The kids are not alright (Even in Canada)
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"Whats the problem with the kids nowadays" I think Socrates said something along those lines a couple of thousand years ago. Yet mankind hasn't reached extinction yet?
I can't quite see that kid problems have reached somekind of all time high. Albeit media has gotten stronger and that off course makes anything said kinda stick abit better.
I can't quite see that kid problems have reached somekind of all time high. Albeit media has gotten stronger and that off course makes anything said kinda stick abit better.
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Nashrakh wrote...
Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...
I have a theory; if you hit your kids when they're young, other people won't hit them when they're adults.Yeah, men will shoot and stab other people instead and women wind up in abusive relationships they can't get out of. The latter are usually beaten by others though.
What I want to say is - if you hit your kids, you teach them violence as an acceptable way of solving problems. So of course they won't get hit when they're adults, they are usually the ones to hit first, or even go beyond that.
i have seen proof of this. there were these two brothers in my neighborhood who had abusive parents who beat up their asses all the time. i ran into one of them much later and he still acted the same as when we were kids. i was stabbed by him later that day.*
All things in moderation.
*[size=10]i see what you did there. very funny**.[/h]
[size=8]**not really[/h]
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Takerial
Lovable Teddy Bear
Maven wrote...
Hmmm, two good topics to discuss here - discipline and media:Discipline, I think it all starts with Dr. Spock - we ended up with a generation of 'parents' who are more interested in being their kids friends than in being their parents. Kids need rules and discipline - and they need them while they are kids - without them, as several people have noted, they never grow-up, they stay the same selfish, self-centered idiots they were as children.
Over the last 30 years or so there has also been a slow but steady change to government thinking it can do a better job of raising your kids than you can - well we all know that's a joke, but look at the results. Schools don't teach, hell they won't fail a kid who doesn't know the work, parents have started looking on schools as day care and the internet as cheap baby-sitting. There is no supervision and little in the way of consequences. There is an empty townhouse next to mine, the previous tenants having just moved out. Two nights in a row there were load parties there, one night starting at 2 AM - turned out to be a bunch of teenagers who took the keys from one of their realtor mothers. When I tracked down the realtor's office the first thing she said to me was she didn't want to get the kid in trouble. WTF - a kid steals keys to a 500K house, has a party from 2 AM-4 AM (they were lucky - the kids didn't trash the place or destroy anything) and her first reaction is 'I don't want to get him in trouble'? He needs to be in trouble, should be in trouble, or he will never learn that there ARE consequences to his actions.
My wife was a elementary school teacher - she quit teaching - primarily because of the parents - if she tried to talk to a parent about behavior problems, the parents would (more often than not) jump all over her! Honestly thought that was her problem and why was she bothering them with it, or they simply went into denial and refused to believe there was a problem.
Actions do have consequences and its about time we started teaching that to our kids again. Hell if my teacher had called my dad about my behavior I would have had my ass kicked and I would have been in there the next day apologizing, not laughing about the teacher getting chewed out.
My mother is a special education teacher so I definately get what you are talking about with your wife as an elementary teacher.
Whenever I go home, I'll occassionally talk with her about what's been going on. Parents just don't seem to want to take responsibility anymore.
While I don't think kids should be physically disciplined (a little pop on the butt when they're a kid isn't what I'm talking about.) especially coming from when my father had a nasty habit of spanking me and my siblings if we weren't quiet enough. Not misbehaving, but if we got too loud for him apparently.
And he also would discipline ALL of us, not just the ones who were involved.
I was about a second away from hating that man.
Anyways. But yeah, physical discipline doesn't work for the most part.
Though the most important thing for discipline is that the kid needs to know WHY they are being disciplined. Easy enough concept but so many parents just don't get this.
Your kids aren't stupid by any means, but if you just randomly start punishing them for something you realize, but they don't, they don't constribute the punishment to the reason.
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Physical discipline is the easy way out, imo. It works, but it can have major repercussions. Ultimately children learn most skills from their parents, and I believe leading by example instils guiding morals which pretty much control what else they take in. There are things you can't control, of course, and there's an element of luck in how a child 'turns out', but you can and should only do so much.
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Well kids are fucking idiots nowadays thats all I can say. Ofc not all kids are idiots but a good chunk of them are.
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The term parenting is getting a lot of attention these days, but i think the problem lies in the disconnect between the parents as people and their duties. I believe children now are not receiving enough parenting from their parents. Far too many people think that just because they slammed their genitals together and somehow ended up with a child is now a parent. It is obvious that many of those people with offspring are completely unsuited to take care of their own children. An example i can offer is a so-called "parent" who have decided to become a HOT mom. What she does is to keep partying and drinking while she is pregnant! Another good example is another women who continually abuse their child in the form of overpowering perfume coupled with day excursions at malls and restaurants when clearly a month old baby should stay home. Often the child is struggling to breath and perpetually exhausted from the effort to stay alive. Likely if the woman had proper family doctor that she goes to the child may live but will probably be hooked up to a machine or have permanent asthma.
Those examples i provided i think offers a good argument that the poor performance and dangers that children experiences now days stem from the poor performance of their parents. Either there is a lack of parenting or worse they are learning it from their parents, who then transfer those faults to their peers.
tl;dr Poor "parents" results in poor performance of the next generation.
Those examples i provided i think offers a good argument that the poor performance and dangers that children experiences now days stem from the poor performance of their parents. Either there is a lack of parenting or worse they are learning it from their parents, who then transfer those faults to their peers.
tl;dr Poor "parents" results in poor performance of the next generation.
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There's also the single-parent family problem.
My mum - bless her - married a bastard. I won't go into all the rotten things he did, but he was one. She tried to make it work as long as she could, but ultimately wasn't willing to put herself or her children through his bullshit, and divorced him.
He was a deadbeat, of course, so she had to work long hours for most of my life to pay the bills. This meant that my sister and I were either left with our grandparents (who didn't know the first thing about disciplining children; my mother and her sister raised themselves) until 7-8PM, or we'd be in an otherwise empty house until then.
Essentially, no parental presence at all outside the weekends.
It shows in our lives. Honestly, I'm astonished that I turned out so (relatively) well-adjusted.
edit: What I'm getting at is, the parent may simply have no choice in the lack of parenting they give their kids.
My mum - bless her - married a bastard. I won't go into all the rotten things he did, but he was one. She tried to make it work as long as she could, but ultimately wasn't willing to put herself or her children through his bullshit, and divorced him.
He was a deadbeat, of course, so she had to work long hours for most of my life to pay the bills. This meant that my sister and I were either left with our grandparents (who didn't know the first thing about disciplining children; my mother and her sister raised themselves) until 7-8PM, or we'd be in an otherwise empty house until then.
Essentially, no parental presence at all outside the weekends.
It shows in our lives. Honestly, I'm astonished that I turned out so (relatively) well-adjusted.
edit: What I'm getting at is, the parent may simply have no choice in the lack of parenting they give their kids.
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i agree with parents esp in western cultures not caring enough/ getting involved and monitoring their kids. and the media blows this out of proportion as well... with all the crap they show on tv and influence kids.
i think its better that parents become close to their kids and teach them the proper way to behave etc.. when they are young.. so at least if they kids get exposed to all the idiots during their teen years.. at least they'll be mature enough to not pick up any shit...
i think its better that parents become close to their kids and teach them the proper way to behave etc.. when they are young.. so at least if they kids get exposed to all the idiots during their teen years.. at least they'll be mature enough to not pick up any shit...
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CloudGx20 wrote...
Kids are easy to trick.Just give them some lolipop then done.They will obey me now.And the next thing u know u will be lying on the street naked with lolipop on your private parts. Seriously some kids 'matured' too faz and become sickos.
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one thing that should have never happend. child services. sure there is the something like ,01 percent that benefits from it but the main thing it did was hand americas youth unlimited get our of jail free tickets. im only 20 and i realise this. hell i myself might turned out a little better if my dad was allowed to take a belt to me once in a while. and not only that, tho whole damn contry is going to hell. its meanings and ideals are geting distorted to hell. personally i think another depression will be a good thing for the country. it will weed out the week. i mean our heart and soul was forged in the last one and if we did it back then without all our fancy microchips we can sure as hell do it today.
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Maven's post has a lot of truth to it. In an age where the media crams political correctness down society's willing throats, parents have become too cautious and afraid of taking the assertive responsibility that is required in raising children. The wrathful side of parenting is as necessary as the loving side; kids need to be physically disciplined so that they realize what they are doing is wrong, but they need to be shown affection as well so that they do not think of the punishment as unjust. I myself was raised as such, often times receiving a belt to the behind or a spatula (yes, a spatula) to the hand and a stern lecture afterwards, being reminded that my mother "did not enjoy doing this," that she hurt me because "I needed to learn a lesson." While I'm no Gandhi I owe it to my mother and father for making me into the sensible person I am today.
And then there are the parents who have no part in their child's upbringing, but I suppose that matter speaks for itself.
And then there are the parents who have no part in their child's upbringing, but I suppose that matter speaks for itself.
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-zero-dream wrote...
CloudGx20 wrote...
Kids are easy to trick.Just give them some lolipop then done.They will obey me now.And the next thing u know u will be lying on the street naked with lolipop on your private parts. Seriously some kids 'matured' too faz and become sickos.
Not,if you do something about it.!?
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CloudGx20 wrote...
-zero-dream wrote...
CloudGx20 wrote...
Kids are easy to trick.Just give them some lolipop then done.They will obey me now.And the next thing u know u will be lying on the street naked with lolipop on your private parts. Seriously some kids 'matured' too faz and become sickos.
Not,if you do something about it.!?
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I hate kids...D= I have alot of siblings. =3= And I grew up in ghetto places switching to medium to lower class then a few months from 2009 I moved back to medium. So I had to go to the area's school's except high school was normal (not many bad kids_) And I know what those little turds are like. =-= Nothing but bullies, superficial teens, groups and gangs and just...ugh. Fuck Im so glad to be outta middle or heck all the bad schools I went to. =-= I should have thrown confetti in the air at my graduation....=.= Kids nowadays I dont really know whats up with them~They do seems to be getting ahead of themselves. And I dont particulary like urgg..I cant think of the official word but violence as a means for punishment. But I certainly think a little should be involved along with proper discipline but also the parent should do activities and spend time with there children and learn to be an effin parent so we dont have to sit here complaining about there products of hard-work. It all starts with the parents whether you want to believe it or not.
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Every generation complains about the corruption of the youth, etc etc etc. Individual people are always going to present examples of squandered opportunity, and yes, times change, but I think in general people just buy into the hype and overreact when they declare that morality is dying and such. Each generation tends to be different than the last, but that doesn't mean society is collapsing.
The user formerly known as gibbous contributed a quote to one of these threads about how the youths are being corrupted and society will be ruined that is attributed to Socrates. Several thousand years later, society has yet to implode.
The user formerly known as gibbous contributed a quote to one of these threads about how the youths are being corrupted and society will be ruined that is attributed to Socrates. Several thousand years later, society has yet to implode.
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-zero-dream wrote...
CloudGx20 wrote...
-zero-dream wrote...
CloudGx20 wrote...
Kids are easy to trick.Just give them some lolipop then done.They will obey me now.And the next thing u know u will be lying on the street naked with lolipop on your private parts. Seriously some kids 'matured' too faz and become sickos.
Not,if you do something about it.!?
Easier said then done, do when they are young and they dun giv a shit. Do too late they also dun give a shit. So actually when is the ACTUAL time we need educate/punish/etc on them?
Yup!That`s right!
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I keep hearing discipline, but isn't it an issue of understanding? god that sounds gay, but what I mean so to say is, if kids simply had a better understanding of there own identity then wouldn't they be less likely to things that are obviously wrong later on? sorry if that sounds confusing but I'm still putting my thoughts together.
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CPOK wrote...
I was raised with the belt being an option of punishment and it worked. Now my sister and her husband can't use a belt as a punishment because they would get there arses tossed in gaol. The town where I grew up as a teenager was safe and all that stuff...now I wouldn't step in there without a platoon of soldiers in full kit as a bare minimum...all because physical punishment is no longer allowed (even a open hand smack on the bum) and it is only going to get worse.That's quite a shame... but luckily, at least it doesn't apply to families like mine. I'm still a teenager (16), but I was beat up a lot whenever I made mistakes by my mom (dropping rice, spilling water, making mistakes on the piano). My parents are from China, so everything worked out fine.
Sure I got disciplined pretty heavily by my mom when I was young, and it was sort of painful then, but the result really appears best now. I'm doing fine in school with a perfect GPA, good in music, sports, trilingual, and I have some very keen interests (hentai :S)
So, specifically for my situation, it worked out really well because my mother knew HOW to discipline me. Never throughout my childhood did I believe she didn't care for me. Most often she would comfort me after she beat me to reassure she still loved me.
As for the legal situation, that problem never existed. Even though my dad didn't like some of the rages my mom had, and even encouraged me to report her to the police on a few occasions. But, we're immigrants, and I was raised to not trust the police, so you never would have seen me using the police as a threat.
Of course, now I have different views about the police, and also I don't get disciplined anymore. Just because I sort of aged out of it. My mom and I are very close.
In general, I think there is not only a good way to discipline, but a CORRECT way to.
Unfortunately, it seems most people in the U.S. just don't really know how. Despite my mom being Chinese, I don't think my situation is purely cultural. I hope it is possible for other families (white families especially, since they are the majority) to grasp on how to practice correct discipline effectively in the subject of bringing up children.
Ehhh...that was a strange rant, but I think important.
Edit: I wanted to add this as a second post. But fakku keeps saying I'm double posting.
Nashrakh wrote...
Mr.Shaggnificent wrote...
I have a theory; if you hit your kids when they're young, other people won't hit them when they're adults.Yeah, men will shoot and stab other people instead and women wind up in abusive relationships they can't get out of. The latter are usually beaten by others though.
What I want to say is - if you hit your kids, you teach them violence as an acceptable way of solving problems. So of course they won't get hit when they're adults, they are usually the ones to hit first, or even go beyond that.
i have seen proof of this. there were these two brothers in my neighborhood who had abusive parents who beat up their asses all the time. i ran into one of them much later and he still acted the same as when we were kids. i was stabbed by him later that day.
Hey, sorry for first posting before reading this post first.
But your point of discussion is very valid. Your example is what I call an example of INCORRECT discipline. Of course, I am a bit biased from how I was raised.