Dating Guide for Dummies!!!

Seeing Fakku has quite a few users that are still single (ahem* including myself), I would like to make a topic for listing all the techniques and teachings that will be helpful when encountering a date. How to properly develop your relationship with another so to speak.

The situation can be either a formal one-on-one date or a casual group date or just potential friends hanging out together. How you should make the move, initiate the conversation or gain some crowd control effect.

Also, feel free to list any question to let other people help you answer it.

P.S. Lots of good response so far, but if possible when you share about your opinion, please also give 1 or 2 realistic technique or guide. For example, if you're guy/girl what you should be paying attention in certain situation.

It gets easier as you progress your search for the One.

Girls like confident men, you see something that needs to be done, just do it without problems or hesitation.

Clinging to a girl is a big no, girls don't want guys to seem obsessive.

Striking conversations right off the top of your head, so you don't seem like you are bored or just out of it.

Don't be a quiet boy, speak up when something is brought up and discuss whatever you both like talking about.

Short stories wouldn't be so bad, but don't overdo it, when it isn't about them they feel left out.

Don't be afraid to make physical contact, or get nervous when someone is near you.

When in a group don't be spitting game man, people can hear you, raising your voice and trying to be heard only makes you look like an idiot.

Making direct eye contact while talking and move in with little physical contact such as a shoulder bump(lightly might I add) usually after joking around or just plain out of fun.

I would post more but, am currently tired. Hope this helps some of the fellow fakkers here.

(Man, I just can't sleep and have too MUCH time tonight.)

Everything Aai said is pretty legit. Something especially caught my attention I guess is the light physical interaction.

I totally agree, when someone shows a bit more open to the physical contact part means that they are interested in you. In my case, it would be girls trying to give me that "light" elbow bump to the shoulder when she showed her interest in me, replying to whatever I said before. Or even that squeeze in between her armpit and breast to my arm (a bit daring move, yes) but this action is most likely meaning that this girl likes you.

Signals like this, I think most guys would really appreciate it a lot more if more girls are willing to show it. Either a shy girl or a shy boy are difficult for the other to approach.

In general, if one gives out more physical signals (especially girls to guys) the other can be the decider whether to accept this flirtation or not more easily. On the contrary, guys can't really give out too much physical signals, because it may interpret as annoy or impolite. Slight contact is ok for guys, such as an non-intention hand held of the girl's hand when going to places such as in the movie theater trying to find a sit when it's pitch dark inside ^^

Anyway, for guys, mostly should focus on verbal communication grabbing the girl's attention, and as for girls as long you're intentionally closer to him and does a little physical contact here and there, he should notice.

What do you guys think?

p.s. Here's a trick I learned long time ago. Don't be on time when going into the movie theater. Always try to go in a bit late when the trailer is already starting, that way you can hold her hand while trying to find the sit in the dark. It gives you an excuse for holding her hand because first of all you're in a hurry, second of all you want her to follow you and it's dark you don't want her to fall over something. The girl will interpret it that way most likely. Then as soon as you find the sit, let go of her hand. If she likes you, she will only love it more and wish you can hold her hand a bit longer. If she didn't like you before, at least now she will suspect that you like her and confirm that you're at least a confident guy. And the key is don't think, just do it. The worst case is she'll throw back her hand and you feel offended and awkward. What do you do? You give her a cheap apology and a innocent smile.

All those points sound great, but...
I've not seen or heard of any them being used irl.
It really does depend on the girl you're after doesn't it?
Using around where I live as an example, a lot of those actions wouldn't really work. A lot of girls here are the loud, aggressive, drunk partying type. Who only go for guys with abs/muscles and would say how bad at sex you are.
Around here, just trying to find a girl who's more toned down and a bit more easy going is a challenge in itself before you can think about dating advice.

Ah~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA X8

That was one reason (no racial offense) I quickly found out that in high school that most of the HOTTEST, or HOTTER girls are all sluts, or have dated many jocky boy friends, and party queens. And I develop a theory that (girl+ cosmetic)xPARTY = Hot = probably already have a boyfriend. Never failed me so far. Trend is changing a bit when going into college, but the same principle still applies (girl + cosmetic) = Hot = probably already have a boyfriend. I'm not a very positive thinker btw.

Yes, culture does play a role in terms of preferences from girls and guys. However, it's a good thing. That's why so many people in the US spend time to work out in the gym, for the better look (mostly guys). Cause girls generally do like muscles (just like how guys like boobs). Fair enough for me. Most Asian men might be more healthier due to their healthier diet, but they don't work out nearly as much as white guys do. So they look skinny. Asian girls tend to find muscle men really really attractive,even if their face actually just look ok, because they are RARE~

Dude don't go after them kind of girls if you don't want to.

I refuse to believe all girls are like that everywhere.(Although we do have some of those types of girls here as well)

If your preference is attractive girls, 70% of those attractive girls like to party and try an have a good time.

It isn't all about the looks, it's more of how you act and your attitude.

If you are a funny guy, certain girls will stick around you because of that, if you have high charisma and just like to make everything exciting, some girls like that too.

Socializing with different groups will make you understand even easier. Sort of experiment with other groups and some of the couples around them, watch how some of the guys talk to the girls, it's all different but it is still the same in a way.

Eh well in my opinion at least, believe what you will.

I don't go for those types of girls. That's why I've never tried to get a girlfriend.
That's why I've never made any female friends in general where I live. They're all annoying and crazily hyperactive.

So, where do you live?

Sometimes you just need experience, better than nothing at all.

Give some of them girls a chance.

So you really are sure that girls near you always act that way? Do you know any of them personally or you just making assumptions?

Well, the ones I've met at friends parties/get together's are normally like this.
The ones I see on the rare occasions I go out normally are the slutty looking ones wearing outfits that just scream "I want sex" if you know what I mean.
I hate the UK sometimes.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm rambling about being a failure here.

As cliched as it is, just be yourself. It's a cliche for a reason. And personally, I'm not afraid to be the nice guy because if they're finishing last, then I don't want to be the guy finishing first. If you get friend zoned, don't be afraid to try and break out of it. Sure it seems like a relationship ending sentence, but it doesn't have to be. Keep faith and don't give up. If you want it, you have to keep going for it. Otherwise, what's the point?

all that seems like a mountain to me...except clinging, I am naturally distant

This article makes a lot of good points:

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/nice-guys-finish-first-without-pickup-gimmickry/

Well, I'm having trouble actually meeting someone to develop a relationship with. Any tips or ideas?

ahhh :) reading this makes me feel better. im not the only one lol

I think you should read nekohimes link~ posting this pic cause I want to~XD

I will be watching this thread everyday ^_^....
As you can see my signature really explain what kind of person I am..
I hope someone can give a very very effective strategy..

Avoid the Chloroform joke, really bad joke especially to a woman.

Find the boundary between your happiness and their. How far will you go to make them happy?

Simple and plain act with a clear intention work better than an eloborate 20+ steps plans.

I know its random, but just wanted to post this:D

I'll list what I like on first dates. I'm not going to assume that all girls are like me, but the more you hear about what different girls like ( which I'm sure other gals will post on here ) the better idea you have about whats running through our heads on the first date:

1.) I like when you smile. Lots. Even sheepish ones. I know this one seems obvious, but you'll be surprised at how many men forget to smile because of how nervous they are.

2.)Nervousness brings me to the next thing. A lot of guys tend to have ALOT of mental battles inside their head during a first date. "Should I hold her hand ?" "Should I not ?" " Do I tell her how beautiful she looks ? " etc. I dont blame them, because I do it too. BUT. Because of this, they'll stutter, or mind blank, or get even MORE nervous trying to be on a date while picking their way through a multiple choice maze.

Do what comes naturally to YOU ! I don't think first dates should be elevated to such a form of courtship that you two forget to learn about each other as people. Be honest, if you screw up or stutter - tell her that you're nervous, talk about the things that interest you and see her reactions to them, crack jokes if they run through your mind, etc. You wont properly get your true personality across if you're brooding about whether or not to hold her hand the whole day.

Trust me, holding a conversation is a lot sexier than holding my hand.

3.)Don't lay it on too thick, especially for a first date. And especially shallow compliments. I get it - you're really interested in her and you wanna make sure she knows that you like her. The accolades on how beautiful her hair is, or her smile and her skin, etc etc. really doesn't feel right ( for me) this early. Don't veer every conversation topic to how amazing/wonderful she is and looks.

Little is more here. Tell a girl how beautiful she looks and she'll carry that with her the entire date. Sometimes (for me), all you need is to establish your attraction to her at the beginning of the date and the end of the date ( so she knows you're still interested ) And try to comment on her personality and intellect too, in a way that doesn't always allude to getting laid. I.E. " I think what you said is interesting and is definitely food for thought...and the way I see things is ( etc etc insert your own thoughts )"

Don't get me wrong. Flirting is great. But it's just my opinion that there's just too much flirting on most first dates, taking it from the realm of harmless little compliments to full blown desperate sexual innuendo bonanza.

I'd think of more but I think I made this post too long. Opps...

On a last note for those super nervous about their first date, just remember: She's on a date too :)