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AssasinZAssasin wrote...
Whuts with the Pikachu...Well, i suppose this company is a big as huge ass conglomerates so...It just opens all over the damn place.
Well, yeah okay, how about the places where the main guy visits are the "not so good" parts of town, where people don't really go to visit? Besides, i think he was out pretty late at night...
He is there for the funniness! Or not...
Well, it could be... But why do you mean by "not so good"? "(Dangerous, lots of thugs and the like, and lots of crime)not so good" or "(not fun)not so good"?
I think you could have a bar an dangerous places. But then, it would be uncommon to open an office or an factory there, or even a graveyard, let alone an orphanage. And how can you meet a nice guy there? Also, pretty late at night? I don't think they have a definition for "pretty late at night" on Christmas.
If it was more of the "not fun"... Then I guess everything could work out just fine, hmmm. But I think you still need to clarify the setting of the story more, for readers to be able to know exactly where the story is taking place.
I think the first thing you should focus on now is the backgrounds of the characters. All we know now about the characters now is their names and a little not really significant information. I think the piece need more back-stories to be more awesome.
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AssasinZAssasin
Not Hentai Protagonist
Like where all the poor dudes live. Homeless hobos.
Hmm, even in this horrid world, see, there are good people at some places, somewhere, sometimes, in the most unlikely of places.
I suppose, i thought it was made pretty clear though, at least to a casual "whatever" reader.
Yeah, backstory and character development is definitely a must here...Yup.
Hmm, even in this horrid world, see, there are good people at some places, somewhere, sometimes, in the most unlikely of places.
I suppose, i thought it was made pretty clear though, at least to a casual "whatever" reader.
Yeah, backstory and character development is definitely a must here...Yup.