anglican Posts

I think I must say an apology to everyone here (and a personal apology to leonard) that I don't think I can have my entry ready for the deadline. This month has been way wild for me to have time to finish this one thing I was really looking forwards to all year.

That being said, I will still work on this piece to the best of my ability and give it to you guys in a few coming days. I promise!

I will still read through the entries (so far we have 3) and leave my comments as usual as well.

bruh



You can't rush artists! That being said, I now have half of a first draft, so hopefully soon-ish.

Funny because I have been having an idea for a story before the contest announcement that just fit right in the theme.

Ah, yes, here we go again.

And hello again everyone. Every time I've said I'd try to be here more often, alas, only to show up during this time of the year. Oh well. I have been stalking all day for this post.

I read through the Summer Contest post so I know why this year's word limits is up to 5000. There will be one of two scenarios for me: either I don't have to painstakingly edit my entry, or I will doubly do so.

I welcome both.

Yeah, like you say. They all sound pessimistic because the narration was way too pessimistic about everything. Although I agree that they were quite lively in their own part. Like this guy who decides to continue to work even when the Worker's Union would not allow it and then file his children as ungrateful pricks and put them into a unwanted lawsuit. But such is life, and maybe such is Otto's ultimate plan up to his demise.

I would not say that I was really entertained though. I can sense the lack of effort in this piece as opposed to to your previous work. All I think was that it must suck to be old and that thought is certainly not exciting.

And I'm also eagerly anticipating your reply to my entry and we can have a positively civilized argument about it.

I literally loled at this part and everybody on campus thought I was crazy. Small price to pay for a 'mention' in one of the jugde's opinion.

Congratulations to the winners this year. These were some good pieces of writing, though I may have sounded very distasteful about most of them. They were great nonetheless.

Another year without a prize for me, but oh well, (I hope) there's always next year.

I would also like to have the jugdes' comments on my entry, though some might have said already that it was gibberish. I would say that I definitely did not spend as much time as I would love to, like the previous year's entry, and thus was not of much favor. But there's always much more to learn in failures than in successes. So yeah, bombard away with the bad impressions!

Sure, I'm already shitting myself with studies and work.

Why all of your stories have to focus on a lonely and descriptively pessimistic man?

Congrats to the winners. That's the first time we have a tie.

Practice makes perfect, so they say.



No problemo. I love saying bad things about other people (jk).



Me too. Going back to school tomorrow can be such a drag, haha.



You and Sound of Destiny (in his case, the mother). It's kinda funny to see how you can overlook such a significant detail.

Speaking of which, congratulations to you (and him) going to the finals. It was well earned.

Congratulations to RavenxSinon. Your entry this year truly earned you your place in the finals. Good luck.

Congrats to the finalists, and thus good luck to them in this poll.

Your review is unappealing to read.

Joke. I concede that even though I did that intentionally and I'm fully aware that readers will be reluctant to read walls of text, it did more harm than good. Even though I made it a rule to read everybody's entry in this contest, this is definitely going to be the last one that I will read.



I'm not sure, I have looked it over many times before submitting and a few times after I do, too. Urgh, but it's too hard to spot your own errors, heh. It's easier to belittle someone else than yourself, it seems, hahaha.







The 'human' can use a bit more work, I agree. But the way he was introduced, then ignored, then brought back is also the way I chose it to be. Part of this is a supposedly twist on the conventional storytelling method, as this piece, the narrator is 'the main character' when talking in a third person perspective, and the 'human', the main character, is nowhere as important. Like you said, he was there to portray more about this 'God'. Whether that makes for good effects is another question. His situation is of course dire to himself, but not so interesting for the 'God', apparently. It's perfectly sensible if you can't like it.



I would argue that these are the essentials. Yes, they could have been trimmed down, and you could still get the idea, but I consciously chose to write them down, and I even cut out other things so that the 'fats' can remain. These 'fats' are my focus, not my tool to prove another point. As I said somewhere in the other comments, it is the idea of humans' stupidity that tires us all, or in another words, it is just as tiresome for him to list them out as for you to read it.



I believe I have a point in this one, but it's up to everyone's interpretations of their own experience.



I would, I never take anything lightly. For me, it's always to the extreme of not doing it and doing it (or sink trying) to the perfection.



It's a real joy to me that anyone take their time to read it at all. Thank you.

To add one more point to the format, you can clearly read that this is a first-person narration. I can't say for other people, though I imagine everybody else would do the same, whenever I read a first-person story, I immerse myself as if I were the character. A figure with immense pride, in his head, this is what I imagine a dickhead will say. You can criticize me for keep saying 'this is for the characterization' without any thoughts about how detrimental it can be for readers' experiences, but I would say that dealing with an asshole is unpleasant in real life, just like this story.



Eh, that's ok. I can be way more negative to other people. What you call 'mean things' are 'constructive criticism' and I'm grateful that you really gave your thoughts into writing this for me.



Haha, thanks, but I can already see my fate.

I think you will like my last year's entry better than this, although the format is messed up since FAKKU remove some old options.

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Heh, I wish I had a N64, but my childhood was grown on a GBA.

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Most of them are my own knowledge, though it's true that I had a great time reading up on them whenever they came up when I wrote this.



That's cool, meaning that I know the prime problems that don't work for the majority of readers.



Agree. But I will also try to explain my reasons behind this, which I have written above, if you will be so kind to scroll up.

Or not:



In another words, I chose to do so because I thought it adds to the portrayal of the character as being obnoxious on purpose and is awfully informed about everything.

I have also written about it the the previous comments, if you want to read more about this.



I will have to read it again to spot the grammatical errors you talk of.

With the "This seems the future, doesn't it?" part, I will argue that this sentence has perfectly acceptable grammars and structures, albeit it does not being used in modern American English. I have said in my footnote in the original post that there was paragraph I wanted to write in 1800-1900 French literature style, the kind of style you can read in translations of renown works of French authors of that time, namely Alexandre Dumas, père (The Count of Monte Cristo [1844], The Three Musketeers - [1844]), Victor Hugo (Les Misérables [1862], The Hunchback of Notre-Dame [1831]), and Jules Verne (Journey to the Center of the Earth [1864], Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea [1870], and Around the World in Eighty Days [1873]). I later decided against in fear of not having enough literature ability to do so. However, you can still read some sentences that I wrote and decided to keep it so.

Usually, you will adhere to a consistent style of writing of an era in order to uphold respect for the language. However, like many aspects of this piece, I want to portray this guy as a omnipotent being with unlimited knowledge and authority to do absolutely anything. So I guess you can say it's technically an error, but I will choose to stand by my decision.



As said above:





It could have been more substantial. I wasn't entirely satisfied with the version I have posted here, but it was contented. However, I will defend my point in 'overkilling' (as above):





It's fair. I can't imagine liking this out of my own volition. That's not to say I don't appreciate my own effort.

In all honesty though, I must say that I did not spend as much on this piece as I should have, not as much as I did last year. So it didn't emerge as a fan-favorite after all. I'll try harder next year.



Haha, we all know the results already.

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To finish, I want to thank all of you to have read and given my your feedback, especially that I know it's a chore to read this story. I know I am vocal of my defense on this piece, but I also want you guys to know I take every little comments seriously and you guys have helped me to become a better overall writer.

Funny because I'm browsing on my phone and the picture is making the post way smaller than it should be.

Yeah sure, thanks!

It can be just my own problem, but I can be literal and formulaic at times, and being really mushy and sensitive at any other times. That is to say, somehow your story just make me want to see it with a 'very scientific eye' that is nature has it own way of existence that has nothing to do with humans' values or morals.

I don't like it, but that doesn't mean I don't give it credits for what it is. Of course I get your symbolism of things, but it couldn't make an impact for me.



Maybe I said it in an unclear way. The reason for me to say that 'Why was Judas trust his mother when there's no reasons to' is because that, you didn't present any. Let me elaborate.

It is of course an universal idea that you should love your family unconditionally, but in different cultures and specific personal circumstances, this idea can exist in many forms. While in Asian (Confucian, Chinese-rooted) cultures, it is of utmost importance that one take care of one's family, in every aspects (honor, well-being, finances,...), which is the idea of filial piety, it's not upheld so much in Western countries, because they pride on individualism much more. In other word, in Asian countries, Group > Individual, and in Western countries, Individual > Group.

This applies to Judas's case and your story as well. Why is is that make Judas so determined on saving their siblings and believe his mother unconditionally, while clearly she is being psycho-maniacal? It would be so much more convincing, if you had included some background as simple as "Our family has only relied on each other since my birth, we have survived all this time together, so there's no way Mother is going ga-ga now, right? Right?". Same thing with the "Damn, I nidda get m'groove on yo, or I get snacked." part I told you. In that very instance, Judas has two stream of thoughts that he can choose to believe: 1. I have to get food and save my siblings vs. 2. I have to get food or I'll get eaten. There wasn't any build-up for when he decide this major plot point. He did not talk about how he and his siblings are very close-knitted. He chose that path, because you told us so, not because we readers believed it so. And that, in my opinion, is why the basis of this character wasn't there, so that why I said "whole basis of this piece which built upon has just crumbled.", I can't see this character for what he is anymore.

But I'm not covered to go see a chiropractor every week.
(I'm sorry, too, Ezlare!)

This is exactly my feeling towards your story, but I don't know if I made that clear in my comments above. I didn't get the chance to read the first story you posted though.

Yay, time for everybody to vote for me!

*Glaring intensifies*