Let's go to the hospital!

Most amusing, embarrassing or otherwise entertaining (to others obviously) trip to the hospital you've ever had.

Mine happened several years back when I was working for my Step-Father at his scrap yard (yes, I've worked in a scrap yard and no, it wasn't a desk job or a light job), this was before he discovered his love of cocaine and threatening to kill me. It was a hot day in south Florida and I was working with auto batteries that day. I remember seeing a hammer on the ground that looked wet. I reached to pick it up to find out that it was wet with acid (apparently fiberglass handles don't fizz up when acid is on them). I was taken to the hospital with 2nd degree chemical burns on my right hand. When the doctor came in to see me he looked at my hand and said, "if that's what your hand looks like I can't even image the condition guy your dick's in " (assuming my 2nd degree chemical burns were from vigorously fapping) when he read the chart his face turned red and he apologized, then again, what normal 14 year old gets acid burns on his right palm. Come to think of it, how would anyone be able to generate that amount of fiction in the first place to wind up with literal blisters on their hands?

Using the wrong combination of different lubes, lotion would get you a 2nd degree chemical burn?



That would be fucking awesome.

I cracked my head open when I was 2.

I was chasing my kitty cat, and smacked into the sliding glass door.

Fuck of it is... It didn't really hurt that much. I didn't realize I was even injured until my mother came in. She saw me and immediately started freaking out. Seeing her freak out, in turn made me freak out.

It was cool though. They gave me legos to play with when they stitched me up.

Unless that wrong combination contained HCl and lead (stuff in batteries), you should be safe...

I got electrocuted when I was little. I nearly died apparently.

That made me giggle out my penis.

I work in a hospital (never been as a patient). I am sure many of you are aware of pictures such as this one floating everywhere:



When you work in the emergency department these are reasonably common sights (especially on a Friday/Saturday night). Women tend to be more creative because they have more holes to work with.

Wait....Is that what i think it is...?

Still doesnt beat Ryan Dunn at the end of Jackass 1

Is that... spray paint???

By far my favourite (because I've actually seen this one on multiple occasions):



Other things on find routinely include:

- Beer bottles (easily most common)
- Wine bottle
- Oranges (funny never bananas or cucumbers)
- Some guy shoved what looked like a conductor's baton in his dick

We've only had 3 perforations.

The image being displayed is of the site's logo, not the actual image. D:

What sorts of explanations do you hear, when these people are asked about what possessed them to do such things/How did they manage it?

Lets see:
It has to be a tie between the time I went to the hospital with a broken dick, and the last time when I accidentally caused some internal damages to my latest Ex when she talked me into trying Anal Sex.

Vibrators are easy to explain. Everything else I tend to just not ask. Some try to explain it off as they're looking for a vibrator in the dark (yeah right). Most of the time they just say there's no particular reason.

I fainted, then woke up on a hospital bed.

it's sad, that I've been to my local hospital so many times, they know me by name when I see the nurses and doctors out on the street..and they weren't even my primary physicians....

nothing really amusing or entertaining, but I did have to get quarantined for having the flu and pneumonia at the same time that swine flu was big scare. Every person that entered the room had to wear scrubs and a mask, kinda weird waking up to someone that looks like they are in a bio hazard suit changing your IV lol

That is bloody brilliant. New Halloween costume.

Where the fuck do you even find people like this O.o.
Anyways one experience I could consider embarrassing would be having to talk to a CNA because she decided she didn't want to clean a patient because he was black and had maggots festering in front of said patient.

Wait what? Maggot festering?

Presuming by CNA you mean the nurse (I had one who still called herself a sister - how fucking old is she!).

I went to the emergency room when I was seven because I cracked my head on a corner in my house. I was spinning around in my living room and then fell over right into the corner. Embarrassing in hindsight.