I'm working on an eroge
0
So, I'm working on a visual novel called Golden Roses. It's still not near finished, but I'm working on getting a demo out by summer of 2013. Keep in mind I haven't completely fleshed out the story or characters and I'm totally open to suggestion.
It's your standard "player character moves to his hometown and finds a girlfriend" story.
You play as a 3rd year student named Tarou Ikeda who has moved back to his unnamed hometown with his widowed father after he gets married to his divorced high school sweetheart (who happens to have a daughter the same age as Tarou). He's enrolled at Golden Rose Academy, the private high school that his father and step mother went to.
There are 10 different girls to choose from in this game, all of which have their own personalities and stories.
A) Ichikawa Yuria - The tomboy, who loves to play baseball. She has to play on the boy's team since there is no girl's team. She dreams of moving to America to play in the big leagues.
B) Fukusawa Megumi - School idol, student coucil president. very ladylike and demure. but she's not who everyone thinks she is.
C) Yamada Tomoko - A secret otaku. She loves anime and video games, but due to the stigma attached to the culture, she tries her best to hide it.
D) Hayagawa Chisami - A shy, troubled girl. She cries easily and is very unapproachable. spends most of her time in the library; she loves to read.
E) Iwata Ruriko - The class rep and twin sister of Tarou's best friend, Fujio. She's a bit bossy and demanding, but means well. I haven't worked at her character too much yet.
F) Nakashima Yumi - the manic pixie dream girl. a bit ditzy and clumsy, but very friendly and outgoing. willing to try anything. but she hides a tragic secret...
G) Kudou Sumie - Yandere. Seems sweet and shy on the outside, but if someone gets between her and what she wants, she can be deadly. Warning: paying her too much attention will trigger her route and if you try to go after another girl after that, you may not like the results...
H) Okamura Hanako - A quiet, spacey girl. She loves nature, especially flora. She works in a flower shop. She prefers potted plants to clipped flowers, as clipped plants will die. I still need to work out some of her story
I) Kamitani Kyoumi - A rebel and punk. She smokes and spends most of her time on the roof or anywhere she can be alone. She keeps to herself and is difficult to get to know. But there's a reason she's like this...
J) Nemoto Shizuru - Tarou's step-sister. a classic tsundere. I haven't fleshed out her character too much just yet.
EDIT!!
Here's a picture of how all the eligible girls will look in game. I made a few changes in some character designs.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For more information, see my deviantArt page here: Hime-Takamura on deviantART
For exclusive sneak peeks, like my facebook page: Hime Takamura Manga | Facebook
Please post your thoughts and suggestions (be gentle!)
Spoiler:
It's your standard "player character moves to his hometown and finds a girlfriend" story.
You play as a 3rd year student named Tarou Ikeda who has moved back to his unnamed hometown with his widowed father after he gets married to his divorced high school sweetheart (who happens to have a daughter the same age as Tarou). He's enrolled at Golden Rose Academy, the private high school that his father and step mother went to.
There are 10 different girls to choose from in this game, all of which have their own personalities and stories.
Spoiler:
A) Ichikawa Yuria - The tomboy, who loves to play baseball. She has to play on the boy's team since there is no girl's team. She dreams of moving to America to play in the big leagues.
B) Fukusawa Megumi - School idol, student coucil president. very ladylike and demure. but she's not who everyone thinks she is.
C) Yamada Tomoko - A secret otaku. She loves anime and video games, but due to the stigma attached to the culture, she tries her best to hide it.
D) Hayagawa Chisami - A shy, troubled girl. She cries easily and is very unapproachable. spends most of her time in the library; she loves to read.
E) Iwata Ruriko - The class rep and twin sister of Tarou's best friend, Fujio. She's a bit bossy and demanding, but means well. I haven't worked at her character too much yet.
F) Nakashima Yumi - the manic pixie dream girl. a bit ditzy and clumsy, but very friendly and outgoing. willing to try anything. but she hides a tragic secret...
G) Kudou Sumie - Yandere. Seems sweet and shy on the outside, but if someone gets between her and what she wants, she can be deadly. Warning: paying her too much attention will trigger her route and if you try to go after another girl after that, you may not like the results...
H) Okamura Hanako - A quiet, spacey girl. She loves nature, especially flora. She works in a flower shop. She prefers potted plants to clipped flowers, as clipped plants will die. I still need to work out some of her story
I) Kamitani Kyoumi - A rebel and punk. She smokes and spends most of her time on the roof or anywhere she can be alone. She keeps to herself and is difficult to get to know. But there's a reason she's like this...
J) Nemoto Shizuru - Tarou's step-sister. a classic tsundere. I haven't fleshed out her character too much just yet.
EDIT!!
Here's a picture of how all the eligible girls will look in game. I made a few changes in some character designs.
Spoiler:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For more information, see my deviantArt page here: Hime-Takamura on deviantART
For exclusive sneak peeks, like my facebook page: Hime Takamura Manga | Facebook
Please post your thoughts and suggestions (be gentle!)
0
I would suggest adding in non coloured versions of your pictures. Beyond that its a matter of getting better at colouring. But even then good work.
If you are capable of criticism. THe picture of I it seems her brasts are a bit low it makes me think she has saggy tits. A neck seems a bit long but overall a picture I like. But safe to say the concept art of all the girls are nice save for J for a personal preference never seemed to enjoy the double screw. But it seems the one screw seems to pique my fancy.
If you are capable of criticism. THe picture of I it seems her brasts are a bit low it makes me think she has saggy tits. A neck seems a bit long but overall a picture I like. But safe to say the concept art of all the girls are nice save for J for a personal preference never seemed to enjoy the double screw. But it seems the one screw seems to pique my fancy.
0
I love when people make their own h-games/eroge, ill definitely keep an eye on your progress. I like the variance of different girls... and the inclusion of a yandere(though i find her to be the least attractive of all the girls *sadface*). I really like your art too, cant wait to see how this turns out.
0
well, i hope it is good quality.
not the quality they used back in 1990-2000, this is kinda poor quality. and i hope it is not to pixelated, like a zoomed in image by 50%
but it would be a great idea to make one.
not the quality they used back in 1990-2000, this is kinda poor quality. and i hope it is not to pixelated, like a zoomed in image by 50%
but it would be a great idea to make one.
0
darknessblade wrote...
this is kinda poor qualityRemember this is being made by a person on his/her own accord with no financial backing any company on his/her side or clients helping him/her work it's completely independent. Also, it's not even done, so none of us are to judge before it's finished, even then all we can do is criticize when it's 'finished'.
Anyways, it sounds pretty good. It's a generic tale, but it's a good start. Better to start with a simple recipe than a 20-tier high complex.
To be honest, I love all the current bios of the girls. Puts out a front to look normal, but some of them have a darker side to them. I mean isn't that how most eroges are? For Chisami I can already imagine a scene for her route.
Spoiler:
I also like the expression of Tomoko's face.
You nailed the Yandere in there! (No pun intended) Her appearance and complexion is nice, but I feel like as somewhat stated earlier, she's lesser in the attractiveness scale. I also mistook her for a moment, I thought she had a hobby fixing cars or something with that hammer. Just some friendly criticism. First, the hair; it's kinda boring, and unattractive. Yandere's are sorta sex-crazed but insane-wacko as shit right? So here's my suggestion that you don't at all have to listen care or even think about, but it's my personal opinion.
Spoiler:
Keep in mind this is all just friendly opinionated criticisms, you don't have to read, follow, or even care about it.
0
Is the setting/culture Japanese?
I suggest expressing a culture that you're familiar with, like your own.
Some details in Katawa Shoujo can be uncanny like the names were weird and other things felt a little off. It was like that until I got into Emi's route (only route I finished).
I enjoyed that single playthrough, but when something was off, it was immersion-breaking. The little details are important.
Just throwing that in. :)
I suggest expressing a culture that you're familiar with, like your own.
Some details in Katawa Shoujo can be uncanny like the names were weird and other things felt a little off. It was like that until I got into Emi's route (only route I finished).
Spoiler:
I enjoyed that single playthrough, but when something was off, it was immersion-breaking. The little details are important.
Just throwing that in. :)
0
Genrazn wrote...
I would suggest adding in non coloured versions of your pictures. Beyond that its a matter of getting better at colouring. But even then good work. If you are capable of criticism. THe picture of I it seems her brasts are a bit low it makes me think she has saggy tits. A neck seems a bit long but overall a picture I like. But safe to say the concept art of all the girls are nice save for J for a personal preference never seemed to enjoy the double screw. But it seems the one screw seems to pique my fancy.
The sketches are just that; sketches. I assure you, the end product will look much better. I have some in game pictures on the facebook page.
0
Wow, an independent VN project? I sure hope I can get to play it once it's released,
I personally think the art isn't all that refined, providing that is an independent project, but I guess it's good enough to pull people in, hmmm.
Do you have any demo for the game yet, yeah I know you've said it will be one in the summer, but it looks really interesting, or you have just have the general idea and those models for the game? Anyway, looking forward to it.
Are you going to introduce it in some kind of convention?
I personally think the art isn't all that refined, providing that is an independent project, but I guess it's good enough to pull people in, hmmm.
Do you have any demo for the game yet, yeah I know you've said it will be one in the summer, but it looks really interesting, or you have just have the general idea and those models for the game? Anyway, looking forward to it.
Are you going to introduce it in some kind of convention?
0
I can understand Yandere but still why a hammer?
I like Ruriko's look. Some of them look a bit stiff like Megumi reminds me of when I was traumatized by huge eyes in Mars that was in my public library. Didn't read manga back then but it scared me a lot. Art in VN seems to be all about the poses and expressions for the main heroine sprites. A few good ones pretty much define a VN.
One big question is what level of commitment you want to spend on this game. Katawa Shoujo took forever and you probably don't want to waste 5 years of your life trying to make a presentable game unless you are serious.
Having 10 heroines is too much. Even 1-2 routes is really fine. 10 heroines will make it hard to have a consistent heroine or independent storylines. Try to base things off of relevant VNs to try to figure what kind of scheme you want to do for the routes and endings. If you want to do it like a fandisk (simply select a route) it would be much easier to do 10 heroines. Keep in mind Yandere's often don't make for happy endings like School days.
I like Ruriko's look. Some of them look a bit stiff like Megumi reminds me of when I was traumatized by huge eyes in Mars that was in my public library. Didn't read manga back then but it scared me a lot. Art in VN seems to be all about the poses and expressions for the main heroine sprites. A few good ones pretty much define a VN.
One big question is what level of commitment you want to spend on this game. Katawa Shoujo took forever and you probably don't want to waste 5 years of your life trying to make a presentable game unless you are serious.
Having 10 heroines is too much. Even 1-2 routes is really fine. 10 heroines will make it hard to have a consistent heroine or independent storylines. Try to base things off of relevant VNs to try to figure what kind of scheme you want to do for the routes and endings. If you want to do it like a fandisk (simply select a route) it would be much easier to do 10 heroines. Keep in mind Yandere's often don't make for happy endings like School days.
0
EDIT!!
Here's a picture of how all the eligible girls will look in game. I made a few changes in some character designs.
Here's a picture of how all the eligible girls will look in game. I made a few changes in some character designs.
Spoiler:
0
This looks very promising, but I think the most important thing is to take your time and make sure you think its the best it can be.
0
I agree with taking your time and do a great job. You should just give your best, hope all will be well afterwards. And don't rush.
Will wait for this VN impatiently. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to play an independent VN. Good luck with everything.
Will wait for this VN impatiently. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to play an independent VN. Good luck with everything.
0
I'm definitely taking my time with it. I keep going back and editing and trying to make it less corny. I'm scared that I'll hype it up a lot and no one will like it when it comes out... T_T
0
Considering that you plan to take years? With multiple routes and gals. All done by yourself? Getting it out in a timely manner does seem highly unlikely.
0
[size=14][color=black][font=Times New Roman]I wish you luck my friend. It might be an idea to appeal somewhere to get yourself some helpers and stuff, I mean if I could I would help but sadly I am talent-less. Anyway I shall look forward to the release of your game.[/font][/color][/h]
0
eh, unfortunately I don't work well in groups. I have had some outside help with small stuff like story suggestions and music, but all of the art and writing is done by me.
