Help! Even I don't know what to do.

Weird situation, bare with me. I will refer to them by the aliases 'Christie' and 'Ann', out of respect. So Christie is my childhood friend, and we have dated once before. One day, Christie introduces me to Ann, her girlfriend. Ann and I talked for a while and ended up falling in love. She must be someone I met in another life, for I had never met before, but we got so close in a matter of hours. I do not only love Ann, I also love Christie. Christie is a very odd and artistic. Ann feels the same way I do, she loves me and Christie.

There is a catch. Christie doesn't know me and Ann both love her together, and are willing to "Marry" (in a Wiccan Handfasting ceremony, because we cannot legally marry plurally in our state) all-together. We want to love each other equally, but we don't know how to ask.

I had suggested to keep it to ourselves for a short while, and then confront her together saying "Me and Ann have fallen in love, too. We both love you, and we want us all to be together as one. I don't think any one of us should be left out, we should be together as a family."

over what amount of time did this happen? the only time frame you mention is "hours" between you and Ann.

No offense, but if you can't talk to the other person about it without worrying about their response then I doubt it's going to go the way you want it.

I'm not too worried about it, though at the same time, If she gets upset, I don't want Ann to get hurt.

And about the time frame involved, it took five hours between me and Ann. Do you think I should be adamant about using my own suggestion then?

Actually, it'd be a triangle marriage he wants, I believe. He'd be married to Christie and Ann, while at the same time, Christie and Ann would be married to each other. That's what I got out of it, at least.

OT: Only thing you can do for this is just to talk to Christie about it. Ease her into it, I guess?

yes. I'd keep it yourself. you know her 5 hours and are proposing the topic of marriage. A bit inane.

Well polyamory is a real thing and it does actually coincide with some aspects of our nature as a species, so if it works more power to you. I will say this though, other aspects of our nature make monogamy more functional in practice. Remember that we're a selfish species very prone to jealousy. Though at first it may work out, people aren't typically too keen on sharing. As time progresses I can see this ending badly. Inevitably, at least one party will want a monopoly on at least one facet of a relationship towards at least one other party involved. Time, effort, affection, etc will be in a higher demand than what can probably be given. My advice, try a noncommitted, long-termppolyamorous relationship before going all that far.

First of all im uber jealous of your luck whit women.
Second, hold your horses, you know person for 5h and want to marry, no, just no.

All parties should be informed of intentions, and you should live some time together to see if this works, lets say year or two, and if it dose.... well then im even more jealous.

We are psychic, we could feel the connection to each other without words. It's hard to explain if you cannot read energies.

I'm sorry, but if I read that correctly you claimed to be "psychic", which as far as I'm aware, is impossible given humanity's brain structure and known capabilities. Please tell me that you were joking

I want to say that I am a "Metaphysicist", because that sounds humorous, but I'm not. I've done a good amount of research, however.

Back on track, by a philosophical viewpoint, we can only understand experience pertaining to the physical world that we can pick up using our senses. We can't say for sure that we cannot alter our physical experience by altering the mind. An example of this is hypnotism. If an experienced hypnotist wanted to, he could make his patient believe that he cannot see, touch, or hear other people, so basically he thinks he is the only one on Earth.

I believe in psychic abilities, so I believe that it it'll work. It could just be a frame of mind that triggers a calculation of what will happen next, instead of a premonition. However, I cannot prove it, nor the inverse.


(Sorry, maybe I should not have taken it to a philosophical discussion.)

Have you looked into information theory or any of Heidegger's work on the false dichotomy of subject and object? If you have I needn't go further into my expository information (hence further derailing the topic at hand), but for those interested the idea goes something like this, information exists in the form of physical phenomena, be it radiation, quantum fields, subatomic particles, what have you, without a sentient consciousness to interpret it. Regardless of the state of observation which the information (experienced or not). We cannot change the information, it's just there. Consciousness interprets reality, but cannot change it. I could go into Heisenberg uncertainty, also Feynman's every possible path in conjunction with Schrodinger's collapsing reality, but that's not what you were talking about.

Here's some interesting science. It's under the spoiler and may explain some things.

Im not sure I can really help as I have no experience with a situation like this. I must have read that four times also and still saw as much light as a mole in the sun. I think I'm gonna have to agree with Art's conclusion on this OT though.

So you think you love both of them equally and "Ann" loves you both equally and you after such a short period of time want to marry both of them, but only two of you know about your assumed future. This seems a bit premature. I don't know you personally but (and I'm not trying to start a shit storm here) you come across as a naive air head. I don't know how old you are but this sounds very whimsical and surreal.

My advice should you wish to accept it: Chillax on the marriage and tri-wedding proposal promises, take your time to see if any of this works, and for god sakes talk to each other, communicate what the hell is going between you all.

I agree 100%. This is insane, and personally your "psychic" powers or not... it's just stupid to start SERIOUSLY thinking about marriage with someone you've only felt a connection with for a few hours. I mean... COME. ON. Go talk to these girls before you blow everything so out of proportion. I mean, even if the connection is genuine and real, and you're thinking - damn, maybe I'll marry this person one day - it doesn't make any sense for you to do it before you've developed a real foundation with that person. If it's meant to be, it'll be. There is absolutely no reason to rush it. Take your time. If you do something foolish like this and it ends up not lasting, then you'll be another reason why people don't take polyamorous couples or their ceremonies seriously at all.

Trios don't ever work out, period. Jealously will always pop up. Women are insecure by design and they will not share a man easily. Men who think more than one woman is a good plan never lived with sister, aunts, or seen best girlfriends in action. You want to see woman fight bitterly? Put a man in the middle of them. Do yourself an enormous favor, keep those two as pure friends, and get a straight girlfriend and stick with vanilla. That is hard enough to sustain! The path you are on will result in both women fighting over you and you might end up walking away with one of them afterwards. I suspect, if they are long old friends, they will fight bitterly over you and ultimately you will fuck up and give them something to unite them and direct their anger towards you. Then you're the odd man out. No girlfriends and no girl friends, either.

Actually, interestingly enough, a user on this site has two wives.

^ This.

This is retarded. You've known her a few hours so you know nothing about her and haven't properly established each other's roles in your lives. Right now you're still strangers no matter how well you believe you're getting on or how deeply in love you believe you are. Slow the fuck down.

If this carries on I give it a few months before the novelty of how "deeply in love" you both are wears off and you stop speaking to "Ann" altogether. "Christie" will likely find out about this at some point and when she realises that you were arranging a 3-way marriage with her girlfriend behind her back without her knowledge she will probably hate your guts.

My first question to that would be- have these women met eachother? Lol. They call it a 'third wheel' for a reason. It is awkward to maintain. A relationship of two is hard enough! Then throw women and their customarily difficult personalities together and men's natural reaction to women during arguments (duck and cover) which wrecks two person marriages, let alone a trio. Just seems like a recipe for disaster. We aren't even talking about children and society at large. There are a lot of hills to climb there and I have grave doubts about whether it would be all its cracked up to be in the end. But I'm a bachelor. I can't even manage to keep up a relationship with one man, let alone two.

Yes, actually. The second wife is also a non-blood distant cousin of the husband, and it was the first wife herself that egged them on in the end. Cue polygamy, and a threesome that lasted the entire following night and gave the poor bastard friction burn on his penis.

Also, I believe the correct term is "bachelorette". :]

From a straight Latina's standpoint, I don't get it. One or both of those girls has to be getting seriously short changed, my friend, or have a sadly lacking sex drive. I've yet to meet the man who can give me as much as I want, so another woman would only be in my way. Latina as are many of my friends. Our drives are too high to share peacefully. On the contrary, more than one man would suit well, but there is no scenario that I'd be ok with to actually do it. Doesn't penis burn happen to every guy the first time with a new lover?

Bachelorette, like stewardess or hostess, is just a lame feminization that only serves to trivialize a woman's position. Running around as a bachelorette just screams 'please marry me, I'm still single.' Being a bachelor is perceived as more a lifestyle choice than being a bachelorette (a sad type of game show contestant) and a lot more respectable. Anything with 'ette' on the end of it is usually the butt of a joke or a punch line. No thanks. I'll pass on that one.