Discussion: Obstacles in a Relationship
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mdarkanima wrote...
I messed up my last relationship. I was not trusting enough because of my past and past bad experiences that kept me frightened. I wasn't open enough sexually because I was inexperienced and did not know how. I wasn't the kindest person and did not notice the other person was miserable until it was too late. I thought that if I did things a certain way it might fix things, but instead it made them worse. I wasn't aware of how I was coming across and if I could go back and change the way I was I would in a heartbeat. That person truly was my true love and to lose them was the worst feeling in the world. Not just losing them but losing their beautiful family whom I'd come to see as my own real family. I'm sorry to hear that, and it is good that you acknowledge what you did wrong. It is good to be introspective about these sorts of things, so that you can move on and improve in the future. However, it seems like you're still stuck heavily on this past relationship if you really think she was your "true love". It is just my opinion, but if it didn't work out then I highly doubt that statement is true. There are a lot of people in this world who we are capable of getting along with in a romantic relationship, but for one person to become your "true love" it takes time, effort, LOTS of communication, and a mutual feeling of love and respect for one another. It sounds like you didn't have many of these things. You can't change what you did in the past, but you can change how you approach things in the future. The first step is letting go.
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Hm. For me, I would say three things usually causing some sort of conflict within any relationship I have, are trust, jealousy, and insecurity. I tend to have trust issues with any person, and if I do start a relationship with someone, I can become very jealous, very quickly, which will usually lead to some sort of insecurity on my part.
Luckily, though through some very tough life lessons, I've learned to deal with all three of these in one way or another. They still like to rear their ugly head, but I've learned to cope with them, and let go of those things that might cause such emotions, and I think I've been able to grow little by little now that I can do so.
Oh, and I'm not exactly known to be Mr. Affectionate, but that's a whole other issue I'd rather not get into at the moment.
Luckily, though through some very tough life lessons, I've learned to deal with all three of these in one way or another. They still like to rear their ugly head, but I've learned to cope with them, and let go of those things that might cause such emotions, and I think I've been able to grow little by little now that I can do so.
Oh, and I'm not exactly known to be Mr. Affectionate, but that's a whole other issue I'd rather not get into at the moment.
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HappyDia01 wrote...
I'm sorry to hear that, and it is good that you acknowledge what you did wrong. It is good to be introspective about these sorts of things, so that you can move on and improve in the future. However, it seems like you're still stuck heavily on this past relationship if you really think she was your "true love". It is just my opinion, but if it didn't work out then I highly doubt that statement is true. There are a lot of people in this world who we are capable of getting along with in a romantic relationship, but for one person to become your "true love" it takes time, effort, LOTS of communication, and a mutual feeling of love and respect for one another. It sounds like you didn't have many of these things. You can't change what you did in the past, but you can change how you approach things in the future. The first step is letting go.
It's a recent past sort of situation. As far as true love, I define it by the feelings felt towards that person. Even now with the relationship not working out I still care deeply about that person and wish them the best. There are no hard feelings either way. Perhaps they weren't "the one" but they certainly were one of the people who has held my heart for the longest. It's hard to let go someone you still care about, you do it because it's what's best for them I suppose.