In love

I know the feeling, but the bro code doesn't let up on this.

two choice.

friend or her... which would you want more.

There is no easy answers, but you gotta live with the consequences of your actions.

if it any concession i married my ex's best friend, but that a different story from your's.

I know and follow the bro code but to be frank my friends a pussy he throws fits when she talks to other guys cause shes naive and doesnt realize when guys are laying game on her and know that she has a boyfriend so he leaves the room and wont talk to her and i end up laying it out for these guys so they stop over steping the line. And thats why he doesnt derserve her he wont fight for her and lets petty shit get in the way. and i know if i did end up with her as long as i did not do it while hes with her he would be fine with it.

This is a no win situation kid.

You can either sit by and watch the situation.

Or you can pull her away from your friend and destroy your friendship.

Oh, and you won't get her for yourself. And it's likely that even if you DO try to pull her away from your friend, she won't listen to you. Your friend will find out and your friendship will be destroyed AND he gets the girl.

And again, if you do manage to pull her away, all that trust will be blown away if you try to make a move on her. Which mean that you won't succeed because you can be guaranteed that she will be in another relationship before the time needed before you can pursue her passes.

So yeah, no win situation kid.

Knowing this, will you risk doing this because you know she should deserve more? If you are, then you either really do care about her, or just an idiot.

If you aren't, then you really don't care about her like you think you do.

Either way, it sounds like your friend is an idiot so you probably shouldn't be friends with him anyways.

Well my friend is a idiot and my feelings are not a secret they just dont know how deep they are. But despite knowing i have feeling for his girl he still unquestionable trusts me and if that aint a friend i don't know what is.

Well it seems his trust is misplaced if you are willing to ask us what you should do.

Im not trying to backstab him im just looking for another option because i wont do anything when there together but i cant take keep steping in to cover him and help them patch things up. I just cant take it.

This may not be so much of an option, but I propose you just wait and see where their relationship goes. Despite being unworthy for this girl, a friend who trusts you is still a friend. Doing anything might just ruin everything you made up to this point, your friendship, your feelings, all of that could just go down the drain and you may leave a lot of people regretting things (you, him, and possibly her in particular). Let me tell you, regret for anyone is something you don't want on your plate.

It'll probably be tough, but just see where this all goes, if their relationship goes down the drain, then there isn't much reason for you to pursue if your feelings still remain. Chances are, they might be over each other and it just might be okay, but that is never guaranteed. If nothing changes between them, well, it's probably better to go fishing again. You may not find a catch like the one you found anytime soon if you go this way but you'll most likely find one.

I'm someone who never likes to interfere too much in the affairs of others even if they are my best friend, that's why you should probably let nature play it's role and let it be the judge on whether or not this relationship should last.

Yea but every time i let nature take its course i end up loseing someone important to me because the went out 2 years ago broke up and i had not talken to her since. Until she came back around and i dont want something like that to happen again.

An event like this, while can be prevented, there is no guarantee you can stop it entirely. If they choose to speak to you again, that will be based on their choices and the reputation you have with them. I won't lie, I know exactly how it feels to just lose someone close to you. There was someone I considered important who disappeared and reappeared, even though it hurt each time that person left, that was their choice as it is your choice to either welcome them back or drive them away because of reasons that you can't forgive.

It ultimately comes down to the opposing party's decision on how they want to deal with problems in their lives, whether it'd be putting trust in the people who show they deserve it or cutting them off completely. I've been cut off from a fair amount of trust circles to tell that the problem may lie in me, but as I said, it is they who decide whether they want to give you a chance or not.

I know but i know theres a way to come out on top in this situation.

While this may be true, it is never known and often times would turn out real bad. I won't say to not search for that method, but as a believer of karma, tread carefully.

I beleave in karma as well and frnakly my lifes been so miserably i derserve a win. But i do welcome and appreciate the advice.

you talking like there's no other choice than her..
you should go out there and find a new people rather than stick up with your buddy.. it's better to lost a girl rather than lost a friend unless you don't value your friendship..

Here's what you do: stop being the one to clean up after their own messes.

Let your friend do the fixing if he's got the balls to do it himself. You don't have to intervene everytime something goes wrong with their relationship.

If they can't fix it themselves, then it's already beyond repair.

Whether or not you choose to stay loyal to your friend or go after the girl, it's still their problem if they don't choose to walk away from the relationship themselves.

Follow which your heart desires!! =3

Krimzon

You sound like an olden day protagonist trying to save a damsel from her wicked man.
Your friend sounds like an oversensitive douchebag.
Your friend's girl sounds like an innocent ditz.

No offence really, but like kalistean said nothing you do here will make her come to you. If you still insist on doing something though, then make up your mind right now and choose: friendship or love. There's no way for you to have both in this situation.

I have to wonder, if your friend is such a doushbag, why did you become friends with him in the first place? And moreover, if you were friends, did you ever see/hear about this girl BEFORE they became lovers? Did he ever talk about her?

I'd be inclined to believe you might be exaggerating facts to help justify your feelings for her, and your want to 'liberate' her from your best friend. Lord knows I've started hating people I used to like because a girl tainted my perspective on things... not intentionally, obviously, but when you really want something you'd be willing to lie to yourself. How do you KNOW she's not happy? Has she ever said so, or are you just guessing from what you can see? Is your buddies rants REALLY so bad? Or are you just making them bigger in your memory to help you cope?

I don't want to be demeaning, but Love is a strange and powerful thing, and It can really mess with you.

So, I'd suggest you take a step back and really re-examine the situation.

thanks

I had a situation like this not too long ago, I didn't know the boyfriend but she chose him in the end (she soon discovered that he cheated on her for months after he dumped her half a year later). They will always choose the boyfriend, 99.9999% of the time.

My advice is look the other way - run. Not worth the trouble. Should you get her to break up with her and go out with you, not only do you lose a friend but you will always have a shadow looming over. Oh, and chances are she'll talk about him a lot simply because that's what girls do, talk about the people they care about. Right now, it's a lose-lose situation.

Oh, and the Bro Code says a lot on this subject as well. Basically, the girl is off limits.

I'd say let it run its course. If she's still single later, go back for her?

But NEVER on your friend's time with her... not only do you lose a friend, you lose her respect and probably your chances to be with her.