Help? ^_^

Ah yes an update would be nice.

It's not incomplete. I'm serious. think about it.

Assuming said person is comfortable with their orientation and this isn't a weird town where gays aren't allowed to be 'out in public', the person is likely to instantly think of the most natural reaction to said question. The question implying that the person is into women, but doesn't have one because they're unlucky in love. Since the person would of course, not be into women at all, the answer is a very obvious 'NO, nope.. that's certainly not it'.

It may however, be slightly incomplete in that I am also assuming that the person being asked said question immediately follows up the laugh with 'Er.. no, I'm actually gay/not into women/insert any other popular variation of this sentence'.

And if the person being asked for some reason does not actually follow up the laugh with an explanation, they can always be asked to. 'Why'd you laugh?'

Pretty simple, actually.

..However, if the person is gay but uncomfortable with it or with talking about it.. the person may not respond to the question at all, or with a vague-and-not-at-all-helpful-towards-any-situation-anywhere response of 'Yeah.. or.. something/'let's go with that'/'sure'... etc. In which case.. the OP wouldn't get a straight answer and the person being asked would get no chance at ultimate happiness. Which is sad.

To try and generalize every personality out there with two responses is a very elementary approach. A perfect example is how I react to the question. I would laugh because I have been single my whole life....so no.

It's still a casual, non-threatening opener that can lead to useful information.

That being said, a direct approach can still be non-threatening and would yield the answer to the ultimate question. We live in a time where it's considered to be a fairly inoffensive question and those who get offended are typically either homophobic, something which I absolutely cannot understand, or uncomfortable with the answer. Those aren't the only two reasons for getting offended, but generally it's not considered a big deal. Personal experience has shown me, by way of missing out on one of the only true loves I ever had, that taking no action is worse than being wrong. Avoid the pitfalls of dancing around the question, don't be too blunt, but ensure that you get the answer you need.

Also, on the Madonna thing earlier mentioned, never bought or listened to an album however I'm bisexual, though so it may disqualify me as I'm only half-gay as it were.

I'd personally gauge responses based on celebrity preferences.

If you ask him outright if he's gay or is into buttsecks with a guy and it turns out he's straight, then there's a chance he'll never want to speak to you again or be more distant towards you.

This is the point I was trying to make. Even the straight men out there who are perfectly comfortable with other people being gay, it's still considered an insult to ask a straight man if he's gay. Because the very first thing everyone thinks when they're asked if they're gay [and they're not], is 'Do I seem gay?!'.

No, 'Got a special lady/girl/girlfriend in your life?' is the safest bet. You can have a completely comfortable conversation if you lead with that. But, I'm sorry.. Flat out asking the average [straight] guy 'Are you into dudes/Are you gay/Are you straight?' will usually make them at least a little uncomfortable.

And if not uncomfortable, then a little confused.

You know, on second thought being that I'm trapped in a relationship which I describe as unhappy at best I'm probably not an authority on the subject so I'll concede to those who have had better results...

I indeed was joking, I honestly thought with the pure absurdity of the suggestions that it would have been obvious, guess I was wrong which is sad

I hope it goes well OP. Though personally I think the "Do you have a girlfriend" way is the best. If he says "no" without elaborating, you ask casually "Why not? You're a pretty cool guy!" or something similar. If he's gay, then he will surely explain it to you by then. Anyway good luck OP!

Sorry about not being able to update you guys soon, I sincerely apologize. I've been super busy, military keeps you busy (go figure) :p, and haven't actually had time to jump back on Fakku since the last time i was here.

I do have the update though. I did try the direct approach. I just basically straight up asked him what his sexual preference was. He is straight and he actually has a girlfriend. I didn't actually tell him i was bi myself, but thats another obstacle to leep through xD. I was actually wondering if you guys/girls had any tips for telling my family. I know for a fact that my sister would be perfectly fine with it, its my dad I'm more worried about. The way he is/acts I just don't see him becoming too accepting about the fact. Any tips would be great for this topic.

I just thought I should ask you all about this one, since I did get a lot of good tips on how to go about asking this guy stuff, and it would help me out a lot :)

Thank you all again and i can't wait to hear more tips :) <3

The best way to have a person accept a conclusion is to make them reach it on their own. That's a standing philosophy of mine, probably one which isn't unique to me alone. What I did is slipped in clues and hints to draw out evidence of the fact that I was, and still am, bisexual in casual conversation. I would mention casually how a guy looked and then later in the conversation discuss a girl. It's a tricky method, but it hasn't yielded negative results for me yet. After dropping hints mention how accepted it is in society and try to branch out the conversation to indirectly mention yourself. People often reject information they are given without first suspecting that out may be true or are given proof. It worked very well for me with the exception of my father, who, as a born again christian despises me anyway for my atheism. (it's no matter though, the guy didn't raise me and seldom saw me as a child.)

I see, I was thinking I should just get a boyfriend and tell my family that way, when they meet. But then I took into account the guy's feelings and that he would probably feel rejected/bad if he saw my dad upset and such. So i decided not too. I've never been in a relationship either -_- so it would take some work :p but I'm trying. I think i should slide in some tips to them one way or another, and see how it goes from there.

That's the spirit, and regardless of what happens you can at least take solice in the fact that you were honesty with them.