Is it okay for a girl to be perverted?

I often feel like it goes the other way.

There was a time when I feared that male heterosexuality was inherently toxic towards women, due to the way people would talk about sex in media. So I asked a friend about it online. She said that male heterosexuality is toxic towards women down to a genetic level, ending her sentence with I know that's depressing but it's okay as long as you keep it to fantasies.

Well, she's no longer my friend, and I'm contemplating suicide. Which of course means I'm an immature idiot who can't take a contradiction, right?

Not an immature idiot, but you should seek help if you are considering suicide. You sound very hurt and honestly I am not sure why. Are you upset at how men view women sexually or are you afraid you will not be accepted for who you are??

I don't see male heterosexuality as toxic towards women, I mean yes men who judge and scrutinize us thinking of us as only sexual objects sucks, but that isn't all men. I personally think women are more judgmental on other women in comparison.

Social media plays off of a man's fantasies while hitting at women's insecurities, but in the end media isn't real life. The people that are influence by such media and use it to persecute others are weak. You have to learn to be happy with yourself and not allow other things to affect you as harshly because life is not easy. You have to accept the bad along with the good, because there is too much good life can offer if you try and see it.

Now as for women sexuality, yes there is an idea as to how women should be, but who really cares? I admit I've slept with quite a few people and I've had hook-ups and flings. Also experiemented with women and found that I was as straight as a pole lol. People may have there idea's on how life should be lived, but in the end we are all human. The reason your freind may have said to keep your fantasies just that is to not be taken the wrong way by men.

I usually tell women that if they fantasize about gangbangs or rape that it's normal, but you have to be careful about who you tell. A man could take what you say as "hmm, if she get's turned on by force, just maybe...". I am honest with what I like but it is because I am honest with people about what I don't like either. I enjoy rape hentai, but if anyone tried to force themselves on me I will fight bad hard (I can be a bit intimidating lol). So you just have to find people you can trust with your fantasies or just take pleasure in just that, the fantasy of it all. I also love loli's but only from a fictional standpoint, I have no feelings for irl children.

tl;dr - you can do what you want to with your life, but please consider fighting to live before you so easily go the other route. We all have those thoughts at some point in our lives, but life has a lot of offer if you can find the will and reason. I always say you could easily be hit by a bus tomorrow so you wasted all of your time contemplating how to end your life lol. Talk to someone, anyone including myself before you do anything rash, I know as a random stranger I just do my best to help others out with such things since I would feel like shit if I didn't at least try.

Thanks :)

To answer your questions I'd say it's closer to the latter: fear of not being accepted.

People keep saying that you should never need permission and validation in your most intimate moments, but to then have that same person come a long and say that whenever I have those moments I am am indulging my inner rapist. It disgusts me!

I don't even like rape-hentai, I prefer vanilla. Summer's Beast, Without Our Parents Knowing, that's the kind of stuff I'm into. I'd much prefer a sex-positive female who can take the lead rather than a weak one who I have to force myself on. But when I said that all I got for a reply was: that's just your social brain talking, your lower brain would probably prefer the weak one.

How am I supposed to feel positive and free about my sexuality when it might just be a tamed instinct to rape? To simply say that it's okay as long as it's a fantasy doesn't work with me. Why should anyones taste in hentai say something negative about their nature? I may prefer vanilla but I don't think that people who prefer the more edgy stuff are inherently more unsafe, some people just need more hot spices in their food to wet their appetites.

I mean what you like seems pretty normal to me and not all women prefer to be the sub in a relationship. I prefer a more dominant male, but that's just because I am more of a head strong individual so it balances me out in some ways.

Anyone who puts your tastes down is just being judgmental and shouldn't be taken to heart. I know I've had friends and even relationships where my tastes have been scrutinized; yes it hurts, but I look at it as I wasn't understood and I should move on. I know my current friends are pretty awesome and think what I enjoy is just fine. Even my current relationship was accepting of my fetishes and my desires.

The whole "women want a more dominant male figure" is an older way of thinking so whoever told you those things is really behind in the times. There's nothing wrong with wanting to take the lead in a relationship, but all good relationships require balance. I enjoy being a dominant at times, but being a submissive is also enjoyable and give the partner some power as well. Give and take is more realistic then rape and submit. I will be honest and say no logically thinking person wishes to be raped. The whole notion behind rape fantasy is in the sense of loosing control, but real rape isn't as sexy as they make it out in the smut books. I help counsel rape victims from time to time and believe me they never wanted something like that to happen and it wasn't fun for them in any way.

When I say that you need to be careful about who you talk to about your desires and fantasies, I'm not saying that you need to bottle up who you are, you are just waiting for the right people to talk about them. I know I felt the same as you a few years back in that I thought "why do I have to hide who I am?". Honestly though you are not hiding who you are, you are just learning to realize that it doesn't matter. You don't have to be all out there for people to learn to accept you. If they are the right people you can tell them things over time and if you find they aren't accepting of you initially or with more general things then there is no point to go further with some people. It's mainly to save you from being hurt in the long run. You also just learn who you can trust and not trust.

I don't tell people I enjoy loli or dirty old men hentai initially because not everyone will accept that, though I am at the point that if people find out I don't really care anymore lol. I was sensitive at first, but now I don't give a shit because I realized that I may be a bit odd, but I have a lot of other great qualities that if people focus on my quirks then maybe I need a better person in my life.

In the end you just have to accept who you are and see the good qualities you have aside from your horny side. There are people in this world who will not accept you for whatever reason and those who will, but the one who needs to accept you is yourself. Once you do that you find that you'll meet people who will matter to you and won't give a shit about yours likes and dislikes. Not sure if you've been with a partner or not, but if you have not or at the very least ones that have treated you like the special snowflake you deserve to be treated as lol, then give it some time. I have the strong belief that there is something for everyone so enjoy life till you meet that someone. I'm still working towards that myself (^^)

This is going to take me way back into the basics of human communication, don't you see that it's ok that anyone can be perverted. It's only the practice of discrimination which discourage the person to the point of saying "is it okay to be perverted?" That's just pitiful that people have to be subject to this kind of condescendence on inferiors.

Don't be so submissive or'll you get depressed and theorise on the meaning of why is it this or that. An adult has a powerful capabilities and stature, that person had the motivation of a fighter due to accepting the consequences and facing the hard things.

To be perverted is to be human. So yes its okay, i would even say its okay to be perverted and be open about it. I find that an attractive quality of a girl.