Derp

What have been some of your less-than-brilliant moments?



-Spent about fifteen minutes frantically looking for my glasses, only to find tha I was wearing them.
-Was at a strip club. Got a private dance and- being rather excited- I slapped her ass with a little too much enthusiasm. She didn't stop or anything, but it did leave a mark and I don't think she's been very fond of my afterwards.
-When my dad first taught me to drive, I nearly backed into the museum window.
-When I was cooking something, I wasn't really paying attention to which ring on the stove I turned on. While waiting for the water to boil, I leaned back and rested my hand on the one that was on. Had a burn the shape of a spiral on my palm for weeks.
-Since it wasn't heavy, I moved a couch by myself. And got it stuck in a bend in the stairs. I spent about an hour pushing, going outside and in through the other entrance, up the stairs, across the building, down the steps, tugging, and then going around again before I finally got it.

I thought you weren't allowed to touch a stripper?

Depends on the joint. Is that the rule in the UK?

I think that's the rule, but some strippers let you get away with a little touching.

Well, not around here. The rules for this place were:

-Don't lick them/put your mouth on them
-Don't touch their groins.

A stripper put my hands on her boobs at a club i went to

Did you get to bring them home?

I have been to a couple of strip clubs and ya thats generally a good rule to follow. You don't touch the strippers, just sit back and let them touch you

Things are stricter in 'Murica than I thought.

Although I guess Canada's a little more chill in most aspects.

whats so bad about just letting them do everything? Im all for just sitting there and letting them take control

Yeah, but on that note- what's wrong with a two-way street?

All healthy relationships should have an amount of both give and take.

Healthy relationships? You do realize we are talking about strippers in a strip club. What relationship do you have with them?

I was kidding with that second bit.

Don't change your avatar.
Anyways.
-Left some water on the stove, then sat down to wait. (I was heating it for an instant soup) I was waiting for a good while, and got really bored. I said fuck it, and went out to smoke. When I got back, I realized I didn't even light the damned thing.
-Lit the wrong end of a cigarette. Enough said.
-When VHS was still relevant, I really wanted to watch a film, so I set the timer to record. Exact time and everything, only miss was the day. So I got a bunch of adverts and half of a crappy brazilian soap opera recorded. Never raged so hard ever since.

Ouch... fun times


I can't think of any at the moment. Will be back

Always the same.
Coming home, throwing my smartphone on my bed while walking by, doing anything, searching my fuckin smartphone in the whole house...

Dropped my note II whilst on the toilet. Smashed the fucking screen. A bit pissed about that.
about 15 minutes later, dropped a few boxes of sauce on the ground. Fun times.
Got irrationally angry over the whole situation... Probably cause I kept getting orders, and I just wanted to clean it up.

Ah well, get to sleep properly tonight, which is good

Went into the shower with my glasses on. Didn't realize until after I started to put shampoo on my hair that something was off.

Well I don't think this is a derp but I touched a electrical fence hoping for some superpower but that didn't happened and one of my balls almost got fried.

Worry not- that is very much indeed a derp, and exactly what this topic is looking for.