Just once I want him to call me beautiful/gorgeous/sexy...
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Yet another post about me and my husband. Sorry... ^^;;; I don't really have much experience at all with relationship stuff, as he's the only person I've ever been with, so there may be a lot of posts that I make about my relationship with my husband. Well, anyways, my husband always calls me cute, and that's it. I know cute is a good thing to be and all, but sometimes it makes me feel so... childish, especially when he says anime girls and actresses are beautiful or sexy. I know I don't have an incredible body, and while I'm nowhere near as pretty as an actress, and while I know that it's pretty much impossible to be as flawless looking as an anime girl, I still kind of want to be called beautiful and sexy, too. I always try to take care of myself by having my nails done, taking care of my skin and my hair, dressing up nicely, keeping clean, exercising, and all of that, but I wonder if there's something more I should be doing. :/ Any ideas on what else I could possibly do to be called beautiful, gorgeous, or sexy? I'm lost~! TT_TT
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That will come in time. Some times people dislike calling real people beautiful and sexy. Just curious, what does he call you in bed? Because you'd expect he call ya sexy in bed. Anyways, when your husband calls you cute, its more of a loving thingy bleh bleh... hold on... yeah. Basically beautiful and sexy are more of the lustful adjectives... ya know?
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Sprite wrote...
That will come in time. Some times people dislike calling real people beautiful and sexy. Just curious, what does he call you in bed? Because you'd expect he call ya sexy in bed. Anyways, when your husband calls you cute, its more of a loving thingy bleh bleh... hold on... yeah. Basically beautiful and sexy are more of the lustful adjectives... ya know?He doesn't really call me anything in bed aside from my name. Lols. But I guess you're right, I hadn't really thought of it like that. I just always thought that at least the word beautiful is the term most guys used for the person they love.
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crazymissotaku wrote...
Sprite wrote...
That will come in time. Some times people dislike calling real people beautiful and sexy. Just curious, what does he call you in bed? Because you'd expect he call ya sexy in bed. Anyways, when your husband calls you cute, its more of a loving thingy bleh bleh... hold on... yeah. Basically beautiful and sexy are more of the lustful adjectives... ya know?He doesn't really call me anything in bed aside from my name. Lols. But I guess you're right, I hadn't really thought of it like that. I just always thought that at least the word beautiful is the term most guys used for the person they love.
I remember with my girlfriend, I use to be afraid of calling her beautiful or sexy because its embarrassing.
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I have never used words like that in any of my relationships, not because i dont like them, but because you shouldnt need reminding, the fact that your married should prove enough xD.
To be honest i feel your pain though xD thats all i ever get called 'Cute'... its Frickin annoying xD ive never had 'Handsome' 'Hot' or any other male compliments xD just always cute
I suppose if your that desperate though you can try and get him to say something by calling him one of the above xD
To be honest i feel your pain though xD thats all i ever get called 'Cute'... its Frickin annoying xD ive never had 'Handsome' 'Hot' or any other male compliments xD just always cute
I suppose if your that desperate though you can try and get him to say something by calling him one of the above xD
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He's probably just not to say that.
As others had said, he may just be embarrassed or just doesn't think its necessary because marriage is proof enough.
If its really bothering you that much, just talk to him, you two are married
As others had said, he may just be embarrassed or just doesn't think its necessary because marriage is proof enough.
If its really bothering you that much, just talk to him, you two are married
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Tsujoi
Social Media Manager
Surprise him in new lingerie in the bedroom. Ask him how it makes you look, if he says cute, just give up.
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Drag0nf0rce wrote...
I have never used words like that in any of my relationships, not because i dont like them, but because you shouldnt need reminding, the fact that your married should prove enough xD.To be honest i feel your pain though xD thats all i ever get called 'Cute'... its Frickin annoying xD ive never had 'Handsome' 'Hot' or any other male compliments xD just always cute
I suppose if your that desperate though you can try and get him to say something by calling him one of the above xD
Ahh, okay, that kind of makes sense. I'm honestly super affectionate with my husband, and I always call him handsome, sexy, etc... I know he already knows that I think that already, but I think it's a bit better to always let him know it. It's sort of like saying "I love you" in my mind. It's something that your spouse or significant other should already be aware of, but hearing it often or even once in awhile can make such a big difference, if that makes any sense.
Maeve wrote...
He's probably just not to say that.As others had said, he may just be embarrassed or just doesn't think its necessary because marriage is proof enough.
If its really bothering you that much, just talk to him, you two are married
I would talk to him about it, but I'm kind of worried how he may react if I did bring this up to him. He kind of gets sensitive about things like this, and would probably land up saying something along the lines of "Well, fine. If that's the case, I won't say anything anymore". It's happened before, and if possible, I'd like to avoid that...
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There's nothing else you should be doing. There's something wrong on his end of things if he's calling 2-d girls sexy and not you.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Well, you've talked to him about matters before, and you said they worked out fine. If you're that scared, no need.
Here's an idea: dress up in sexy lingerie (like Tsujoi mentioned) or try to cosplay up as a character he once called beautiful or sexy. :P
Here's an idea: dress up in sexy lingerie (like Tsujoi mentioned) or try to cosplay up as a character he once called beautiful or sexy. :P
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You can't expect him to give you all you need, if you never explicitly state what it is in the first place. You need to learn how to speak up. He can't read your mind! Instead of trying to rack your brain, coming up with a sneaky technique to get him to just come out and say what you want to hear... Just explain to him what you're feeling, and what you need. I know it's cliche, but it's just.. so much easier to say "I feel ___", "I need __". But once you've said your piece, let him say his. You should be turning to him on matters of your own relationship in the first place.
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I agree with Lollikittie. You can't always expect someone to read your mind. Often, it's up to us to state exactly what we want from someone else. I know a lot of guys who don't call real girls beautiful or sexy directly, because of the reasons stated above - it's awkward, etc. I mentioned to my boyfriend that sometimes I feel a little self-conscious about my body, etc, and now he doesn't hesitate to lavish me with compliments during sex... or just declares his love for me and counts the ways, haha! All because I just said: "Do you think I'm beautiful? Do you think I'm sexy?" etc. I'm sure it's not a case of him not thinking you are! After all, he married you!
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What is wrong with your husband? I got a boner just from looking at your avatar, he should be calling you sexy, and everything else while fucking you until you fall asleep, lol
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artcellrox wrote...
Well, you've talked to him about matters before, and you said they worked out fine. If you're that scared, no need.Here's an idea: dress up in sexy lingerie (like Tsujoi mentioned) or try to cosplay up as a character he once called beautiful or sexy. :P
Lollikittie wrote...
You can't expect him to give you all you need, if you never explicitly state what it is in the first place. You need to learn how to speak up. He can't read your mind! Instead of trying to rack your brain, coming up with a sneaky technique to get him to just come out and say what you want to hear... Just explain to him what you're feeling, and what you need. I know it's cliche, but it's just.. so much easier to say "I feel ___", "I need __". But once you've said your piece, let him say his. You should be turning to him on matters of your own relationship in the first place.Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
crazymissotaku wrote...
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that! Uhhh...I was kinda just teasing your husband on the fact that he calls certain "characters" beautiful and sexy, but not you, his own wife, like that one user above was doing, but...yeah, sure. If you think that'll work, go ahead.
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artcellrox wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that! Uhhh...I was kinda just teasing your husband on the fact that he calls certain "characters" beautiful and sexy, but not you, his own wife, like that one user above was doing, but...yeah, sure. If you think that'll work, go ahead.
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. >.<; But I really am willing to try just about anything. I just want to know if he thinks I'm the perfect girl in his eyes, just as I think that he's the perfect guy for me. I really want his approval and to be reassured that he's happy with me.
AvatarEnd wrote...
There's nothing else you should be doing. There's something wrong on his end of things if he's calling 2-d girls sexy and not you.Thank you. In a way, I'm kind of glad that there's nothing wrong with feeling the way I do, but I also am a bit sad if there really is nothing else I can do.
animefreak_usa wrote...
Let me hit it and i call you whatever you want. ^_-Trust me, I do let him do that. Lols
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I think I might know how he feels. When (if) I get in a relationship, I'll really have to muster some courage to say things like hot and sexy, because they do feel a bit... shallow. But so what if they are shallow opinions? If they're my opinions, then I have a right and obligation to say them to my lover.
So do what you can to ease him into it (cosplay sounds like a fine idea), but there is always the depressing possibility that his mental construct of "cute" includes you, but his concepts "beautiful" and "sexy" don't.
And if nothing does work, you could settle for the fact that, on at least one occasion, he's looked at you and thought "I'd tap that."
So do what you can to ease him into it (cosplay sounds like a fine idea), but there is always the depressing possibility that his mental construct of "cute" includes you, but his concepts "beautiful" and "sexy" don't.
And if nothing does work, you could settle for the fact that, on at least one occasion, he's looked at you and thought "I'd tap that."
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Gravity cat
the adequately amused
Some guys tend not to coin the phrase "beautiful" or "sexy", as some (like me) have been told that they "say that to all the girls", which kind of wrecks the mood for both parties, while other guys also just don't say it at all because it's just not in their nature.
My best advice would be to stop chasing after a "beautiful"/"sexy" compliment, because if you really think about it, it's not that big of a deal. But if it really bugs you, just dress up in lingerie and just go all out to slut yourself up for him. That should get something out of him.
My best advice would be to stop chasing after a "beautiful"/"sexy" compliment, because if you really think about it, it's not that big of a deal. But if it really bugs you, just dress up in lingerie and just go all out to slut yourself up for him. That should get something out of him.
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Gravity cat wrote...
Some guys tend not to coin the phrase "beautiful" or "sexy", as some (like me) have been told that they "say that to all the girls", which kind of wrecks the mood for both parties, while other guys also just don't say it at all because it's just not in their nature.My best advice would be to stop chasing after a "beautiful"/"sexy" compliment, because if you really think about it, it's not that big of a deal. But if it really bugs you, just dress up in lingerie and just go all out to slut yourself up for him. That should get something out of him.
I guess that's true. I guess what bothered me most is that he'd use the phrase beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy on animated characters and actresses, and just cute on me. It sort of makes me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong. @_@ Maybe I'm over thinking it, though.
ryuuhagoku wrote...
I think I might know how he feels. When (if) I get in a relationship, I'll really have to muster some courage to say things like hot and sexy, because they do feel a bit... shallow. But so what if they are shallow opinions? If they're my opinions, then I have a right and obligation to say them to my lover.So do what you can to ease him into it (cosplay sounds like a fine idea), but there is always the depressing possibility that his mental construct of "cute" includes you, but his concepts "beautiful" and "sexy" don't.
And if nothing does work, you could settle for the fact that, on at least one occasion, he's looked at you and thought "I'd tap that."
Well, I'll try the cosplay thing, and if it doesn't work, then I will just accept it then, as that would be the only thing I can do afterward. I do appreciate all of the suggestions and everything, especially since it's helped me see things in a way that's not so one-sided. ^_^