I Need Help.

Well, Fakku! I've had a this problem recently that could change me forever.This Might take awhile so feel free to skip the intro and move on to the problem.

Here's how the story goes.
I have this friend that I've known since 2nd Grade ( I'll be a Senior in our high school this year )that I've been hopelessly in love since 6th Grade.That year It seemed as fate has brought us together ( same section, same classes and we were seated side by side the whole year ). 6th Grade proved to be a preview of what Heaven would be like for me. I was young and naive back then you I didn't tell here anything 'bout what I felt for her. Everyday I would do and try anything to Impress her. I even tried watching Anime she watched ( Thanks to her, I discovered Naruto, Chibi Vampire, Hentai and a lot more ) which means she started the Butterfly Effect that led me to Fakku!.The last day of Grade school, I asked her which high school she would pick. I chose the same one and promised myself that I would tell her before College.

The first 2 years of High school weren't so bad ( they weren't so good either ). First year, I didn't tell her yet cause she seemed too busy all the time. I didn't want to ruuin her studies. But I made my love for her a bit more obvious.Second Year,I Still didn't tell her anything ( I'm useless at these kind of things ). Again I made my feelings a bit more obvious, I gave her a CD full of the songs ( Emo. Don't ask why ) only I seemed to know.At the end of 2nd year and 1 month and a few weeks before 3rd year begins, I sent a text message to her If we could maybe go on a date sometime. she replied " Sorry Kuya, ( She calls me big brother for reasons I can't understand ) I'm gonna be busy this summer." I respected her reply and wasted that summer practicing my Warlock skills in DotA. Third Year, Still didn't tell her cause I thought she was still not ready for these dating things ( she was still 14 back then and she is still just 15 now ). But I made my love even more obvious, gave her another CD ( this time, alt rock love songs ) a T-shirt she thought was cute, and even a Teddy Bear that cost me 3 weeks allowance. I gave her these gifts as an excuse to talk to her for at least until my next class ( she seemed to be more quiet than usual, which got me worried.).

Here's where the problem starts.
Now, about a week ago, I was planning on making another CD ( this time J-pop ) to give to her when I decided to open my Facebook account. And there, the very first thing that caught my eye, on the News Feed, was a notification that She was in a relationship. At first I thought, it was just a Facebook notification, nothing to get all worried about.But that night, I kept tossing and turning, thinking about her in the arms of another guy.Soon, I fell asleep.

Yesterday, At about 2pm in the afternoon, She was online. I opened her chat box and asked her how she was and If she had read the new Naruto chapter. She replied " I don't read them anymore, I'm busy with my hubby, hehe ". Thinking she ment to type ' hobby ' instead of ' hubby ' ( which made no sense to me until her next reply ), I asked her " What ' hubby '?". She replied (her exact words ) " My Husband ". I replied, thnking she was pulling a fast one " LOL ". A few minutes later, she replied " Don't bother me anymore.".I was shook back a bit cause i know she would only use a period after her sentences only if she were serious. I replied, without thinking , " Well, He'd better take care of you then. Or Else ".She replies a few minutes later, " Don't make me puke." , which I didn't really mind cause I know she can be cruel at times. Then i realized that she can only be this cruel to people who she finds either annoying, stupid, worthless, a weight on her shoulders or any combination of said traits. She suddenly replies out of nowhere ," Well, He does take good care of me.".I hurriedly typed, " He Better. " and just when I finished typing, before I could press ' Enter ', She was offline. Her sudden reply appearing on the chat box, me typing " He Better " And a notification on the chat box saying she was offline took about under 3 seconds to happen.

My Question now is, What should I do? How should I react to this?

Simply put; You just lost the game. Move on, dude.

I've thought about that, But...I can't help but think the guy she is with is some Fraternity guy that might have plans for her. I can't move on unless I'm sure Her Future is gonna be a good and happy one.

It seems doubtful she wasn't aware of your interest in here. She probably just doesn't care. Now from the way you said things it sounds as if you two weren't hanging out a lot so if that's the case there's really no real way for us to know if she even likes you as a friend or was just merely tolerating your presence. If the connection between you two is so thin that she could be married or whatever and you didn't know it would seem you aren't an important part of her life and that a relationship or even real friendship would be difficult. I would suggest moving on and devoting the attention you would have given her to others who are more likely to actually treat you as someone important.

If you really can't resist the urge to make sure this guy is a good person then tell her that's what you want to do. If she shrugs you off or treats it with hostility then she's saying "don't bother me, I can make my own decision" and you should respect her choice. Also I warn you that even if she approves you judging the guy and faults you might find with him that you tell her might instead of earning you respect instead end up being treated with hostility. Many people really don't want to hear things that disagree with how they see them and being the case that you're a potential rival for her attentions won't be missed on her so everything you say will be judged as if you're possibly just saying it to win her over.

Remind me to plus rep you later. Give me a pm so I won't forget. You are right, I've thought of letting her go before cause even I have noticed my flaws. But then I thought that nobody was perfect. Maybe we could be. I've also meant to tell her this but I've been a bit scared of being judged by her.



I've thought about this one too, She used to care ( she wouldn't kiss me on my cheek for no particular reason one 6th Grade day if she didn't ) but now she seems to be avoiding me a bit ( I seem to have a reputation of being a pervert at school ) <-- which is probably why she avoids me ( I ain't no pervert, I just act like an Idiot most of the time cause it's my happy-go-lucky personality that seemed to have told her to be friends with me ). I've been trying my best to not look like a pervert but it doesn't seem to work.

Also
The Guy she dates might be one of my 6th Grade classmates/friends.

Do a barrel roll!

Wait. Husband? You guys are Seniors and she's married? Or does just like calling his boyfriend that?

Seriously, don't do stunts like this here.


She just calls him that, I hope.

She just calls him that, I hope.

And your worried that the dude his going out with is some punk in a fraternity? Good luck man.

That's really gonna hurt! I hope you're not in a trauma after that incident. I think you should forget about her. That would be the best for you. Move on..... There are still many girls out there.

I don't know dude....i guess you have 2 options.
1.You just stay friends or schoolmates.
2.Montage time!!!!
But really dude just use this as a learning experience and move on. Maybe there's something better waiting outside tomorrow. Just seize the day.

Thanks for all the kind words guys ( Who new Strangers could be this kind. ). I'm gonna try to talk to her when we apply for 4th year ( but my friends would probably drag me to the nearest internet cafe and drown my sorrows with alternative rock and Hon.). I should check her profile on Facebook to see if maybe she left clues about the mystery guy.



Friends with her would be a good option. at least I could still check-up on her every now and then to see how things are going between them.

You should learn from it. Also do re-read ramsus' post. Try to go for someone that returns your feelings next time. If they don't, tough luck, move on.

Also, she's 15 you say? She's a kid!! It's only natural that she doesn't value what you did for her. It's even more natural that she started to find you a creep seeing as your "offline" relationship is pretty bland (judging by your opening post). This may sound harsh as well, but the presents you gave her can be worth zero. Trust me, been there, done that.

Bottom line is, you have to get over her. A simple way to give the first step would be to stop visiting her facebook. Followed by everything else related to her. It may sound hard to do now, but you'll look back to it in the future and realize what a mistake it was.

Like I said last time, I ain't gonna move on until I'm sure she's gonna have a good and happy future with the guy. She maybe cruel at times, but she is still the girl That changed my life back then. Without her I probably would never had even know Fakku! existed, never would have known I could draw, Never would have watched Naruto or Chibi Vampire. I guess I'm also trying to pay her back for all the things she has done for me by at least introducing her to alt-rock ( I was surprised she likes it ).

My god, man, get a grip! You don't owe her anything. Anime and music are extremely trivial things that you could've found sooner or later.

And that attitude of trying to take care of her is exactly opposite of what you should do. You have to let it go.

You have to let go dude. I also went through that kind of situation. The only difference is that the guy she was dating was nice. It would be harder for your situation, BUT STILL you have to let go.

Like Alex~kun said, skip it. but if you can't get over it, don't be the rebound, let her get a second, then step up with the serious shit. timing is everything.