Read Sunstone. It's on ex and deviantArt.
See, what I think is that your issue lies less with yuri itself and more with how it got exposed to you. You saw it first as a malicious act done that was uncalled for and was probably done to cater to the hormonal masses. What you need to understand is that
this is not any relationship works, at all. I didn't get a disdain for the acts in general myself, but even I thought the scenes you mentioned were cringeworthy as fuck.
Hence, read Sunstone. This is a down to earth, absolutely real and human story that just happens to be laced with BDSM. Really though, the series is never even explicit in its acts, but it's hardly sfw. The best way to quash homophobia is to see and understand that real love has no boundaries, and sex is certainly one of those assumed limits. You start falling for whoever you fall for, that's how this stupid feeling works lol.
And if that doesn't work, just remind yourself that being this trivially homophobic males you no better than the trivially racist Lollikittie. (^: