Kamp Kuzma: The Operators' Campgrounds (For Operating)
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Heh I tend to begin with action ya know just you open a file and BANG main character is in a middle of shotout or something. ^^'
EDIT:@Kei: Yeah it is. Even though we agree that we don't really care mutual interest of Vietnam war in our unit stats that the most "favorite" warfare is hot/jungle. :)
EDIT:@Kei: Yeah it is. Even though we agree that we don't really care mutual interest of Vietnam war in our unit stats that the most "favorite" warfare is hot/jungle. :)
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That so? I'm a winter person so I prefer Artic but that doesn't mean I can't stand hot and humid areas.
@Room, what book?
@Room, what book?
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Yeah as I hardly know about Muv-Luv universe I didn't found many things disturbing. Though I found a few stylistic things:
You started at third person narration and then suddenly jumped into first person. Usually it's just one way or another.
I think that backbone of humanities armies is not the best way how to say. How 'bout simple backbone of human armies?
Behind them, another ship exploded, superheated fuel and munitions churning the makeshift carrier into a mass of superheated metal.
That double superheated in this joint sentence was disturbing (at least to me)
That's all I noticed from quick read. Overall it's catchy I'd stick for more. You'll shape things up in time :)
You started at third person narration and then suddenly jumped into first person. Usually it's just one way or another.
I think that backbone of humanities armies is not the best way how to say. How 'bout simple backbone of human armies?
Behind them, another ship exploded, superheated fuel and munitions churning the makeshift carrier into a mass of superheated metal.
That double superheated in this joint sentence was disturbing (at least to me)
That's all I noticed from quick read. Overall it's catchy I'd stick for more. You'll shape things up in time :)
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Room101
Waifu Collector
Mmmm, I see.
I'm wondering which narration to actually stick in. I haven't really done a lot of first-person work, but I feel it's kind of better perspective for what I'm writing (which the story of the pilot).
Thanks for the input.
I'm wondering which narration to actually stick in. I haven't really done a lot of first-person work, but I feel it's kind of better perspective for what I'm writing (which the story of the pilot).
Thanks for the input.
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Late but good morning, Azelle. However it's almost 12 where I am. I'm guessing Rise will be around in 2 or so hours if she doesn't have any problems going on IRL
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Yeah, I know. Still wanna greet you all, anyways. ^_^
Ugh, quite a long talk you all got there yesterday. Star Wars, eh? Watched the movies (except the 3rd Episode) long ago, so can't say much.
Ugh, quite a long talk you all got there yesterday. Star Wars, eh? Watched the movies (except the 3rd Episode) long ago, so can't say much.
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Star Wars was a long time favorite of mine, I don't really like the new animated TV series though.
Oh yeah, Valeriy said he wanted me to clear things up with you about him. You didn't read my post explaining about Valeriy did you?
Oh yeah, Valeriy said he wanted me to clear things up with you about him. You didn't read my post explaining about Valeriy did you?
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Already read it (took long enough, given the number of pages I must read back... >.<). Hooo..... I know he's your cousin, but his age is kind of bit surprise. I thought he was older than that...
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Yeah, so basically he's not in official army and is only part of Army Cadets which he goes to on Tuesday nights, I also happen to be an instructor at his Army Cadet Unit so I take him there with me.