EVERYONE MAKE RANDOM "TRUTHFUL" STORIES ABOUT THEMSELVES

EVERYONE MAKE RANDOM "TRUTHFUL" STORIES ABOUT THEMSELVES

A recent thread has given me an Idea. I want to know who the "real" you is.

I am Colt McCoy; a 21 year old super secret agent working for the NSA, FBI, Secret Service, Interpol, Scotland Yard, whatever Germany has that fights terrorists. I always seem to arrive just in time to save people; especially if a beautiful girl is involved; I then proceed to feed them my one eyed python many times over. I fuck hundreds of thousands of girls(bitches) yearly. I have a personal net-worth of over 250 billion, I have been to space; multiple times, I have and will continue to drive race cars at the F1 level, I have killed over 7000 ninjas, I own the original bible (its nothing like the bible we have today), I have been witness to the collapse of the Greek, Roman, Persian, French, Germanic Empires with my trusty time travel device, I was the man who actually killed Hitler, I once killed Chuck Norris; traveled back in time to then stop myself for the good of humanity, I had sex with Eve giving birth to the human race. I am a man of manly talents and I implore you to tell me of your tale; stranger.

Refer to this thread if you need more examples of how to tell your story.

what do we do here? create a bio of your 'real' self here? oh and I'm Soap MacTavish

Hello Colt McCoy, my name is Buck Savage. I'm what you'd call a "genius". Not only did I create the big bang by letting a particularly rank fart hit a match, I also once lost a nut in a fight with Wolverine. I think you guys know it as Jupiter? I fucked every bitch, got bored of that, fucked every man (I was always on top), and then fucked every woman again. You know that Jesus guy? Yeah, you might say that the bible made some shit up. I remember him real good, was just a pussy who took credit for my shit after I died, came back, and died again. Little did that cunt know that I revived again, and here we are. Sit back and watch, world, because everywhere I go, bitches always know, that Buck Savage has got a penis that he loves to show. Don't be a stranger, I'm a laid back bro. You wanna go shoot up a kindergarden? Fuck yeah let's go bust a cap in those little twats' asses. Bust up a meth lab? Yeah, fighting crime and fucking bitches. I do it all, I'm pretty much perfect.

I am Hank Betterman, age 22 with a totally jacked physique. You may have heard of my invention, it's called gravity. I got the idea for it about a week after I made oxygen and most of the lesser elements. Considering I've fucked around 10,000 women (I actually lost count at 6,853) I'm probably responsible for the existence of every famous scientist and sports star there is. I have a Ph.D in Conceptual Everything and taught Tony Hawk how to skateboard. I'm currently working on a combined cure for cancer, AIDS and light fevers. Look forward to it.

I'm Jesus. Im over 2000 years old, and well, yeah I'm Jesus.

I also play guitar. I go under the alias of John Petrucci.

Here are some of my videos.

DEAR COLT MCCOY,

I AM BARRISTER :WILLFRED BELLO GANI, SOLICITOR. I AM THE PERSONAL ATTORNEY TO ENG.C.COLT MCCOY,A NATIONAL OF YOUR COUNTRY,WHO USED TO WORK WITH AGIP DEVELOPMENT COMPANY IN NIGERIA.ON THE 6TH OF JULY 2000,MY CLIENT, HIS WIFE AND THEIR THREE CHILDREN WERE INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT ALONG SAGAMU EXPRESS ROAD.ALL OCCUPANTS OF THE VEHICLE UNFORTUNATELY LOST THERE LIVES.

SINCE THEN I HAVE MADE SEVERAL ENQUIRIES TO YOUR EMBASSY TO LOCATE ANY OF MY CLIENTS EXTENDED RELATIVES, THIS HAS ALSO PROVED UNSUCCESSFUL AFTER THESE SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, I DECIDED TO TRACE HIS RELATIVES OVER THE INTERNET, TO LOCATE ANY MEMBER OF HIS FAMILY BUT OF NO AVAIL, HENCE I CONTACTED YOU.

I HAVE CONTACTED YOU TO ASSIST IN REPARTRATING THE MONEY THAT BELONG TO MY CLIENT BEFORE THEY GET CONFISICATED OR DECLARED UNSERVICEABLE BY THE BANK WHERE THIS HUGE DEPOSITS WERE LODGED.PARTICULARLY, THE BANK WHERE THE DECEASED HAD AN ACCOUNT VALUED AT ABOUT $14.5 MILLION DOLLARS HAS ISSUED ME A NOTICE TO PROVIDE THE NEXT OF KIN OR HAVE THE ACCOUNT CONFISICATED WITHIN THE NEXT 14 OFFICIAL WORKING DAYS.

SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESFUL IN LOCATING THE THE RELATIVES FOR OVER 3YEARS NOW I SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED SINCE YOU ARE FROM THE SAME COUNTRY AND BEAR THE SAME LAST NAME,SO THAT THE PROCEEDS OF THIS ACCOUNT VALUED AT $14.5 MILLION DOLLARS CAN BE PAID TO YOU AND THEN YOU AND ME CAN SHARE THE MONEY. 50% TO ME AND 45% TO YOU,WHILE 5% SHOULD BE FOR REMBURSEMENT OF INCIDENTAL EXPENSES THAT MAY INCURE DURING THE PROCESS OF THE TRANSACTION OR TAX AS YOUR GOVERNMENT MAY REQUIRE, I WILL SECURE CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT AND OTHER RELEVANT APPROVALS DOCUMENTS THAT CAN BE USED TO BACK UP ANY CLAIM WE MAY MAKE.ALL I REQUIRE IS YOUR HONEST COOPERATION TO ENABLE US SEE THIS DEAL THROUGH.

I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT THAT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW.PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH ME BY MY EMAIL TO ENABLE US DISCUSS FURTHER.PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH MY PRIVATE MAILBOX::WILLFREDBELLO2000@BOX.AZ.

BEST REGARDS,

ESQ:WILLFRED BELLO.

NB:PLS INCLUDE TO ME YOUR PRIVATE TELPHONE AND FAX NUMBER IN YOUR RESPONSE.

I am He-Man, the Prince Barbarian, and I defend Eternia and Castle Grayskull against THE FORCES OF EVIL! I also have a green tiger called Cringer.

I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, from East Junior High. First off, I'm not interested in ordinary people. But, if any of you are aliens, time-travelers, or espers, please come see me. That is all!

My name is Anton Tobias. I'm a lazy teen slacker and my dream in life is to watch TV all day while some hot broad brings me food and my blunts.


*edit*

Here is where you can learn more about me: https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=25670

My name is Robert Goodwin. I invented the Cotton Gin, the fridge, oxygen, trees, wood, rocks and breasts. My main export is breast blueprints and tissue paper. I enjoy long walks on the beach and long sessions of sexual intercourse. To date I've destroyed seven vagina's due to the preposterous size of my genitalia, the screaming was horrible... My favorite things are large vagina'd women and earplugs.

My story... well, see, it's kinda complicated. It all started when some environmentalist pussies who were all key people from my background approached me about a job they needed an Ex-SOLDIER class badass for. As we set off on our epic adventure I used my monkey tail to fly around the princess so she would let me see her part of the Tri-Force. My childhood-friend type bitch got mad, but due to the outrageously random nature of my Demon Form, she kept silent. Shortly after I was abducted by a short green man who told me of a mystical force that surrounded and penetrated us. After pondering things over in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, I set off to find some way of removing the Gamma radiation from my veins so I could get pissed off like a normal person. Of course, my best friend betrayed me, stealing the princess and riding away on a chocobo while I walked in place staring at the scene. I then used my Bankai to tame the fox within me... Look, none of that really matters nearly as much as the time I used a can of Cheeze Whiz and a hobo to stave off an alien invasian of gravity manipulating scum, but that's a story for another day.

So, I'm at this party: GREAT STUFF! Music the way it used to be. Crowd's a bit small, but the scene was just beginning. And, my friend Adam just build a deck overlooking the most beautiful forest you've ever seen.

Anyway, The big man shows up--and this is a barbecue/potluck/thing EVERYBODY brought something, little corn, little beef, some tofu even-- He fixes himself a plate...and this guy knows how to party. Meat, meat, meat; far as the eye could see.
So, this guy I used to know, Cain, gets all up in arms over his bit. Turns out he's a vegetarian, and becomes a bit.....let's say perturbed...over the clear favourite.

Abel(another old friend) is across the way, chatting up what appears to be his cousin (I dunno) when veg-head cracks. In the blink of an eye, he's straight up Abel's ass, all in his face with "why can't you respect" this and "you were always" that. Brother to brother shit. Nobody gives it a thought, it'll be over in the morning.
Let me tell you, it wasn't over. Cain takes out the biggest hand cannon I've ever seen, takes Abel's face clean off. PANDEMONIUM man, nobody is calm. Everybody crashes around, flying for the door, and all I can do is sit and watch, as the boss picks both up by the collar and tosses them into his rig.

So, next day, I'm stuck (half sober, mind you) between a rock and a hard place. Cain has now pulled his friend card and asked me to defend him in the "trial." Long story short, he goes south, and I'm stuck in this shithole for blankitty-blank years.

Scotland Yard is just the police. MI5 and MI6 are the agencies.

Hey guise, I'm Alessa Canson, 15 years old, and I'm a rape victim. My father died when I was young, and my mother married another man. My stepfather was kind at first and always hug me from behind and squeeze my growing breasts, but I never found this abnormal then. Because of business issues, my mother started going home late, then soon she only comes home every tuesdays, thursdays, and the weekends, so I was always left with my father.

One day, the called me to the bedroom to watch a movie with him. I brought some popcorn and went to his room, when he suddenly grabbed me and laid me to the floor. He entered me many times and it was a painful experience for me. I always thought that event was just a dream, and I never brought it up, until the time he raped me again, this time while I was waking up. I found him above me the he forced his penis to my mouth, then he did me from behind until noon. Soon, he was raping me everyday that mom is away.

This will be the 3rd year he's taking pleasure with my body, and I think I should tell my mom...


But it feels so good.




Oh, my dad is calling me to supper, so, farewell!

Yo, wassup, this yo boy fitty cent. I work with rap and shit, making gangsta ass rymes to hustle dem fools on da streets, son. I'm a fucking gajillionaire, son, here, I'll show you my lettuce:



Yea, yea, that's how I roll, son. I've also been shot about 50 times and I'm still breathing nigga, wassup!

And yo, don't forget, if it's yo birfday, I don't give a fuck, cause I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P!

Peace out nigga, naw mean?

last night i got drunk enuf to fall off a balcony and split my head open, im typing this from my hospital bed this mornin