How do you deal with feeling depressed?

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So, I feel depressed alot. And I've got some things to be depressed about I guess. I'm not a big fan of my job and I get lonely being single. And while it would be nice to fix those things and imagine that it would solve all my problems, I also realize that's probably not realistic and won't guarantee I'll stop being depressed.


So, as a serious question. What do you guys do to help when you feel depressed or how do you handle feeling depressed for long periods of time?
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Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.
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Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


Honestly they never really seem to help. I've tried a bunch of times but they just want to sit there and hear me talk. And almost every time I feel like they don't understand me or what I'm saying and alot of times I also feel like I can't be honest with them. That and cost keeps me from doing much more with them.
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


I don't think that is a bad option, but I don't think you should immediately tell everyone who says they are depressed they should go to a doctor since depression is different for everyone. I know when I was depressed I was able to snap out of it because mine was merely situational and once I got away from my stressors I was much better.

I would first suggest OP to think about what his stressors are or what is it that makes him depressed. Two are work and being single/lonely, but think if there is anything else that you are not happy with. Once you find out what those things are, then figure out if you can either A. Change these things or B. Cannot.

If you can change some of these things then you should attempt to do so. With being single, maybe try to find people (doesn't have to be a lady friend) who you can hang out with. If you cannot then just go out on your own to places, even just going to a bookstore or a game store can give you social interaction. Maybe even try to find classes or actives to do such as learning to dance or taking a cooking class. I know for myself I found a place that offers free dance classes that I go to every now and then just to get out.

The things you cannot change or can't change right away such as your job can be harder to cope with, but you have to look at it as I have to do this for now and maybe I can plan for a change later. I know I personally hate where I am working at the moment, but I am planning to apply for jobs in the near future and quit this one because this first job was only to get my foot in the door. I'm suffering through it to do what I have to do since I know there is no other alternative for me.

Other things you can do to feel less depressed is to do things that you find enjoyable such as reading, writing, playing videogames, cooking, talking with a random friend, enjoying the internet, etc.

Biggest thing I can say is just let yourself feel what you need to feel and learn to become stronger as result. I know I let stress take over my life at one point which caused me to become very depressed. I had some very hard years dealing with this, but eventually with the help of some unexpected friends and through my own sheer will I found the strength to move on. It has taken a lot of work on my part and the support of others has greatly helped, but I am glad to say that I am not depressed. I still get own, but not to the extent I was.

If you find that you are having trouble living and doing normal everyday life activities or have thoughts of suicide/have attempted suicide then I would suggest talking to someone about this. It is okay to seek help if you feel you need it. Just know though that no matter what anyone says never look at what you experience or think is crazy. We all are different and have thoughts/feelings that are not all equal, so no one should have the right to judge you and put you down for what you feel and if you find that the help you get isn't helping then try something else. Biggest thing though is don't let people or things such as medication be your crutch. You have to find the will to stay strong and to fight your depression, it's not easy I can say so from experience but it's too easy to give up on everything so why not do your best and fight?

Wish you the best and hope you find a way to cope. Life is enjoyable and can be worth while if you take the time to see it. I'm both and optimist and a pessimist but I like to work on my one optimistic side more then my other, gives me something to do lol.

Oh and eating right/working out, sleeping enough, and taking care of your body can help your mental mood. It's okay to enjoy junk food and be lazy, but having a balance and working on yourself is really good therapy for the body and mind.
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Armar wrote...
Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


Honestly they never really seem to help. I've tried a bunch of times but they just want to sit there and hear me talk. And almost every time I feel like they don't understand me or what I'm saying and alot of times I also feel like I can't be honest with them. That and cost keeps me from doing much more with them.


The fact that you can't be honest, itself, hinders things. You're the only one at fault.

As for "just sitting and hearing", it's at minimum completely inaccurate to completely biased. There are a bunch of specializations in psychology and the likes. For example psychoanalysts ("sitting, hearing, discussing"), psychologists (different personalized approaches and ways to deal), psychotherapists (some more on a biomedical scale, some more on a psychological scale), etc. You can undergo expressive or systemic or cognitive/behavioral therapies, with or without medication, with or without training/coaching, etc.

Don't talk as if you would have already tried everything, coz it's a pretty vast and complex study filed we're talking about.


So I would advise you to be honest both with yourself and your (family) doctor instead of seeking bullshit from complete strangers on some hentai community over the Internet.




Misaki_Chi wrote...
Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


I don't think that is a bad option, but I don't think you should immediately tell everyone who says they are depressed they should go to a doctor since depression is different for everyone. I know when I was depressed I was able to snap out of it because mine was merely situational and once I got away from my stressors I was much better.


Be it work and relationship in his case, I guess if he could change it easily, he would have done so. In a way :
Misaki_Chi wrote...
Once you find out what those things are, then figure out if you can either A. Change these things or B. Cannot.

... then he is in need of external (pyschological, medical) help.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
The things you cannot change or can't change right away such as your job can be harder to cope with, but you have to look at it as I have to do this for now and maybe I can plan for a change later.


The problem is when people can't properly cope with, they slowly sink day by day into depressed state. The more depressed, the harder to deal accurately with a situation. Try to keep that in mind.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Other things you can do to feel less depressed is to do things that you find enjoyable such as reading, writing, playing videogames, cooking, talking with a random friend, enjoying the internet, etc.

... is what everyone would think of. Unless too depressed to the point that even the things you care for seem meaningless -- I would urge you to consult 8|

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Biggest thing I can say is just let yourself feel what you need to feel and learn to become stronger as result.


Easier said than done. Moreover it is not always a "solution" since some depressed people can already be into an avolition vicious circle.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Oh and eating right/working out, sleeping enough, and taking care of your body can help your mental mood. It's okay to enjoy junk food and be lazy, but having a balance and working on yourself is really good therapy for the body and mind.

That ^ is a base. It's very good/useful to remind this :)
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
Fligger wrote...
Spoiler:
Armar wrote...
Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


Honestly they never really seem to help. I've tried a bunch of times but they just want to sit there and hear me talk. And almost every time I feel like they don't understand me or what I'm saying and alot of times I also feel like I can't be honest with them. That and cost keeps me from doing much more with them.


The fact that you can't be honest, itself, hinders things. You're the only one at fault.

As for "just sitting and hearing", it's at minimum completely inaccurate to completely biased. There are a bunch of specializations in psychology and the likes. For example psychoanalysts ("sitting, hearing, discussing"), psychologists (different personalized approaches and ways to deal), psychotherapists (some more on a biomedical scale, some more on a psychological scale), etc. You can undergo expressive or systemic or cognitive/behavioral therapies, with or without medication, with or without training/coaching, etc.

Don't talk as if you would already had tried everything, coz it's a pretty vast and complex study filed we're talking about.


So I would advise you to be honest both with yourself and your (family) doctor instead of seeking bullshit from complete strangers on some hentai community over the Internet.




Misaki_Chi wrote...
Fligger wrote...
Begin by talking with your doctor. It is not a sacrasm : depressed syndroms can be "deal with" and cured as long as you do the necessary.


I don't think that is a bad option, but I don't think you should immediately tell everyone who says they are depressed they should go to a doctor since depression is different for everyone. I know when I was depressed I was able to snap out of it because mine was merely situational and once I got away from my stressors I was much better.


Be it work and relationship in his case, I guess if he could change it easily, he would have done so. In a way :
Misaki_Chi wrote...
Once you find out what those things are, then figure out if you can either A. Change these things or B. Cannot.

... then he is in need of external (pyschological, medical) help.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
The things you cannot change or can't change right away such as your job can be harder to cope with, but you have to look at it as I have to do this for now and maybe I can plan for a change later.


The problem is when people can't properly cope with, they slowly sink day by day into depressed state. The more depressed, the harder to deal accurately with a situation. Try to keep that in mind.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Other things you can do to feel less depressed is to do things that you find enjoyable such as reading, writing, playing videogames, cooking, talking with a random friend, enjoying the internet, etc.

... is what everyone would think of. Unless too depressed to the point that even the things you care for seem meaningless -- I would urge you to consult 8|

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Biggest thing I can say is just let yourself feel what you need to feel and learn to become stronger as result.


Easier said than done. Moreover it is not always a "solution" since some depressed people can already be into an avolition vicious circle.

Misaki_Chi wrote...
Oh and eating right/working out, sleeping enough, and taking care of your body can help your mental mood. It's okay to enjoy junk food and be lazy, but having a balance and working on yourself is really good therapy for the body and mind.

That ^ is a base. It's very good/useful to remind this :)


Yup I know that if you are depressed enough that words and tips/tricks aren't enough to get a person to suddenly start to change and become less depressed. Been there and done that with therapists and doctors of the many variety you spoke up and it's definitely true you need to find people that work with you best because one person with a certain type of credentials doesn't mean they are the best for you.

I know once I did try the plethora of help that was out there I found the main issue with myself personally was something I had to work on myself. Sort of hit cross roads where I either could give up on life or keep fighting and I chose the latter. Mainly chose it because someone close to me told me it's far too easy to end the game so why not continue playing and see what happens? The words alone worked for me (that and I had some traumatic experiences that led me to want to never go back to doctors, but that's another story for another day). So I said fuck to being sorry for myself and wallowing in my own self pity.

Main thing though is I just tell people don't give up. I won't feel upset if someone takes their life since it's a person's choice, but I just want to speak my peace and try to help in some way since someone did it for me and it helped. That and I don't feel right not helping, call it selfish, but I'd rather be this kind of selfish then the one where I bitch about senseless shit xD
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Masturbate until my arm cant keep going. Works sometimes.

I also used to be really depressed but what I ended up doing is meeting a few random people online to collaborate with on random projects. One time we made a mobile game, another time we made an anime pilot.

Just find something that you can enjoy doing and let it be your shining light. For me it was a good group of strangers, and for you... Well you have to find something you enjoy.
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@ Misaki_Chi

I noticed that you didn't do it out of thoughtless/heartless intentions :-)

The thing is... Depressed people are fragile. Internet is not a safe space to get "safe" turnkey solutions. Each case is to be handle for itself and in that aspect (psychology), what works for fellow A might not work for fellow B or even harm fellow C. F.W. Nietzsche said "the devil is in the details", meaning inaccuracy and/or incompleteness of analysis (of a situation, of a problem, etc) tend to lead to inefficiency or even harmfulness.

It might look "big words" but it's all about really helping someone rather than another "yourself" -- be it memories or just unconsciously projecting yourself in a situation as you imagine (which is inaccurate both on the imagined situation side and on the individuality of personal reactions side). It's pretty complex to avoid the self bias (egoism, egocentrism, egotism...). In that aspect, medical/psychology practitioners have normally undergone training so they'll minimize their own self bias. It's not perfect because we're all human but should you/one make the effort to communicate at least with a trustworthy doctor, there are safest and greatest chances to make things work.
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jww187 Plays poorly
I'm not a doctor, but I'm speaking as someone who has experienced depression on and off for twelve years. I've never gone to a doctor for it/been medicated. I'm not saying I've been sad a few weeks or months during that time, but actually really depressed/contemplating suicide probably about once a month(on average). Lately its better, because I have more hope in my life. So I know exactly what you mean OP when you talk about knowing your issues, and not being convinced fixing them will make you happy.

First off if you can afford doctors/meds go for it. If your issue is neurological meds may help you. Like you I'm not a fan of my job(as well as salary/benefits), and I cannot afford to seek treatment. So if you can explore it more you should.

I would say you should talk to your friends about it, but I would be the biggest hippocrit in the world. While I'm close to my friends, and they know (to a small degree) that I suffer with it. I won't talk much about it, or we'll mostly talk about a symptom(single,body,job,school debt). Still if you can, share some of the burden. Sometimes we don't realize the weight we force ourselves to carry.

So what really helps me? Two things, hope and principle. Principle gets me through the tough nights. Its a mix knowledge of who I am, that I can get through it, some theist beliefs, and wanting to see what's next. Hope gets me through the years. Life won't always be this way. I can build a better tomorrow, and eat away at my issues through effort. misaki-chi's advice is spot on. The times I've done best like now, require eating right, exercising, getting sleep, socializing, and following a hobby I like. If you can keep yourself busy/balanced with those things while working on improving your troubled areas over time(and it does take time), then who knows. You may find your answer in there.

All in all this is the internet. A place for suggestions not answers. I wish you well on your journey to find them my friend!
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Reach out to friends, family and seek help from other sources such as books about depression to help you better understand what it is your going through. There may be information in there telling you the right thing to do to help you get out of that depressive state.

You should know you're not alone. A lot of people suffer from depression but that doesn't mean you should take yours lightly. If you feel up to it maybe tell your doctor and he could arrange for you to speak with somebody. I hope for the best.
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I internalize everything and share nothing about it. Unless I'm feeling particularly bitter, then I shove it into peoples' faces, watch them feel awkward and then feel better.
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Sometimes you have to kind of bullshit yourself into thinking positively. Like, set up a thought pattern. You also have to treat yourself better. This could be anything from exercising to self-educating to getting sufficient sleep to eating a proper nutritious meal to going out and being socially active. You have to find what works for you. It's harder said than done, but if you don't do it for yourself, then nobody else will and can.
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Alright, let's first clear some things up here. Some people in the thread has touched on this.

First of all you should figure out if you really are depressed, or rather, in what way. Let's not forget that depression is an illness, and feeling blue, even for months on end, does not necessarily equal having a depression disorder (But it also might! So don't take it lightly, it might also lead to an actual depression.).

Talk to your doctor about this. Find out what your problem really is, because if you do suffer from "real" depression then you might need professional help or guidance. This might or might not include things like therapy or medication.

If you're just feeling down in the dumps because your life is in a shitty place you should start feeling better by "simply" changing your situation. I put simply in quotation marks because, *gasp*, it might not be so simple. But no one can do it but you. So try to go out there, try to socialize and try to get a new job, if that's what brings you down. I won't, nor could I really, tell you how to do these things, because I really don't know.
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Personally I would exercise, doing something that refreshers yourself mentally and is good for the body always helps.
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The first thing is never give up. =)

Here's my hopefully short recommendation and just a lil bit of history.

I was "diagnosed" as depressed about 6 years ago. That happened only after picking up the phone late one night instead of a gun. The medication helped a lot, but what allowed me to get off it was working toward identifying my sources of depression and how to deal with them while being assisted by the medication. Once I did that I ditched the meds and I'm living happy and joyful.... though sometimes I have relapses and the anti-porn crowd causes me no end of guilt and anxiety. So it goes.

What's going to help you? Introspection, meditation, learning, professional therapy, and drugs. Do you get enough exercise? Should you read more? Are you advancing your career? The medication is a crutch, an exceptionally helpful one, but ultimately your life is about you.

I always like to say there's a shit ton in life you cannot control, so the few things that you do actually have control over - you damn well better take charge!

I went to graduate school and worked my ass off to get a career that I mostly enjoy. I spent a summer reading Buddhist texts and meditating on death, materialism, identity, and it helped me a lot. Maybe Catholicism or existentialism is for you - you'll never know what speaks to you until you've explored and considered. I also eat healthier, exercise, and watch a lot of hentai in-between video games lol.

It's not easy and whatever you do it's unlikely you'll never be depressed again. But it's not like everyone else is super ultra happy all the time unless they're insane. Understand your issues, learn what works best to counter them, and don't expect a quick fix (acceptance and realistic expectations should alleviate a lot of stress!).

Msg me if you want to chat ever and good luck! ;)
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I wish I had a way to deal with feeling depressed.

I used to be clinically depressed. My brain's chemistry was just plain messed up. Everything was a haze of unhappiness for years before I finally got proper treatment. After that, boom, it was like a light switch got flipped.

The problem is that since then many things have gone very wrong in my world. I'm now very honestly and appropriately depressed about multiple things in my life, some of which are beyond my control, and others are allegedly something I can do something about but they seem insurmountable.

It's like, if I want to live anything even approaching a happy life, I have to accept that at some point it will all come crashing down or I can choose to be miserable for decades and maybe, around my 50s or 60s, get to enjoy a brief time of happiness before I die. My student loan debt is enormous and my work has, so far, not been panning out like I'd expected it to. Maybe it's just a matter of time but it feels like my life is already over.

I'm lonely because I'm single and despite being older I have zilch experience. My early years were marred by crippling social phobia and clinical depression! Not exactly great for forming lasting relationships. I live in a small town that everyone else seems to want to leave too. I don't even know where I'd start to try and find someone. At the same time, I lack faith in other people, so even if I found someone willing to date a guy like me, I'd probably just walk away because I couldn't trust the bond.

So basically my life feels completely devoid of any hope or meaning but I'm still here and wondering why. Not because my brain chemistry is messed up but because I really just don't know what I'm doing and it scares the shit out of me. If I had even the slightest belief that things would get better, I know I could get out of this funk, but I truly believe that the happiest days of my life are long gone and that I'll live only to know more suffering. The universe has, so far, enjoyed proving me right by hitting me in the head every time I dared to think things were getting better.

If anyone figures out how to deal with the depression, tell me. Some days, I feel almost normal but most I just feel lost, lonely, afraid, and sad.
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Misaki_Chi Fakku Nurse
Spoiler:
JohnSmith-909-2 wrote...
I wish I had a way to deal with feeling depressed.

I used to be clinically depressed. My brain's chemistry was just plain messed up. Everything was a haze of unhappiness for years before I finally got proper treatment. After that, boom, it was like a light switch got flipped.

The problem is that since then many things have gone very wrong in my world. I'm now very honestly and appropriately depressed about multiple things in my life, some of which are beyond my control, and others are allegedly something I can do something about but they seem insurmountable.

It's like, if I want to live anything even approaching a happy life, I have to accept that at some point it will all come crashing down or I can choose to be miserable for decades and maybe, around my 50s or 60s, get to enjoy a brief time of happiness before I die. My student loan debt is enormous and my work has, so far, not been panning out like I'd expected it to. Maybe it's just a matter of time but it feels like my life is already over.

I'm lonely because I'm single and despite being older I have zilch experience. My early years were marred by crippling social phobia and clinical depression! Not exactly great for forming lasting relationships. I live in a small town that everyone else seems to want to leave too. I don't even know where I'd start to try and find someone. At the same time, I lack faith in other people, so even if I found someone willing to date a guy like me, I'd probably just walk away because I couldn't trust the bond.

So basically my life feels completely devoid of any hope or meaning but I'm still here and wondering why. Not because my brain chemistry is messed up but because I really just don't know what I'm doing and it scares the shit out of me. If I had even the slightest belief that things would get better, I know I could get out of this funk, but I truly believe that the happiest days of my life are long gone and that I'll live only to know more suffering. The universe has, so far, enjoyed proving me right by hitting me in the head every time I dared to think things were getting better.

If anyone figures out how to deal with the depression, tell me. Some days, I feel almost normal but most I just feel lost, lonely, afraid, and sad.


I don't deal with clinical depression so I can't say that I will ever fully understand what you go through, but when I did get severely depressed and to the point of suicidal, something clicked in me. I could either do a permanent game over or find some reason to exist.

I sort of go with the philosophy of "I exist, therefore I am" and for myself personally I look at this as I exist in this world for whatever reason and I am going to exist for no one else sake but my own. This can be selfish, good, bad, whatever, but because I am "me" I want to continue to be me and whatever that entails. Even if someone told me to go die, I would only allow myself to decide that not anyone else and because I have found a "will" to live, I continue to do so even if my life were to be utter hell or great. I strive for more and work hard everyday for that. It took a lot of hard work for me to get to the point I am at, a point I can say I am happy. I can't say it's all good or that everyday is rainbows, but I see that with suffering comes good things.

I would suggest to reflect on your life and decide is this really worth ending? Because to me it's far too easy to end your life. Game over's are so simple to accomplish that I'd be pissed if that is all my life surmounted to. I'd rather have fought as long and as hard as I could possibly go to see just where life takes me and when I am to meet my end then so be it. I could die tomorrow so to me all the worrying and wasted energy in thinking about death is pointless, because death is inevitable. I accepted death as part of life and I will live everyday as it is my last.

I know all of this is just ramblings of a random internet person on a porn site, but I guess what I am trying to get at is this; there are shit things in life we have to deal with. I have anxiety and some phobias that cripple me and at one point they nearly drove me off the edge. I went through a lot of hell and there are times when I still deal with suffering, but I have found that in the end I don't want to die. I want to live and live my life as hard as I can. This took hitting rock bottom for me and I know a great woman told me simply "all of the suffering you go through just proves how much you want to fight to live".

I hope you can find a way to deal with depression, because everyone has different ways of dealing with it, but start off first by accepting this fact; right now you are alive and you are you. You may not like or love yourself, but accept that you exist and find a reason to keep you going because "you exist, therefore you are "you"". There is no other you but yourself and only you can find why it is you are here. Not saying you need to search out the meanings of life, but again it's to simple to die so why not make life an adventure? Your current level may be though as shit, but if you keep working at it at some point you'll get to the next one and see what that holds.

Anyways, I'd look into talking to counselors/professionals as well as just opening up about these things to people or maybe even groups where people go to deal with their feelings (similar to AA). Do whatever you need to do to try and feel things whether they be good and bad and learn to live and love yourself. Also find a way to deal with your phobias. I know I got over my social anxiety one step at a time, use to go to the supermarket or to a bookstore just to get comfortable with people. Felt so silly, but over time it did work. It's possible, but it takes time. All I can say is don't make death the first option. Best wishes man and hang in there.
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Music helps a lot for me. Also just generally finding someone to talk to.
Anything that can fully distract my mind is generally what I use.
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I TRY IMAGINING someone else life,
wich is shit,
and that usually cheers me up,
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skullrider wrote...
I TRY IMAGINING someone else life,
wich is shit,
and that usually cheers me up,


This seems a joke but it was somehow effective. This may be not a good way but thinking about others shitty life make you realize that your life is not that shitty anyway.

And when I'm depress, I just also think, "I've already live a shitty life for more than 20 years, what's the harm of living another 20 more shitty years?"

Not so inspiring? Well, some people deal with depression through more depressing thoughts.

And one last serious advise, if you can't have purpose of life for your self, try to have a purpose of life for others, or vice versa. It will inspire you to live more. It may be cheesy but it was effective.
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