Get these Racoons off my land

So something has been periodically waking me up at around 3:00 - 4:00 AM nearly every single day. I've gotten fuck all sleep lately, because i know i'll be woken up at 3:00 anyways. Usually it starts with a lot of rustling around in the bushes outside my window and more recently loud hiss noises. I went out with a flash light this time and found a Clowder of Cats, roughly about nine or so just roaming the front yard. It was actually a little bit of a shock because i shined the light in to pitch darkness. All i saw back was quite a few glowing eyes looking up at me.

Ran back in so i could grab a camera but they ran off before i could snap a photo. They're undoubtedly going to come back at some point, going to try and snap a photo next time. This is getting a little annoying, i don't really want to call animal control, since i'm not sure what they might do. Solutions would be pretty cool, i'm leaving Animal Control as a last resort. Going to try to sleep now because they all ran off somewhere.


Update: 7/12/2012
So i went back there and took a picture of where some of them left tracks, then enhanced it on photoshop so i could see the tracks better. I think they might be racoon prints, which makes a lot more sense now that i think about it. Didn't know Racoons traveled in such large groups.

Mate with the queen cat to gain their trust. Then wage war with the dogs to regain catopia. That is why soo many cats are strays because the dogs have taken over catopia.

You need something to scare them off.

There used to be a shitload of stray cats where I lived a few years back.
My dad bought an airsoft handgun just to shoot at them. Eventually they stopped coming back.
Animal cruelty? Maybe. Effective? Yes.

Throw rocks at the little shits.

There's this one cat who belongs to someone on my road and he is basically the boss of all the cats in my area, he gets all of the pussy. Nothing we do will stop him from shitting in our garden and all over the plants, and anything we put out there to make him stay away he shits on or in front of. He's a proper joker. Pretty sure he does it in everyone's garden. If it was a dog then she would have to come and pick it up, but it's not.

I also heard a cat fight a few nights ago. But what I usually hear, though rarely any more, is foxes. They used to wake me up or keep me up for hours - it sounds like a woman being murdered when they mate.

Cats are better than kangaroos, enough said..

I want to see a kangaroo.

Fix'd.

Have you tried giving them to a local non profit animal shelter or organization?

They're pretty cute, but their meat is somehow a bit chewy so I try to avoid myself in a situation where I have to eat Kanga's meat.

hmmmmm.... Either get a dog, or just take sleeping pills before sleeping. I'd avoid using violence on domestic animals sadly....

Fill a bucket with water and splash those bastards. Even if you don't manage to soak them, they'll get the hell out for a while. That's what I did some time ago and it has worked so far. I would say warm water is more effective but that will cross the line of animal abuse. Still, the choice is there.

Oh and yurixhentai, do the same with that cat as well. I had a cat that acted the same way he does and he stopped coming for a while.

You wake up all the time at 3 am? Shit son, you must be possessed.

^

was thinking the same.

Chase them all away, or throw stuff.

I have dogs. They hunt cats... and trash.

^

that's the problem with my dogs... that's why I can't keep cats here anymore.... the cat they used to know (and play with) after accidentally lead piped. fucking drunkard.

We have a Water Gun laying around, i might go out and just squirt them a little so they stop coming by.




That's an idea.




We used to have two dogs but they died a few months ago, then a few weeks later this shit started happening.

You've obviously been living in these cats' territory (yes, they do it too) this entire time. The only thing keeping them away was the scent of your dogs all over your yard.


I recommend either buying a new dog (a loud one, for more immediate effect), or coating the yard with your piss instead. Bourbon, coffee, and asparagus are effective to this end.