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Your Opinion on Visual Novel I'm Planning
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This is a project for which I am splitting costs with a couple friends, which we all felt like doing because it's based on a true story a guy told us (he gave us permission to do it as long as he remained anonymous)
Okay:
There's a guy whose mother was beaten by his father, and after a month she cannot take that anymore and takes them to a domestic abuse shelter. While there, the guy meets a girl a few years older than him (say, he's eight and she's ten) and he develops a light crush and she reciprocates the attention, but eventually, both move out without anything happening.
He goes on to become a C.P.A., and eventually gets a job at the shelter he stayed at as a kid. After about a year, the same person who he was attracted to as a kid gets a job at the shelter as well.
Now in between that time, this guy has been slowly becoming insane. Fat, obsessive, self-destructive, minor drugs habits, etc. So instead of directly approaching her, he spends three years trying to clean himself up, get in shape, and reaches a point where he feels confident enough to approach her (He has seen the pictures she keeps on her desk change several times in this process as she goes through boyfriends.) She is receptive, and they start a relationship. (Secret, to keep their jobs at the shelter)
Eventually, she tells him she has a very disturbing fetish, and it is the reason why she has gone through several relationships in the past three years: she likes to cut men. Sort of like the BME Pain Olympics stuff, only inflicting it on someone else. She doesn't spring this on him one night in bed or anything, and it is something that makes her feel ashamed. But he decides to let her try it on him because otherwise she is mostly sexually unresponsive to him. Of course it turns out he doesn't secretly have a kink for it himself, but he sees that it has made her orgasm. What will he do now?
Now, having read all that, would you be interested if I submitted the story here when we finish it?
Thanks for taking the time to read all that.
Okay:
There's a guy whose mother was beaten by his father, and after a month she cannot take that anymore and takes them to a domestic abuse shelter. While there, the guy meets a girl a few years older than him (say, he's eight and she's ten) and he develops a light crush and she reciprocates the attention, but eventually, both move out without anything happening.
He goes on to become a C.P.A., and eventually gets a job at the shelter he stayed at as a kid. After about a year, the same person who he was attracted to as a kid gets a job at the shelter as well.
Now in between that time, this guy has been slowly becoming insane. Fat, obsessive, self-destructive, minor drugs habits, etc. So instead of directly approaching her, he spends three years trying to clean himself up, get in shape, and reaches a point where he feels confident enough to approach her (He has seen the pictures she keeps on her desk change several times in this process as she goes through boyfriends.) She is receptive, and they start a relationship. (Secret, to keep their jobs at the shelter)
Eventually, she tells him she has a very disturbing fetish, and it is the reason why she has gone through several relationships in the past three years: she likes to cut men. Sort of like the BME Pain Olympics stuff, only inflicting it on someone else. She doesn't spring this on him one night in bed or anything, and it is something that makes her feel ashamed. But he decides to let her try it on him because otherwise she is mostly sexually unresponsive to him. Of course it turns out he doesn't secretly have a kink for it himself, but he sees that it has made her orgasm. What will he do now?
Now, having read all that, would you be interested if I submitted the story here when we finish it?
Thanks for taking the time to read all that.
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I thought a visual novel was something with porno pics and multiple choice answers which led to either sex or cruel rejection....
That aside, I can only talk about this as a guy who writes/reads a lot, and to be frank, I really like it. That stuff in the beginning sounded routine, the part where he got fat and addicted to slight drugs made me not even want to think of this guy in bed with a girl, but what won me 100% over was that part at the end.
-A woman enjoying pain inflicted upon herself is controversial (mass society would rather have a guy get hurt in bed than a woman ...They're sexist like that). This being the case, having her inflict it upon him is actually pretty safe despite the "Pain Olympics" style bed-play.
--If this is a story it will get my vote. The domestic abuse, the drugs and fatness-BLEH! The awkward kink that may or may not lead to serious and/or comical discussions about the human psyche*? FUCK YES! ...Though if this is meant to have pictures, there won't be many willing to play/read through this...sorry.
* I say human psyche because the readers will chomp at the bit for the answer to "Why does she get off on this?" Severe kink (Choking, beating, etc.) must always have an explanation if its in a story. The way you tell it leads me to believe you'll have a well written backstory for the main character's lover, thus, you got my support.
That aside, I can only talk about this as a guy who writes/reads a lot, and to be frank, I really like it. That stuff in the beginning sounded routine, the part where he got fat and addicted to slight drugs made me not even want to think of this guy in bed with a girl, but what won me 100% over was that part at the end.
-A woman enjoying pain inflicted upon herself is controversial (mass society would rather have a guy get hurt in bed than a woman ...They're sexist like that). This being the case, having her inflict it upon him is actually pretty safe despite the "Pain Olympics" style bed-play.
--If this is a story it will get my vote. The domestic abuse, the drugs and fatness-BLEH! The awkward kink that may or may not lead to serious and/or comical discussions about the human psyche*? FUCK YES! ...Though if this is meant to have pictures, there won't be many willing to play/read through this...sorry.
* I say human psyche because the readers will chomp at the bit for the answer to "Why does she get off on this?" Severe kink (Choking, beating, etc.) must always have an explanation if its in a story. The way you tell it leads me to believe you'll have a well written backstory for the main character's lover, thus, you got my support.
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Well, for a Visual Novel, I don't think this'd work so well. As a story itself, I think it'd be OK. The target audience might be a bit slim, but it might be amusing enough to hold interest to those not that interested in that kinda thing. Enough so that they'll keep reading.
As for me, would I read it? Sure. I'm just not sure for how long. You would have to be very careful on how you went about it.
Simple answer; Sure, but tread carefully.
As for me, would I read it? Sure. I'm just not sure for how long. You would have to be very careful on how you went about it.
Simple answer; Sure, but tread carefully.
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In my opinion the concept just sounds OK, Sorry but im just not wowed by it TBH.
Both of them getting jobs in the shelter, I think it would be better if it was somehow deeper (More choice of outcomes) like he was friends with lots of girls in the shelter or whatever and they all have different circumstances ETC. (I really dont know how those places work so... :S)
There could even be an older love interest.
One question, Is it going to be a multiple choice Visual Novel where I could play through or is it gonna be a scrolling through *Click *Click *Click story type of Visual Novel?
Anyway, Id like to see whatever you come up with though.
Both of them getting jobs in the shelter, I think it would be better if it was somehow deeper (More choice of outcomes) like he was friends with lots of girls in the shelter or whatever and they all have different circumstances ETC. (I really dont know how those places work so... :S)
There could even be an older love interest.
One question, Is it going to be a multiple choice Visual Novel where I could play through or is it gonna be a scrolling through *Click *Click *Click story type of Visual Novel?
Anyway, Id like to see whatever you come up with though.
