[Community Writing Project] 世界の闇 - Darkness of the World

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Reserving chapter 7 it's my lucky number ;p
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Chapter 3 - A Night to Remember:

Spoiler:
Cold winds bit viciously at the flesh of two travelers as they trekked across the grasslands. It was unusually cold for a night in late spring, like an average day during winter. Kanst seemed to be used to the cold, and had no problems shrugging it off, whilst Shuusa desperately tried not to let his pain be noticed, shaking violently but trudging on regardless.

"Here is the fork... we'll take the north-eastern road and--" Kanst began, but stopped talking when a group of armed people emerged from a forest road in the area.

Likewise, they also noticed Kanst, and if he wanted to avoid trouble, it was better to just talk his way out of this - they didn't seem like bandits, but one could never be too careful. Shuusa stepped in front of Kanst, to which Kanst pulled him back a bit, but Shuusa refused to step down. He had covered his face almost completely, only showing his eyes. Kanst soon noticed he was glaring at the young girl at the front of the group - this complicated matters.

"Kanst, I appreciate your help, and I'll catch up, but you don't want to get mixed up with her... better to leave now and let me handle this," Shuusa suggested, standing stiffly with his hairs on end. It was clear he was simply putting up a brave front, but Kanst didn't need to inquire further - if the boy were to die by their hands, he'd be useless later anyway.

Kanst nodded without any further words, and cast a spell, transforming into a flock of crows, and scattered in all directions. The young woman put her hand out, signaling the other members of the group to stay back. They all silently obeyed without even a gesture. Shuusa laughed maniacally, attempting to appear insane. He spoke with a sharp, low tone, trying to conceal his true voice.

"Nice puppets you're dragging along, Yuurei." Shuusa jeered, trying to provoke her. She seemed completely unfazed by this comment, returning a stare that seemed almost condescending.

"I don't know who you are, or how you know my name, but I suggest you surrender." She retorted, gesturing the others to exercise caution.

"Cut the crap. If it's a fight you want it's a fight you'll get." Shuusa threatened. The woman drew her blade, and Shuusa unsheathed his daggers. No more words needed to be exchanged.

Shuusa dashed in, with speed that the other members of Yuurei's group couldn't react to, and sliced the tendons of the tallest man, who wielded a spiked staff. The others immediately drew their swords, but it was too late.

Shuusa managed to catch one of them as they were drawing their blade and kick their sword, snapping it. It was apparently very brittle. Following up, he cut the second member's legs, and then he lunged at the third member, stabbing him in the foot, and rolling away before they could swing their sword at him...

Yuurei attacked Shuusa as he rose, nearly catching his throat with the tip of her blade, but Shuusa managed to jump back just in time. Yuurei stood still in her defensive stance, ready to receive another attack, keeping a close eye on her wounded comrades. Shuusa sheathed his blades and jumped back, scaling up a neaby tree and landing on its branches.

"I could have killed them all, but I crippled them instead... I'll let you ponder that for a while..." Shuusa sneered. He then jumped down from the branches and ran into the forest, under the cover of darkness to disappear.

"Should we follow him? Someone dangerous like that can't be left alone" one of Yuurei's comrade's asked.

"No, we don't know who he is, and you're all wounded... Let's go back to the city and get everyone fixed up." Yuurei replied. With that, She and the man with the wounded wrist tendons helped carry the other two and stumbled back from whence they came...
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I should note that I wrote this is the same writing style I'm using for Bandits and Brigands, sorry but can you maybe remove that rule and allow everyone to write in their own writing styles?

The diversity won't hurt, either...

Chapter IV: An empty shell

Spoiler:
"Back so soon?"

Kanst was standing in front of the castle ruins, wearing a smug grin. Shuusa frowned.

"They were too easy to deal with - hopefully she's stronger next time."

Kasnt shook his head.

"Don't get your hopes up. In order to become as fierce as you are, you had to abandon your humanity."

Shuusa nodded, and without speaking, they both entered the ruins. It was dark, and there were many piles of bones and dirt throughout - it seems a major battle took place here, long ago.

"People don't come here often. Most believe it's cursed..."

Shuusa drew his daggers.

"Hold on, I smell something off here."

There was a foul stench passing through, but it was one of death and decay. Someone else had the idea to search these ruins recently... but they didn't make it out alive.

"If we worry about every fool who fell for a trap, we'll never reach the goal. Let's continue."

Shuusa nodded, but dashed in front of Kanst, and sheathed only one of his daggers.

"I have good eyesight in the dark, and your light is dim. Let me lead."

Kasnt laughed. This kid had no fear - or maybe he did, but had no problems throwing his life away. Though, after what he did, he probably feels like he's dead anyway.

"Alright kid, lead on."

Shuusa stepped forward, treading lightly and silently. It was oddly warm in a stone fortress despite it being so cold outside - someone else was here.

"Kanst, can you use any kind of detection magic?"

Shuusa drew his other dagger and crouched, placing a finger over his mouth to signal silence. Kanst shook his head. There was a light around the corner, flickering occasionally - probably a torch that someone placed to find their way back.

Shuusa peeked around the corner, but it was no torch - an orb of light, floating in midair illuminated this hallway. The flickering was caused by sparks that occasionally surged around it. Whoever made this orb of light is nearby, in one of the rooms in this hall, most likely.

"Are you two lost, or are you searching for something?"

A voice echoed from behind them, and Kanst and Shuusa turned to face it, but no one was there. Kanst stood still, but Shuusa backed up a bit, only to bump into something. He immediately dived forward and rolled, rising into a combat stance.

"Don't mind me, I'm just looking for a book."

Hearing this, Kanst turned his attention to what appeared to be a young wizard, and grinned.

"What a coincidence... so are we."

The wizard's face darkened immediately. It was clear a confrontation was unavoidable now, so Shuusa dashed forward to attack the wizard, only to be trapped helplessly in a prison of flames. It was cold inside, but once Shuusa touched the walls, it burned his fingers.

"You two aren't going to take the book I'm looking for - I don't care what book you seek, but you'll have to wait your turn."

The wizard then walked away, their footsteps echoing throughout the hall. The prison of flames dissipated and allowed Shuusa to move again. Kanst was being held to the floor by chains of light and seemed weakened by them.

"Yeah, don't fight that wizard, kid. He's no joke, and could easily kill us both."

Shuusa nodded. There were people in the world that even a sorcerer able to drive towns to madness couldn't fight - the world must be truly a vast, limitless place. After waiting a while, it was clear the chains were not dissipating, and any struggle to remove them or free Kanst resulted in them constricting him tighter.

"Kid, try to be stealthy and find a book with no title, with a large draconic insignia on its cover... it's probably the book he's searching for too, why else would he be here? But don't fight him - if you think you've been detected, run immediately. A wizard of that level at such a young age could only mean one of two things - either he has spells to restore his appearance like I do, and is much older than meets the eye, or he is truly a genius... don't bet on the former, this spell is incredibly rare and hard to learn."

Shuusa sighed. That was quite a mouthful, even for the chatty person Kanst seemed to be. This just emphasized how much of a threat Kanst saw them as. He then starting moving through the halls, tring to track the wizard.

Eventually, he came to a room with two pillars and a pedestal. The wizard was already reading a book, probably from the pedestal.

"Don't run away."

The wizard turned around and waved his hand, after which the entrance the room was closed and a powerful magical seal placed over the door. Shuusa knew he was trapped, but knew that fighting would be pointless in this closed space, and sheathed his daggers.

"Good, you're learning. I've finished reading what I need from this book, is this the one you're looking for?"

The wizard held up the tome. It had an insignia in the form of a dragon, but there was also one problem - the title. Kanst said there was no title, and this book was labeled ' History of the Arcane'.

"No, it doesn't look like it."

The wizard smiled.

"Well, better luck next time. My true name is a secret, but you may call me Irica. I adopted this name in memory of a lost family member."

The wizard waved their hand, and the seal was removed. They snapped their fingers, and a burst of light dispelled some form of magic surrounding their body - their true appearance was that of a small child, a young girl, no more than 10-12 years old.

"Most people misjudge my powers from my appearance, but since you clearly acknowledged my powers, I'll let you in on a secret - I'm actually a sage from the capital. I'm also good friends with the Supreme General."

Shuusa nodded, deciding to remain silent and see how much the wizard reveals of themself. Since they're from the capital, if they knew the truth, they'd surely kill Shuusa on the spot.

"If you're ever in trouble, come see me in the capital - unless I'm working, you'll find me in this appearance - it's better to live true to oneself when they can, anyway."

Shuusa grinned a bit. This offer was almost too hilarious to be true - a random wizard who he tried to kill reveals her true form and offers to help him? Why would she do that? It had to be a trap, no doubt about it.

"Oh yeah, I released your friend's chains, but they didn't enter this room, even after I undid the seal. May want to rethink your partnership with them.

With that, the wizard began walking to leave, but stopped just behind Shuusa and learned over to whisper into his ear.

"I know your secret. Seek me out if you want the truth about your parents..."

Shuusa stiffened immediately to these words, and they seemed to turn his heart stone cold... the only people who could know are mind readers, and people who were involved - one of which don't even exist.

Shuusa's rage boiled within him, but he knew he had no chance, and let her leave without any further action. Kanst entered the room shortly after.

"This place is a wash, but it may make a suitable base of operations. This will be our home from now on.

Shuusa didn't move a muscle, standing still like a statue, and gave no response. How was that wizard involved? She revealed information on herself, but only because she knew his secret... Did she have a hand in the murder of his parents? Did she scheme to turn him into an enemy of his own flesh and blood, and the person he loved more than anything?

Kanst noticed his state of mind and decided not to ask any questions. He began using basic spells to manipulate the objects around the room, cleaning and organizing it. It would be a long night, but there was much work to do, so he started right now.

Meanwhile, at the capital...
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Complete Horizon wrote...
I should note that I wrote this is the same writing style I'm using for Bandits and Brigands, sorry but can you maybe remove that rule and allow everyone to write in their own writing styles?

The diversity won't hurt, either..,


Alright no problem - I just threw it out there to challenge people, but if you prefer your current writing style there's no reason to quit using it ^_^.

I'll make sure that rule is removed from the opening post, if there, and if not, I'll make a note telling people to write in the styles they prefer, but try to keep it third person at least... first person is too confusing when mixed with third person.

Also, this post will contain chapter 5, finished tonight, unless someone else posts before I finish editing it.
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正義 wrote...
Complete Horizon wrote...
I should note that I wrote this is the same writing style I'm using for Bandits and Brigands, sorry but can you maybe remove that rule and allow everyone to write in their own writing styles?

The diversity won't hurt, either..,


Alright no problem - I just threw it out there to challenge people, but if you prefer your current writing style there's no reason to quit using it ^_^.

I'll make sure that rule is removed from the opening post, if there, and if not, I'll make a note telling people to write in the styles they prefer, but try to keep it third person at least... first person is too confusing when mixed with third person.

Also, this post will contain chapter 5, finished tonight, unless someone else posts before I finish editing it.


Alright I'm looking forward to it... and thanks.
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Chapter Five - Decisiveness Leads to Trouble:

Spoiler:
The sounds of discussions filled the hallways, with walls made from bricks of crystalized salt. Small magic orbs lit the corridors, and a massive, blood-red crystal that gleamed with a dazzling brightness, illuminated the central courtyard. Surrounding the crystal were four long, curved tables, spaced with enough room to walk between each, and forming a circle around the crystal.

A young woman, clad in armor from the neck down, entered the room gracefully. Despite wearing a full suit of plate mail, her footsteps were silent and light. Her green eyes burned with a fierce determination, yet her long, blood-red hair remained still in her stride toward the crystal.

She then jumped from the ground and landed gracefully upon to crystal's tallest tip with one foot. Several others, including knights, veteran soldiers, and bureaucrats entered the room after her, the Knights standing guard, and the rest taking seats on the outer sides of the tables, all facing the woman atop the crystal.

"Good, everyone is here. With that, let the round table session begin." the young woman stated, her voice echoing throughout the courtyard.

A man from the table southeast of the crystal stood first. He was wearing gaudy clothing and seemed to be from a noble family.

"With all due respect, Atria, this is hardly the time for a roundtable. Many towns and villages have been lost already, should we not hold a war council?" he suggested, obviously trying to change the contents of the meeting. Another man stood in response, this one, a rugged war veteran with many scars.

"Please forgive this man, Supreme General. He will not speak to you in such a casual tone again, I assure you." the man explained, with a mix of fear and admiration in his eyes. Atria, the Supreme General, waved her hand in dismissal and switched the foot she was standing on the crystal's tip to her left foot.

"All topics will be covered, but let us do this in an orderly fashion. We will start with the most pressing issue - the disappearance of corpses from the destroyed towns and villages." Atria directed. Everyone fell silent. Though she brought it up, no one had been able to acquire information on the incidents so far. Some of them whispered to one another, but no real progress was being made in the discussion.

In another part of the capital, in a bustling city street, many people were going about their business as normal, and travelers were frequenting the shops. Yuurei managed to get her group to the field hospital in the capital, but as she was leaving to head to the markets, she noticed a long line of soldiers marching toward the castle.

They were worn-down, ragged, and most of them were wounded or injured. Their wounds were similar to those of her comrades... This didn't bode well... She followed them into the castle but was stopped at the gate by two knights.

"Halt! You're not a soldier of the empire, therefore, you must leave!" One of the knights shouted. She ignored the knight's instructions and charged past.

"Intruder! An intruder is entering the castle!" both knights shouted, chasing after her.

They were quite athletic, but she was faster and had no problem outrunning the knights. Soldiers and guards tried to stop her on the way, but she was faster than they were. She ended up in the courtyard, where the roundtable meeting was taking place, but everyone had their weapons drawn. The knights caught up and began to detain her.

"Wait! I know why all the soldiers might have returned injured!" Yuurei shouted at the top of her lungs.

At that moment, Atria jumped down from the crystal and was immediately in front of Yuurei.

"Tell me more," Atria demanded. Yuurei had a feeling that the man who attacked her and her comrades would be the culprit, but convincing the supreme general of that was a different story...



So, I'm not sure who's writing chapter 6 yet, chapter 7 is reserved, chapter 8 and 9 are also up for grabs still... if anyone wants 6, 8 or 9, please post in this thread to reserve it ^_^.

After all, I can't be writing every other chapter T_T...
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Can I reserve chapter 8?
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The Equalizer wrote...
Can I reserve chapter 8?
Sure thing.

Edit: Your reservation has been posted.

Also, still need someone for chapters 6 and 9 ^_^
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正義 wrote...
Well, I guess I'll let it slide, mostly because the Shadowmancer from before was such a mystery - I never figured out what you wanted him to be, anyway. Was that intentional or not?


Yup, that was intentional, I was working behind the scenes with Complete Horizon for a big reveal later, but it failed because you stopped the project... Also please let me reserve chapter 9, I'd much appreciate it.
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Yanker I read hentai for plot
I'll have a go at Chapter 6. Give me anywhere from a day to a week. I will mainly focus on my own character and leave how he fits with the general plot to everyone else.
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Yanker wrote...
I'll have a go at Chapter 6. Give me anywhere from a day to a week. I will mainly focus on my own character and leave how he fits with the general plot to everyone else.


Okay no problem, don't rush - the longer you can wait and take your time, the better. Though, I can hardly wait to see it ^_^!

@justgivemelove-9645460 I wrote you down for chapter 9. Also, that's funny - was that intended to surprise me or just be a surprise in general?
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正義 wrote...
Also, that's funny - was that intended to surprise me or just be a surprise in general?


It was intended as a general surprise, but a couple beyond just Complete Horizon and I knew about it.

Do you remember the character that Complete Horizon introduced in chapter 1 of Shadowblaze chronicles, Andrew the Shadowless?

We decided together that he would be the true form of the Shadowmancer - the Shadowmaster. He gave up his shadow in order to defeat the evil residing within his heart, and protect his sister from Vastenarok. This created Emil, the Shadowmancer. In the end, Andrew would have failed to stop his sister from being killed, and resorted to retrieving his shadow from the Shadowmancer, Emil, resulting in them disappearing and Andrew returning to his original state. However, with the darkness in his heart returned, Vastenarok would have then been able to manipulate Andrew to do his bidding.

So yeah, we were plotting your plot behind your back as a surprise to everyone, lol.
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Yanker I read hentai for plot
JustGiveMeLove wrote...
正義 wrote...
Also, that's funny - was that intended to surprise me or just be a surprise in general?


It was intended as a general surprise, but a couple beyond just Complete Horizon and I knew about it.

Do you remember the character that Complete Horizon introduced in chapter 1 of Shadowblaze chronicles, Andrew the Shadowless?

We decided together that he would be the true form of the Shadowmancer - the Shadowmaster. He gave up his shadow in order to defeat the evil residing within his heart, and protect his sister from Vastenarok. This created Emil, the Shadowmancer. In the end, Andrew would have failed to stop his sister from being killed, and resorted to retrieving his shadow from the Shadowmancer, Emil, resulting in them disappearing and Andrew returning to his original state. However, with the darkness in his heart returned, Vastenarok would have then been able to manipulate Andrew to do his bidding.

So yeah, we were plotting your plot behind your back as a surprise to everyone, lol.


You know, I think we could have easily continued that even if Masayoshi had to drop out for a bit.
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Yanker wrote...
You know, I think we could have easily continued that even if Masayoshi had to drop out for a bit.


Yeah, we could have, but... the threads got locked. You're invited to help plan the next surprise, though. Do you have skype?
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JustGiveMeLove wrote...
Yeah, we could have, but... the threads got locked. You're invited to help plan the next surprise, though. Do you have skype?


What, you're not inviting me to help plan the surprise?

...

I'm just kidding, I'm sure it wouldn't be a surprise if I got involved in it.
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Yanker wrote...
You know, I think we could have easily continued that even if Masayoshi had to drop out for a bit.


Yeah, you're right, you guys could have, but I was depressed at the time and had the threads locked because for some reason, I couldn't bear to see the project continue.

Not exactly sure what I was thinking back then.

Edit: Also, for some reason, the @ function isn't working correctly for me right now.

Sorry for the double post.
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Yanker I read hentai for plot
JustGiveMeLove wrote...
Yanker wrote...
You know, I think we could have easily continued that even if Masayoshi had to drop out for a bit.


Yeah, we could have, but... the threads got locked. You're invited to help plan the next surprise, though. Do you have skype?


Nah, I have a lot on my plate at the moment. It's taking all the free time I can just to find time to write in this (as well as my other projects), so I'll pass.

Anyway, here's Chapter 6 (really short, sorta waiting for more stuff to happen.)


Chapter 6 - Wandering Swordsman
Spoiler:



Logan’s Fall was a quiet, almost lethargic village that existed right on the edge of the Thorn’s Coalition. The small cottages were fashioned from planks of timber and thatched straw roofs rather than the majestic brick and marble of the larger cities, but they served their purpose. The villagers had no need for such luxuries; they were honest, hardworking, and most importantly, simple. The village had been named after its founder, Logan, a war veteran who had arrived home to a village on the brink of destruction. He’d single-handedly rebuilt it and fashioned order from chaos, and so the villagers had erected a massive statue of the man in the village square to honour him. Of course, he was long dead - but his tale would live on forever.


The cloaked man finished reading the plaque at the statue’s feet describing the village’s history and ran a tongue across his obsidian black lips. Logan sounded like a strong man - someone he would have wished to cross swords with.


He felt the stares of the villagers on his back, but paid them no heed. They were ingrained in their mundane routines; they would be curious about his presence but would not disturb him to maintain the peace. He felt no threat, after all. There were none here who would be able to stop him, should be decide to waste his time here.


The man stepped back, squinting through the morning sun. He hated the sun - his eyes and skin were especially sensitive to sunlight, and prolonged exposure could cause nausea, bluriness and skin-burn. If he were to pull back his hood, he had no doubt that even more questions would arise as to the nature of his black skin, pointed ears and red eyes. No - like these villagers, he preferred not to break the peace.


After all, he was just here for a challenge.


At that moment, he sensed a rustling of feet and a gathering of presence behind him. He turned around and came face to face with a stout man, possessing wide forearms and a grizzled visage. Behind him were a group of more villagers, unarmed but not exactly friendly either.


“You’re not from around here, are you?” the leader asked.


The man shook his head. “I’m merely a traveller passing through.”


The villager nodded. “Good. We have no quarrel with you staying here to replenish supplies or whatnot, but if it isn’t too much to ask, we’d like you to be on your way as soon as possible.”


The cloaked man nodded. “Understood. Might I ask why, though? I come from a different land entirely, and am unfamiliar with the current situation.”


“There’s been unrest around these parts lately. Word has it that a random street-girl was elected as the Supreme Leader of the Thorn’s Coalition, and supporters of the royal families aren’t pleased. Some of them have been performing acts of terrorism and such to vent their frustrations, and villages like ours get caught in the crossfire. But you’re not with them, right?”


The man shook his head in denial. “I am not.”


The villagers, their worries temporarily subsided, drifted apart and returned to their duties. Their leader remained a while longer, peering intently at the hooded stranger.


“You’re not human, either.”


The stranger’s ears twitched beneath his hood.


“I won’t enquire further. Just understand the situation, and do what you need to do, then leave as soon as possible. Please.”


The villager was about to turn around, when the cloaked man stopped him. “Wait. This Supreme Leader… does she lead the Thorn’s Coalition?”


“Yes… as her name would suggest…”


“Then, do tell me… would you say she is strong?”


The question hung in the air for quite a while. The stranger kept his eyes to the ground, his body concealed, his hand ready to move to the silver katana by his side at any moment.


“Yes,” the reply finally came. “If you asked me… you’d have to be the strongest in the land to become the Supreme Leader.”


***


The hooded person’s name was Elgaraf Galanodel, and he had travelled far and wide before finally arriving in this foreign land. He had doubts that those of his race, the dark elves, or the drow, existed in this place. He had seen only human settlements since he’d arrived, and they’d been in similar states of unrest. It seemed that this †˜Thorn’s Coalition’ business was all the talk of town.


Elgaraf smiled. He’d finally found it - someone who could possibly be strong enough to provide him a challenge. He cared not for wealth, power or women - all he wanted was to feel his blood boiling in his veins, the thrill of the fight, the feeling that the next strike he made with his katana would be his last. He lived for the moment.


He wanted to challenge the Supreme Leader.


Having found a new purpose in this otherwise boring land, he left Logan’s Fall the very next day, riding with the wind towards the heart of the Coalition.
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Yanker wrote...
JustGiveMeLove wrote...
Yanker wrote...
You know, I think we could have easily continued that even if Masayoshi had to drop out for a bit.


Yeah, we could have, but... the threads got locked. You're invited to help plan the next surprise, though. Do you have skype?


Nah, I have a lot on my plate at the moment. It's taking all the free time I can just to find time to write in this (as well as my other projects), so I'll pass.

Anyway, here's Chapter 6 (really short, sorta waiting for more stuff to happen.)


Chapter 6 - Wandering Swordsman
Spoiler:



Logan’s Fall was a quiet, almost lethargic village that existed right on the edge of the Thorn’s Coalition. The small cottages were fashioned from planks of timber and thatched straw roofs rather than the majestic brick and marble of the larger cities, but they served their purpose. The villagers had no need for such luxuries; they were honest, hardworking, and most importantly, simple. The village had been named after its founder, Logan, a war veteran who had arrived home to a village on the brink of destruction. He’d single-handedly rebuilt it and fashioned order from chaos, and so the villagers had erected a massive statue of the man in the village square to honour him. Of course, he was long dead - but his tale would live on forever.


The cloaked man finished reading the plaque at the statue’s feet describing the village’s history and ran a tongue across his obsidian black lips. Logan sounded like a strong man - someone he would have wished to cross swords with.


He felt the stares of the villagers on his back, but paid them no heed. They were ingrained in their mundane routines; they would be curious about his presence but would not disturb him to maintain the peace. He felt no threat, after all. There were none here who would be able to stop him, should be decide to waste his time here.


The man stepped back, squinting through the morning sun. He hated the sun - his eyes and skin were especially sensitive to sunlight, and prolonged exposure could cause nausea, bluriness and skin-burn. If he were to pull back his hood, he had no doubt that even more questions would arise as to the nature of his black skin, pointed ears and red eyes. No - like these villagers, he preferred not to break the peace.


After all, he was just here for a challenge.


At that moment, he sensed a rustling of feet and a gathering of presence behind him. He turned around and came face to face with a stout man, possessing wide forearms and a grizzled visage. Behind him were a group of more villagers, unarmed but not exactly friendly either.


“You’re not from around here, are you?” the leader asked.


The man shook his head. “I’m merely a traveller passing through.”


The villager nodded. “Good. We have no quarrel with you staying here to replenish supplies or whatnot, but if it isn’t too much to ask, we’d like you to be on your way as soon as possible.”


The cloaked man nodded. “Understood. Might I ask why, though? I come from a different land entirely, and am unfamiliar with the current situation.”


“There’s been unrest around these parts lately. Word has it that a random street-girl was elected as the Supreme Leader of the Thorn’s Coalition, and supporters of the royal families aren’t pleased. Some of them have been performing acts of terrorism and such to vent their frustrations, and villages like ours get caught in the crossfire. But you’re not with them, right?”


The man shook his head in denial. “I am not.”


The villagers, their worries temporarily subsided, drifted apart and returned to their duties. Their leader remained a while longer, peering intently at the hooded stranger.


“You’re not human, either.”


The stranger’s ears twitched beneath his hood.


“I won’t enquire further. Just understand the situation, and do what you need to do, then leave as soon as possible. Please.”


The villager was about to turn around, when the cloaked man stopped him. “Wait. This Supreme Leader… does she lead the Thorn’s Coalition?”


“Yes… as her name would suggest…”


“Then, do tell me… would you say she is strong?”


The question hung in the air for quite a while. The stranger kept his eyes to the ground, his body concealed, his hand ready to move to the silver katana by his side at any moment.


“Yes,” the reply finally came. “If you asked me… you’d have to be the strongest in the land to become the Supreme Leader.”


***


The hooded person’s name was Elgaraf Galanodel, and he had travelled far and wide before finally arriving in this foreign land. He had doubts that those of his race, the dark elves, or the drow, existed in this place. He had seen only human settlements since he’d arrived, and they’d been in similar states of unrest. It seemed that this †˜Thorn’s Coalition’ business was all the talk of town.


Elgaraf smiled. He’d finally found it - someone who could possibly be strong enough to provide him a challenge. He cared not for wealth, power or women - all he wanted was to feel his blood boiling in his veins, the thrill of the fight, the feeling that the next strike he made with his katana would be his last. He lived for the moment.


He wanted to challenge the Supreme Leader.


Having found a new purpose in this otherwise boring land, he left Logan’s Fall the very next day, riding with the wind towards the heart of the Coalition.


Wow, just wow. Even though it's short, it's very good - it introduces 'Elgaraf', sets up his motivations, and explains the current situation from the point of view of common folk, all in one neatly wrapped and promptly delivered package. It even hints that he's a drow, based on his physical appearance.

Also, I'm going to PM you, since what you just did actually makes it easier for me to pull off my plans later. I wasn't planning to reveal it to you until I had more, but you just made it possible - thank you.
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~ Chapter VII ~
A Presence of Power and Grace


Spoiler:
The smell of tension filled the air… humans couldn’t smell it, but most other races, and even animals, definitely could. As Elgaraf entered the capital, he noticed the glares of many around him, but he didn’t have time to worry about that; he had to meet the Supreme General and see how strong she was. As he followed the main street, he noticed many merchant stalls and an extremely tall, white wall directly ahead.

A human woman called out to him from a baker’s stall nearby and came up to him after waving. “Are you a traveler? I’ve never seen elves with black skin before,” she asked. She was very plain, with chestnut colored hair, and brown eyes. “Are you hungry, by chance?” she inquired.

Elgaraf nodded. He didn’t want any trouble on his way to find the general, so he’d let her carry on the conversation to see how things turned out. It was a large city with mixed races and elves all around, but since he hadn’t seen and drow so far it was better not to take any chances. The woman patted him on the shoulder and handed him a fresh loaf of bread.

The woman smiled. “The first one’s on the house! I hope you’ll buy bread from us again while you’re here.” She spoke enthusiastically.

Elgaraf nodded, and turned to leave, but decided that this woman was probably the person to ask for directions. “Sorry to bother you, miss. Do you know where the palace is? I need to meet the Supreme General.” he asked.

The woman smiled, as though she’d received a nice compliment. “The palace is right up the main road where these stalls are set up, follow it until you reach that huge wall over there. The general is pretty busy, though, not sure you can get in while we’re having problems…” the woman explained.

Elgaraf would normally go straight to his destination, but he was slightly curious what was happening here. “So, what problems are there here?” he inquired.

The woman tilted her head a bit and seemed to be thinking. “Well…” she started, but then closed her mouth. “It’s probably better if you asked the general,” she stated.

Going by her worried expression and her change in demeanor, it appeared people weren’t allowed to talk about the capital’s problems. Elgaraf left, heading toward the wall. Other merchants glared his way and some people waved, but none paid him too much heed - they were all busy trying to flag down more potential customers on this busy street.

There were four guards on each end of the gate, and they seemed to be guarding windows, where another guard was looking out from the other side. Security looked pretty tight right now, and there were dozens of guards patrolling along the top of the wall. He could probably force his way in, but that would bring unnecessary trouble. It was probably better to take the less-direct approach and simply talk with the guards a bit.

Elgaraf approached the guards. He knew approaching a guard while hooded wasn’t a good idea, and he wouldn’t be able to hide that he wasn’t human for long in the palace anyway so he stopped walking when he was about five yards away and removed his hood. One guard from the left walked up to him but stopped his approach when he was about two yards away. “That’s rare, a black-skinned elf. What’s your business?” the guard questioned with a stern tone.

Elgaraf nodded. “I’m a traveler. I heard from the townspeople the general is busy, but is there any way I can meet her? It’s urgent.” he requested, darkening his expression.

The guard put signaled Elgaraf to wait and then went to speak with the other guards. The guard behind the window stepped back and signaled something to someone above. Afterward, the guards returned to their posts. The guards on the wall stopped patrolling and drew their bows, aimed at Elgaraf.

The guard from before returned. “If you wish to meet the general, you’ll have to be escorted.” the guard explained. Elgaraf nodded in affirmation.

Apparently the situation in the capital was worse than Elgaraf had thought. Guards were paranoid, but for some reason they still allowed palace visitors - either the general was strong enough that assassins were no threat or all that security is just for show. He was betting on the former.

Ten knights clad in full plate mail approached, each wielding longswords and tower shields with the same emblem - thorns wrapped around a tower. Flags had the same symbol, suggesting this was the emblem of the Thorns’ Coalition.

They surrounded Elgaraf in a defensive formation - as if they were protecting him and at the same time ready to kill him at any point. Elgaraf smiled. If the knights were this well-prepared, the general was probably some kind of monster.

The two knights in the front turned to Elgaraf and requested his weapon. Knowing that refusal would be met with force, Elgaraf decided it was smarter to play along and hand over his katana. He had a short sword hidden in his cloak if he really needed it, though.

After going through two more sets of walls, they entered the main keep. The entire palace was very new-looking and spacious with white marble walls and red carpets lining the halls. It was also very bright, as some kind of translucent panels lay above instead of a ceiling. He’d never seen panels like those before.

Finally, they arrived at a set of iron double-doors. They were also disproportionately tall, like everything around the palace. The two knights in the front walked up and took a bag from each of their sides. The formation changed to a diamond-like shape, and the guards all turned to face Elgaraf at that time. It seemed like they weren’t taking any chances.

The two knights each took a glowing, bright red orb from their bags. They approached pedestals on the opposite sides of the doors and placed the orbs atop them. The orbs sunk into the pedestals… apparently some kind of spell was being used as the door mechanism.

The doors creaked, then lifted from the ground slightly, and began opening to the sides, disappearing into the walls... it was a door mechanism that Elgaraf had never seen before. The guards returned to their original formation and marched into what appeared to be a large courtyard, with Elgaraf in tow.

The first thing that stood out to Elgaraf was the giant, blood-red crystal. Was it actually a very important object?

“Tell me more…” the woman commanded. There were several people sitting at tables surrounding the large crystal... some seemed like noblemen, others were certainly veteran soldiers. Elgaraf silently observed the scene, and the knights surrounding him nodded to one another and tapped their fingers on their left gauntlets, in what seemed like a sort of military code language.

Two knights had restrained another visitor, and a young, beautiful woman stood before her, wearing full plate mail also, minus the helmet. She didn’t even glance in the direction of Elgaraf, or any of the knights that just entered, fully unconcerned with them. The visitor restrained by the knights was a girl, younger than the woman in armor, probably a young adolescent.

The restrained girl nodded at the woman but had a desperate expression. “My name is Yuurei, I originally come from the Town of Arden.” Yuurei started. She turned back to see who had entered, then returned her gaze to the armored woman.

"I am known as Atria, Supreme General of the Thorns' Coalition. Explain your situation thoroughly." the armoured woman replied.

Yuurei nodded then began to speak once more. “Recently I was on my way to investigate what happened after I heard everyone died, but was confronted by two cloaked people on the way,” she explained.

Atria raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with our soldiers?" she questioned.

“One fought my group to give his company time to escape, and severely wounded my friends," Yuurei claimed.

"And?" Atria inquired, seemingly growing tired of these pauses.

"The wounds your returning soldiers had matched the kind of wounds that my group received - various cuts, probably made by daggers,” Yuurei explained.

Atria nodded in affirmation.

“Release her, what she said is indeed important.” she declared.

The knights released Yuurei and stepped back. At this point, the veterans at the table stood, noticing the knights at the entrance. Atria approached the knights surrounding Elgaraf.

The knights knelt on one knee as the general approached, but Elgaraf did not. Atria’s expression didn’t change, contrary to expectations. Usually, those with authority are insulted by this.

Atria was handed Elgaraf’s katana by one of the knights, but instead of holding on to it, she tossed it back to Elgaraf.

“This drow bears no killing intent. At ease.” Atria directed.

The knights then stood to bow and leave the room, including the ones who previously restrained Yuurei. Atria turned to face Yuurei.

“Thank you for the valuable information. You are free to leave.” Atria stated.

Yuurei let out a sigh of relief. As she left she smiled at Elgaraf - this struck him as odd, but he paid it little mind. The general was before him and he wanted to issue his challenge.

“My name is Elgaraf Galanodel. I’m a traveler. I’m looking for a way to challenge myself. I challenge you to a duel.” he declared.

Atria’s expression wasn’t one of surprise or shock - but one of satisfaction as if her expectations had been met.

She nodded and drew her sword, but promptly stuck it into the ground.

“Of course. I accept all challenges issued - come at me whenever you’re ready,” she replied.

Elgaraf drew his katana and then darted behind Atria. But before he noticed, she vanished. A hand touched Elgaraf’s shoulder. She was much faster than he was, even wearing a full suit of plate mail - how was that possible?

“You’re spirited, but you’ll need to become much stronger before you can challenge me again.” Atria declared. He turned to face her, but she was gone. He turned around again to finally face her, but she was already sheathing her sword.

Elgaraf had met many strong foes, but none has been able to move fast enough to escape his sight - she wore heavy armor yet moved so nimbly that he couldn’t even react to her movements. If there were people this strong around then this country might be more interesting than he thought…

Elgaraf sheathed his katana and bowed with respect, but did not lower his head and continued to face her. She was incredibly strong - one truly worthy of his respect.

“Thank you for this opportunity,” Elgaraf spoke with gratitude.

Atria smiled. “Anytime,” she replied.

Elgaraf nodded and took his leave. Atria returned to the meeting with her advisors. Two knights removed the orbs as Elgaraf passed, causing the large iron doors to appear again from the walls, and seal the courtyard.

The knights didn’t bother escorting him but still kept their eyes on him. As Elgaraf passed the walls and the guards let him through, Yuurei stood before him. It seemed she wanted to speak to him about something...


So apparently we're supposed to wait a while to do any new chapters until Masayoshi returns.

This is the final revision of chapter 7 I'm doing. Hopefully, it's good enough for now.
1
Spikedpikes wrote...
~ Chapter VII ~
A Presence of Power and Grace


Spoiler:
The smell of tension filled the air… humans couldn’t smell it, but most other races, and even animals, definitely could. As Elgaraf entered the capital, he noticed the glares of many around him, but he didn’t have time to worry about that; he had to meet the Supreme General and see how strong she was. As he followed the main street, he noticed many merchant stalls and an extremely tall, white wall directly ahead.

A human woman called out to him from a baker’s stall nearby and came up to him after waving. “Are you a traveler? I’ve never seen elves with black skin before,” she asked. She was very plain, with chestnut colored hair, and brown eyes. “Are you hungry, by chance?” she inquired.

Elgaraf nodded. He didn’t want any trouble on his way to find the general, so he’d let her carry on the conversation to see how things turned out. It was a large city with mixed races and elves all around, but since he hadn’t seen and drow so far it was better not to take any chances. The woman patted him on the shoulder and handed him a fresh loaf of bread.

The woman smiled. “The first one’s on the house! I hope you’ll buy bread from us again while you’re here.” She spoke enthusiastically.

Elgaraf nodded, and turned to leave, but decided that this woman was probably the person to ask for directions. “Sorry to bother you, miss. Do you know where the palace is? I need to meet the Supreme General.” he asked.

The woman smiled, as though she’d received a nice compliment. “The palace is right up the main road where these stalls are set up, follow it until you reach that huge wall over there. The general is pretty busy, though, not sure you can get in while we’re having problems…” the woman explained.

Elgaraf would normally go straight to his destination, but he was slightly curious what was happening here. “So, what problems are there here?” he inquired.

The woman tilted her head a bit and seemed to be thinking. “Well…” she started, but then closed her mouth. “It’s probably better if you asked the general,” she stated.

Going by her worried expression and her change in demeanor, it appeared people weren’t allowed to talk about the capital’s problems. Elgaraf left, heading toward the wall. Other merchants glared his way and some people waved, but none paid him too much heed - they were all busy trying to flag down more potential customers on this busy street.

There were four guards on each end of the gate, and they seemed to be guarding windows, where another guard was looking out from the other side. Security looked pretty tight right now, and there were dozens of guards patrolling along the top of the wall. He could probably force his way in, but that would bring unnecessary trouble. It was probably better to take the less-direct approach and simply talk with the guards a bit.

Elgaraf approached the guards. He knew approaching a guard while hooded wasn’t a good idea, and he wouldn’t be able to hide that he wasn’t human for long in the palace anyway so he stopped walking when he was about five yards away and removed his hood. One guard from the left walked up to him but stopped his approach when he was about two yards away. “That’s rare, a black-skinned elf. What’s your business?” the guard questioned with a stern tone.

Elgaraf nodded. “I’m a traveler. I heard from the townspeople the general is busy, but is there any way I can meet her? It’s urgent.” he requested, darkening his expression.

The guard put signaled Elgaraf to wait and then went to speak with the other guards. The guard behind the window stepped back and signaled something to someone above. Afterward, the guards returned to their posts. The guards on the wall stopped patrolling and drew their bows, aimed at Elgaraf.

The guard from before returned. “If you wish to meet the general, you’ll have to be escorted.” the guard explained. Elgaraf nodded in affirmation.

Apparently the situation in the capital was worse than Elgaraf had thought. Guards were paranoid, but for some reason they still allowed palace visitors - either the general was strong enough that assassins were no threat or all that security is just for show. He was betting on the former.

Ten knights clad in full plate mail approached, each wielding longswords and tower shields with the same emblem - thorns wrapped around a tower. Flags had the same symbol, suggesting this was the emblem of the Thorns’ Coalition.

They surrounded Elgaraf in a defensive formation - as if they were protecting him and at the same time ready to kill him at any point. Elgaraf smiled. If the knights were this well-prepared, the general was probably some kind of monster.

The two knights in the front turned to Elgaraf and requested his weapon. Knowing that refusal would be met with force, Elgaraf decided it was smarter to play along and hand over his katana. He had a short sword hidden in his cloak if he really needed it, though.

After going through two more sets of walls, they entered the main keep. The entire palace was very new-looking and spacious with white marble walls and red carpets lining the halls. It was also very bright, as some kind of translucent panels lay above instead of a ceiling. He’d never seen panels like those before.

Finally, they arrived at a set of iron double-doors. They were also disproportionately tall, like everything around the palace. The two knights in the front walked up and took a bag from each of their sides. The formation changed to a diamond-like shape, and the guards all turned to face Elgaraf at that time. It seemed like they weren’t taking any chances.

The two knights each took a glowing, bright red orb from their bags. They approached pedestals on the opposite sides of the doors and placed the orbs atop them. The orbs sunk into the pedestals… apparently some kind of spell was being used as the door mechanism.

The doors creaked, then lifted from the ground slightly, and began opening to the sides, disappearing into the walls... it was a door mechanism that Elgaraf had never seen before. The guards returned to their original formation and marched into what appeared to be a large courtyard, with Elgaraf in tow.

The first thing that stood out to Elgaraf was the giant, blood-red crystal. Was it actually a very important object?

“Tell me more…” the woman commanded. There were several people sitting at tables surrounding the large crystal... some seemed like noblemen, others were certainly veteran soldiers. Elgaraf silently observed the scene, and the knights surrounding him nodded to one another and tapped their fingers on their left gauntlets, in what seemed like a sort of military code language.

Two knights had restrained another visitor, and a young, beautiful woman stood before her, wearing full plate mail also, minus the helmet. She didn’t even glance in the direction of Elgaraf, or any of the knights that just entered, fully unconcerned with them. The visitor restrained by the knights was a girl, younger than the woman in armor, probably a young adolescent.

The restrained girl nodded at the woman but had a desperate expression. “My name is Yuurei, I originally come from the Town of Arden.” Yuurei started. She turned back to see who had entered, then returned her gaze to the armored woman.

"I am known as Atria, Supreme General of the Thorns' Coalition. Explain your situation thoroughly." the armoured woman replied.

Yuurei nodded then began to speak once more. “Recently I was on my way to investigate what happened after I heard everyone died, but was confronted by two cloaked people on the way,” she explained.

Atria raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with our soldiers?" she questioned.

“One fought my group to give his company time to escape, and severely wounded my friends," Yuurei claimed.

"And?" Atria inquired, seemingly growing tired of these pauses.

"The wounds your returning soldiers had matched the kind of wounds that my group received - various cuts, probably made by daggers,” Yuurei explained.

Atria nodded in affirmation.

“Release her, what she said is indeed important.” she declared.

The knights released Yuurei and stepped back. At this point, the veterans at the table stood, noticing the knights at the entrance. Atria approached the knights surrounding Elgaraf.

The knights knelt on one knee as the general approached, but Elgaraf did not. Atria’s expression didn’t change, contrary to expectations. Usually, those with authority are insulted by this.

Atria was handed Elgaraf’s katana by one of the knights, but instead of holding on to it, she tossed it back to Elgaraf.

“This drow bears no killing intent. At ease.” Atria directed.

The knights then stood to bow and leave the room, including the ones who previously restrained Yuurei. Atria turned to face Yuurei.

“Thank you for the valuable information. You are free to leave.” Atria stated.

Yuurei let out a sigh of relief. As she left she smiled at Elgaraf - this struck him as odd, but he paid it little mind. The general was before him and he wanted to issue his challenge.

“My name is Elgaraf Galanodel. I’m a traveler. I’m looking for a way to challenge myself. I challenge you to a duel.” he declared.

Atria’s expression wasn’t one of surprise or shock - but one of satisfaction as if her expectations had been met.

She nodded and drew her sword, but promptly stuck it into the ground.

“Of course. I accept all challenges issued - come at me whenever you’re ready,” she replied.

Elgaraf drew his katana and then darted behind Atria. But before he noticed, she vanished. A hand touched Elgaraf’s shoulder. She was much faster than he was, even wearing a full suit of plate mail - how was that possible?

“You’re spirited, but you’ll need to become much stronger before you can challenge me again.” Atria declared. He turned to face her, but she was gone. He turned around again to finally face her, but she was already sheathing her sword.

Elgaraf had met many strong foes, but none has been able to move fast enough to escape his sight - she wore heavy armor yet moved so nimbly that he couldn’t even react to her movements. If there were people this strong around then this country might be more interesting than he thought…

Elgaraf sheathed his katana and bowed with respect, but did not lower his head and continued to face her. She was incredibly strong - one truly worthy of his respect.

“Thank you for this opportunity,” Elgaraf spoke with gratitude.

Atria smiled. “Anytime,” she replied.

Elgaraf nodded and took his leave. Atria returned to the meeting with her advisors. Two knights removed the orbs as Elgaraf passed, causing the large iron doors to appear again from the walls, and seal the courtyard.

The knights didn’t bother escorting him but still kept their eyes on him. As Elgaraf passed the walls and the guards let him through, Yuurei stood before him. It seemed she wanted to speak to him about something...


So apparently we're supposed to wait a while to do any new chapters until Masayoshi returns.

This is the final revision of chapter 7 I'm doing. Hopefully, it's good enough for now.


So where do I go from here? Do I continue Elgaraf's story, or begin Yuurei's story?

I don't even know what's happening right now.
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