Zombies: Best melee weapon?

A spoon. You know why?

Let's think about it for a second.
I need something that is:
1. long so that i don't come in contact with their highly infective bodies
2. hard and resistant to strong blows so that it will be able to crush skull bones easily without ever breaking
3. easy to use:
a. something that i can get a good grip of in any situation - my hands must be a perfect fit for it's shape
b. i must be able to carry it with myself at all times
c. its size must be shrinkable so that it doesn't take a lot of space
4. it must shoot infinite projectiles with short reloading time for emergency situations
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HELL YEAH! Let the zombie hordes come!
I think i found my perfect melee weapon!

That's right, fuck 'um into submission.

It'd be a Sankarea orgy.

Take your pick...

Nah, it's not the only way.
If you know how to use it a dick can break bricks...

Lack of crovel up here is disappointing...

Probably a sturdy metal bat.

Naginata.
Weapons that involve slashing or blunt force damage often are ineffective and put you dangerously close to infected. I would much rather have a weapon that can quickly limit the movement of a zombie by implement of key limbs or head. Really it's just a matter of disabling movement so to that point the Naginata would be good for disembowelment that would cause collapse of the torso, disabling legs or arms by damaging the hip or pectoral girdle, or creating damage to the jaw.

I'd rather go with a chain or whip or something of similar sorts... You can not only knock away a single zombie, but also whirl it in case you're surrounded(of course wont work with hundreds of zombies around.. :P). Plus you can (Tarzan)swing or catapult out of a bind if you've got eyes... B)

A cricket bat.

And no, not just saying it because of Shaun of the Dead (okay, MAYBE a little because). Seriously, have you ever picked up one of these? They're fucking heavy.

Need I say more?

I imagine a cricket bat would break...
I wouldn't use any sports item (hockey stick, cricket bat, baseball bat, etc) I'd probably get either a sword that doesn't blunt very easily (Some do, they get blunt from one good slice, some don't... think it depends on how the steel was made)
Either that or some kind of steel bar... something solid that won't jar too much >.>

YES.

I'm surprised no one said lightsaber yet. But for real, I'd pick the same sword that Saiko Uses near the end of H.O.T.D. Or a Covenant Energy with infinite power.

HAX

Does a Zaku II count as a Melee weapon if I don't use its firearms?



Actually, don't answer that.
I'm the Gundam Authority around here and I say it counts.
You muthacunta's have fun down their with your crowbars and shit.
I'll be chillin' up here safe and sound in my Zaku.

My fists.

I would chose a spear or a halbard because I'm not getting near one of those things.

A fire axe. Why? It's easy to find, and you can cut down doors with it.




Why no condoms?

Energy sword generator, made up of nanobots allowing it take mundane shapes until i need to use it.

But really, a crowbar. Its small and deadly.

Probably just a bat, preferably metal. No worries of a blade dulling and they're less likely to slip from your hands than a crowbar IMO.