Am I a douche?

You said you wanted to chill; as long as chilling happened, it's fine. By your friend lunch or something if you've still got the bad taste in your mouth.

dunno, but all i can say is, better a douche than a dick or an ass (or both)

Bend them to your will. all people exist merely to serve you.

Nah..more of a....Opportunist!

Before realizing that you were going to tell a story, I had voted "yes".

Not only are you a douche, but you're also a loser. You'll never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever succeed in life. Ever.