Just once I want him to call me beautiful/gorgeous/sexy...
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crazymissotaku wrote...
Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.
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what can i say we the mens are realy stupic expresing our feelings, and very often we miss what we are doing wrong in a relantionship, but if your husban has been this way since you know him well its very dificult to try to change him, and i know it may be hard but why dont you try to tell him how do you feel about the whole thing of him dont call you sexy
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shansleven wrote...
What is wrong with your husband? I got a boner just from looking at your avatar, he should be calling you sexy, and everything else while fucking you until you fall asleep, lolWhat is wrong with you? Not only is that a bit creepy, it's just a picture of her face.
lollikittie wrote...
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.I agree with this. I don't know much about your history, but it seems to me as kind of rushed/forced.
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
Lollikittie wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.
This. Lollikittie knows all.
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seksmeup wrote...
[quote="shansleven"]What is wrong with your husband? I got a boner just from looking at your avatar, he should be calling you sexy, and everything else while fucking you until you fall asleep, lolWhat is wrong with you? Not only is that a bit creepy, it's just a picture of her face.
Asian chicks do that to me?????
And I agree with lollikittie, there's definitely a problem there.....
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Lollikittie wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.
I see... You are right... But even if it's true, I still have every intention on making our marriage work. I really do love him, and despite everything, he's been a great husband in other ways. He and I also have went through a lot of hardships together before that were way worse than this, and we've managed to overcome them and we are gradually trying to better ourselves. I've thought about it, and I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try marriage counseling with him...
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Drifter995
Neko//Night
crazymissotaku wrote...
Lollikittie wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.
I see... You are right... But even if it's true, I still have every intention on making our marriage work. I really do love him, and despite everything, he's been a great husband in other ways. He and I also have went through a lot of hardships together before that were way worse than this, and we've managed to overcome them and we are gradually trying to better ourselves. I've thought about it, and I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try marriage counseling with him...
One tip:
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, think you can change him. (not saying you would or anything, just advice) You can't change people. If you try, things will go horribly wrong.. you'll probably get depressed, things will start to fall apart and what not..
I'm not sure, but he could be one of those guys who just doesn't like showing emotion, as it makes them seem weak? something like that.. like, if he calls you beautiful, he'll think you'll find him weak? iunno.. just a thought.. can't really think of much else.
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I use the word "cute" to compliment almost everything.
Because of my lack of vocabulary, but also, I do sometime feel shy at giving compliments (and I'm a girl). I remember one of my ex, some guy I was seeing before and even some friends point it out and directly ask why I always call them cute? They asked me straight up if I only find them "cute", because it makes them feel... more to the kid side. They also said how they heard me complimenting singers or actors as handsome, etc.
I somehow can related to it, if I didn't misunderstood.
My reason, there's nothing much to say. I just feel more comfortable using the word cute, even though an action more to the charming, or handsome, or sexy side. Sometimes, I just feel a bit more shy >//> I don't know why... Other times, is just because I'm used to it.
Back then, I tried to be more specific on my compliments with my ex, but the shyness was still there. Just need to get used to it. Therefore, it didn't change my point view even though I called them cute anyways. In fact, I even felt a bit less comfortable. If it makes him happy, is a small change I didn't minded at all.
Also, English is far being my mother tongue, so that also make a difference.
Because of my lack of vocabulary, but also, I do sometime feel shy at giving compliments (and I'm a girl). I remember one of my ex, some guy I was seeing before and even some friends point it out and directly ask why I always call them cute? They asked me straight up if I only find them "cute", because it makes them feel... more to the kid side. They also said how they heard me complimenting singers or actors as handsome, etc.
I somehow can related to it, if I didn't misunderstood.
My reason, there's nothing much to say. I just feel more comfortable using the word cute, even though an action more to the charming, or handsome, or sexy side. Sometimes, I just feel a bit more shy >//> I don't know why... Other times, is just because I'm used to it.
Back then, I tried to be more specific on my compliments with my ex, but the shyness was still there. Just need to get used to it. Therefore, it didn't change my point view even though I called them cute anyways. In fact, I even felt a bit less comfortable. If it makes him happy, is a small change I didn't minded at all.
Also, English is far being my mother tongue, so that also make a difference.
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crazymissotaku wrote...
I see... You are right... But even if it's true, I still have every intention on making our marriage work. I really do love him, and despite everything, he's been a great husband in other ways. He and I also have went through a lot of hardships together before that were way worse than this, and we've managed to overcome them and we are gradually trying to better ourselves. I've thought about it, and I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try marriage counseling with him...
Your devotion to your marriage is admirable, just don't let your own wants and needs fall by the wayside in favor of his. There has to be an equilibrium, give and take, speaking and listening.
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Drifter995 wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Lollikittie wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
Yes, but for some reason that I still can't really understand, when it comes to compliments, my husband gets a little upset about it. There's been a similar situation we've been in before, and when I tried to bring up how I felt about it, he just snapped at me. The only thing I can think of as to why he reacted that way is because maybe he thought I was being ungrateful for what he said, and that's not true. I don't want to offend him in that way again, and so I guess I feel that all I can do to possibly get him to say it is to actually work for it and try to earn it.
Artcellrox, the cosplay idea just might work. I can't believe I hadn't thought of that!
If you can't have a calm, honest conversation with him about emotional matters, you shouldn't have married him. His hostility is a red flag. This is clearly a much bigger issue than what might be solved by 'cosplay'. You shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing more verbal/emotional affection.
I see... You are right... But even if it's true, I still have every intention on making our marriage work. I really do love him, and despite everything, he's been a great husband in other ways. He and I also have went through a lot of hardships together before that were way worse than this, and we've managed to overcome them and we are gradually trying to better ourselves. I've thought about it, and I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try marriage counseling with him...
One tip:
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, think you can change him. (not saying you would or anything, just advice) You can't change people. If you try, things will go horribly wrong.. you'll probably get depressed, things will start to fall apart and what not..
I'm not sure, but he could be one of those guys who just doesn't like showing emotion, as it makes them seem weak? something like that.. like, if he calls you beautiful, he'll think you'll find him weak? iunno.. just a thought.. can't really think of much else.
Oh, I have no intention of changing him. That just doesn't seem right to me. What I do hope though, is to get a better understanding of each other and hopefully learn how to communicate better. Maybe that's where the real problems lie.
My-only-Jun wrote...
I use the word "cute" to compliment almost everything. Because of my lack of vocabulary, but also, I do sometime feel shy at giving compliments (and I'm a girl). I remember one of my ex, some guy I was seeing before and even some friends point it out and directly ask why I always call them cute? They asked me straight up if I only find them "cute", because it makes them feel... more to the kid side. They also said how they heard me complimenting singers or actors as handsome, etc.
I somehow can related to it, if I didn't misunderstood.
My reason, there's nothing much to say. I just feel more comfortable using the word cute, even though an action more to the charming, or handsome, or sexy side. Sometimes, I just feel a bit more shy >//> I don't know why... Other times, is just because I'm used to it.
Back then, I tried to be more specific on my compliments with my ex, but the shyness was still there. Just need to get used to it. Therefore, it didn't change my point view even though I called them cute anyways. In fact, I even felt a bit less comfortable. If it makes him happy, is a small change I didn't minded at all.
Also, English is far being my mother tongue, so that also make a difference.
I see. A lot of people on here seem to feel the same, too, so it just may be a possibility that maybe he feels that way, too.
Lollikittie wrote...
crazymissotaku wrote...
I see... You are right... But even if it's true, I still have every intention on making our marriage work. I really do love him, and despite everything, he's been a great husband in other ways. He and I also have went through a lot of hardships together before that were way worse than this, and we've managed to overcome them and we are gradually trying to better ourselves. I've thought about it, and I don't know if it'll work, but maybe I should try marriage counseling with him...
Your devotion to your marriage is admirable, just don't let your own wants and needs fall by the wayside in favor of his. There has to be an equilibrium, give and take, speaking and listening.
Thank you so much. :) I will definitely keep what you said in mind. What you've said has been very helpful. I appreciate it. ^_^