A Fear of Most Women

Everyone has something that's difficult to overcome. This is yours, and if you truly want to find love and have kids, you won't give up.

I think the best thing you can do is remind your self that your mom and sister and your mom and sister, and they hold no regard over how other people react to you.

Then simply do this: stop trying so hard. Don't try to force something that isn't there. If a relationship doesn't last long, so what? Not every one does. Don't think the next girl you go on a date with is going to be your future wife or that something is wrong with you if things don't work out. Just see where things go and things will naturally fall into place.

i'm quite sympathy on your past, i used to see a psychologist last time and after seeing so many time of psychologist, i think you will also realize that psychologist only can give their patient advice and the one who can solve your problem and step forward is you yourself.

ya, maybe that the accident about your mum and your sister injured you quite deep but it already past, right? Life still have to go on and this your own life too, you survive in this world for who? for yourself right? Who feel most when you get sad ? you yourself too. So dun feel scare of getting rejected, nobody hit the jackpot forever but failure is 1 of the step to achieve success. that is what i get after i try so many time to overcome my problem. So try to move on a new step, the step that not for anyone but for you yourself cause lose or fail is not horrible but the 1 who dun wan to improve is the most horrible cause they are gonna to stuck at the same problem forever.

Ide say I afraid of girls, but it's more I'm afraid of being rejected and looking like a fool.

I think I can relate to your situation, Longevity.

I have a difficult family history involving DV and shit like that, too (although it was never directed at me - my brothers were the victims, which hit me just as hard. Resulted in me not seeing two of my brothers for over 10 years) and I have a fear of love and intimacy as well - the fact that I was rejected by women all my life didn't help me either. I tried despite my fears, but it never worked - maybe because that was the reason behind it?

All I can say is that I wish you the best and hope you can someday overcome your hardships in this regard.

Being turned down hurts but in college for the major homecoming dance; I was turned down 34 times. I have average looks and I know it does not excite many women.

If you have been talking to women as a friend can you see any tale tell sign one maybe interested in you. DO NOT IGNORE THEM for you are snowballing more than your problem. TALK IS CHEAP BUT REAL COMMUNICATION WORKS THAT MEANS LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY TALK.

I do not date women at work. I go to the library, sports bars or bars that have dancing/music also festivals or other events with friends or alone.

I have dated women way younger (no one under 18) than me also several years older than me.

Now is there any 18 to 55 year old that are nubile hardbody females looking for a gigolo. LOL!!!!

That's really sad to hear... I hope things will get better over time, but past experiences like that are kind of hard to fix.

Good luck!

Have you ever told any of your girlfriends about this? If you tell them that you have a deep-seated fear of being abandoned/hurt, they may try to help you to overcome this problem. With situations like this, you can work by yourself all you like, but it may get you nowhere. It'd be like trying to get over a fear of spiders without seeing or being anywhere near a spider.

You say that your relationships never last more than two months; if you start a relationship and really like the girl, you should try talking to her about this problem. Not immediately, but once you feel that you are close to her and can possibly trust her. If she cares about you, she will try to understand what is going on and help you. Then, around the two-month mark, when the relationship starts to have problems, she'll know that you're afraid and will do all she can to make it work.

For example, I tend to push people away after a while, or just forget them. In my last relationship, I told the girl this before I started doing it, and told her that if I become distant or don't make contact at all for a few days, to talk to me and discuss the issue. So, she did, and the relationship lasted a lot longer than it would have if I had kept quiet.

Relationships aren't all holding hands and being happy together - it's acknowledging and accepting the problems of each other and coming to grips with them, together. You'll never be able to get over your fear of being hurt by women without opening up to a woman. It could just be a friendship and not a physical relationship, but the key is to learn, as best you can, that it is possible to trust a woman, that some women out there can be trusted. It's not going to be easy, of course, and it will no doubt take a long time, but it can be done.

Long, didnt knew, Im not a psychologist or anything so I dont know how to really help you safely, but I do hope you can get over it. All that I can think of is well just take things one step at a time and move forward when you feel you are really ready to take it up a notch. Dont let others stress you out into doing or going for what you think youre not ready yet or want to.

Hope you find someone who can be understanding of your situation and just you know, love you and willing to wait there with you til you really adjust to everything. Maybe you just need to feel some love from someone that you do really love and care for to break the chain for you.

The decisions we make about ourselves work to define the story we tell ourselves about ourselves. And thus, our story works to define who we believe we are... even if our facts are incorrect.

So you control the story of who you are. First order of business.. be in love with yourself.. the rest will happen either way.

Aw, dude, I'm sad that you're having this problem. I have a problem saying "I love you" in real life - and even in text - as well. If you're honest with your girlfriend, she'll understand and can help you through it.

I'm afraid of people in general and live the live of exile (pretty much)
even my job is completely solitary (I ain't not working lol)

So you ended all of your relationships, right? Did you end them just because you feared being intimate with them, or was there something else that made you do it?

I, too, have a fear of most women.

Fear of rejection is normal. Fear of love and intimacy can be pretty much cured by finding someone your really love. Someone who you would WANT to spend more than two months with. You cant expect this to come to you though. Work on trusting and loving, but not relying on just yet.

I understand how you feel. I feel completely uncomfortable in a relationship, my longest being 6 weeks. I hate Hate HATE all forms of love and intimacy. I even feel uncomfortable when my own parents hug me for too long, yet alone making out and cuddling and stuff with a romantic partner. I've never said "I love you" to a guy, but I think that's more of a pride issue for me. But I totally get the fear of love and intimacy. It's all just feels weird to me and I fear that I may spend my future alone. I can't even imagine getting intimate with a guy without mentally cringing and having the desire to break it off with him no matter how much I liked him before.