to smite us for the most minute trespasses, the Christian god is triune, and Allah is one complete being which no one and nothing on earth is compared (negating the Christ's role). I have my own insane metaphysical ideas about this guy from sitting around a dwelling on it for years, but it's just nonsense if we weren't in the same mind frame.

On top of all of that, these three books are from different time periods, shape different cultures and contain separate ideals. I was telling someone earlier in the month that if you wanted the uncut 'unadulterated' Bible, go out and get an Apocrapha. They have the random books in there that don't make any fucking sense. That's the perfect 'Word of God'.

Thomas Paine explained it better. The prophets aren't credible; the term was warped, even. There's no reason for me to believe something that only has evidence inside it that I should submit. Half the books weren't even finished by the figures they filed them under, etc. Seems like a giant ploy for money. Muhammed got his meal ticket from the Quran. This nigga ran everything.

The Bible (let's call it the essential book, since everything else seems to revolve around it) does need to be revised if it hopes to pertain to the Here & Now of the world.

Now we have technology and have vastly different societal structure. If I cross God once, God forgives.

You know, I've typed up so many responses to this thread, but they were either uncalled for, or just filled with over-inflated information. So I'm going to try this.

The Bible is what the Bible is. As most of you stated, it can be a horrible thing, but it can also provide a means to "good natured" actions. The bottom line is, the bible is the bible and you shouldn't update it for one simple reason.

Think about it, if you were to change/update it, you would be taking something out of context just so that it can fit with your needs and wants, whether political or otherwise, and if one were to do that would they be any different from those in the past that excluded and selected what THEY believed to be important? Those very same individuals you are criticizing?

Stop trying to spin things so that it fits your view and instead entertain the idea that it may not work with your present day life.

Yes it's sexist, violent, and at times COMPLETELY appalling, but couple that with the dualistic opposites and you have what it is and nothing more. It took me years to accept the canonical contradictions of the new testament and harsh values of the Hebrew scriptures for what they are at face value. Instead of changing it, I tempt you to try to push past the rust of time and attempt to find true understanding of this collection of words and concepts you all seem to be very passionate about in one way or another. Just as long as you keep in mind that it is what it is, not what you want it to be.

Based upon the content of the bible, its guaranteed that not everything in there is true. There are so many manuscripts that are written about christianity that could be true that the pope censors because it doesn't suite his propaganda. And in the new testament, there are 4 stories all talking about the exact same topic (Jesus) but have radically different details and events (fate of Judas) among other things. None of them are written during the time of Christ.

I agree with Atrophical; No one should be trusted to rewrite or tamper with the bible. Even translations should not be fully trusted because the feeling and meaning we get from certain English words would not match exactly with the feeling one of the authors had upon completion of his part. Someone said earlier that the bible was changed by the Romans, that means that it is even more untrustworthy. Even though the bible is mutilated we can still find wisdom in it's text, changing it to confirm to our society would be doing what someone said the Romans did. Changing the bible is wrong. Theseus' Ship paradox applies, is the bible still the bible if parts have been omitted or changed? My answer is a strong NO. If you don't like the bible it's a paper back book and you can revise your own, stay the fuck away from mine and I'll do likewise.