Kaho's Manga(Update chapter 2 !!)
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It was far too cliche for my tastes. Try and come up with some original stuff. I think this is your first manga, which is fine, but you really need to make it your own.
The artwork is very nice, but the background could use a lot of work. It's a raw, so I'll let that slide, but the background really does need work.
The bubble placement is a little odd. The one I had the most problem with was on page 8. You should think about that a little more.
That's all I can remember.
The artwork is very nice, but the background could use a lot of work. It's a raw, so I'll let that slide, but the background really does need work.
The bubble placement is a little odd. The one I had the most problem with was on page 8. You should think about that a little more.
That's all I can remember.
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Cliche after cliche, it was a funny opening chapter Kaho. I can't wait for the next one and I'd love to see this coloured/toned as well.
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Krystel wrote...
Tegumi wrote...
kaho has 2 art threads again.
YOU have a problem with that???
Way to be aggressive...
Anyway I really don't see a point to another topic myself. Kaho could have just edited the first page of his topic, and posted it on the topic itself, a second topic is pretty much unnecessary.
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I'm sorry if I made u feel annoying or something, but Honestly, I thought of this also and I prefer making a new Manga thread !! Ruu...
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its a good that you made a new thread for your manga for your other thread was getting filled lol anyways... I loved your manga it was good I liked how you did everything and you inspired me to try and do one sometime soon or later XD
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Thanks guys !!
@Noel : This is not my first Manga , My first manga is about Pokemon when I was 13 !! Ruu..
@Noel : This is not my first Manga , My first manga is about Pokemon when I was 13 !! Ruu..
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kaho17 wrote...
Thanks guys !!@Noel : This is not my first Manga , My first manga is about Pokemon when I was 13 !! Ruu..
then show us your first manga lad
the pokemon one =3
@krystel - how many times did you switch forms? >_<
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mangaka350 wrote...
kaho17 wrote...
Thanks guys !!@Noel : This is not my first Manga , My first manga is about Pokemon when I was 13 !! Ruu..
then show us your first manga lad
the pokemon one =3
@krystel - how many times did you switch forms? >_<
From 13 til nao I drew a lots of Manga ! Unfortunately ,I lost all of them !! Ruu..
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kaho17 wrote...
mangaka350 wrote...
kaho17 wrote...
Thanks guys !!@Noel : This is not my first Manga , My first manga is about Pokemon when I was 13 !! Ruu..
then show us your first manga lad
the pokemon one =3
@krystel - how many times did you switch forms? >_<
From 13 til nao I drew a lots of Manga ! Unfortunately ,I lost all of them !! Ruu..
you have lost all of them?
so sad lad
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Hey Kaho, here's what I have so far, it's just the base colours for Kinoshita. Took me like, 3 hours so I think I'm doing it right.
Basically, I still need to double check the colours, I may change some colours, and remove those shading lines that are on her Uniform. And Then I'll colour Kei, and then shade everything.
Spoiler:
Basically, I still need to double check the colours, I may change some colours, and remove those shading lines that are on her Uniform. And Then I'll colour Kei, and then shade everything.
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I'm gonna try critiquing this, from what I could actually stomach before I closed it, of course. First off, proportions are still strange, face especially. Your pages are far too cluttered, with far too much going on in each. There's no real "flow" to the panelling. The characters are far too stiff, perfect examples being page 5 through 8. I'll add more when I have time. A decent first try, but it could be much, much better.
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TehMikuruSlave wrote...
I'm gonna try critiquing this, from what I could actually stomach before I closed it, of course. First off, proportions are still strange, face especially. Your pages are far too cluttered, with far too much going on in each. There's no real "flow" to the panelling. The characters are far too stiff, perfect examples being page 5 through 8. I'll add more when I have time. A decent first try, but it could be much, much better.Soo detail !! Thanks a lot TMS !! Ur comments is really useful and I appreciated that !! Hope I can fix these mistake next time !!
@Jacob: Thanks for paying a visit to my Manga thread !!
@link: Thanks for trying color my cover page ^^ ! If u wanna color , I'll send you the line_art version of next chapter's front cover !!
Ruu...
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kaho17 wrote...
@link: Thanks for trying color my cover page ^^ ! If u wanna color , I'll send you the line_art version of next chapter's front cover !!
Ruu...
That'd be great, and would make it look so much better :D
My technique is rough, so I have to take a finished JPEG and remove the white. Your line art ver. wouldn't have that issue.
EDIT: I also noticed a problem with the Manga. The speech bubbles are sometimes in reverse order. Sometimes it's read from Left to Right, and sometimes Right to Left. Right to left is the style that's used in Manga, while Left to right is the standard format for English speakers. It kinda messes with you sometimes. You may want to fix that, Kaho.
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kaho17 wrote...
TehMikuruSlave wrote...
I'm gonna try critiquing this, from what I could actually stomach before I closed it, of course. First off, proportions are still strange, face especially. Your pages are far too cluttered, with far too much going on in each. There's no real "flow" to the panelling. The characters are far too stiff, perfect examples being page 5 through 8. I'll add more when I have time. A decent first try, but it could be much, much better.Soo detail !! Thanks a lot TMS !! Ur comments is really useful and I appreciated that !! Hope I can fix these mistake next time !!
Yeah, I noticed that too, but with page 2.
It seems like you could have added an extra panel between the guy saying he's bankrupt, and then getting piledrived. It would make this seem less rushed, which also adds to the dramatic build up of what he's gonna do about it. And then there could another panel after that instead of jumping ahead a little bit.
-edits later- gotta go <.<
