The Holy Bible Needs A Fucking Update

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ryuuhagoku wrote...
Musuko wrote...
I was raised in a Christian household and ended up as an agnostic, but I have a vastly different perspective of the bible than you do, OP.

The bible is a book written by men, for men. Try reading the Old Testament sometime. Not just skimming it, but actually sitting down and reading the entire thing, starting with Genesis and ending with Malachi. (I did.) According to the regulations laid down in the Pentateuch AKA Torah, if you're a woman and you give birth to a girl, you're ritually unclean for longer than if you had given birth to a boy. You're also unclean if you're menstruating. If you're a man, you can't enter into God's presence if you're not intact down there (because God won't deign to let you near him if you don't have your junk in order, apparently). You can help yourself to a female captive of war if it tickles your fancy. The list goes on.

I'm not the type of person who can try to pick the mold off bread and eat what's left. If I find mold on a slice of bread, the whole thing goes straight into the garbage can. These arbitrary, chauvinistic, and nonsensical threads run through the whole of the bible, right up to where Paul wrote, I permit not a woman to teach or have authority over a man. There are parts of the bible that are nice and worth practicing, but calling it a divine revelation or the word of God, when it's so clearly written by men with an agenda, is a serious misappropriation. Many other religious texts have their good parts. The bible isn't unique or special in that regard.

Even if I was inclined to be religious, I'd never throw my lot in with a "holy scripture" that's openly hostile and demeaning to me just because of the accident of my biological sex.

And that's my $0.02.


This is one of the best worded arguments I've seen against biblical legitimacy.


It kind of makes you wonder if God's sexist.
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the unknown wrote...
Fourth,did you know the Bible predicted WWI and WWII?


This is among the most ridiculous things I've seen on this forum and this includes IB goof-off material. This is flimsy for the same reason that "Nostradamus predicted 9/11" nonsense is gobbledegook; placing assigned personal 'meaning' to things after the fact.
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kgods wrote...
the unknown wrote...
Fourth,did you know the Bible predicted WWI and WWII?


This is among the most ridiculous things I've seen on this forum and this includes IB goof-off material. This is flimsy for the same reason that "Nostradamus predicted 9/11" nonsense is gobbledegook; placing assigned personal 'meaning' to things after the fact.


I second that opinion. No mortal can predict the future. Those nostradamus or whatever they are are merely writing something out and those so called "Professors" will interpret them and say who predicted what.

God is the only one that will know what will happen and i doubt He's gonna share it with any of us just like that. The bible is just the bible. It contained God's words but we know how fucked up Man are. They changed the context throughout history to increase their followers. Like the halo thing and how God is an old guy with long white beard. Those are bullshit. They are just made up to increase their followers.

Don't believe me? try googling around or go here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_symbolism
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the unknown wrote...
First of all, there is no one who can be trusted with this task


Fair enough. Not like I'd trust anyone with re writing The Great Gatsby. Course, the bible HAS been updated over and over and over, so it's kind of am oot point.

Second, because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it should be change


Also true. I don't think you'd try to change the Satanic Bible either. Though, Jefferson sure tried to change the bible, at least personally.

Third, the words of the Bible can apply to any generation


...What? I mean...in the most general terms maybe, like in the sense that anything can apply to anything...but most of what the bible says is either morally reprehensible...just plain wrong...or next to useless.

Fourth,did you know the Bible predicted WWI and WWII?


....HAHAHAHAHA, seriously though.

Fifth, have you read the Bible?


The KJV and the NLT. Got a copy of both, plus a child's bible I was given when I was 10 by my Methodist church.

Sixth,don't blame modern Christians actions on the Bible because most of them don't even follow the words of the Bible now a days


...Well that's just purely subjective. I gaurantee not only does Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church think they're fallowing the words of the bible to a T, but they also probably know more than YOU about the bible.

Seventh, if you no longer are a Christian, why do you want something as the Bible to be updated?


If you're not a Black Magic practitioner, why would you want a Harry Potter book updated? Plenty of reasons. 1. To make it more bareable to read, 2. To make it more appealing to the masses, 3. to make it look like it's not trying to be a factual source of information, since it's not. I mean, there's a LOT of reasonsto want a book updated. Not many of them GOOD reasons, but there are plenty of reasons.

Eight, the Bible was not written to be updated. It is not a story that needs to continue.


Tell that to all the people who have updated it. And all the people that follow the updates.

Ninth, if you really understand the Bible,you will see that its stories even apply to modern situations.


Didn't you already say this one? I've read the bible and no, they don't apply unless you force them to. There are far better ways to handle modern situations than the ways described in the bible.


Lastly, it is the freaking Bible!!!


So? Why's that matter? It's just a book, like any other book.
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True holy book has no need to be updated. It contains all rules that is applicable for all eternity, regardless of era. That's why I can't follow bible.
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Some guy was handing out free mini bibles in front of my school, when I took one I said "Thank's for the free firewood!"
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BigLundi wrote...
Fair enough. Not like I'd trust anyone with re writing The Great Gatsby. Course, the bible HAS been updated over and over and over, so it's kind of am oot point.


But I doubt there are drastic changes. I don't feel like buying the updated ones.

Edit: After I did some research, I have been hearing that some worlds are being changed around and thing like that. Like angels now being referred to as birds and the contents being changed through word usages.



BigLundi wrote...
Also true. I don't think you'd try to change the Satanic Bible either. Though, Jefferson sure tried to change the bible, at least personally.


BigLundi wrote...
...What? I mean...in the most general terms maybe, like in the sense that anything can apply to anything...but most of what the bible says is either morally reprehensible...just plain wrong...or next to useless.


it can apply to all generations because humans really don't change. I will agree that some parts of the Bible may be useless but then again, it depends on what you are looking for or if you really understand what is being said.

BigLundi wrote...
....HAHAHAHAHA, seriously though.


I will be honest. I run out of things to say. But it is still a fact that the Bible has not been proving wrong.

BigLundi wrote...
The KJV and the NLT. Got a copy of both, plus a child's bible I was given when I was 10 by my Methodist church.


I was referring to the main post.

BigLundi wrote...
...Well that's just purely subjective. I gaurantee not only does Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church think they're fallowing the words of the bible to a T, but they also probably know more than YOU about the bible.


But, Fred Phelps based his reasoning on assumption. Since you have read the Bible, tell me where it is written that God hates gays. Tell me where in the Bible that can back up his reason. Also doesn't the Bible say love one another?

BigLundi wrote...
If you're not a Black Magic practitioner, why would you want a Harry Potter book updated? Plenty of reasons. 1. To make it more bareable to read, 2. To make it more appealing to the masses, 3. to make it look like it's not trying to be a factual source of information, since it's not. I mean, there's a LOT of reasonsto want a book updated. Not many of them GOOD reasons, but there are plenty of reasons.


I will have to agree with you on this. But, because you have a reason does not mean it has to be updated. If I don't understand one of Shakespeare's works, does it mean it has to be updated for a better understanding in this generation?

BigLundi wrote...
Tell that to all the people who have updated it. And all the people that follow the updates.


I don't have a valid reason to go against them. I don't know if it is updated to make it more understanding to this generation. But, I still have a mix filling about it because it is like someone rewriting Hamlet. Sure it might make it a little bit easier to understand then again, you are messing with the writer's words.

Edit: I now believe buying the new ones is a bad idea

BigLundi wrote...
Didn't you already say this one? I've read the bible and no, they don't apply unless you force them to. There are far better ways to handle modern situations than the ways described in the bible.


BigLundi wrote...
So? Why's that matter? It's just a book, like any other book.


Yeah but a whole religion is based on this book.


To sum it up:
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Lelouch24 wrote...
The Bible is never "updated" or changed, it's been the same for the last 1900+ years. people make new translations of it so that it uses more modern language, but the version they translate from (the original Hebrew version) never changes. If you want a true translation, read something like the "youngs literal transation", but if you want something easy to understand, read the New international version.

NeroDBringer wrote...
I never took the Holy Bible into a part of my life, i had a few Bible study lessons, but then just gave up, found it very contradicting to both the USA's laws and the words of god, i am an atheist though i only like 1 phrase from the bible. and some examples below

It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.


-PSST, THE QUOTE'S FROM A GAME-

Example to my statement: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty, and justice for all."

We pledge to flag symbolizing god
Contradiction: God's Commandments states we cannot have an idol or symbol representing him. This was emphasized in a story i believe.
Another one would be the US not favoring any certain religion in it's Deceleration of Independence, the government shall not force a religion onto people and as well as the government

Feel free to correct me, just don't blow up and WRTE LIEK A FVE YAER OLLDD in caps


do you seriously think that the revelation quote is from a game (I'm curious which game it's in)?, The bible is almost 2000 years old! obviously the game quoted the bible. also, in the pledge of allegiance, we pledge to the flag of the united states of america, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God. um... the flag represents the USA, not God. The only thing it says about God is that our nation is under God.


I'll admit that there are alot of controversies in interpreting the bible, but most of these are minor. I believe that we have guilt when we sin, and that this guilt lets us know what's a sin and what's not. other stuff like baptism is not very important; I think that if it was important there would be very clear, detailed instructions about it. The bible is not flawed, and I believe that God protected His word during translations



I believe he means he saw the quote in Fallout 3, but should the bible be updated no. Because as the Old Testament is essentially the history of the Jewish people and the New testament is a guide on how to live a more "socially moral" life.
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My beliefs/opinions surrounding the bible.

Note: BELIEFS and OPINIONS. If you don't agree, don't bitch. It just makes you look uneducated and intolerant.

The bible is either the worlds biggest joke or biggest work of fiction. My personal belief is that some guy wrote a book for lulz and passed it off as nonfiction to see what people would say about it. Soon he found the book to have a following, and thus, a religion is born. Religion has always played the role of a few leaders leading their "flock" through threats of damnation and hellfire, more often than not. At least from my experiences. Bible toters scream, rant and rave about burning in a lake of eternal fire if you so much as point out a single inconsistency in the book.

Before anyone tells me to actually read it... I have. Front to back, NKJV, leather bound with frilly gold feathering on the page edges. It was a gift when I was an impressionable young girl. I wasn't impressed, but I gave the whole Christianity thing a shot. I look back and realize how hypocritical the entire establishment is. In itself, it's a "fairly harmless" religion, but intolerance and moral interpretation has opened it to corrupted leadership. It's a rotting institution just like any other long-time established group. Personally, I can see it falling under it's own problems before long. Not vanishing, per se, but in need of massive restructuring at the very least. People like the idiots in Kansas who protest EVERYTHING and spread the message that everyone but them are going to hell don't help matters. They aren't good Christians, you say? I've yet to meet one who could talk religion with me without blolwing up and resorting to fire and brimstone as a reason for doing what their pastor/reverand/preacher and holy book say.

All this being said, I USED to be an avid Christian. Like I previously stated though. I found it to be a corrupt institution not much better than some of the cults people whine about. Because you can leave voluntarily doesn't make it that much better than being trapped there. So, an update? Nah, it just needs a revision or to be completely re-written. It's all fiction anyways. It implies that morals are based around Christianity, but I knew right and wrong long before I first stepped foot into a church. But that's another SD thread all together. Good day ladies and gentlemen.
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Hmmm... It doesn't hurt to believe. remember religion is all about faith. nothing more nothing less. your choice.
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PrinnyKaboom wrote...
My beliefs/opinions surrounding the bible.

Note: BELIEFS and OPINIONS. If you don't agree, don't bitch. It just makes you look uneducated and intolerant.

The bible is either the worlds biggest joke or biggest work of fiction. My personal belief is that some guy wrote a book for lulz and passed it off as nonfiction to see what people would say about it. Soon he found the book to have a following, and thus, a religion is born. Religion has always played the role of a few leaders leading their "flock" through threats of damnation and hellfire, more often than not. At least from my experiences. Bible toters scream, rant and rave about burning in a lake of eternal fire if you so much as point out a single inconsistency in the book.

Before anyone tells me to actually read it... I have. Front to back, NKJV, leather bound with frilly gold feathering on the page edges. It was a gift when I was an impressionable young girl. I wasn't impressed, but I gave the whole Christianity thing a shot. I look back and realize how hypocritical the entire establishment is. In itself, it's a "fairly harmless" religion, but intolerance and moral interpretation has opened it to corrupted leadership. It's a rotting institution just like any other long-time established group. Personally, I can see it falling under it's own problems before long. Not vanishing, per se, but in need of massive restructuring at the very least. People like the idiots in Kansas who protest EVERYTHING and spread the message that everyone but them are going to hell don't help matters. They aren't good Christians, you say? I've yet to meet one who could talk religion with me without blolwing up and resorting to fire and brimstone as a reason for doing what their pastor/reverand/preacher and holy book say.

All this being said, I USED to be an avid Christian. Like I previously stated though. I found it to be a corrupt institution not much better than some of the cults people whine about. Because you can leave voluntarily doesn't make it that much better than being trapped there. So, an update? Nah, it just needs a revision or to be completely re-written. It's all fiction anyways. It implies that morals are based around Christianity, but I knew right and wrong long before I first stepped foot into a church. But that's another SD thread all together. Good day ladies and gentlemen.



I'm not gonna say your wrong because I agree with you that the church is corrupt which is why I don't go to church, but to say that someone made it up for Lulz is highly immature statement
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chriton wrote...
PrinnyKaboom wrote...
My beliefs/opinions surrounding the bible.

Note: BELIEFS and OPINIONS. If you don't agree, don't bitch. It just makes you look uneducated and intolerant.

The bible is either the worlds biggest joke or biggest work of fiction. My personal belief is that some guy wrote a book for lulz and passed it off as nonfiction to see what people would say about it. Soon he found the book to have a following, and thus, a religion is born. Religion has always played the role of a few leaders leading their "flock" through threats of damnation and hellfire, more often than not. At least from my experiences. Bible toters scream, rant and rave about burning in a lake of eternal fire if you so much as point out a single inconsistency in the book.

Before anyone tells me to actually read it... I have. Front to back, NKJV, leather bound with frilly gold feathering on the page edges. It was a gift when I was an impressionable young girl. I wasn't impressed, but I gave the whole Christianity thing a shot. I look back and realize how hypocritical the entire establishment is. In itself, it's a "fairly harmless" religion, but intolerance and moral interpretation has opened it to corrupted leadership. It's a rotting institution just like any other long-time established group. Personally, I can see it falling under it's own problems before long. Not vanishing, per se, but in need of massive restructuring at the very least. People like the idiots in Kansas who protest EVERYTHING and spread the message that everyone but them are going to hell don't help matters. They aren't good Christians, you say? I've yet to meet one who could talk religion with me without blolwing up and resorting to fire and brimstone as a reason for doing what their pastor/reverand/preacher and holy book say.

All this being said, I USED to be an avid Christian. Like I previously stated though. I found it to be a corrupt institution not much better than some of the cults people whine about. Because you can leave voluntarily doesn't make it that much better than being trapped there. So, an update? Nah, it just needs a revision or to be completely re-written. It's all fiction anyways. It implies that morals are based around Christianity, but I knew right and wrong long before I first stepped foot into a church. But that's another SD thread all together. Good day ladies and gentlemen.



I'm not gonna say your wrong because I agree with you that the church is corrupt which is why I don't go to church, but to say that someone made it up for Lulz is highly immature statement


How so? "For lulz" is a general term, unless you're saying that someone writing the bible as a fictional set of moral anecdotes and passing it off as nonfiction is somehow implausible? Please elaborate, not just say that I'm immature and run off.
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FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind
I read some pretty good responses, so I'll just add a few more statements of my own opinion. As a child I would always ask my mom questions regarding the bible and god's mysterious behavior (ex. If God didn't want Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, then why did he create the Tree of Knowledge?). The silent or baseless responses turned me away from Christianity gradually, but I still wanted to believe in God. As I got older I turned into a picky eating Agnostic. I would take concepts from various religions (Buddhism, Hebrew, ex.) and make it my own "personal" religion (Which I plan to share with others via a video game). Nowadays I'm going to my uncle's Christian church mainly to spend time with him and my Grandmother(as well as worshiping God socially rather than in isolation.).

Anyways, after reading some of your posts, I made peace with how the bible was written. In fact, I believe we're in the era where our faith in God (or nature if you're into that atheist thing) will be tested. Many people will fail the test, but the few who survive will rewrite history and breed a new race that can conquer even the universe. IMO, God created the universe to be our play ground. In order to play in it, we have to go from crawling to walking, and then running. We're already built to master the universe, we just need a little more motivation to put the design into action. God Speed....
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PrinnyKaboom wrote...
chriton wrote...
PrinnyKaboom wrote...
My beliefs/opinions surrounding the bible.

Note: BELIEFS and OPINIONS. If you don't agree, don't bitch. It just makes you look uneducated and intolerant.

The bible is either the worlds biggest joke or biggest work of fiction. My personal belief is that some guy wrote a book for lulz and passed it off as nonfiction to see what people would say about it. Soon he found the book to have a following, and thus, a religion is born. Religion has always played the role of a few leaders leading their "flock" through threats of damnation and hellfire, more often than not. At least from my experiences. Bible toters scream, rant and rave about burning in a lake of eternal fire if you so much as point out a single inconsistency in the book.

Before anyone tells me to actually read it... I have. Front to back, NKJV, leather bound with frilly gold feathering on the page edges. It was a gift when I was an impressionable young girl. I wasn't impressed, but I gave the whole Christianity thing a shot. I look back and realize how hypocritical the entire establishment is. In itself, it's a "fairly harmless" religion, but intolerance and moral interpretation has opened it to corrupted leadership. It's a rotting institution just like any other long-time established group. Personally, I can see it falling under it's own problems before long. Not vanishing, per se, but in need of massive restructuring at the very least. People like the idiots in Kansas who protest EVERYTHING and spread the message that everyone but them are going to hell don't help matters. They aren't good Christians, you say? I've yet to meet one who could talk religion with me without blolwing up and resorting to fire and brimstone as a reason for doing what their pastor/reverand/preacher and holy book say.

All this being said, I USED to be an avid Christian. Like I previously stated though. I found it to be a corrupt institution not much better than some of the cults people whine about. Because you can leave voluntarily doesn't make it that much better than being trapped there. So, an update? Nah, it just needs a revision or to be completely re-written. It's all fiction anyways. It implies that morals are based around Christianity, but I knew right and wrong long before I first stepped foot into a church. But that's another SD thread all together. Good day ladies and gentlemen.



I'm not gonna say your wrong because I agree with you that the church is corrupt which is why I don't go to church, but to say that someone made it up for Lulz is highly immature statement


How so? "For lulz" is a general term, unless you're saying that someone writing the bible as a fictional set of moral anecdotes and passing it off as nonfiction is somehow implausible? Please elaborate, not just say that I'm immature and run off.


Running off? Your the one who said that it was written "As a Joke or tried to pass fiction off as non-fiction" which the latter is an even bigger joke then writting a joke book on purpose
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As stimulating as your unfounded insults have been, how about actually contributing to the debate? Or have you never heard of a humor section in a bookstore? Or how many people write/assemble books and put it in a serious tone? Thanks for the failtrolling through. :3
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PrinnyKaboom wrote...
As stimulating as your unfounded insults have been, how about actually contributing to the debate? Or have you never heard of a humor section in a bookstore? Or how many people write/assemble books and put it in a serious tone? Thanks for the failtrolling through. :3



See now your just throwing out bs because you can't actually debate my comments. If you don't have anything intelligent to say don't say anything at all
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Did you two just devolve this into a "I know you are but what am I?!" conversation?


...Srsly.
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BigLundi wrote...
Did you two just devolve this into a "I know you are but what am I?!" conversation?


...Srsly.


I'm sorry I just couldn't let it go. It's out of my system now
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Gravity cat the adequately amused
When I started secondary school, it was a Church of England school at the time. So all year 7's (freshmen to you Americans) got a free, small red "Psalms" bible.

I never read or burnt it and I don't believe in Christianity either, I've just kept it as a souvenir.
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