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I wasn't sure where to put this, so forgive me if this is not in the right section.
However, I thought it would be an interesting question to ask.
How does one develop more self confidence or otherwise strengthen their own self esteem? What sort of positive thinking techniques have you fostered for yourself? Do you remind yourself of your own good traits and qualities? Do you meditate? Do you attempt to improve on those things that make you unhappy? Do you exercise? Do you flush out all your negativity into a journal of some kind?
What helps you become a better, more confident individual in your everyday life?
However, I thought it would be an interesting question to ask.
How does one develop more self confidence or otherwise strengthen their own self esteem? What sort of positive thinking techniques have you fostered for yourself? Do you remind yourself of your own good traits and qualities? Do you meditate? Do you attempt to improve on those things that make you unhappy? Do you exercise? Do you flush out all your negativity into a journal of some kind?
What helps you become a better, more confident individual in your everyday life?
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It depends what is making your self confidence go down.
I still haven't developed much self esteem myself so I don't know if my post will be relevant. I have struggled my whole life with severe anxiety/depression and panic disorder to the point where I couldn't live a normal life or even have regular school classes.
Buuuuuuut, usually I just continue to tell myself that whatever is going on in my head is not true and that I deserve happiness and I'm just as much as a person as everybody else. I used to have notes everywhere in my house and on my mirrors with little helpfull tips that help me get through the day.
Also just try not to let anybody bring you down. Like people will try and you have to stand tall. Its so hard and I'm still working on this myself.
It also helps to have my friends and family tell me how beautiful, smart and a great person I am everyday. There is a lot of therapeutic things people do to help themselves wit confidence and what not. Everyone is different and different things work for different people. Again, it would all depend on what is making your confidence go down in the first place.
I still haven't developed much self esteem myself so I don't know if my post will be relevant. I have struggled my whole life with severe anxiety/depression and panic disorder to the point where I couldn't live a normal life or even have regular school classes.
Buuuuuuut, usually I just continue to tell myself that whatever is going on in my head is not true and that I deserve happiness and I'm just as much as a person as everybody else. I used to have notes everywhere in my house and on my mirrors with little helpfull tips that help me get through the day.
Also just try not to let anybody bring you down. Like people will try and you have to stand tall. Its so hard and I'm still working on this myself.
It also helps to have my friends and family tell me how beautiful, smart and a great person I am everyday. There is a lot of therapeutic things people do to help themselves wit confidence and what not. Everyone is different and different things work for different people. Again, it would all depend on what is making your confidence go down in the first place.
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Hmm Its a hard question and the answer very from person to person.
I have always been know as the person with to much of it.
The way I keep my confidence up is that I don't care.
Life is to short to care about small things.
But when I feel down I usually go out at night to watch the stars and just think about how small I am in the big picture and that all problems are even smaller than I.
I have always been know as the person with to much of it.
The way I keep my confidence up is that I don't care.
Life is to short to care about small things.
But when I feel down I usually go out at night to watch the stars and just think about how small I am in the big picture and that all problems are even smaller than I.
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Fruid
Lurker of Threads
^
Or if you want a more sensible approach, then do things you normally do not do or hesitate to do. Why? Expanding your experience makes more things less significant than they are to you now.
Or if you want a more sensible approach, then do things you normally do not do or hesitate to do. Why? Expanding your experience makes more things less significant than they are to you now.
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Go out, do something you're not used to. Fail at it. Scowl. Curse. Keep trying anyways. Eventually: Success. Self-esteem: Boosted. Repeat with new objective. May get it on first try. May take months. Irrelevant. Result is what will help. Journey is just bonus life experience.
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To all OP's questions, yes. I do all of the above. From my experience with depression and social anxiety, what's most important to understand is:
It can be self-persecution.
It can be the social environment you stick to.
It can be personal habits that aren't conducive to your happiness. No, not momentary satisfaction, but happiness that reflects what kind of person you aim to be.
It all helps me. And only I can help myself. It depends how I interpret that thought, that determines what attitude I hold about myself.
Also, baby steps forward is more commendable than not moving at all.
ponponpon wrote...
It depends what is making your self confidence go down.It can be self-persecution.
Spoiler:
It can be the social environment you stick to.
Spoiler:
It can be personal habits that aren't conducive to your happiness. No, not momentary satisfaction, but happiness that reflects what kind of person you aim to be.
Spoiler:
It all helps me. And only I can help myself. It depends how I interpret that thought, that determines what attitude I hold about myself.
Also, baby steps forward is more commendable than not moving at all.
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623
FAKKU QA
I like myself and think I'm a decent person even after identifying most of my serious flaws and because of that I have self-confidence. Not to mention I don't give a shit about a lot of things. However, there are still areas where I could use a little more confidence.
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personally I find being involved in cosplay has helped my self esteem like crazy. While I still have some social anxiety problems; being apart of cosplay has helped me with making friends, learning skills and keeping myself relaxed. I've done better in my personal relationships, school and business networking too since I started getting more serious about cosplay.
When I am sewing or putting together any cosplay I find the whole process requires a lot of concentration making it hard for me to focus on negativity. The more concentration and passion I put into the costume the happier I am with the result and the better it makes me feel about my own abilities and in turn myself. Being able to then meet people who are fans of the series or praise for the work I put into my costume is a huge confidence boost too of course!
When I am sewing or putting together any cosplay I find the whole process requires a lot of concentration making it hard for me to focus on negativity. The more concentration and passion I put into the costume the happier I am with the result and the better it makes me feel about my own abilities and in turn myself. Being able to then meet people who are fans of the series or praise for the work I put into my costume is a huge confidence boost too of course!
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For starters, I wouldn't be asking people in a hentai forum. While we could give potentially helpful advice I would suggest maybe a forum that is made specifically for this kind of stuff.
But if you feel it's better cause we all are somewhat similar let me just say this: if you want to put a change into yourself you have to actually make the effort. If you complain about gaining weight, you can't keep doing the same thing over and over.
Same with self-confidence. You have to keep doing stuff that takes you out of your comfort zone. Baby steps, but gradually it should work.
Or you could just do what I do and only hit on girls while I'm drunk. Courage juice is what my friends call it.
But if you feel it's better cause we all are somewhat similar let me just say this: if you want to put a change into yourself you have to actually make the effort. If you complain about gaining weight, you can't keep doing the same thing over and over.
Same with self-confidence. You have to keep doing stuff that takes you out of your comfort zone. Baby steps, but gradually it should work.
Or you could just do what I do and only hit on girls while I'm drunk. Courage juice is what my friends call it.
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Self-esteem? I can't help on that, mine is very low. I have enough character to accept that.
I'm trying to fill my empty self-esteem with character growth. Character, is many things, some things include: not being a hothead, being tolerant, hearing what others have to say even if you don't agree, be open to new ideas, accepting one's flaws, and so on.
What makes up confidence?
- Experience. The more we experience, the better prepared we are for a variety of situations. Everyone knows so. Many posts in this thread already covered the subject of experiencing and living, so I will not bother explaining better in this part.
- Intelligence and/or Knowledge. Knowing more makes you more assured and more confident to join in a conversation.
- Character. Acknowledging you have character, something others lack, makes you a bit confident and perhaps a bit proud of yourself.
- Appearance. Looking better than average, either genes or in healthy physical shape. Also, you don't need a mainstream image six pack to be healthy, you dumb fucks. Just be in normal weight. Helps in both confidence and self-esteem- until someone criticizes it anyway.
- Behavior. Manners, language, and so on. Makes you feel and look better when in use. Knowing you aren't unlike the person at the other side of the room, eating with an open mouth, never says "please" or "thank you", and shows a continious use of the word "like", really helps with your own confidence.
On a side note, let me remember you all that our society gives a negative look that it is wrong to not be outgoing. From very early in our youth we are taught at school and by the medias to be unrealitically outgoing. You don't have to act like a moron and wave flags for attention.
However, may I mention that what everyone wrote, even what I wrote, is easier to say than to do? Let me give it the cliché phrase, "Easier said than done.".
I'm trying to fill my empty self-esteem with character growth. Character, is many things, some things include: not being a hothead, being tolerant, hearing what others have to say even if you don't agree, be open to new ideas, accepting one's flaws, and so on.
What makes up confidence?
- Experience. The more we experience, the better prepared we are for a variety of situations. Everyone knows so. Many posts in this thread already covered the subject of experiencing and living, so I will not bother explaining better in this part.
- Intelligence and/or Knowledge. Knowing more makes you more assured and more confident to join in a conversation.
- Character. Acknowledging you have character, something others lack, makes you a bit confident and perhaps a bit proud of yourself.
- Appearance. Looking better than average, either genes or in healthy physical shape. Also, you don't need a mainstream image six pack to be healthy, you dumb fucks. Just be in normal weight. Helps in both confidence and self-esteem- until someone criticizes it anyway.
- Behavior. Manners, language, and so on. Makes you feel and look better when in use. Knowing you aren't unlike the person at the other side of the room, eating with an open mouth, never says "please" or "thank you", and shows a continious use of the word "like", really helps with your own confidence.
On a side note, let me remember you all that our society gives a negative look that it is wrong to not be outgoing. From very early in our youth we are taught at school and by the medias to be unrealitically outgoing. You don't have to act like a moron and wave flags for attention.
However, may I mention that what everyone wrote, even what I wrote, is easier to say than to do? Let me give it the cliché phrase, "Easier said than done.".
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Take all of the What if(s)?, worst case scenarios, doubts, and fears out your head. Once you take those things holding you back away you'll be able to do things you haven't before. You basically have to defeat your own insecurities and just think about doing what you have to do and not think about the downside or the "What if(s)?"
That's the simple answer but effective one but it's also easier said than done. Trust me, I had the same problem you have at the moment.
That's the simple answer but effective one but it's also easier said than done. Trust me, I had the same problem you have at the moment.
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Like someone told me once: "just do it." If my life isn't good enough then go and make it better. I won't get anywhere just sitting around. When you accomplish things somehow you just feel better about yourself and are motivated to do more. Personally that's how I do it. Push yourself and you can achieve great things.
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This is my motto.
As much as there are "bad" qualities you have that make you feel less confident there are as much "good" qualities that should make you feel better about yourself.
No point in getting upset about those kinds of things. The only thing you can do is change it.
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I CREATE FICTIONAL SCENARIOS AND MAKE PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES IN THEM AND BATTLE MONSTERS THROUGH SWORDPLAY AND MAGIC.
Talking in public and learning how to improvise helped me agreat deal with my self confidence in some matters. Knowing your strong points also helps.
Talking in public and learning how to improvise helped me agreat deal with my self confidence in some matters. Knowing your strong points also helps.
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You talk to people, get hobbies and other stuff.
I made an account here to practice talking and become more spontaneous in conversations
I made an account here to practice talking and become more spontaneous in conversations
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Everyone has given me wonderful responses! I'm actually surprised by the number who chose to contribute I very much appreciate it, and I'd love for everyone to continue to do so! I think this has proven to be quite a productive thread. I'm definitely taking your advice and suggestions to heart. Thank you!
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Something I think you can do, even though I'm not entirely sure it is good advice, is to become [more] narcissistic. Exercise a few times a week, take care of your image and while you do it, get all Patrick Bateman with yourself, in other words, positive reinforcement. After that, I suppose it would help getting some nice clothes, wallet, cellphone. I know it sounds awful since I am only talking about shallow stuff but I've seen it help. Like, I've seen girls getting all dressed up to go out, after, I presumed a blow to their self-esteem, and then they collapse when their crappy phone dies for no reason.
When appearance fails, which it will, the best thing, and this I'm sure is good advice, is to have a sense of humor. When you are with your friends, meeting new people or giving a presentation, you are bound to slip up, maybe even literally. I find that, if you have a sense of humor, people always laugh with you, never at you.
When appearance fails, which it will, the best thing, and this I'm sure is good advice, is to have a sense of humor. When you are with your friends, meeting new people or giving a presentation, you are bound to slip up, maybe even literally. I find that, if you have a sense of humor, people always laugh with you, never at you.