Galder Posts

I'm not sure what to tell you. Breaking up the second girl's relationship with your friend is just wrong, as that truth is his to tell. You could push him to come clean, but that is ultimately his decision. If you like this new girl, but aren't willing to commit to a relationship with her, then it's not something worth crying over.

You and your friend have more or less made your beds. You have to lie in it.

She's dependent on you, to an unfair degree. You're spending more than adequate time with her, you're truly making an effort to show her you love her, are interested in her, desire her. It sounds like she got used to the amount of time you were together, and is now pouting because she's not being waited on as much as before.

Honestly, you are doing everything right. You're having sex regularly, you spend one-on-one time, you show her there's a spark by taking her out. The fact she's whining at you is unfair on her part - it may be indicative of underlying issues. I'd suggest a sit-down and ask her what's really going on that she feels the need to have more of your attention, when you're already giving her most or all of your free time.

Under no circumstance should anyone ever be told to leave or lessen their workload, especially in this tentative time in our lives. If you were working 80 hours a week, were a doctor on call, or something extreme and truly time-consuming, her concerns may be warranted, but as that is not the case, there is obviously something going on on her part.

Bear your heart and soul. Apologize. Ask for her back.

If she says no, ask "Do you still love me?" "Is it enough to be together?" "Will we ever be together again?"

Take her response as law, and don't push for anything she hasn't said she feels comfortable with.

If it's over, it's over. Mourn your loss, refrain from other people, and feel the pain. Let the reality sink in and one day you actually will, in fact, be over her.

Cheating is unique to each relationship. The conventional definition is any romantic or sexual involvement outside of the relationship. The true definition is any involvement outside of the relationship that both parties have agreed upon as being 'cheating'.

The only way to make it work is to be honest. You can't soften the blow, can't sugar the pot, can't beat around the bush. It will all boil down to the truth in her mind anyways, so the only adult thing to do is come clean.

If it's meant to happen, you'll become a triad. If it's not meant to happen, you may lose one or both of them. Love is never easy, and it certainly isn't fair.

There is no way to 'cheer' someone 'up' after experiencing a loss. Least of all, a loss of someone who means the world to that person. There are no right words. No perfect jokes. No profound acts of kindness or romance that are a 'surefire way to perk them up'. They're in mourning, and the one major thing I've learned from therapy is that the only way out, is through.

The only good thing you can do is be there for them. No words are needed. Just listen. Don't push them to talk about it. When they burst into tears at random things, it's probably because something reminded them of the person they lost, or the fact they lost them in the first place.

This is a tough time. It will take a very, very long time to get through. You're never really the same, you just become a different version of yourself. Loss shapes you in profound ways.

I'm not really a romantic person. My idea of romance is a playful battle of insults, smirks, with an underlying tone of flirtation. Knowing someone gets my sense of humour and counter-intuitive idea of flirting is enough to make me swoon. But only on the inside. Can't have people thinking I'm a softie!

Nobody should even pretend to know what they're going to do with their life at this age, least of all who they're going to spend their life with.

From age 18-28, it's like a second puberty. Life is a morphous, abstract, simultaneously meaningless and meaningful experience fraught with broken and changing dreams, hearts, minds. No one ever ends up how they thought they would at this age.

Saying you don't want to commit, don't know who you are, what you're doing, or where you're going is the wisest thing you can say.

o_o Dat avi...

>"Women"
>"Racist".

...

No.

It means she's just not that into you.

I'm right there with you. The whole 'you're being such a ba- ... hur hur -snort-'.

._. The only thing I know is that I hate weak, submissive guys. Do you? If you do, maybe you could draw on that? And basically, punish him for being a terrible dom?

Draw your artistic interpretation of me.
You have free reign.

Yeah, there's absolutely nothing psychologically wrong with any of that.

I totally thought this was something that you posted, from your life.

Tell me about this Kelsi person.

I completely agree. Love at first sight doesn't exist... but I think chemistry does. Chemistry being a combination of sexual attraction, hormonal interaction, and... maybe something mysterious. A draw. You can instantly want to fuck anybody - there are tons of hot people out there to check out. But sometimes, there can be a spark. Something that makes you wonder what could be. But as far as instant love, no. More like... an instant pondering of potential. I agree that you shouldn't 'idealize someone' - I've done that. It never ends well. I think it's more about feeling this instant 'I want to get to know this person, there's just something about them'



Right on point, Dia. In my opinion, that's what a 'one true love' is. I think... I think you can have chemistry with someone, and click really well from the get-go, which opens up that potential, that 'box' that is 'yet to be checked' until you've really gone through the ringer with them in terms of ups, downs, highs, lows, hardships, and generally just life in general, that you realize they're your one true love.

But it's never something that happens immediately. I mean, I personally feel that the term 'soulmate' doesn't mean 'instant perfection', and I agree 100% that real, true, forever love takes effort, fighting [as in FOR the relationship], and time to build a real companionship, but I feel like... everyone has a handful of people that can really fit what you want, but only one person that... despite all rationality, despite all the others, you can't help but love them, completely, and that's what a soulmate is.

I feel like it's a little more than just true compatibility - because many people can fit that. I think it's about... that little magnet in your heart that draws you to that one person. I'm not saying it's like codependence - that this person treats you like shit and you 'just can't help it', I'm talking about the real, true magnet. The idea of True North, when inside your deepest of deeps, that person feels like home.

You can have many 'compatible' significant others, but I feel like there's only one True North.

BECAUSE, SIMON. I BOUNCE WHEN I AM EXPERIENCING MOMENTS OF JOY OR EXCITEMENT. NOW SHUT UP.

I actually legitimately have that fear >: the spoiled one. I take meds for it :3

;_________;