Finding the right S?

please read this if you have some spare time and plese give a feedback cuz its my first work thanks :D
oh and this contains no H

Ch 1

On one bright morning he was standing at in the veranda. Inhaling the morning fresh air while stretching his arm.
"Kyousuke you'll be late for school!" his mom shouted "coming!" he replied.
A few moments later after he has finished changing to his school uniform, "breakfast is ready!" his mom shouted
"Yes!" he replied after he got down his mother had already prepared the food for him, "hmm... smells good mom!" he said
"Of course! It’s your favorite! We will have that to dinner too" his mom said
"onii-chan is Tomoko-neesan also coming over today?" said Mamoru. "Well what do you think? She comes here everyday doesn’t she? So why ask?" he said
Then someone knocks on the door "I’ll get it it's probably nee-chan!" said Mamoru
"Ah... neechan! I knew you're also coming today! Tee-hee.. Come in were having breakfast now!" she continued
"Sure!" said Tomoko
She came in and they headed towards the dining table and saw Kyousuke eating "oh! Tomoko-chan c'mon lets eat breakfast" said Kyousukes mom.
*
A brief explanation of character(s)
Suzuki, Mamoru- the little sister of Kyousuke, a first-year middle schooler
Has brown hair which is always on twin-tails and has deep black eyes
Suguru, Tomoko- she's a friend of Kyousuke since middle school. A second-year student, a neighbor and a classmate of Kyousuke in Prism Gakuen.
She has a long blonde hair with blue eyes and a bit taller than Kyousuke
*
"C’mon lets eat nee-chan" said Mamoru "ok ok I’ll eat now" she replied, "do I look like a kid who has to be fetched every morning?" said Kyousuke
"You don't have to be so mean its just that were neighbors and I have no one to go to school with," she said with a half angry face
"And you should be happy that I take care of you! Right Mamoru and auntie?" she continued while smiling brightly at the two.
The two nodded "she's right Kyousuke ever since she moved here she has been taking care of you." said his mom with a tone of scolding
"Hey don’t be mean on nee-chan nii-chan!" said Mamoru
"Alright I lost already" he said
"hey Kyousuke?" said tomoko while looking at him seriously "what is it?" he asked "you know you sure eat a lot for breakfast.... that’s your fourth serving of rice..." she said with a bit of amazement
"Why’d you ask that now? You see me everyday eating like this” he said while munching "ahh... I’m full that’s a great meal!" he said then he stood up and look at the clock "oh crap! I’ve over eaten again! C’mon tomoko let's go” he said while hurriedly got his bag
"Bye mom, see ya later Mamoru" he said as he was putting on his shoes
"Thanks for the food aunt it was delicious and see you later Mamoru" Tomoko said while patting Mamorus head

They run towards the school because they were gonna be late
"Hey Kyousuke! Slowdown will you?! My skirt is being blown!" she said and then they stopped running
"Eh? so-sorry about that I can’t help it we're gonna be late" he said
"Ok let’s run in a much less speed alright?" she said
"Yeah lets" he answered
As they are running again they held hands without knowing.

As they arrived from school they catch their breath
"Hah...hahh.... we still made it in time Tomoko...hah...hah..."he said
"Hah...haha....I guess so... hah..." she said
And then he noticed that he was holding her hand and said
"Uhmm... Tomoko... you can let go now.."
"Oh sorry about that I guess that we held each other while running... haha" she said while letting go
As Kyousuke was gonna say something he heard running noises behind him
"DONT TELL ME?!” he said in a trembling voice
"KYOUSUKE!!!! GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!" screamed the girl who was running and jumped on the back of Kyousuke.
BLAG!
He fell on the floor. With a girl on his back
"Ouch....not this again Yui... do I have to go through this everyday?" he said
"Don't be so mean Kyousuke!" said Yui as she was standing
"Sigh” said Kyousuke who stood up a bit later

'Ding dong'

The bell rang and then they went to their classroom.

*In the classroom*

The teacher got to the classroom and said "OK everyone get back to your seat it's class time!"
The students got back to their seats and so begins lecture.
At the end of the lecture the teacher said "you must understand this thing because it's coming out of the test!"
"Eeeh?" grumbled everyone
As soon as the class ended Kyousuke looked so depressed and said "Ugh.... The worst part of school is yet to come..."
"Ara! Hey Kyousuke why are you looking so depressed?" asked Yui while walking towards Kyousuke
"Do you really need to ask Yui?" he said then sighed
"Don't worry I'll help you study!" She said
"My my having trouble again Kyousuke?" said the guy that was sitting in front of him
"Hi Sunichi! As usual Kyousuke is depressed because of the upcoming test” said Yui
"How nice to have a cute tutor” said Sunichi while giving 'the look' on Kyousuke
"What’s that supposed to mean?" asked Kyousuke
"I don’t know.. You just have the top one in our class to be your tutor” said Sunichi while spinning the pen in his hand
"Ugh... I forgot that she IS the top one..."Kyousuke said in his mind
"Tomoko-chan lets go to Kyousukes house after class ok?" asked Yui
"Sure!" Tomoko answered with a smile
Yui was exited because it's the first time that she will come to Kyousukes house
"Hey, hey don't go off deciding what you wanna do.” said Kyousuke while frowning
"Eeh? So you don't want to study?” said the smirking Yui
"No it’s not like that.." said Kyousuke
"Ugh I have a bad feeling about this... and doesn’t Yui only want to get in my house?” asked Kyousuke to himself
"Oh! Kyousuke come to the rooftop at lunch you too Yui and Sunichi, Let's have lunch together!" said tomoko
"Sorry but I have some things to do at lunch so I won't be joining I'm really sorry" said Sunichi
"That a shame... well anyways if you happen to be free we will be up there till the breaks over ok?" said Yui with a smile
"Ok" said Sunichi
*
A brief explanation of character(s)
Tomoe, Sunichi - The guy sitting in front of Kyousuke and also a close friend of his. An understanding person
Has black hair and brown eyes
Sagahara, Yui - the top one of their class even though she doesn’t look like the studious type because she is so immature
Has a short blue hair and crystal blue eyes
*

*Lunch Break*

Kyousuke went to the rooftop to eat lunch and thinking "what is our lunch for today? Hmm... Since Tomoko made it I guess it would be delicious but Yui's cooking...".
He suddenly had a shiver "I don't wanna be reminded of that time".
As he was thinking about that he reached the rooftop

"You're so slow Kyousuke! I'm hungry!” said Yui and Tomoko nodded and the other girl also nodded in a mellow fashion
"Yeah yeah! I know I'm slow" he said and he noticed the unfamiliar girl and said while getting closer to them "Uhmm... may I ask who are you?"
The girl stood up and greeted him in a formal way "Nice to meet you I'm Souichiro Misato" after saying her name she bowed
"Nice to meet you too Misato. And don't be so formal even though I'm your senpai ok?" he said as he was sitting down
"Y-Yes senpai...."said Misato then Yui stood up and said with a bright smile "She's my friend I asked her to join us! Right Misato?".
"Y-Yes..." Misato answered in a mellow voice "Now now! Don't be shy Misato." said Tomoko "Now then shall we take out the bentou's?" Tomoko added
"This is our lunch today!" Tomoko said while taking out the bentou. The foods were packed and looked delicious.
"Wow! This looks sooo good Tomoko!" said Yui with sparkling eyes
"Wow...looks delicious..." said misato with a mellow tone and a surprised face
"Well... that's to be expected it's Tomoko after all!" said Kyousuke then he took a bite
"Uhmm... I wonder why she is always eating at our house every morning...? She can really cook well..."he continued and still taking a bite
"That's cuz auntie always say that I should have breakfast there!” replied the pouting Tomoko
"Hey hey no don’t get mad I'm just playing with you! Ahaha!" laughed out Kyousuke
"Oh yeah.. Hey Misato?" he asked
"Yes senpai?" she replied before she took a bite
"How did you and Yui met each other? I mean you’re a year younger than us.." he said
"We.." before Misato could finish her word Yui butted in and said while holding the chopsticks upward "We live in the same neighborhood and we came from the same middle school. Right Misato?"
"Y-Yes senpai and we always go home together.” replied Misato while looking at Yui
"Uhmmm... Tomoko-senpai?" asked Misato. As Misato asks this someone... is rushing towards the rooftop...


end of ch 1

EDIT: put up some description of characters

hmm lets see..a few typo's...
it was like an anime which is both good and bad
i would like to see a description of the characters
(ie:hair, eyes, body type(tall, thin,among other things))
but all in all it wasn't bad it seems to be to much like an anime
which like i said can be bad cuz of the originality...

It was Interesting. A High School Fic like mine, Awesome!


Anyways, There are a few things you must take notice of...

There are typos around your story that should be corrected.

You should really get to know how and when to use ,. It's really needed in the story.

The description of the characters. You describe some of them their personality, but without the phyical description, I can't really imagine them.

And also, the longetivity of your story is a good start, but the story itself...it was lacking detail, editing and it felt kinda rushed. I'd like to rate it, but that's not my job. Thats Damiens^^




But i'm just a reader and you're the writer. If you don't like my comment, you can just ignore it.

I see thanks for the comments im n0t that really go0d at english to start with but ill impr0ve it and yeah i d0nt use a period and coma much well g0nna w0rk on it n0w oh and could you tell me where/what im lacking? Im totally clueless T_T

a little typos here and there, but it doesn't bother me as much as some of the other readers. i say you are off at a good start just watch what you write down first. :lol:

so here it is the second chapter and i hope i get it right this time


Ch 2

They were peacefully having lunch and chatting with each other before someone disturbed it." Kyousuke!" Sunichi yelled, they were all shocked to see Sunichi barge in the rooftop.
"Whets this all of a sudden Sunichi?" asked Kyousuke "You look like you’re in a hurry...?" he continued
"Yeah" said Yui "why do you look so troubled? Did something happened?" asked Tomoko
"Kyousuke... he is.... called by the principal... it looks like its urgent... or something.." he said while panting between words
"Eh? Why?" Kyousuke asked while having a thinking expression on his face "I don’t know... but... it’s something really important!!..." said Sunichi
"Hmm... what could it be?" asked Yui "Hey Kyousuke did you break any school rules?" said Yui while looking curiously at Kyousuke
"No... I think I didn't.." he said "well I’m not gonna know what it is if I'm here might as well go to the principals office to find out" after he said this he drank the juice then stood up "the sooner I go the sooner it'll be over” he continued
"Hey!hey! Kyousuke!" uttered Yui "Maybe you really DID something bad! If so tell us already!" she continued while tapping her elbow on Kyousuke a few times
"Hmm... Kyousuke did something bad.... hmm..." said Tomoko while misato was eating quietly
"Hey! Don’t jump to conclusions! It might be something good!” he said worriedly "We'll then see you guys after this” he said and turned back "I hope" he said in his mind
"Umm... senpai?" said Misato "Yeah?" he replied "Be careful on the way there senpai" continued Misato while having a smile on her face that had a meaning
"I will Misato and thanks" he said and smiled back "guess Misato's right I shouldn’t get depressed with this kind of thing” he said in his mind
He got down on the first floor and headed straight to the office but then he heard someone on his back yell "Move! Move away!” while running very fast he turned around, he was shocked and on panic before he can even move the girl crashed on him
"Ouch..."he said while his eyes closed "huh?" he suddenly said in his mind "whets this funny feeling in my hand it’s tight yet...."he continued and tried to move his fingers Meanwhile the girls said "Ouch.. I feel a bit dizzy". After a bit she felt something and said with a trembling voice "hey could you stop doing that?"
And so Kyousuke opened his eyes, moved his fingers and looked at his right hand then the girl burst out laughing he was surprised to find that his hands was in her armpit, it was tickling her and the moving of his fingers tickled her more as soon as Kyousuke came back to his senses he removed his hand and he said in a panic “I-I’m sorry”. The girl wiped her tears from laughing, stood up, took a deep breath and slapped him with all her might then shouted “WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT???!!!!”
She lets out a sigh and said “I thought I was gonna die from all that laughing” as she puts her hand on her waist
Ignoring the pain in his cheek “hmm… she’s pretty familiar ” he said in his mind and looks away as he was thinking the girl noticed that he was not listening so she came up to him and suddenly yelled “ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?!?!”
His ear drum were about to burst when she yelled for she has a quite high voice. “Do you plan on making me deaf?!” he said angrily
“Oh! Are you sure about that?” she said in a devil-like smile
“T-that s-smile you’re Shigure! Shigure Mayaka!” he said in a bit terrified and surprised way while pointing his shaking index finger at her
“Hey hey” she said while having a closed eyes and twitching eyebrows “it’s rude to point at someone you just met and you’re overreacting” she continued then she opened one of her closed eyes “and by the way how did you know my name?” she asked him
Suddenly his cheeks started to hurt more then he squatted down and held his aching cheek “ahh… my cheek…. It hurts so much”
*
A brief explanation of character(s)
Shigure, Mayaka – She is a third year high school in Prism Gakuen. She is well known because of her athletic abilities but it seems that she is too ignorant of her popularity. She has a violet hair with violet eyes that always look sharp and deadly

*
She suddenly had an idea and suddenly grabbed his hand and tried to drag him
He struggled a bit and then she sets him lose “what are you doing?” she asked
“What?! What AM I doing? What are you doing trying to drag me like that?!” he said while looking at her with doubt
“Look, I need someone to help me and you are just the right one to help me” she said with a dead serious face
“Ok if you’re this serious I will help but I gotta do something first and let’s do that thing of yours after ok?” he said while scratching his head
“Ok then we’ll do this after class wait for me at the gym got it?” she said while walking away from Kyousuke then she suddenly faced him and leaned down a bit with her hands at the back “Oh! And if you don’t show up hell will be waiting for you tomorrow” she said while smiling
Kyousuke suddenly had a chill down his spine “o…ok” he said while gazing at her with an unknown expression or more specifically a mixture of astonished, scared, amazed and happiness “h-how can she say those kind of scary things with a very cute smile?” he asked himself
She waved goodbye and said “I’ll be waiting”. “y-yes” he replied “ugh… I feel I’m really gonna die if I don’t show up later…” he said in his mind while walking towards the principal’s office.
“I’m here…” he said in his mind he was feeling a bit nervous as he was about to knock on the door
*Knock Knock*
“Come in.” said the principal, he took a deep breath and said in his mind “Here goes nothing!”
He opened the door and to his surprise there was a girl sitting on the chair in front of the principals table. The girl had a long white hair and there was a clip on her left hair that looks so simple yet beautiful.
Then the girl looked at him, he saw her purple eyes sparkle and pouted, “Your 37 minutes late aniki!” said the girl still pouting.
He didn’t notice at first but when he noticed her face and he broke out in cold sweat and with a shocked expression, Kyousuke suddenly points at her and said out loud “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” then she makes a tongue

End of ch 2

Not to be nit picky but it's just a personal nit pick that I have, and almost any English composition teacher will say the same thing. When a different person starts to speak you put that as another paragraph. do not let the lines run together.

another great chapter!
a few typos here and there but its all good. :wink:

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Hmm... It felt like you were just telling a story without any emotions...

One thing I really noticed is the ending... you could've ended it with the "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" but instead you added the tongue. It didn't feel right...

Ah, i'd like to say more but I can't find the right words to put it. I'll edit this tomorrow...nighty^^

Ok ill try to fix that later anyways thanks f0r the c0mments i really appreciate it

yea some typos and that tongue part..."she makes a tongue" that sounds kinda weird

Well i d0nt kn0w how to describe it should i just put that she goes bleah?

u should have just said"she sticks out her tongue" or something like that..

Ok g0tta edit that part

Ok g0tta edit that part

well after a long... TOO long hiatus i decided to continue this

ch 3

"You're late Aniki, you should've been here 37 min. ago!"

She said while looking at Kyousuke, pouting. He lets out a sigh, scratched his head and smiled wyrly.

"Still strict about time huh Keiko?"
*
Suoh, Keiko
she has a long white pony-tailed hair with eyes as blue and as deep as the ocean. She is a bit smaller than me but she seems more mature than me yet sometimes she just turn childish... too childish...
*
"Well you surely took your time Suzuki.." butted in the principal

"Ugh.. I.."

"Well enough about that, you know why I called you here Suzuki, Kyousuke?"

He looked at Kyousuke with eyes like a tiger that's about to go for it's prey. Which causes Kyousuke to stiffen up and get nervous.

"Y-yes.. i-is it about m-my b-behavior?"

The principal looked at him, suddenly smiled and shook his head.

"No it's about a different matter... it's about Suoh, Keiko. As you heard she is transferring and she came by today and since you are her relative, I want you to take care of her and make sure she follows through class."

"O-okay.. I guess.."

The principal sat back and layed eyes on Keiko who was listening to their conversation.

"So I guess that's about it you guys can go now."

"Y-yes! thank you very much." she bowed

As they were about to go out of the door, He looked at him again and smiled

"Kyousuke, mind taking her to the gate?"

he stiffed up again and stood up straight

"O-of course sir, with pleasure!"

"Good, okay you two are dismissed."

After They got out of the room the bell for class rung, he was late in his class so they walked a bit faster

"So did you get all the things needed? and did you understand what the principal said?"

"Of course! I'm not a kid anymore aniki I'm already in high school! geez..."

She pouted at him and looked away.

"Hahaha! you know you're still pretty much a kid to me. so yeah i still got to take care of you."

She pouted more and looked at him indirectly

"Aniki you're putting your worry in a wrong way. I'm already grown up... even in various places"

She just muttered the last few words she spoke and he did'nt heard it

"Yeah, yeah you're a grown up now. hahaha!"

She still pouted but there is something different this time

"Oh... she still do that how cute! haha"

Not noticing that he said out loud what's on his mind. She blushed and glanced at him.

"Aniki... you idiot..."

"Huh? did you say something Keiko?"

"H-huh? M-me? It's N-nothing..."

She was flustered

"STUPID ANIKI!!"

"Hey now what I'd do to be yelled at?"

"Because "stupid" aniki is stupid"

Her face is still blushing

"By yhe way why are you blushing out of the blue?"

Once he said this she suddenly turned more red

"..."

She was thinking of a comeback for what he said but she was too flustered to even think. they stayed silent for a while.

-Moments later-

They were only a few steps away from the gate now and they came to a stop

"Look were here already so... Make sure you go home safely and early huh?"

"Okaaaaaay~ by the way aniki you sound like a mom"

She chuckled and took a step then faced him

"Well then see yah later aniki!"

"Yeah and be caref-"

Then she dashed off.

"-ul... Why the hurry?"

Apparantly the one he asks is already too far away to even hear him speak

"Well whatever.."

He looks at his clock and noticed the time. he was late.. the next bell is already close so he decided to skip the ongoing class and just show up for the next. A few moments later the bell rang and he walked toward his classroom

Meanwhile she had stopped running and just walked casually

*giggle* "Aniki will be in a biiig surprise"

She giggled happily.

ch 4

-After School-

"Man, that keiko, always coming in surprise"

"whassamatter kyousuke? you look tired or rather down of some sort, does it has something to do with the principal calling you earlier?"

Kyousuke faced him with an "isn't-it-obvious" face then sighed

"well i won't ask what happened since it doesnt look good i don't wanna be involved"

"Kyousuke! let's go home!"

Tomoko walks towards Kyousuke. He sighed depressedly

"I don't feel like going home early today Tomoko, you just go ahead."

"but where are you going?"

"I dunno anywhere is fine so i might go to random places..."

She frowned a bit

"If that's how you feel why not come with me? I'm going to the CD store Sawako's new album came out so I'm gonna buy a copy. So wanna come?"

"Whatever. by the way i didn't know you were a Sawako fan Sunichi."

"well anyway see you guys tomorrow"

She smiled and walks away

"See yah tomorrow Tomoko!"

"it's probably see you later for me though"

She got her bag and ran towards the door then she stopped and waved at the two, the two noticed and waved goodbye

"Well let's get going shall we?"

"Whatever let's just go."

"Tch! dude whats wrong with you? I know your depressed about the test but you suddenly became more gloomy after you came back to class this afternoon. What the hell happened in the principals office?"

"You'll know soon enough..."

They got out of school and are passing by a park. He noticed something at the corner of his eye.. a little girl crying in the corner of the park he examined the park and found no one there but the little girl so he approached her leaving Sunichi talking to himself.
He approached her his shadow fell on the girl and she looked up on him and she saw him making a funny face but she still didn't stop crying.

"Haha I thought that would surely work..." he scratched his head.

"Hello little girl are you lost or something?"he continued.

The girl nodded and was still sobbing. He kneeled down to have a look on the girls face.

"Can you tell nii-san your name?"

"Shimizu... Maya...*sob*"

"Ok Maya would you mind playing with nii-san?" he winked.

But she only cried more...
*
Shimizu, Maya
-She had black eyes and brown haair that reaches down to her shoulder blades.
*

After a while he somehow stopped her from crying and got her to play with him.

"Maya got separated from Asuka-nee-chan and Maya found herself lost."

"I see so what does Maya's Asuka-nee-chan look like?"

She frowns and puts her index finger in her chin in a cute manner.

"Uhm... she's very beautiful!"

Upon hearing this he sweatdrops.

"That's a bit... well can you desribe her other than she's beautiful?"

She ponders again.

"She's... very pretty!"

She lets out a big smile but Kyousuke thought that it was pointless to ask anymore about how her sister looks.

"Say Maya what school are you in?"

"Eh? Maya is in Momonji grade school."

they're conversation was cut by the girl who stood on the entrance of the park panting and looking straight at they're direction.

*
Shimizu, Maya
-She had a very beautiful body one that a model would have she also had a pair of big brown eyes and brown hair that reaches her neck.
*

"Maya!"

Then the girl dashed down to where they were and Maya began to cry again and she opened her arms to be embraced by the oncoming person.

"Maya i was so worried... I've looked everywhere for you!"

"Maya is sorry nee-chan...*sob*"

Seeing that Maya was already found by her sister he walked away carefully trying not to disturb the two.

But Maya notices that he was about to go

"Nii-chan you're leaving already?"

"yeah cuz your nee-chan is already here. Now be a good girl and don't be lost again ok?"

He made an eye contact with Asuka, Maya's sister.

"I see that you are not a bad person I thank you for accompanying my little sister"

She bowed he was shocked by her formality, he panicked a bit but regains composture

"T-that was nothing anyway I gotta go now and you two should be careful on your way home too. Well then see yah!"

He turned around and waved his hand goodbye to them and started walking home

When the sisters were walking towards the station Asuka realizes something and stopped walking.

"Hey Maya..."

"Yes nee-chan?"

"What was his name?"

"Are you talking about onii-san? hmm..."

She ponders

"Now that you mention it Maya didn't get onii-san's name..."

"I see... We should've at least gotten his name..."

"Well we will see onii-san again Maya's sure of it!"

"Yeah probably"

Then they held hand and walked towards the station.

"I feel like I forgot a thing or two..."

As he was walking a chill ran down his spine.

Meanwhile She was almost finished with the work and someone who was supposed to help her didn't show up.

"I'm gonna kill him tomorrow!"

With bloodlust eyes she grinned evilishly.

ch 5


He arrived home and found an extra pair of shoes on their door.

"Oh? we have a visitor.." he said to himself

He removed his shoes and goes to his room on the second floor.

Upon arriving in his room he sensed that someone is inside his room he thought that Mamoru was playing in his room while he was gone. He opened his room

"Hey Mamoru I told you to get permission from me first be--....."

He was stopped by his surprise before he can complete his sentence. There was a girl who was in his bed eating pretzels while reading manga.

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Geez why do you have to be so late?"

As she was speaking his jaw dropped and he keep pointing at her with a trembling hand

"What's with that weird face aniki?"

"W-what t-t-t-the hell are you doing here?!?!?!?!"

"Welllll I was planning on surprising you on the door but I got tired of it... Since you were sooo late hehe~"

He regained posture by shutting his jaws with his hand and taking a deep breath

"Don't {hehe} me... eh?"

On the corner of his eyes he noticed cardboard boxes puled up on one corner of his room.

"What's... that?"

He pointed at the piled up boxes

"It's my stuff"

He had his hunch but he wishes that it was wrong.

"Why is it here..?"

"Well it's just what it looks like."

"A-..."

"Kyousuke, Keiko-chan, Mamoru dinners ready! Tomoko-chan is here already so get down quickly!"

She gets up and goes out of the room to go down. He was left there.. Dumbfounded

........
.....
...

"Eeeh.... so Keiko-chan's gonna live here from now on"(Tomoko)

Mamoru nods while Kyousuke sighs and Keiko smiles.

"Say Keiko-chan what year are you now?"

"Hmm? I'm just a year behind you guys."

"Is that so? Well then lets have a fun year together okay?"

She nods with a smile while he sighs and Tomoko notices it

"Hey whats your problem? You've been sighing since dinner."

"That's right aniki you've been sighing too much.... though it's quite amazing how you can sigh while chewing food..."

"... Just thinking that Keiko here will pretty much nag me about being on time everytime makes me feel sad... or something..."

"Kei-neechan is too strict on time."

"Geez... even Ruu-chan thinks the same"

*
Ruu-chan - Mamoru's nickname that is only used by Keiko
*

"Well it's not like it's bad though since now I defenitely won't be late at any appointment. Not that I have one anyway."

...........
.......
...

They all continued to chat then at 8:30pm Tomoko stood up

"Eeh... you're going already Tomoko-neechan?"

As Mamoru was saying this Keiko looked at the clock

"Why not stay a little longer Tomo-nee? it's still early."

"Well I still have some assignments left to do... so yeah"

She stretched a bit and let out a sweet moan

"... What's with that moan? Anyway what were our assignments Tomoko?"

"Geez aniki you're so irresponsible you should at least take note of your assignments. You're a student so you should take notes at least"

"Ugh... so the nagging starts.." he said to himself

"Well it's math, history and literature..."

"Ok I got it."

"Well then... I'll be going now, see you guys tomorrow. Auntie thanks for the food and see you tomorrow!"

A voice came from the kitchen and the voice is approaching them

"Okay then by the way thanks for your help preparing the dinner Tomoko."

She turned around and head towards the exit

"Hey Tomo-nee?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you just stay here for tonight?"

"Yeah Tomoko-neechan let's have a slumber party!"

Tomoko pondered

"Bring your assignments here and do it with aniki. So tht you will be able to finish sooner. Besides I would like to talk with you more."

She still ponders then looked at her auntie who nodded and smiled.

"You're always welcome to sleep here Tomoko."

With this she had made her decision.

"Okay then I'll just go home to get my stuff. I'll be right back."

She hurried home with excitement and packs her stuff for the night.

will read the last 3 chapters in the morning =\

lol hai big havent seen you in like... forever